Thank you madam for taking your time to put all this up for people to learn from well done job
*as a marital psychologist* several things is happening in various home, some house is either husband is smoking, womanizer, gambling etc
I think your husband has only two variable base on what you put down is* BROKE* at the same time is *INGRATE*person the two are also a problem.
In counseling we give information is left for the client to choose the one that is most appropriate he or she let diagnose the two problem now
the fact that is broke is not is fault I think is general socio economic situation of the land try more to be his friend guide him the way he spent the little that come to his way and help him to reduce any form of irrelevant spending like house rent types of vehicle he use, tuitions fees etc let him know you want best for his family and you are not in her life for a problem seeker you're their for problem solve. There are other question that I may like to ask if it was normal counseling session but this can not be %100 counseling ethics on the issue of ingrate when ever you feel he you does something I he did not appriciaite you try to call him to order by doing first step you will know at time goes on this we change drastically for more enquiry called on 08021067187

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

It is complicated. Your husband have insecurity issues.

You should talk to his pastor or someone he respects.

maybe she's underage sha.u can't know on a faceless forum

midehill:


Can u jes imagine ha statement. I wanted to lambast ha but had to control myself

PrimadonnaO:


I don’t see anything wise in marrying a broke person.

Nigerians just like to attach virtue to suffering.

By the definition of wisdom. What is the correlation of being wise" not marrying a poor man ?

Or the wisdom in marrying a rich man" ?

veave:
Hian.

Wetin I go talk go pain you o. But na the truth I go tell you. Madam, right now I can't tell you to start with 50% so I will say 20%.

Thank God there is covid and I pray your job doesn't get affected. As soon as you resume, the second day you get to work tell him there has been a 40% reduction from your salary due to low inflow of cash. You need to save at least 20% of your salary. This money no Matter if the roof is falling down you're not to touch it. Na your back up money be that. The other 20% is for your upkeep. You and your kids should survive on the remaining 50% because you'd definitely pay tithe. It's because he knows you always have a back up plan that is why he is relaxed and allowing you foot all the bills.
No this kain thing make me say I no go marry "brother" when I dey small. Most of them are lazy and are dreamers. They expect manner to fall from heaven after their praying and fasting forgetting Paul had a handiwork that sustained him all through his life hence he didn't have to beg and depend on anyone. I no dey like this kind jist. He's not even appreciative of his supportive wife. I know women who use all their money to buy shoes, clothes and the latest asoebi, their husbands dare not say pim because they'd even take his own and join.

People like you are the problem of this awa kontiri.
How can you pass judgement based on only one side's story.
You should encourage them to go to a forum where both parties can be heard like Pastor or Professional counseling.
Not assuming all one party says is the whole truth.

hajimutex1:
Thank you madam for taking your time to put all this up for people to learn from well done job
*as a marital psychologist* several things is happening in various home, some house is either husband is smoking, womanizer, gambling etc
I think your husband has only two variable base on what you put down is* BROKE* at the same time is *INGRATE*person the two are also a problem.
In counseling we give information is left for the client to choose the one that is most appropriate he or she let diagnose the two problem now
the fact that is broke is not is fault I think is general socio economic situation of the land try more to be his friend guide him the way he spent the little that come to his way and help him to reduce any form of irrelevant spending like house rent types of vehicle he use, tuitions fees etc let him know you want best for his family and you are not in her life for a problem seeker you're their for problem solve. There are other question that I may like to ask if it was normal counseling session but this can not be %100 counseling ethics on the issue of ingrate when ever you feel he you does something I he did not appriciaite you try to call him to order by doing first step you will know at time goes on this we change drastically for more enquiry called on 08021067187

He is not an ingrate. He is just ashamed of himself not able to provide for the family. This led to transfer of aggression!

Not all men love being broke. I get really angry when i am not buoyant. When my wife noticed my mood she keeps her distance until i am calm. Then she will say nice things and pray that things would work soon.

The OP said her husband's salary covers the rent(which I believe grossly larger than any assistance or support she could ever offer) and school fees.

The rest like food or provision are merely enough for her to cry to us na.

merahki:



What an unkind post!

