Prymestrr:
Call me a sissy if you wish but I've a strong prejudice for marriage and hope to avoid it throughout my life Godwilling.

**bookmarked**

Marriage isn't just all.about you, partner or kids.
We all need someone
You don't have to be married before you have a partner
Marriage is just a form of respect

tunmiluabi:




Yes, you are correct... up to date I cant tell what happened .

I am so sorry OP for what you had to go through may you find healing.


Things can go haywire in any marriage, one might have even married the best/right partner and things can still go wrong and it doesn't necessarily mean they didn't marry the right person.

I believe marriage requires lots of work and lots of prayers even if it was God that told us that partner is the best for us.

Read again
You highlighted just one part and refused to move to the next line.

I cant with you please.
Na dem.

Obingene:


You people and money, are you people totally useless without money? Because I am not and never been.

Come on, there is more to life now. I studied Economics and many a times, I have broken this thing called money. It's a reward for value, it's also a means to an end and there are so many factors that determine its availability or scarcity.

I'm tired hearing about money issues everytime. Haba! It's that why you came to earth? To make money and just leave?

Listen everyone, if money is the main resource you have to offer people, then you are just like a candle in d wind, you will be blown out soon and forgotten.

Finally, if anyone disrespects you because of money, walk away from that person.

The circular flow of income shows that money can never be at a place at a particular time, more so, now we have leaders to hoard and keep wealth meant for everyone to themselves.

I conclude with this, if as a guy or a lady, you know you would disrespect your spouse in eventuality that they become broke, please don't marry, or better still, leave the relationship.

Leave and find your pot of gold.

Dyt:


**bookmarked**

Marriage isn't just all.about you, partner or kids.
We all need someone
You don't have to be married before you have a partner
Marriage is just a form of respect

Better to have a partner and leave it at that than to make her a wife. That way it's easy to walk and never look back when the crazy starts. No divorce, no careless fights, no stress what so ever.

Obingene:
Hian!!

Cold shivers ran down my spines as I read this.

I'm so not enthusiastic about marriage anymore.

Just because of one mismanagement up there. If water kill your child....will you stop drinking water

life is strange and complicated. it is all politics.

Dear OP, I understand you perfectly. Women possesses the ability to bring out the monster in the meekest of all men. Your story just aroused my fears in life "being broke". The way a woman talks and calculate what she spends during a man's trying times can kill. Every contribution they make becomes an headline. You are very strong to wait that long. My life no hard, if I am not doing well enough or shit happened and I can't do well....any woman in my life can leave.

Prymestrr:
Call me a sissy if you wish but I've a strong prejudice for marriage and hope to avoid it throughout my life Godwilling.
My focus in life now is my self development and being a good father to my greatest achievement in life; my son. With him I am content. No more kids and definitely no wife if I can help it

Who will take care of you in your old age

OP, tunmi
When you had no job and she was providing were you assisting her with chores and childcare at least to make things easier for her and reduce stress or were you being bossy and expecting 24/7 complete submission from her?

Answer honestly.

I don't even trust marital stories on nairaland because the party telling the story will ALWAYS hide their own faults and magnify the wrongdoings of their partners

CHoccolaTE:


Who will take care of you in your old age

Myself Better to save and plan for my old age than depend on another human being who will use me as target practice for their weird fetish
Besides, my son would have been a made man in my old age

Prymestrr:

Myself Better to save and plan for my old age than depend on another human being who will use me as target practice for their weird fetish
Besides, my son would have been a made man in my old age

Its better you work extra hard towards making sure your son ends up as a rich man, because if not......hmmm
And pray hard that he outlives you

CHoccolaTE:
OP, tunmi
When you had no job and she was providing were you assisting her with chores and childcare at least to make things easier for her and reduce stress or were you being bossy and expecting 24/7 complete submission from her?

Answer honestly.

I don't even trust marital stories on nairaland because the party telling the story will ALWAYS hide their own faults and magnify the wrongdoings of their partners

I did all I could, but nothing I did was go enough.

CHoccolaTE:


Its better you work extra hard towards making sure your son ends up as a rich man, because if not......hmmm
And pray hard that he outlives you

Oh he's gonna be a wealthy man no doubt. And he'll outlive me too. The young bury the old where I'm from and not vice versa.

