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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? (49034 Views)
Am I Being Paranoid? Please Help Me / Am I Being Unreasonable Or Is My Wife Selfish? / Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by SimSify(m): 5:52am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Standardkid240: You don't know nothing.. An Igbo man?.. It's only an Igbo man that will buy the best for the wife with his money and still use the less.. An Igbo man will buy the car for the wife and walk without asking questions.. Wife and children is an Igbo man priority.. Without even asking for the name of the OP.. you should have known he is a Yoruba man.. Ndi ojor.. 17 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Nobody: 6:52am On Feb 03, 2020 |
No. You sir have parasitic tendencies. You married your wife for her paycheck it seems (making her remain at work because of 'economy'), and you don't even want her to have the necessary tools to ease her way of getting that paycheck. A man should be responsible for his family's expenses, yet you force her to work. You still want to use her money to invest in your business. Later, you will come and complain about how she does not respect you as head of the home. Why should she? And how are you the head of anything as you stand now? You're not. From her perspective, you're functioning literally as her non-performing debtor as well as an average occasional gigolo. 19 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by kunleweb: 7:14am On Feb 03, 2020 |
RisenPhoenix: 3 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by khiaa(f): 7:14am On Feb 03, 2020 |
makydebbie: Actually it's their money. 6 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by AWFCNAIJA: 7:34am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Opeyemiebun: Oga I thought you came asking for advice? Or have you made up your mind already? If you already know what to do, please don't disturb us again with your marital drama. However; Happy woman, Happy home! 4 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by obinoral1179(m): 7:53am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Shallypop:You better go and find your own head and stop wasting time.... |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by obinoral1179(m): 7:56am On Feb 03, 2020 |
SimSify:Flesh and blood didn't reveal this to you but the spirit do.... You make sense wella... 4 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by maynation(f): 8:36am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Wow!! See real men everywhere prioritising the comfort of the Mother and the baby, what a moment to be alive. Only those enraged kiddos insult real women at every opportunity they have. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by elektra(f): 9:02am On Feb 03, 2020 |
RisenPhoenix: This! Couldn’t have said it better. 4 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by elektra(f): 9:07am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Mehn, some Nigerian women dey suffer for this thing called marriage. On top of her own money oh! This id.iot husband is about to keep this woman and her kid in unwarranted sufferness. And if care is not taken this hard working single mother will refuse to get herself and her baby a car because of “submission to head of house”. I hope she her eyes open to see she is married to a selfish idio.t who only thinks about his own comfort and and wellbeing. 6 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by elektra(f): 9:11am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Opeyemiebun: Why can’t you people learn to say NO to your families for Christ sake? You have no problem saying NO to your wife spending HER OWN MONEY on a car, you know she really needs. Why is it then hard for you to say NO your family? Ehn? 14 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Opeyemiebun: 9:13am On Feb 03, 2020 |
I will like to say thank you to everyone who contributed in one way or the other. I needed to be woken up. I have picked every useful points including the insults to ensure I be the best of myself to my wife and kid . Happy week ahead!!! 7 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Opeyemiebun: 9:24am On Feb 03, 2020 |
RisenPhoenix: Thanks alot even though I shouldn't have quoted you. But for some people who might also pick one or two things from the thread. First, I still sent monthly upkeep to them. I don't ever ask for money from her. What I do is to always guide my wife to make a better decision in investing her money. That I have done many times, if she becomes a billionaire tomorrow it should be from the good decisions. The job, I got it for her....... Man need to be able to make lot of sacrifice for his home. The married Men here actually understand where I am coming from and I have learnt a lot from you guys input. Do have a nice day! 4 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Opeyemiebun: 9:30am On Feb 03, 2020 |
elektra:Smiles, thanks alot Madam but for the record my wife is not a Single Mother, she loves her marriage and her husband, she is not a feminist and she actually appreciate all the things her husband also bring to the table. I am getting her the car with my own money as adviced by more experience people on here 8 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by elektra(f): 9:52am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Opeyemiebun: I put it to you that your wife is a feminist. That is why she is inclined to buy her car with her own money. That is why she is contributing financially to the household, while also being the primary caretaker for your kid. If she wasn’t a feminist, she would have made your life a living hell until you cuffed out your money to buy both those cars. But please, don’t let me burst your bubble about what you believe feminism is. 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by PrimadonnaO(f): 9:59am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Opeyemiebun: Oga, you're sounding selfish. If she's all that you say she is, she shouldn't even be buying that car all by herself. Buy her the car... or you contribute 70%. You can sort yourself out later. She's looking out for both herself and the child. What is it? 2 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:07am On Feb 03, 2020 |
