₦airaland Forum

Haywhymido:
this is not betrayal, you said u dislike him to the core. so where is the betrayal

This was not my original comment to the topic on ground but a response to someone elses' comment.

Thank you.

rapid101:
bro is not easy I swear coupled wit dis lockdown. god de sha

So sorry about the incident

Betrayal is part of life. There are four things I have found which can reduce betrayal from people;

1) Trust only yourself with your secrets (that means never confide with anyone and never tell anyone about your dark side)
2) Never depend on anyone for anything, never take people's promises seriously
3) Expect little or nothing from anyone even those you have helped before
4) Always repay evil deeds. Never forgive anyone that hurts you and let others know this. It will make them think deeply before crossing your path.

Pascopele:
Immediately after the burial, a friend of mine that I trust so much on nairaland came to me that he needed help.

He needed 600K to tie up a business deal that his life and future depends on it. He promised to bring back the money in 2 months. I explained my financial situation to him and how its expensive to do burial in our tradition and all that.

But being who I am, I wouldn't want a friend to pass up an opportunity so I approached my elder brother who in turn called a friend to lend me the money because my elder. My elder bro trust me with all he is got.

While collecting the 600K, I told them I will repay in two months time instead of the one month my friend told me.

One month elapsed and he didn't bring the money, I gave him grace of another two weeks hoping I will meet up with. The time I gave my elder bro and his friend.

One month elapsed and my dear friend behaved as if I am putting unnecessary pressure on him, saying ," Pasco, you chill na, I go arrange the bar give you, just exercise some patient a little longer", I don't like reneging on my words so I looked for someone on nairaland who borrowed me 600K in exchange for my 8 months salary starting from August last year to March

Those 8 months are the toughest period of my life. I was grieving my dad and couldn't support my mom the way I wanted to and couldn't explain it to anyone. Not even my elder bro knew what happened.

I swallowed it like man and was barely surviving for those 8 months.

I was Betrayed and he is still owing me.

I no swear o! But e go hard for me to stick my neck out for another like that and I learnt.

Lesson: Love all trust none. I don't borrow people money again. I give up on helping people. I swear but we move ✌️

We are in the same shoe,1 out of 6 people owning me,told me same thing,that am pressuring him,despite the fact i have cancelled several debt of more than 150k he was owning me.... And apart from my siblings,i don't and can never lend anyone money again in my life

[quote author=Seenyo post=88429354]I deeply appreciate your concern bro!
Your post has got me so emotional that I can't hold back tears...imagine a stranger on a faceless forum reaching out to me even when those I assisted wouldn't...
God bless you bro.


God bless you too...trust me you will come out a winner...God gat ur back... it's only for a while.

Eulalia:
This was not my original comment to the topic on ground but a response to someone elses' comment.

Thank you.

My bad.

Pascopele:
Immediately after the burial, a friend of mine that I trust so much on nairaland came to me that he needed help.

He needed 600K to tie up a business deal that his life and future depends on it. He promised to bring back the money in 2 months. I explained my financial situation to him and how its expensive to do burial in our tradition and all that.

But being who I am, I wouldn't want a friend to pass up an opportunity so I approached my elder brother who in turn called a friend to lend me the money because my elder. My elder bro trust me with all he is got.

While collecting the 600K, I told them I will repay in two months time instead of the one month my friend told me.

One month elapsed and he didn't bring the money, I gave him grace of another two weeks hoping I will meet up with. The time I gave my elder bro and his friend.

One month elapsed and my dear friend behaved as if I am putting unnecessary pressure on him, saying ," Pasco, you chill na, I go arrange the bar give you, just exercise some patient a little longer", I don't like reneging on my words so I looked for someone on nairaland who borrowed me 600K in exchange for my 8 months salary starting from August last year to March

Those 8 months are the toughest period of my life. I was grieving my dad and couldn't support my mom the way I wanted to and couldn't explain it to anyone. Not even my elder bro knew what happened.

I swallowed it like man and was barely surviving for those 8 months.

I was Betrayed and he is still owing me.

I no swear o! But e go hard for me to stick my neck out for another like that and I learnt.

Lesson: Love all trust none. I don't borrow people money again. I give up on helping people. I swear but we move ✌️

I relate to your story but your amount and suffering is worse. The same happened to me but with 40k and 2 months of begging and suffering cos i am a student and i stupidly borrowed my friend a part of my pocket money.

