To be frank, the lady didn't try at all, she disclosed her status 7months into the relationship which makes her not trustworthy, I advice you should leave her as soon as possible before you contract the virus..I bet you if she was still slaying and negative, she wouldn't have glanced at you. But for the baby, it can be breast fed for 3- 6months when viral load is low

Truely you are really a crazeman.

But I really admire your courage even as you are a Nigerian breed. If you really love her and know that she will not make mistake one day, you can carry on with her ok but try and be very careful. May God be with you.

Don't tell your mother realtionship done scatter be that.Let are put to bed first then let the doctors write a report for you why she cant breast feed.

Femeto:
Don't tell your mother realtionship done scatter be that.Let are put to bed first then let the doctors write a report for you why she cant breast feed.

Thank you very much.

Crazeman03:


Mother will be around for Omugwo.

Why all this misconcept.My cousin is poz so the wife and their four kids all breastfeed.
So ur mum or her mum can still cum for omugwo .

To the OP-practically speaking, a viral load of 20 or less is not the same thing as non detectable levels. I feel i should let you know.
This story would have a more revealing context/background if was a true one. And I refer to quality and not quantity. Her character, your personal circumstances and how this dating came to be would be laid out better for example.
I think this is one of the traffic-calling posts everywhere on Nairaland now. Besides if your babe is pregnant, once she tells her doctors they automatically refer her to the PMTCT section of the treatment programme. That you don’t know this only makes my conviction that this story is false stronger. I just don’t feel this one.

On the off-chance that the OP is true though? I apologize for doubting first of all. Then let your girlfriend tell her doctors that she is pregnant. This is for them to appropriately refer her for proper management (with regards to drug change, tests and preventing the child from being HIV positive during the pregnancy and in the birth period that follows it). You should attend clinics with her too. Do so once at least, and be educated about the very important and not to be played with viral load, and also learn the place and use of condoms in cases like this.

I have either seen, or heard of people who got jilted by the people they were dating (most times men dropping women) because of reasons like mother’s disease, being hypertensive, having fibroids or cysts as the case may be, asthma too. So this scenario is relatively unusual and quite refreshing. I have seen cases like it too, offline(in clinics). However I doubt this particular one.

Jst tell ur fam members dat she cant breastfeed because she does not wat her breast to sag.Is beta if u bth kip it to urself.Congrats

Crazeman03:


Thanks for the insult. The third I tested since we've been having sex was march and I'm still negative.

Village people have different ways of operation

Very very true

YoungPerson:
They say too many cooks spoil the broth but I'll give you my two cents.

Don't tell anybody. Not even your sister. Make your life as private as possible. If you try it, you will know the true meaning of stigmatization. Even if your family eventually warms up to you (some will never), the truth will out everywhere to your extended family. You won't be able to attend family functions, etc. Don't start an interfamily village people standoff.

Even if you have to, start your family first. Let the child come into the world. If they can reject your child along with you, then f**k them. Simple as ABC.

Jst playfully tell ur mum she cant breastfeed because u dnt wat her breast t sag.Dnt tell ur mum oo,else...

Crazeman03:


Mother will be around for Omugwo.

I think it's too late to disclose her status to your family now that she's pregnant for you. and mind you as long she keep taking her drugs, the child she's carrying will be negative. no family will support their son to go on with such marriage especially knowing that you are not positive. as for the breast feeding, you guys should find a suitable story to tell anyone who inquire to know why she's not breast feeding her baby, cos people must surely ask.

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything as been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it been 4month we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking are med and viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which make hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could believe she will ever had a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize a hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

Now. The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discover she was pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will be out to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she as the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

In the first place,I don't see any reason why you would date an HIV+ lady.
You don't know women ,OK..If you were to be in her own shoe ,would she have accepted to date you?.
definitely NO.
My brother ,you think it's easy to manage such a viral disease?..wake up to the fact that there is nothing like unconditional love.
She has sold herself up and down, now she has brought the spoilt body back to you.
what is even love...
face the fact bro

Congratulations

Wonders shall never end. Your naivety is unrivaled.

What on earth were you thinking? Having unprotected sex with an HIV woman? Are you mad?

You said love? What love?

Well... I'm trying so hard not to believe your story

Whatever you see, you take. Foolish man

Goddys:
I will say my mind plainly and not pretend like all the above commenters except emyrald91



Why would you have unprotected sex with HIV+ in the name of love even if she has low viral load?


Why entangle your life with unnecessary risks and liabilities because of love?

Do you think she wouldn't walk away if you were the carrier?

I am selfish when it comes to issue like this because it is my default state as a human being.

She didn't disclose it till 7th month when she noticed she had captured your heart.

This is exactly what happens when men don't take redpills, the likes ubunja has been selflessly administering here


I won't advise you. Advise yourself

Guy I no even blame the girl d lady did the right thing. You can't just start telling everyone that comes your way you are HIV + . She knew the guy started developing feeling and she told him


My problem na d guy

So guy konji hold you to the extent you went to start sleeping with HIV patient your sense don come back you are looking for excuse to leave the relationship

Telling your family members ( even nursery 1 knows it's a bad idea)

Breastfeeding d baby other baby food no dey market abi

If you leave that girl thunder will fire you idiot

Crazeman03:


Thanks for the insult. The third I tested since we've been having sex was march and I'm still negative.

Is it possible Sir

Crazeman03:


Thanks for the insult. The third I tested since we've been having sex was march and I'm still negative.