maynation: And if you notice, it's not those popular male monikers that are commenting. Most of the mature males on NL don't go about spewing rubbish. They only contribute to real topics, giving good advice. 7 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Sammyimpostor: 10:07am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Please don't be selfish, she needs the car more than you. After all you have been running your business without car, so continue until you have enough money to get another car for yourself. The day my wife put to bed I gave her my car and I started using public transport and didn't die Please be a man and look out for welfare of your family first that's why you are the head. I've gone to bed hungry just to make my wife and kids happy and here I am typing because the hunger didn't kill me. Please learn to go all out for your family before thinking about your comfort. Thank you 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Graxie(f): 10:14am On Feb 03, 2020 |
RisenPhoenix:This is the true situation, he is just claiming he is not using her money but guiding her on how to spend it just to sound reasonable. User!!! 3 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Opeyemiebun: 10:14am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Sammyimpostor:Thanks alot Sir, I really do appreciate your input.... This will go a long way 3 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Nobody: 10:18am On Feb 03, 2020 |
Opeyemiebun: You said, and I quote "Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle" as well as "We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes." So from your own words, this can be understood; - she runs her home (containing the child) and you run yours (with no responsibilities other than yourself). - your wish is to reduce your own stress at your job by buying a car justifying it with essential mobility. Of course, this comes at the expense of her forgoing any attempt at relieving her equivalent stress; as well as the baby's (remember that the baby is also exposed to potential okada accidents and breathing danfo fumes into his sensitive lungs). - your desire to make her become 'a billionaire' is less for her own sake than for the sake of your comfort; since you have already shown that your comfort has priority over hers. Likely, in the event that she attains that level, you will still be directing her money and forbidding her from buying anything for the purpose of her personal comfort; because it will still make as much business sense to you to invest the money then, as it does to you now. Why didn't you think to let her buy her car, and you buying a used Jincheng for yourself if it is truly about mobility? A Jincheng provides you with the same level of mobility as a civil engineer as a car and can go anywhere a car can go. Plus you can invest the money you would have used on your car instead. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Opeyemiebun: 10:43am On Feb 03, 2020 |
RisenPhoenix: Okay... You have gotten it all wrong. Bringing something to the table means there are things she personally needs that she handles. I pay her rents,set her up for business and got her one of the best paying federal job even before we got married. We have been friends for 7years. Even with money she seeks my opinion which has worked for us. On the issue of car, I never said I told her not to buy... It was in my head to find a solution where we would make the best decision for our home. We both need it, but I was thinking buying two is not economically viable. I needed to be woken up and I got the best answer which is to buy for and suspend mine . Lastly, even if she becomes a billionaire... I would be a happy man because she always give me the opportunity to make decisions for us. She recognizes my function as a Man, she recognizes my intelligence and sacrifices to make decisions we end up being happy with after the results start showing up. When you marry your friend,you enjoy some leverages to help one another out and make the best decision for your partner. Enjoy your day Sir 11 Likes |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by cooooooks(m): 2:14pm On Feb 03, 2020 |
Don't allow her to use her money alone to but a car. Contribute at least 25% to the amount. |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Theyoungmatron: 2:34pm On Feb 03, 2020 |
Standardkid240:Thunder faya you dia. An Igbo man wont even allow his wife to trek if they have only one car'. 1 Like |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by billbonesmd(m): 3:06pm On Feb 03, 2020 |
Shift please Shugavee: |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by billbonesmd(m): 3:07pm On Feb 03, 2020 |
Shift please Nonsense and ingredients Shugavee: |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by pmoye(m): 3:07pm On Feb 03, 2020 |
Get the first car and give it to your wife. She needs and deserves that more than you do. It is not an easy thing running the house without a car. She needs it more. There is no better way to show that you support her and all her sacrifices for the family but by prioritizing her needs above yours. Opeyemiebun: |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by jahlove4jah: 3:07pm On Feb 03, 2020 |
If there is anyone who needs the car most, that should be your wife. kunleweb: 1 Like |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by kaziblake(f): 3:08pm On Feb 03, 2020 |
There is no issue here sir..it is her money,allow her get the car!Leaving in Lagos with a child and even doing office work with any assistance or help is really stressful |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Opdateoyeyemi(f): 3:08pm On Feb 03, 2020 |
You are not making any sense, buy your car and allow her buy her own. Did you marry her to be giving you money to invest? |
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by spiceadole: 3:09pm On Feb 03, 2020 |
makydebbie: Honestly, I am shocked too. A woman has worked hard and wants to give herself comfort with her money,without asking for contribution from the husband...Yet Husband finds a fault with that. What do men really want? |
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