What I can deduce from his story is that his wife left no room for reconciliation because she was not remorseful for her actions. If she had shown remorse she would have called her family as well as his family and confess to them. They would have been the ones to reconcile them. But she seems to be enjoying her escapades and not willing to soft pedal. So there is no need for the OP to be fighting a lost battle. The best option for him was to move on and never to look back or give any chance of coming together. In most cases women like this will only remember their husband when they encounter a disastrous ending in their life. Thus they will begin to reminisce when things was working well and they would wish they can turn back the hands of the clock. But I love the fact that you have genuinely moved on. Don't rush into another relationship. Take your time and look before you leap. Also try and keep your mind open as much as possible so that you will not be shocked by human actions or reactions.

LuQuLuQu:


Don't tell me you believed this guy's bullish!t?

These issues are happening.

Dyt:


**bookmarked**

Marriage isn't just all.about you, partner or kids.
We all need someone
You don't have to be married before you have a partner
Marriage is just a form of respect

So you wouldn't mind a man having you as a partner better still babymama without doing the needful

faithfull18:

So you wouldn't mind a man having you as a partner better still babymama without doing the needful

I am not responsible for your thoughts ma'am

Dyt:


I am not responsible for your thoughts ma'am

I only expatiated on what you said

This is really pathetic,I pray never to be this of person to my husband when things go awry.

faithfull18:

I only expatiated on what you said

Good sense of reasoning you got there baby
I am proud of you

tunmiluabi:


Yes... Assessment must fair because its takes two to tango. You will never really know the truth of the matter. I know better now.

This can only come from someone with experience. That's why I laugh when I see single people giving marriage advice. It was something I used to do frequently but learnt that you can never really know the true nature of what people have been through, enjoyed and endured in a relationship as an outsider.

I admire your maturity.

Houseofglam7:
Marriage is truly overrated

Yes, marriage is truly overrated. Some people are lucky and get it right without so much effort while some struggle to get it right. Thousands, on the other hand, are just suffering and smiling. The spark is gone and reality has set in.

I don't think many people really sit down to think of the worst happening before setting out on this journey.

Such a sad story. Glad you are doing well.

See women are not good at paying a man's bills. We are not wired that way.

She starts seeing such a man as a child.

Once a man stops seeing the woman as his bread winner - the way will open for him like it opened for OP.

Young men get money! there is a financial clock for men.

OP, happy for you.

THE WIFE SURELY IS FROM SOUTH EAST OR SOUTH SOUTH MONEY IS THEIR GOD

Ybaby:
Such a sad story. Glad you are doing well.

See women are not good at paying a man's bills. We are not wired that way.

She starts seeing such a man as a child.

Once a man stops seeing the woman as his bread winner - the way will open for him like it opened for OP.

Young men get money! there is a financial clock for men.

OP, happy for you.

But this does not justify her infidelity

Ybaby:
Such a sad story. Glad you are doing well.

See women are not good at paying a man's bills. We are not wired that way.

She starts seeing such a man as a child.

Once a man stops seeing the woman as his bread winner - the way will open for him like it opened for OP.

Young men get money! there is a financial clock for men.

OP, happy for you.

lemme not talk.

Preferito:

But this does not justify her infidelity

Eventually all wives who pay all or some bills cheat. I am not saying it is good I am only stating the fact.

Wives who shelter thier husbands eventually become violent towards the husband.

See the bible knows what it was saying when it said a man who cannot provide is worse than an infidel... those wives may pretend to respect thier husband in his face but gossip their husbands to neighbours, family and friends letting them know they pay the Bills.

What OP experienced is even small. When a woman pays Bills she emasculates the man in front of him or behind him.... she will sha find a way to subliminally let the world know she wears the trouser.

Na so we see am. I pray for you that you are able to fully pay your household Bill's and kids bills if you add your wife's bill she will let the world know you are the MAN!

Sunny Ade said one man was made to escourt his wife to her boyfriend house.... na money cause am.

Man is on earth to pay Bill's, to work and uplift his family...... may all men be able to do this because the consequences of otherwise is severe.

An angel can become a witch if she is made to pay a man's bills

NoToPile:


I am so sorry OP for what you had to go through may you find healing.


