Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,658 members, 7,955,375 topics. Date: Sunday, 22 September 2024 at 01:05 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. (65693 Views)
Why I Won't Allow My Brother To Bring His Wife Abroad- Nigerian Lady, Arike(vid) / Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice / Should I Allow My Mum To Visit Us (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (20) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by pocohantas(f): 11:45pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
pcguru1: How do they even do it? Pack your bag and go live in someone's matrimonial home. Haba! 7 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Ryan03(f): 11:45pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Waterview:everyone got their preference, I cannot allow family members stay in my house, they have their house. you can visit and go, but coming to stay in my house permanently, for what? If you are coming to visit, its fine, you can come spend holiday and go, come visit and go, stay 3 days and go, come for omuguo, no problem but staying in my house permanently, why now? 5 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Ivebeenbanned(f): 11:46pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
AmTruth:You sir, have you learnt to tolerate? Women remain in abusive relationships because of stupid mentality like this. Women must do this, women must do that. What about you? What about her feelings as a human being? 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by YungJo207(m): 11:46pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
All those of you shouting money and food cause issue I don't understand....how many of you know timaya younger brother stays in his house? Mind you his baby mama also stays in the same house too...his mom visit also and them no born anybody well make they do her anyhow.... Larry gagaa younger sisters visit his house all the time and can stay for as long as you are tired even his old friends too. See Davido too people always full house even he's around and not and chioma is cool with everybody. See when you get money as a man or you no get you should be able to let you wife know look this is my FAMILY fam me that ain't no joke, woman fit leave you tomorrow but you FAMILY and GOOD FRIENDS will always turn up for you....also let you friends and family know Yo this is my wife respect her like you will respect me. So I see no reason why a woman will get angry over your husband siblings eating food in the house without you approve like come on Food? Wetin you go chop go toilet in 2hours expect another issue dey her mind wen she no wan talk but if it because of food ooo then sist you get problem. 4 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 11:47pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
AmTruth:Nobody is saying relatives shouldn't come and visit, the issue is the mothers or younger siblings coming to LIVE with you and your spouse for months or years. It is not right!!! Marriages don't have peace because of that, they always try to meddle in the lives of the new couple. 9 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by safarigirl(f): 11:47pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
pocohantas: It is daughters that care for their parents in old age. Sons are unreliable on that part. They are only good for carrying on useless name, and what concerns you with your name, when you're dead? Some of these guys will not give their sisters money when in need, but they will rush and borrow money from their sisters to call babe, or to send babe airtime. Na real audio care 11 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by ImaIma1(f): 11:48pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
bigiyaro: Please who is supposed to bring him up and mold him before? The doctor? Upbringing is not a favour. Family interference in marriage should be minimized, from both sides. At least the wife too has family. If she also brings like 1 or 2 relatives to stay, it will be a problem. Inlaws should be managed. Though there are some that come and want to be treated like royalty 10 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by pocohantas(f): 11:48pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
sainthumble: I am. Stay away! 2 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by YungJo207(m): 11:48pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Ryan03: If your siblings first you get money then get married you went to his house and he tells you this your comment how would you feel? 3 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by 2019elections: 11:50pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
pocohantas: Obviously If I were to to be a woman, I won't marry a man with your husband's qualities as you stated earlier. It's people like you that will still want ur husband to make u his top priority. Not even sure you're married. Your talks shows you have little or no experience abt marriage. |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by sainthumble: 11:53pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
pocohantas: U r one of Dem. I know u, very wicked |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Kiezodumah(m): 11:53pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
ITbomb:Guy it all depends on the level of relationship. It's not a big deal. 1 Like |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by megareal: 11:57pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
A family that has self respect will not try to be an imposition on their siblings. But most Nigerian families ain't got self respect. Most wait until their brother is married before transferring themselves to his house, expecting to be waited on hands and feet by the wife and if she dares to resist, ah! heaven don fall. A relative can visit, but not live with a couple. The visit shouldn't be prolonged else it will definitely result in problems. Reading most replies on Nairaland on family issues makes me realise why the Nigerian woman is getting worse. They are backed into a corner by these type of senseless preference over siblings and family. Make a woman feel unwanted and unimportant then everything she does will be for selfish and ulterior motive. 17 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by CosmicJames(m): 11:57pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
