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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. (64813 Views)
Why I Won't Allow My Brother To Bring His Wife Abroad- Nigerian Lady, Arike(vid) / Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice / Should I Allow My Mum To Visit Us (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by CosmicJames(m): 3:39pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Papasmal: Do you know the truth of this matter? No lady can successfully separate her in-laws from her home without the help of her husband. No women can separate you from your own people except you want it to be so. I don't blame women that stop their in-laws from visiting or staying with her in her husband's house because I know that it is what their husbands want. But their husbands are smart pretenders who put their wives at the front, and putting the blame on their wives to escape the wrath of their families. Free the women! They are not the problem. Their husbands is!! 44 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by bukatyne(f): 4:13pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Meeyankee: @Meeyankee, Is there any reason you are mentioning my moniker incessantly considering the fact you don't even understand my point? Since we are never going to get married to each other, isn't it best we respect individual opinions on this matter? Thank you in advance. Modified : I actually read your post when another user mentioned me. I initially saw the multiple mentions and knowing your previous stance typed the above. If you lack proper upbringing to insult people's spouses, I do not and will not tolerate such. I will appreciate you never try such with me again. Thank you. 29 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by JONNYSPUTE(m): 4:16pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
CosmicJames:.. Thank you for this. I keep saying it that the man is to be blamed not the woman. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by vicben27(m): 4:17pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
no relative is staying in my house for more than two weeks. let them go to their own house l hate Disturbance 27 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 4:22pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
bukatyne:I am not happy with that your ideology for real I want you to change your mindset.please it not too big to ask for. Your opinion is different from the fact I am telling the fact. 3 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 4:40pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
The house is not MY HOUSE but OUR HOUSE in the first place. Wish you could truly define what you mean by DISTURBANCE. Now my relations or yours are now Disturbance to your Life. Really!!! Disturbance? When they were making me be the one you called your own, they were not disturbing and now they would never be DISTURBANCE. vicben27: 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by BecaciaBarbie(f): 5:15pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
AmTruth:You are really making a big deal out of this and it’s wrong. What did the Bible say about a man leaving his whole family and cleaving to his wife? It was clearly stated there and the woman has the right over her home unless you don’t see her as your wife truly. If your wife decided today that your brothers should be off, you are to comply because even our Father Abraham complied to Sarah when she made such request, so who are you not to do same? The problem isn’t even accommodating relatives, but accommodating relatives who only cause more problems in your marriage. As newly wedded couples, it has always been strictly advised not to accommodate anyone until few years, as both still need to get to know each other more. I’d rather have a very beautiful distance relationship with my in-laws than live with them and let the self respect disappear over Maggie issues? It is just common sense, and unless the situation is a life threatening one, it is really not advisable as they might even bang your wife if possible lol even if they are ladies, which is even worse, your marriage might not experience peace for the first few years! If your wife is okay with it, fine...let them in, as some people usually don’t mind but if she isn’t, you shouldn’t impose this decision on her. For instance some ladies like to walk around naked in the house, but having relatives around would obviously hinder such, then she has to be fully dressed all the time. Anyways, it is the couple’s decision to make and what works for A might not work for B. 41 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Liposure: 5:22pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
As 4 me oh, B4 marriage my family comes first. But after marriage, my wife comes first. Nonetheless, my relations can live wit me as long as dey dont disrespect my wife 39 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 5:56pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Wow this getting interesting!!! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 5:59pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
I love your objectivity, as in the case of Abraham you could understand that these did not happen in the immediate of their marriage. No man would certainly allow his relations to stay with him for ever, they are all groomed to leave at a required time. even you doing that is not helping them to majure. But you can't just come into my life and the next thing is that I must separate my relations from our marriage. Even if she is my sister she would certainly leave one day to marry too. So no one would certainly stay forever, so why the unnecessary restrictions. And the scriptural interpretation of man leaving his house doesn't mean depriving your people from your home. The Church only gave a caution for early marriages for those who didn't define issues very well during their relationship and the church never advise that couples should not allow their relations to stay with them. Check it very well you would see that marriages that doesn't allow relations closer to them always find themselves Dying in Silence when the inevitable challenges of life begins to display. Truth is that Women should understand that when it gets tough these ones would be your backbone. Because you would still need them whether you like it or not. BecaciaBarbie: 3 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 6:31pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
In Africa, when you marry someone, you marry their family, too. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by wizdomnzube(m): 6:53pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