Anyways, i am quoting to support your conclusion and add more to it. I no dey borrow anybody money again, and i no dey dash out. I only give money to those who are handicapped one way or another physically, if you have your hands and legs working i no dey give you any money but if i see a random woman or man in my area that is really suffering, i help. I always try to hide my cash and if my friends see my eating i claim its credit so they don't think I'm fluid(with cash). If any of my friends come to me crying for money, i will start crying my own thats the best way to follow them. I will tell stories of one imaginary problem or another. If they insist, i will cry more. If dem see shishi for my hand again na counterfeit

QuinModah:
People will betray you, you can't escape it. What is more important is that you come out Better

Have you being betrayed before? Share your story, you might heal

Use share so others can learn


While I was working for a company. I got diagnosed of a kidney infection and was admitted in the hospital for two weeks. I was staying with my father’s elder sister at the time because my parents were here in Abuja

Two weeks of constant drugs,drips and injections on my *you know* and guess what, my aunt and her family never came to visit for one day. My friends(even tho I didn’t have a lot of them) were to busy to come see me. No company representative to pay me a visit.

Everyday I would walk to the little store close to the hospital to buy biscuits and yoghurt because no one would bring them to me.


Betrayal hurts so bad because it never comes from strangers but those of your household.

This is why I recommend people live like they are alone on this planet. Have zero expectations. Any human can become anything at anytime.When u expect so much from people, betrayal is inevitable. Live ur life without expectations.

HelenMax did.
I least expected it that fateful day in May, 2009!


It's a tale of a lifetime!

And the cold meaness with which she looked me in the eyes?

Swallow my sacrifices!

Gosh!

Kevsmart88:
I know how this feels, my heart is broken....I just hope you get better but I wouldn't mind being of assistance in any lil way. If you wouldn't mind, drop your details...

I've got the alert bro, may the lord in his infinite mercies REPLENISH your coffers in MULTIPLE FOLDS- AMEN!
I deeply appreciate, one love!

bestabigaelever:
I never gossip sis
If it was something I said, I would have see it coming
I would have deserved it but sis my life is practically destroyed and I DON'T deserve that
I'm a good person

i cant deceive you only you know how difficult it is to forgive her. u said u r a good person? wldnt you like to be a better person? Take the positive lessons u av learnt out of the trial,forgive her and move on with ur life. After difficulty comes ease. the more u linger u in the darkness the more it consumes you.

I read some comments and cant help but wonder the kinds of people making these comments. Uhhhh

GreatResearcher1:
Sory dear. So how is ur health now?

swear say no be that breast you wan squash

[quote author=Kevsmart88 post=88430503][/quote]AMEN! I really appreciate.

jbravado:
Sincerely, I've seen wonderful inputs so far and I must learn from them. I'm the kind of person that can go all out to help persons(especially sincere strangers cos I've been helped too) even beyond my convenience and that has cost me much. I've decided not to help people again no matter what unless God touches my heart to help. I had a recent (this past Saturday) experience which I'd love to share.

I had some of my dad's money in my account and he requested that I go withdraw a part of it so we could use from it during this period. I agreed to go. But before I went, I helped my mum take some things to the farm and on my way back (heading to the bank), the devourer came.
A black car stopped in front of me and the man inside called my attention. The way I looked at him(my mind went to the usual scammers) he acted (I know now that he pretended) scared. He told me that I shouldn't be afraid that he was a doctor (showing me an ash stethoscope and an I.D card) but that he needed help.
So, I laid down my 'scam shield' thinking that he needed directions or something. But then he told me that he needed to buy fuel as his car was about to go off but he forgot his atm at the office. He said he needed some money but he'd do a transfer in return. I usually don't agree to help people with cash and then they'd do a transfer because I don't know if the money they're about sending is 'clean' but I resolved to help him as he said he was a doctor (my own way of appreciating their efforts even in this period). I wasn't with cash as I was yet to withdraw and we were close to some banks along that road so I told him no problem but I'd have to withdraw. He thanked me and I entered his vehicle. I asked him how much he needed and he replied 10K (I can't remember but I think he said he needed to get other things too). I had no idea of any close-by fuel station and so I asked him where he wanted to buy fuel from and he said he'd turn and go somewhere(he called the name of a place I can't remember). We headed for Access bank. On our way, he began to thank me and even promised to show appreciation(he said he'd send extra 3K). While in the vehicle, I was still analyzing the matter in my head (I guess my 'scam detector' came alive) but against all odds, I decided (I saw small risk though) to help him.
We got to the bank and I felt like calling my dad secretly to explain the situation to him before going on with the decision but I had no airtime. As I was about stepping out he told me to just make it 20K(that he'd send extra 5K and that it was my luck). Sincerely, I wondered how he'd just show appreciation with 5K just like that for my help and I left. I was glad though but it wasn't my source of motivation to help him.