engrchykae:The question is; when your wife left you, did you die? Don't give your power away to women. If you try it, they will rubbish later and faster! Sorry, but it is your uncle that doesn't want his brother around. It wasn't his wife. Your uncle just pretend so you guys will think that it is his wife. You will agree with me that your uncle has all the power in this world to stop his wife from trying rubbish. But he failed to use that power. Why did he fail to use that power? At the end, didn't his wife left him? You must understand how to handle women early on before they turned to something else I think I will create a thread on how to follow or handle women so many people will know that women are very simple. But they can be very frustrating if you don't know their codes 2 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by YorubaAmaka(m): 11:58pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
safarigirl:hmmm you must be a STINGY type Those Women that don't want anyone to eat their FOOD |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by YungJo207(m): 11:58pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
safarigirl: You can't live in your siblings house in America says who abeg? Is it from what you know or what you have seen? Cause I know of about 2-3 couple who at least one of their family stays with them. I know a guy his brother been living with him since 15 the guy is 25 now that 10years mehn hommie just rent a house and guess what the older brother wife( African American ) was crying he was leaving cause of the bond the family has. The other lady I know ( white in her 50's ) her sister lives her mom since their mom passed and if my guess is right it been more than 5yrs since 2012.....so I don't know where you getting those mentality from.... Again saying American spend time with their friends Instead of their family is false...if I talk to bae now I give her 30mins is either she's on the phone with her mom or hanging out with her elder sister or some cousin. 4 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by midnighter(f): 12:10am On Feb 07, 2020 |
YungJo207: I see your point but you cant really compare the US family system which is based on a nuclear family model with African families which are centred more around extended family and wider support networks. The expectation of families in Nigeria is different to that of America and the responsibility and burden on a wife is also different. Not to mention the fact that there are no school fees over there which is what actually causes most people in this country to keep wandering and perching everywhere 2 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by dominique(f): 12:10am On Feb 07, 2020 |
ruffDiamond: Leave your sister alone, she's being a virtuous submissive wife. Direct all your bitterness at the husband that doesn't want you in his house. If you people keep going there and the husband kicks her out, she'll be the one that will get blamed and mocked for not keeping her marriage. Go and start your own family and feel free to choose who you can allow to come into your home or not 11 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Lastmankc(m): 12:13am On Feb 07, 2020 |
AmTruth:I know this counter thread will come out. |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by alexola20(m): 12:14am On Feb 07, 2020 |
2 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by TruthHurts100: 12:14am On Feb 07, 2020 |
I as the man don't want relatives coming in and out of my home. None of them will see my bedroom. None. 7 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by YungJo207(m): 12:15am On Feb 07, 2020 |
midnighter: Let be honest with ourselves cutie we both know there is no burden any where...you can't satisfy everybody no doubt but you see those ones a lady knows the man is very close to before marriage I see no reason why they can't come to stay after marriage or say a man brother/ sister stays with him and after marriage you want them to leave like WTF is that even fair at all? |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by paix(m): 12:17am On Feb 07, 2020 |
As long as your family members don't interfere in your marital affairs, it's fine by me. Some would begin to claim "this is my brother's house, I can do what I want " is totally wrong and should be discouraged. 4 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by zealguy40: 12:19am On Feb 07, 2020 |
mumumugu:What Is family without relation. My father Is my grandfathers child. he has siblings. Don't confuse marriage and relation. |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by paix(m): 12:20am On Feb 07, 2020 |
TruthHurts100:This is uncultured, you are now a married man and your wife needs privacy. |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by midnighter(f): 12:27am On Feb 07, 2020 |
YungJo207: Of course its silly for a woman to expect a man who was so close to his people before marriage to suddenly abandon them. But you need to acknowledge that what often transpires in some marital homes is not fair at all and it is a direct consequence of our African familial systems and attitude to women which can sometimes place unfair burdens on the wife. America does not expect anybody to accommodate any sibling or whatever. Once youre 18 you are OYO so if youre living with somebody on their hospitality, you will take it as a privilege and not a right since technically, nobody understands what youre even doing in somebody else's house in the first place. You will naturally respect yourself or be ready to be kicked out That has never been the case in Nigeria so bringing America into the discussion has no basis. 3 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Sprumbaba: 12:28am On Feb 07, 2020 |
AmTruth: I used to be like that till this evil sister in law came on board. I will never try it again. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Evercurious(f): 12:28am On Feb 07, 2020 |
H Olaniyimubarak: Hmmmmm..something dey there.. No be clear eye.. Check again 1 Like |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by armyofone(m): 12:31am On Feb 07, 2020 |
The most important thing is to be upfront when you are coming and leaving. I think it is because of staying longer than necessary that's causing the problem. Really, it can be inconvenience both financially and emotionally to visit unplanned or staying long. You just have to be thoughtful of the other person. 2 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by YungJo207(m): 12:35am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Sprumbaba: Share your story pls so others can learn... |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (20) (Reply)
PHOTOS: Lady Gets The Shock Of Her Life After Opening A New Baby Cream / "How A Little Girl Almost Ruined My Life" / Naturally Determining The Sex Of Your Babies - By Francis Ewherido
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 88 |