Things can go haywire in any marriage, one might have even married the best/right partner and things can still go wrong and it doesn't necessarily mean they didn't marry the right person.

I believe marriage requires lots of work and lots of prayers even if it was God that told us that partner is the best for us.

Marriages are made in heaven and lived out on earth.

Ybaby:


Eventually all wives who pay all or some bills cheat. I am not saying it is good I am only stating the fact.

Wives who shelter thier husbands eventually become violent towards the husband.

See the bible knows what it was saying when it said a man who cannot provide is worse than an infidel... those wives may pretend to respect thier husband in his face but gossip their husbands to neighbours, family and friends letting them know they pay the Bills.

What OP experienced is even small. When a woman pays Bills she emasculates the man in front of him or behind him.... she will sha find a way to subliminally let the world know she wears the trouser.

Na so we see am. I pray for you that you are able to fully pay your household Bill's and kids bills if you add your wife's bill she will let the world know you are the MAN!

Sunny Ade said one man was made to escourt his wife to her boyfriend house.... na money cause am.

Man is on earth to pay Bill's, to work and uplift his family...... may all men be able to do this because the consequences of otherwise is severe.

An angel can become a witch if she is made to pay a man's bills

So what do you think about men/culture who think it is ok to 'disrespect' women because they pay the bills?

Oh well, most ladies get irritated when a man can no longer provide and they are the ones providing...


Good life lessons gotten from this though.


Many women marry not for love but what a man can provide so if he's unable to provide along the way, irritation sets in.

Obingene:


You people and money, are you people totally useless without money? Because I am not and never been.

Come on, there is more to life now. I studied Economics and many a times, I have broken this thing called money. It's a reward for value, it's also a means to an end and there are so many factors that determine its availability or scarcity.

I'm tired hearing about money issues everytime. Haba! It's that why you came to earth? To make money and just leave?

Listen everyone, if money is the main resource you have to offer people, then you are just like a candle in d wind, you will be blown out soon and forgotten.

Finally, if anyone disrespects you because of money, walk away from that person.

The circular flow of income shows that money can never be at a place at a particular time, more so, now we have leaders to hoard and keep wealth meant for everyone to themselves.

I conclude with this, if as a guy or a lady, you know you would disrespect your spouse in eventuality that they become broke, please don't marry, or better still, leave the relationship.

Leave and find your pot of gold.

Omg!
You took the words right out of my head.
These words are similar to what I commented on another thread.

Ybaby:


Eventually all wives who pay all or some bills cheat. I am not saying it is good I am only stating the fact.

Wives who shelter thier husbands eventually become violent towards the husband.

See the bible knows what it was saying when it said a man who cannot provide is worse than an infidel... those wives may pretend to respect thier husband in his face but gossip their husbands to neighbours, family and friends letting them know they pay the Bills.

What OP experienced is even small. When a woman pays Bills she emasculates the man in front of him or behind him.... she will sha find a way to subliminally let the world know she wears the trouser.

Na so we see am. I pray for you that you are able to fully pay your household Bill's and kids bills if you add your wife's bill she will let the world know you are the MAN!

Sunny Ade said one man was made to escourt his wife to her boyfriend house.... na money cause am.

Man is on earth to pay Bill's, to work and uplift his family...... may all men be able to do this because the consequences of otherwise is severe.

An angel can become a witch if she is made to pay a man's bills

Fact. Now this is the reality of many women funded homes, whether the funding is partly or fully, but it usually manifests more when the man is struggling.

I agree with you that a man must ensure that he is able to take financial care of his home.

For balance, my question is does the marriage vow, for better or worse, not mean anything to the women folk?

Is there no way for the finance-providing woman to be genuinely respectful and supportive of his man while the man finds a way to overcome his money travails?

Shouldn't women also begin to equip themselves with the resources and resilience to be able to withstand this kind of reversal of roles when their husband's financial circumstance begins to falter so as to save their marriage and their children are not raised in single parent homes? Is money all that counts?

Forgive me, I am just thinking out aloud. This problem of men losing financial power and women taking over family responsibility is becoming too rife and there seems to be no end in sight.

The family is under threat by this phenomenon.