I withdrew, entered into the self-acclaimed doctor's car, gave him the money (my first mistake due to trust) and waited for the transfer. He began to drive and while going he asked for my account details which I gave him. He attempted the transfer and he called my attention that the number wasn't correct. We discovered he mixed up the numbers or something like that and he tried again and it was correct. He showed me my details on his Polaris Bank's mobile app for confirmation which I confirmed. (The 25K was part of it too). He removed the phone from before me and that was it(I didn't see if the transfer was successful or not). He told me he had sent it, requested my phone number and was busy thanking me. Saying plenty plenty things.
I looked at my phone, no alert yet and I told him but he said he had sent it that it would come. I immediately checked my mobile app and it wasn't there too and I also told him again and he began to complain that why would I think that he'd cheat me as he was a doctor and all the other talks. He said that while I'm delaying him that the car may go off or something. So, I stepped down from his car (another mistake) believing him. And you know the rest.

He claimed to be Dr. Iyke; a doctor of UPTH when I asked(which I now know is false)

I just went straight to meet my mum and from there went home. Honestly, I looked like and was tagged a fool for helping this man but no wahala, I've learnt. I pray he repents too. I've resolved not to help anybody again Lai Lai especially when it comes to money.
My parents were disappointed. They were like, " you just entered a stranger's vehicle, what if you were kidnapped?"

It's still not real to me as I still check my phone from time to time hoping for a miracle from Dr Iyke.

Guy, u sef u dull ooo

Jaysleeves:
I was betrayed at work by my superior and it cost me my job, there's a document called P.T.W. " Permit to work document ". It's a written legal document that grant permission and authorization to commence a task. Usually high risk task, my immediate boss and i are both signatories to that document, i.e. I have to sign and my immediate boss as well. I did my part. Inspect work areas, got authorized by the PM and only needed my direct boss to sign to commence operation. I called him on radio as I was on the site. I.e an high rise tower of 34 floors and we were on the 34th level, My boss gave me a verbal permission to tell the guys to commence work even without him signing the permit. I was adamant and reluctant saying it's was against ethical practice, but he insisted that there isn't any problem. So I gave the go ahead only to be called that the companies "HSE Manger" is on site and on her way to supervise our activity, I was worried but not bothered as I was only following instructions from senior supervisor beside he is to take the blame. How wrong was I, to my uttermost surprise my boss denied me and claim he wasn't even aware of the designated task. I was shocked, I couldn't even say a word other workers came to my aid and said he was lying but all fell on deaf ears. This is a man I trusted so much as I have never in my life thought that this man can do such, my appointment was terminated for incompetency. It's painful but I have forgiven him. My only mistake was TRUST.

This is terrible!
Its a normal trend where I work. People are always saving their face at the detriment of others. I refuse to belong to this group

Haywhymido:
i cant deceive you only you know how difficult it is to forgive her. u said u r a good person? wldnt you like to be a better person? Take the positive lessons u av learnt out of the trial,forgive her and move on with ur life. After difficulty comes ease. the more u linger u in the darkness the more it consumes you.

Hmmmmm, thank u bro

Saintmary:
Betrayal stories, where do I start from?
Seriously, you'd think I'm a hundred years old.
What matters most is learning from those experiences. The funny thing is, after one situation has come and gone, a totally different situation will rear it's head and you wonder, "na only me waka come?"

If ure very trusting or depend on people alot u will have alot betrayal issues. Make sm adjustments.

QuinModah:
People will betray you, you can't escape it. What is more important is that you come out Better

Have you being betrayed before? Share your story, you might heal

Use share so others can learn


While I was working for a company. I got diagnosed of a kidney infection and was admitted in the hospital for two weeks. I was staying with my father’s elder sister at the time because my parents were here in Abuja

Two weeks of constant drugs,drips and injections on my *you know* and guess what, my aunt and her family never came to visit for one day. My friends(even tho I didn’t have a lot of them) were to busy to come see me. No company representative to pay me a visit.