So naw if I use my own money marry wife finish, use my money rent houz, use my money dey feed d wife, and my own momsy or siblings one con stay with ha lovely son/bro, my wife go begin give attitude?? Omo na one na once she go reach gate with ha bags for ha behind. Una dey wyn me ni? If any woman wan enjoy me wella, mk she do proper for where ma family dey. Life nor hard, na we make am hard! 14 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Jokerman(m): 7:05pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Waterview: Another Messi ass licker changes his monicker 3 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by iLegendd(m): 10:07pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Real men marry women that will obey for life. 4 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Fisher007: 10:08pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Lol is it by force to marry ? Always one issue or the other. You will just realize that your life was more peaceful without all these marital trivia matters . Hmm ok . Keep commenting oo. I am reading and learning the more reason to focus on my path jeje. 3 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AntiWailer: 10:08pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Na wa. Life is complicated than u think. Of course they must come but them staying will cause more problem for u than the love u want to share. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by bukatyne(f): 10:09pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
AmTruth: Maybe if the men decide to be good husbands no matter what happens, the wives would not need their in-laws to be their backbone? 25 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Validated: 10:09pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
What about you reverse the situation? Your wife also has relatives also. Would you mind them staying with you also 8 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by vicben27(m): 10:10pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
AmTruth:marriage should be enjoyed by the Man and his wife, am not a fan of prolonged staying l've never leaved with any family member who is married, if their staying won't affect my peace it's good and fine l hate drama 11 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Shakaranews2020: 10:10pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Well spoken. This is one reason while I might end up marrying from my tribe. In my tribe, accommodating your relatives and siblings once in a while is a norm. All through my University days, I lived with my uncle. It was hard for myself and my relatives when he got married to a lady from a different tribe. She felt it wasn't right. She felt it shouldn't be so, because her people(Efik, ibibio, anang) frown at it. At a point, she made living in the house a night mare for me. I blame my father who thinks there was no need renting a house for me when his brother was living in same city (poverty mentality or what?). I would work hard to see that my kids don't have to stay with anyone. Not at all. The experience in the hands of wives ain't funny. I hate women who detest their husband's relatives. To think this said lady pretended and did all sort, but how she changed from 0 to 100 after her place in the home had been cemented and guaranteed, supprised me. After graduating in 2015, haven't stepped my foot there again. I might visit soon though. 12 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by jaxxy(m): 10:12pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
AmTruth: And then the wives relatives can come and stay also?? I hope that will equally be allowed? 9 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by xrayj(m): 10:12pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Meeyankee:Bukatyne u see your life... 5 Likes
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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Merciful77: 10:13pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Not easy to bear 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by seniormallam(m): 10:13pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
After pushing will barrow in the market, my younger brothers sold pure water tire, my sisters Hawks bread, they were all gathering the money together for my school fees as the first son..........but we thank God today, we can now build houses and afford to buy a car..........one woman will now say those people cannot visit or stay as long as they pleased in my house..........dear wife, na you go commot go your papa house las las, it's our father's that actually marry wife.........what we have now are family breaker's, where were you when my mum was grounding pepper in the market to feed me and my sibling's. 30 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 10:13pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
They should visit of course, but they should not constitute themselves into a nuisance. Leave when the ovation is loudest and don't overstay your welcome. That way, they'll look forward to your next visit. 9 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by visijo(m): 10:14pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Instead of buying him gifts on Valentine’s Day, just give him the money let him pay the people he’s owing. 2 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Mizwisdom(f): 10:14pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Very childish, how did this get to FP? as long as my own relatives can freely walk in and out of our house, my husband's can too but you don't expect me to love your family more than mine 8 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Endtimebro: 10:16pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
See sensible post. "Nobody joke with my wife, my wife should understand the importance of my parents and siblings" But awon feminist crew will come out to attack the op 4 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Coolcalmcollect(m): 10:17pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
AmTruth:visit is not an issue but why will your relative wanna start living with you and your wife? dont they have their own housese? the real question is why will anybody wanna marry from a family whose relative will wanna move into their new marriage apartmnts with dem. even me cant allow my own relative stay more than few days in my house with my wife talkless of living with us, as what? visit and bounce please....private home. 25 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Mizwisdom(f): 10:18pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
ITbomb: You're a sensible man, don't mind those kids that's why many will be poisoned all in the name of trusting family wholeheartedly 4 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by israelmao(m): 10:18pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Th |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by BrutusOj(m): 10:19pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
AmTruth:Op! You just sound like me gan.. some ladies fail to understand that their man who is doing well and comfortable now was once at the mercy of other people especially relatives. How can you just meet me in less than five years and now want to chase everybody away from me in the name of one stupid love? 3 Likes |
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