Dear friend, what is unkind about that post? As a matter of fact, that's the best comment for that thread. Tnx

Pls hi me later in d day 08033186399

This is one of my fears in life. I am the gentle type that don't love having issues with people

A number of guys that have been attracted have said they like me cause of my quiet and gentle nature but anytime they say this I see them being attracted to me because they see me as someone they can oppress.
Getting married to an oppressor and a troublesome fellow scares me a lot because I love my peace of mind.

But in my experience with Nigerians my dear you got to show your husband you can be crazy bring in that hidden African stubborness.
People naturally take gentle people for granted.
And pay attention to your health too, your kids needs you

switdick:

By the definition of wisdom. What is the correlation of being wise" not marrying a poor man ?

Or the wisdom in marrying a rich man" ?

I didn’t say a person is wise to marry a rich man.
Brokenness and poverty comes with suffering... untold hardships... marrying means multiplying. Why should anyone want that?

A person who’s broke shouldn’t be thinking about marriage, honestly.

A person doesn’t have to be rich to start a family. Just ensure you can cater for the immediate family, and that there’s the possibility for things to get better. That’s the barest minimum.

switdick:
The OP said her husband's salary covers the rent(which I believe grossly larger than any assistance or support she could ever offer) and school fees.

The rest like food or provision are merely enough for her to cry to us na.

U unmarried I guess.. If u do u will understand.. With d 4kids. How muxh is d salary we talking about sef. Some men don't wait for their wives salary. U mke sure u attempt all. Den let the woman support. U dnt hv to give her all the options.. More to this shall. As a marriage counsellor.. I won't say much pls..

angelusbrut:
Seriously some Nigerian men are just a joke,I got hooked up with a guy, well i am not sure if he is broke or not,but the manner he commands me made me to have a rethink, everything he wants you to apologize even the one he is guilty of, well as for me, am working and doing well,I can't because of marriage put my neck in a hook.
Least I forget,he will tell you that he is the man bla bla...
Yersterday,he insulted me like kilode, I just replied, thank you.
Nah so I take jakpa..I can't kill myself on top man and marriage matter.
Nne, please try and have some savings no matter how small, pray harder, you have already entered, you can't jakpa like that,I pray the man turns a new leaf soonest.

Good you recognized that pattern. I hope you find a man more attuned to reality. There is no perfection anywhere but there are men with some some sense of decency and that awareness to be just.

This is 21 century, woman needs to be treated nice, ur husband is a bad man stay away from him before you get killed.

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

Hmmm

aeion:
Men with these sexist, I'm-always-right-you're-always-wrong, my-way-or-the-high-way characteristics are usually like that before marriage. You probably saw some of the signs before you got married and thought he would change. Or you were too caught up by him portraying himself as a so-called man of God that you didn't pay attention to the things you should have and walked away then.

Also, I checked your threads. In September 2018 you were seeking financial assistance here and you mentioned being a mother of 3. In another thread in November 2018 you mentioned having a 3-months old. In this thread, you mention being a family of 6, so between last yr and this year you just had another child. Idk why you keep having more kids when you're struggling financially?

And there is nothing that angers a man like a woman who is giving birth to more children when. They know the financial difficulties they are facing

kestolove95:
Divorce d modafucka nd move on with ur life, get a young guy as a sec toy...no time men are stupeed

Including your father.

bukatyne:


I see two issues:

1. You both are earning below the standard of living you have set for yourselves. In what ways is your husband trying to increase his earnings?

2. Do you have a written budget where you can track income with expenditure so you see where you can cut expenses (I know what you have is not enough however, that will reduce the mental stress on you).

3. You have the classic egoistic Nigerian husband. How do you navigate them? By apologizing when issues crop up whether you are wrong or not. Yorubas call that apology 'gba je n simi' or 'sorry, let me rest.'
So issues come up, it is quickly 'sweetheart, sorry, I did not mean it like that.', 'sorry, no vex' etc.

4. His spiritual life: what happened to the man that wanted to be a pastor? Just how you leaned on him for spiritual growth, you might need to return the favour now.