Everyday I would walk to the little store close to the hospital to buy biscuits and yoghurt because no one would bring them to me.


Betrayal hurts so bad because it never comes from strangers but those of your household.

This is why I recommend people live like they are alone on this planet. Have zero expectations. Any human can become anything at anytime.When u expect so much from people, betrayal is inevitable. Live ur life without expectations.

I am currently receiving treatment for a serious heart problem, I spent 4 months in the hospital before I was discharged a month before this covid-19 out break. My own immediate elder brother, that is I was born after him, when I was okay and well doing, I always send him cash, if he ask or not as I hate anyone near me to be suffering. Could you believe that he never visited me while in the hospital and never called my phone. I am the one who still call him. It breaks my heart till today and tomorrow. we are from same parents. This is the worst betrayal for me so far.

I have been betrayed by siblings and close relation The most painful is the one that people don't care to ask you whether what has been said in your absence or behind your back is true.They jump to conclusion based on what they have heard or have been told

QuinModah:
People will betray you, you can't escape it. What is more important is that you come out Better

Have you being betrayed before? Share your story, you might heal

Use share so others can learn


While I was working for a company. I got diagnosed of a kidney infection and was admitted in the hospital for two weeks. I was staying with my father’s elder sister at the time because my parents were here in Abuja

Two weeks of constant drugs,drips and injections on my *you know* and guess what, my aunt and her family never came to visit for one day. My friends(even tho I didn’t have a lot of them) were to busy to come see me. No company representative to pay me a visit.

Everyday I would walk to the little store close to the hospital to buy biscuits and yoghurt because no one would bring them to me.


Betrayal hurts so bad because it never comes from strangers but those of your household.

This is why I recommend people live like they are alone on this planet. Have zero expectations. Any human can become anything at anytime.When u expect so much from people, betrayal is inevitable. Live ur life without expectations.

You weren't betrayed, you were neglected. Go check the meaning of betray.

Eulalia:
But does it mean that people cannot control their attractions or what? That's preposterous. I mean... I can never be attracted to somebody I know is dating a friend or to my guys friend. That's greed of the highest order.

It happened to me. Like my blood line today is married to a guy that chyked me for years.
This my blood line knows that this guy tried to date me. As in he kept coming to our house look for me for months. My mum and all my siblings knew him very well. It got to a point he threatened to harm me if he sees me with any other guy but luckily, we relocated to another place. Only for my blood sister to bring this same guy as a suitor. dang!
I just keep wondering, so she had been attracted to him all this while? Someone I dislike to the core? Hm! Fear human beings.

Till today, if I go visiting this guy will be telling me him and I have an unfinished business and some annoying silly talks. So most times when I visit, I'll hide away until I go back. Mehn... It sucks!

You rejected the guy, are you supposed to force your bloodline to do so too? It's not as if you two were dating or something close to marriage . Your freedom ends where another begins. You have no right to complain - what are you even complaining self.
See,
Now you know that the guy is obsessed with you, stop visiting them before u soil your bloodline's marriage . Stay away from them before u become what u are preaching against.

jbravado:
And I've learnt !!!!
(modified)

You mean this happened recently in PH?
These scammers are too wicked. Please don't beat yourself too much for it.
Next time, you point out a cash back centre for them. Cash backs accept transfers.
One last rule: Don't talk to strangers. This would go a long way to help you.

OBelz:
It was my birthday so I had a few friends around.

So I used the opportunity to introduce my best friend (she was my padi to the bone marrow) to my fiancé (now ex). She was so happy to meet him and I felt good because she had always wanted to meet with him. The party ended well and we all went home.

But after few days, kept getting calls and messages from this friend asking if I really want to settle down with this man. I wondered why she was really concerned and asking. So I asked her what is it that she isn’t telling me.

She said to me “Nothing was wrong”, I said, "are you sure?" She replied yes, she wants the best for me and she was just looking out for me. I didn’t bother asking again.

One very hot afternoon, my man(now ex) were together and he decided to tell and show me everything my supposed "best friend” said/wrote to him.

Firstly I was surprised how she got his number and I was so devastated.She told him I was no good for him because my family had issues and he would want that for him self.

Well I was flabbergasted to say the least now though �

The worst kind of hurt is betrayal, because it means that someone will willing to hurt you just to make themselves feel better.

