₦airaland Forum

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Girlwhocares:
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I do house chores when the need arises,thou i have someone who assisted me in doing most.
I tried has much as i can to appreciate him and as regards opening up my heart,it seems difficult like there's this defensive mechanism blocking my communications with him.

Girlwhocares:
I have opened up to two counsellors to seek for their professional therapy but they ended up been biased and sentimental,hence their involvement was fruitless.

However,there's no harm in trying another therapist who will more professional in his/her dealings.

Thank you so much for the suggestions and i will surely look into it.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Girlwhocares:
@daddytime please i will like to let you know I'm not from a poverty or never chop background.

I came from a very good background thou not born with a golden spoon but a silver spoon wouldnt be an understatement.

Not all matital issues are based on financial benefits & my case isnt an exceptional please.

Thank you for your time.

Girlwhocares:
Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Girlwhocares:
Thank you so much ma
I really appreciate your contribution and I will work on it.

More wisdom and blessings to you.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Girlwhocares:
I have opened up to two counsellors to seek for their professional therapy but they ended up been biased and sentimental,hence their involvement was fruitless.
However,there's no harm in trying another therapist who will more professional in his/her dealings.
Thank you so much for the suggestions and i will surely look into it.

Girlwhocares:
Well,he's not taking care of my bills,i make my own money but he's responsible in his own lil way.
Thank you.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

matrixmuzi:
Your real husband is down in the ocean. Check your dream life. That man is suffering from what he knows nothing about . Your inner man is not comfortable and wants u to make the mistake which is being a single parent. And once you achieve that regret sets in and it will be too late to make amends. Fight off those thoughts and draw close to God.

Ornament2003:
That's the work of charm, evil altar against marriage or spirit husband in action.
It could be one or combinations of the three.
Charm: maybe he used jazz to toast you. So, your inner person doesn't connect.
Evil altar: your village people at work, making you to elicit bizarre behaviour towards him.
Spirit husband: as long as you keep having sex in the dream, you cannot flow with your earthly husband.

But medically, you may be having some Psychiatry disorders. So, you may need to see a psychiatrist!

matrixmuzi:
Your real husband is down in the ocean. Check your dream life. That man is suffering from what he knows nothing about . Your inner man is not comfortable and wants u to make the mistake which is being a single parent. And once you achieve that regret sets in and it will be too late to make amends. Fight off those thoughts and draw close to God.

daddytime:
Yet, another.

Madam, there is nothing anyone on here (a faceless forum) can advise you that'd matter any, or have any meaningful impact on your sham marriage because, from the get-go, you knew love was non-existent amongst anything else that must have attracted him to you.

You knew how you felt about him during courtship, into marriage, and up until now. I'm very certain that the only thing that had changed has been a progression in how much he disgusts you.

I feel so sorry for the poor naive man. He is indeed naive and a mugu. If he wasn't the previous and the latter, trust me when I say, even someone who was blind, deaf and mute, would be just too sensitive to the much hate you have and exhibit for this poor man.

On a side note, does anyone notice how relationships are gradually losing everything relationship about them?

The good old heart2heart or tete a tete between lovers and couples is being daily trashed on the alter of social media, where people now come to bare their minds on issues bordering on their lives and well beings, while hoping to get advised or validation from complete strangers who have zero to no idea how it truly seats with them on the whole.

Everything for the life just dey get k-leg dey go anyhow...

Na wa

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Vortex369:
@ Girlwhocares

I really am worried how people babysit you on this forum when all you need to learn on how to make your marriage works lie in more than a Gospel Truth.

Here comes my 'more than Gospel Truth' and you deserve it:

You think too highly of yourself, you believe the world revolves around your own happiness. It is silly of you to conjure up this image of your type of man. It is a world of fantasy and smart people know it is nothing but fantasy.

You believe in your heart that he is not your type, and you keep fantasizing about your type in such a manner that you are ready to go down on sex with boys who can not clean the floor that your husband walks, because because they are your type. Those boys you sleep with do not have to do anything to make you like them. You just foolishly like them, cos they are your type. It is not shameful, it is a worrisome case of mentality so disordered by expectation of what should have been that you have lost touch with what is.

I want to repeat that line;

You have lost touch with what is, while your mind is fixated on the framework of what should have been - a fantasy image built on a particular structure of the body and lifestyle that you have totally forgotten that you are married. You are ready to behave single and lie about your marital status and diet to look for ever young because you live in denial. You are hoping someday you will be with your type for ever. A silly fantasy that dies when you realize that you may not be the type of lady for your type of man. When you meet your type of man, are you really his type of woman? mostly no, so the table turns, and you begin to face the Karma you put your husband through. Because obviously, he is also a slave of your type of woman.

Do you want my advise?

No, you have already made up your mind and it is fixated on the frame work of 'your type of man'. But what will give that mind set a hard reset is called 'Disappointment and Heartbreak and Insult' from exposure to the world out there, where there is no protection, no mercy, and definately no loving man who loves you sheepishly and foolishly than the man you have.

He is suffering and too ashamed to tell people how much his own wife hates him and he is helpless because he has not made up his mind.

The day he decides to mix up and share his suffering. He will be liberated, he just does not know what great life he is missing on an account of a mentally deranged woman who is suffering from chronic bipolar disorder engineered by thoughts of what could have been as opposed to what is.

You are not a married woman, because you are obviously in denial. But remember, some day, you will grow old, and lack the love you failed to give to someone who loves you. The Universe is savvy. We programmed it with a reward mechanism.

Solution:
1. Meditation - Stop inputs from all 5 sense organs and be left with your Thoughts alone for 1hr each day.
Watch your thoughts go through the memories and projections of your mind and delete the disgusts you feel for your husband and replace hem with what you love about him, cos you will find that your thoughts are mostly negative. No one can do this for you. This is epigenetics.

2. You are not your thoughts, start using the reticular activating system to replace your 'type of man' image with your husband's image during visualization and contemplation and the fabric of your universe will output that within 30 days of the exercise.

3. Invite your dream master every night to show you the progress on your simulated visualization through dreams and recommend steps to open up your heart chakra for unconditional love for all lives including most importantly your husband.

4. Surrender to the Pilot of your Avatar and seek realignment of your Soul within your husband soul group if you want to be with him.

OR Simply walk away and leave that innocent man to a new girl who will love him unconditionally.

I do not like people like you. So, do not thank me. But if you need my assistance, I can guide you out of your valley of darkness.

Girlwhocares:
He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!
Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.