And good that you have to wisdom to avoid his blows since you are still willing to stay.

that number 4 is where u shook everything.
madam needs God now more than ever

HRHQueenPhil:

And there is nothing that angers a man like a woman who is giving birth to more children when. They know the financial difficulties they are facing

sorry to say
isn't the man responsible for the babies?
after the reading the entire text, the only thing that kept ringing in my mind is "poverty is a bastard"
even all the spirikoko wasn't real. Na poverty induced spirituality

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

Madam, I can see you have history of complaining about a lot of things on this forum. While it's not bad sharing your worries with others, always doing so might rob you of the personal responsibility you have to think about and solve your problems yourself. The married women here have their own marital battles. That they are not screaming out thier throat here isn't an indication all is well for them.

No perfect husband anywhere, and you're no perfect wife either. But just so you know, I believe there's something you do often your husband dislikes and would have complained about several time, but you keep doing it either deliberately or otherwise.

There's this adage, when a child cries pointing in a direction, look well and you'll find something of interest to the child there. When a man persistently is not happy with his wife, there's usually something the woman is doing or isn't doing that hurts him.

Bye and large, life is short, your kids will soon be adults and you'll both soon grow old. So make the best of your life by being happy and stop allowing somebody else determine that for you. Your complaining May soon land you in the Blossom of another man, who will take advantage of what you say about your marriage. He'll simply pretend to be everything you've told him your husband is not, and before you know it, your marriage is gone.

olabrinks:
Don’t marry for love marry for money. We have been saying this for centuries. Let them call you a goldigger, let them shame you, you will have the last laugh. What is a man, when he doesn’t have money? What can he do for you? What kind of husband will he be, and how can he provide for his future children? What is potiential, everybody in this world has potiential. You need to see monetary proof that he can lead a home. Think with your brain and not your heart, you will avoid many problems. You will grow to love a man who is a stable provider, you will grow out of love with a man who is a stable broke ass. This is not the generation of building with a man, if a man ain’t got money today, he will 90% not have tomorrow. At least when the man gives you problems (which is 100% certain), you will have stability in regards to finances which is One less problem to deal with. A word is enough for the wise.

To think that 32 fools liked this shit is a threat to marriages in Nigeria

yak:


sorry to say
isn't the man responsible for the babies?
after the reading the entire text, the only thing that kept ringing in my mind is "poverty is a bastard"
even all the spirikoko wasn't real. Na poverty induced spirituality

boss, even an illiterate woman knows what to do to make sure she dosent have plenty children. It is all up to her

Mstick:
Hmmmmmmm this one is tough, a broke man with ego is more dangerous than a rattle snake.

veave:
Hian.

Wetin I go talk go pain you o. But na the truth I go tell you. Madam, right now I can't tell you to start with 50% so I will say 20%.

Thank God there is covid and I pray your job doesn't get affected. As soon as you resume, the second day you get to work tell him there has been a 40% reduction from your salary due to low inflow of cash. You need to save at least 20% of your salary. This money no Matter if the roof is falling down you're not to touch it. Na your back up money be that. The other 20% is for your upkeep. You and your kids should survive on the remaining 50% because you'd definitely pay tithe. It's because he knows you always have a back up plan that is why he is relaxed and allowing you foot all the bills.
No this kain thing make me say I no go marry "brother" when I dey small. Most of them are lazy and are dreamers. They expect manner to fall from heaven after their praying and fasting forgetting Paul had a handiwork that sustained him all through his life hence he didn't have to beg and depend on anyone. I no dey like this kind jist. He's not even appreciative of his supportive wife. I know women who use all their money to buy shoes, clothes and the latest asoebi, their husbands dare not say pim because they'd even take his own and join.

No madam please read again. The man pays RENT and CHILDREN SCHOOL FEE. The woman only maintain household expenses.

HRHQueenPhil:
boss, even an illiterate woman knows what to do to make sure she dosent have plenty children. It is all up to her

she might be a church girl wey no too shine eye. All the same, I see poverty at work... nothing hurts a man like not being able to foot his bills. I get a bit hot when cash isn't at hand but I thank God that my wife knows how to handle such situations

bukatyne:


Nobody likes it.

Infact, most humans don't like to apologize for what they did talk more of something not done.

Let's look at the OP's situation:

1. She is married to a typical 'Nigerian' husband with ego, entitlement, think they deserve worship, unwilling to invest in the good of the marriage et AL.