Don't tell any member of your family about it or a friend.. Instead, seek the help of a counselor. Follow your gf to a general hospital and you can get free counseling there. When she gives birth, tell whoever asked that the doctor advised against it because she has hepatitis, of course that's a lie.
.

if u love her marry her biko.u dont need to take anyone"s consent.and please dont go announcing to ur friends that ur wife is hiv positive cos you are casting her if u do so.no sensible husband would do such anyway.

Don't disclose her statues to anyone. Love and care for her. God will bless you beyond bounds for this.

lefulefu:
if u love her marry her biko.u dont need to take anyone"s consent.and please dont go announcing to ur friends that ur wife is hiv positive cos you are casting her if u do so.no sensible husband would do such anyway.

Great advice.. op that is the best you can do

I'm even dumbfounded, but lemme just say that God has just rewarded your being faithful and your unconditional love, brother, please keep it because you deserve a standing ovation and a thumbs up �. Having said that, please, try to keep it a secrete, you may be wrongly advised, besides, who knows whether the lady in question is your destined wife. Go for checkups regularly together with your wife and always ensure that she takes her medication at all times, perhaps some drugs were prescribed for you, please, take them regularly and may God helps you.

Just tell your family members before the relationship will go far o.

YoungPerson:
They say too many cooks spoil the broth but I'll give you my two cents.

Don't tell anybody. Not even your sister. Make your life as private as possible. If you try it, you will know the true meaning of stigmatization. Even if your family eventually warms up to you (some will never), the truth will out everywhere to your extended family. You won't be able to attend family functions, etc. Don't start an interfamily village people standoff.

Even if you have to, start your family first. Let the child come into the world. If they can reject your child along with you, then f**k them. Simple as ABC.

I.like this suggestion too, keep your matter private and build your family, consult experts about healthy living and how to handle the pregnancy and childbirth. Build trust in her.
God bless you bro, it takes courage to do this.

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything as been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it been 4month we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking are med and viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which make hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could believe she will ever had a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize a hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

Now. The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discover she was pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will be out to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she as the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

I appreciate your bravery

If you want to marry her, inform keep it away from your family, don tell your mum

Just go ahead

Make sure you she takes her drugs, follow her to the hospital where she gets her drugs, they will advise you on how to watch yourself

After birth she will breast feed for three months then stop.

If your family ask why she stopped breast feeding, tell them you don't want the breast to slack that the baby can survive on infant formula

Crazeman03:


Yes I truly love her and she feel thesame way. Though she till have doubt and always feel insecure about me. She believes one day I will walk away.

Is she all you need in a woman, if so, marry her brother, life is too short to stress yourself. Besides she can breast feed for the first 6 month, consult your doctor

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything as been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it been 4month we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking are med and viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which make hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could believe she will ever had a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize a hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

Now. The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discover she was pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will be out to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she as the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

You must be a strong man who is well educated and learned when it comes to the virus. It's just a Virus that can be managed and trust me nobody ever see it coming. Last week a girl a girl asked me Why me when she was tested positive. They were just unfortunate nothing more.. Extend the love and make sure u observe safety for yourself and your unborn child. At least let the virus die with the host and shouldn't be transmitted. You doing well man

panmunium:
To be frank, the lady didn't try at all, she disclosed her status 7months into the relationship which makes her not trustworthy, I advice you should leave her as soon as possible before you contract the virus..I bet you if she was still slaying and negative, she wouldn't have glanced at you. But for the baby, it can be breast fed for 3- 6months when viral load is low

But you didn't read the path she told him before they started having sex. So she should start discussing her HIV status to any divk and Harry she dates for two days so one idiot will make fun of her. She never took advantage of him, she observed his seriousness before telling him. They never had sex till she told him. Don't poison his mind.

Crazeman03:


Mother will be around for Omugwo.

Seek medical advice please. There is no where, were it is written that a positive mother cannot breastfeed her baby.

Ideally the baby will be on drugs for 6 weeks after birth and will be monitored till 2 years of age.

Google is your friend.

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything as been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it been 4month we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking are med and viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which make hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could believe she will ever had a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize a hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

Now. The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discover she was pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will be out to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she as the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

Go ahead and marry her.

Encourage her to take her meds so that the viral load can remain insignificant.

But if you feel compelled to leave her, just let her know that you will always be there for her and the baby but things might get very complicated if you leave her at this point to marry another lady.

You'll soon know what you're doing to yourself. That lust that is making you not to reason well will soon disappear and then reality will strike you.. Continue.

Eulalia:
You'll soon know what you're doing to yourself. That lust that is making you not to reason well will soon disappear and then reality will strike you.. Continue.

Silly remark, do you think she brought this affliction upon herself. Some off us are just been lucky while she wasn't. It might be of surprise she have a very low body count compared to some negative people...

Before casting people, try and wear their shoes. And always remember if u scale it ,will ur children do,will ur grand kids do... Nah just prayer.

stinflame:


Silly remark, do you think she brought this affliction upon herself. Some off us are just been lucky while she wasn't. It might be of surprise she have a very low body count compared to some negative people...

Before casting people, try and wear their shoes. And always remember if u scale it ,will ur children do,will ur grand kids do... Nah just prayer.

I wasn't referring to the lady but the guy who didn't do the right thing by first performing the marriage rites on her before impregnating her. Now hes in a dilemma and wants people who are not in his shoes to help him figure out what to do.

Just go easy on me. And you have no right mentioning my generation. Ok?