Ever been betrayed? Tell us what happened and let's learn.

Ladies never introduce your friends to your man either ex, present or future.

This is a clear case of betrayal. Hope you have gotten over it.

ednut1:
as you no gree he say another fine specimen. No crime in that na. Abi you expect him to chase you for ever ni. Any why will you even visit them. Smh

I think say na only me see the thing o.
At least now I know that my thoughts on the issue are not weird.
She even respected her enough not to interfere when the guy was going after her. she rejected multiple times, her bloodline accept .there's no wrong in that at all.

The worst they say is not in existence, I saw the handwriting on the wall, but I ignore out of Love, she promised to stand by me, but she left when I least expected. She betrayed me beyond my own imagination. When you reach certain level in courtship you feel like you can move to the next level, not knowing that d other person has a secret agenda, please guys, when courting kindly have a backup plan, coz you never can tell what a lady has in mind. Never take a lady word and assurances too serious, I was deceived and at the same time betrayed. I wish her the best. I hope I find peace as well.

humblemikel:
Personally I haven't been betrayed yet as I don't even keep friends around,
I live a secluded kind of lifestyle and keep those that wants to come closer at arms length.
But in 2019,
I and my family witnessed the worst kind of betrayal ever,
My Dad, a very strong and compassionate man cried bitterly in his hospital bed because he was heartlessly betrayed to death by those he call his own.
I won't say much, as it's still fresh in my mind
I don't think anything will make me forgive those who drag my father to an early grave
Be careful of the people that eats from your table
They are the ones that will take the plate and smash on your face
The heart of Man is desperately WICKED

your dad didn't recover? so sad.

SexytorresE:
Can’t type

Send voice note now

A colleague friend I accommodated stole my one and only Jean trousers, my faz cap, my clipper attachment and some shirts knowingly I didn't have much. I asked him but he asked me to ask my younger brother who has been staying with me all my life.
I sent him away and that was the end of our friendship.

bestabigaelever:
An enemy disguise as friend asked me about someone personal, I opened up to her
I never knew she was recording, she went to tell the person and told the person what I didn't say, telling him she couldn't record all the conversations....that shit changed my life forever
I can't heal from that but I will make sure I destroy temitope

Modified
This is for people in my MT and even on whatsapp asking me to let go
This is what Temitope did
She saw me with a man that I was seeking some favours from, the man doesn't even notice me and I was frustrated (this favour will actually change my life)
Temitope saw me collecting the man's number and even saw the attitude the man was giving me, she then asked me what's up I explained to her how this man has been giving me attitude and I need help from him, she advised that I should give the man youghut whenever I'm going to see him...Only for the man to call me 2days later and told me have been tarnishing his image and vow never to help me....then someone sent me the recordings Tope made, it was only both of us on the street, in fact the person that passed us by that I greeted, everything is on the record

Finish her off. Am in support.

MrMacinterchi1:
You rejected the guy, are you supposed to force your bloodline to do so too? It's not as if you two where dating or something close to marriage . Your freedom ends where another begins. you have no right to complain - what are you even complaining self.
See,
Now you know that the guy is obsessed with you, stop visiting them before u soil your bloodline marriage . Stay away from them before u become what u are preaching against.

OK.
God forbid I soil my sisters marriage. We were brought up in a Godly way in my family, so no such thing will happen.

Olamsoh:
When my dad retired from his regional managerial position in an oil company in 2007, things were super rosy for a bit and everyone (family & friends) were swarming around like bees to honey.

Fast forward 3 years later when Dad was duped in tens of millions, things started to wane and then we saw the harsh reality of life roared it's ugly head. Friends turned foes, family turned it's back.

My dad went for a major hip replacement surgery and was stranded in the hospital. Several calls to ex colleagues of his, friends etc seemed mission impossible and it was really surprising seeing these same people that flocked around and requested numerous favors from my dad act like they couldn't even recognize his name. My mum cried, my dad was bitter and there was this huge cloud of disappointment, disbelief and betrayal hanging over my family.

We felt Betrayed but better enough to use that as the fuel/energy for our comeback

Your father was neglected not betrayed. Hope he is fine now?

Candoit:
You mean this happened recently in PH?
These scammers are too wicked. Please don't beat yourself too much for it.
Next time, you point out a cash back centre for them. Cash backs accept transfers.
One last rule: Don't talk to strangers. This would go a long way to help you.

Sure....thanks a lot.