2. This particular strain keeps malice whenever there is a misunderstanding (never mind who is wrong) till she apologizes

3. For some reasons, his malice gets to her.

4. She is NOT ready to leave the marriage as at today, nobody knows tomorrow.

5. From points 1 to 4 above, the onus is on her to try and create an atmosphere relatively peaceful because she cannot ignore him.

6. When I say apologize, it is not the heartfelt I realize I am wrong type. It is the sorry, let me rest type.

Just how we do 'Bros nor vex, where is the road to the abbattoir' or 'sorry, are you the last on the queue/ is there any one behind you?'

In the Scenario above, you are not sorry for anything, it is however an ice breaker.

So also her husband starts, it is 'daddy X, abeg no vex, I did not see it that way' or 'I am sorry you felt that way'.

You are not even apologizing for what you did however for the way other person feels.

We must learn to focus on what we can control and move on.

In other words, a dishonest apology. a very temporary solution to a permanent problem. Something to hold the fragile union until the next inevitable episode rears it's ugly head.

I beg to differ. Two adults are married, the two adults must be able to communicate freely without fear, express themselves clearly and honestly. If that is missing, the union is a sham. Soon the pressure will mount and the dam will break. How can a spouse be walking on egg shells in his or her own home? You know how many of young people have HBP now? The darn country is so hard right now and I will not live in a home without peace of mind. A home is a home because it guarantees my escape from the madness of the world. It is supposed to be my sanctuary.

Do you know why I believe you wholly? It's because this is exactly what am passing through.Had to backup mine with a research and found out it's a personality disorder known as NARCISSIM.
my husband dont even want to see me happy,he makes sure he keeps me sad and feeling miserable.

Nwodosis:
It is obvious you are not the talking type but the writing type, we have read your version, how do we get your husband's version? There is no smoke without fire!

More fire to your wisedom...

veave:
Hian.

Wetin I go talk go pain you o. But na the truth I go tell you. Madam, right now I can't tell you to start with 50% so I will say 20%.

Thank God there is covid and I pray your job doesn't get affected. As soon as you resume, the second day you get to work tell him there has been a 40% reduction from your salary due to low inflow of cash. You need to save at least 20% of your salary. This money no Matter if the roof is falling down you're not to touch it. Na your back up money be that. The other 20% is for your upkeep. You and your kids should survive on the remaining 50% because you'd definitely pay tithe. It's because he knows you always have a back up plan that is why he is relaxed and allowing you foot all the bills.
No this kain thing make me say I no go marry "brother" when I dey small. Most of them are lazy and are dreamers. They expect manner to fall from heaven after their praying and fasting forgetting Paul had a handiwork that sustained him all through his life hence he didn't have to beg and depend on anyone. I no dey like this kind jist. He's not even appreciative of his supportive wife. I know women who use all their money to buy shoes, clothes and the latest asoebi, their husbands dare not say pim because they'd even take his own and join.

It's now the order of the day and its most unfortunate.I pity for a lot of women as most men go into marriage especially these days with Evil & Very Wicked intentions/written scripts,They see & treat their wives as fools,they draw plans with their wife's money,make sure they scatter her relationship with her family (her parents & siblings) for easy/smooth manipulations with out any sort of interference. intimidate such women at all times,always shouting fears into them,they make sure they reduce such wives into rags,succeed in destroying their self confidence,make sure she doesn't have a dime,no good hair,clothes,always looks rough/frustrated. she carters for the man & d kids. And such men are always lazy & intentionally don't want to do anything.
I still wonder why a lot of women allows such nonsense.
I know first hand of over 6-10 of such cases.
Women the earlier u stop making such useless men feel important,the better for you

NwanyiOkpa:



No. You chose the one that is serious about marrying you.

Tell yourself the truth

Your unsolicited and inconsequential opinion.

ATTENTION:

Social media is not the best place to bring your problems to. You will get the kind of answers social media gives. Look for a private counselor and talk to, look for a small radical spiritual group and join, you can tell them, this is what a friend is going through.... that way, they will be blunt in discussing it with you.

If, however, you feel like talking it about it privately without cost (apart from a bottle of mortuary standard Goldberg), then you can send me a whatsapp on 08034157602, and we will talk.

Cheers and may the Lord keep you