SweetCunt97:
Don't be a self centered stingy man. Can't u imagine? Sibling you grew up with?

He can help out of his freewill, but not as a duty.
He didn't bring his siblings into this world.

SweetCunt97:
Yea people need to stop that. And the person over there should also ask. Say una dey abroad no mean say una no fit ask for what you need from us back home.

maybe when you are in your 20s .
As you get older you get wiser. Life is very simple.


Mind your business and let others mind theirs

easyflex:


You don't really understand how bills rack up in the U.S.

This is a peak into what expenses in a middle class home with 2 kids may look like.

Mortgage = $2100
Cable = $120
WiFi = $70
Phone bill = $80
Water/ sewage = $88
Electricity = $115
Gas(cooking ) = $28

Home insurance= $120
Healthcare insurance = $260
Car Insurance(2 cars) = $145
Home owners Association Dues = $85
Student Loans = $700

Feeding, Groceries, Gas (Petrol), Tolls and Miscellaneous = $400

Total = $4,300

That is approximately $52k yearly, without including taxes.

It may be lower or even higher depending on income, neighborhood, state or lifestyle.

I hope this helps you understand better.

Hmmm, OK.

salford1:

This is what I do. I have an amount I set aside for family back home.
Except, the occasional laptop or money for laptop request that I get and I politely declined with reasons.

Nice one Sir. Knowing we've got people who'd always ask us to give keeps us motivated to earn more.

sassysure:

See you acting like an elder

I be brossh now. Imagine if not for education, I suppose don get kid for university

omonnakoda:
maybe when you are in your 20s .
As you get older you get wiser. Life is very simple.


Mind your business and let others mind theirs

Truth b told these abroad relatives won't let we here be.. And their call no dey finish. Stories upon stories.

P.S We igbos got this family tie we do not neglect when we travel out. It's all about family. An igbo man will firstly build a good house in his father's compound before anything.

SweetCunt97:
He's an extravagant fellow biko. Patapata 500 dollars will go for monthly bills, 300 to send down to peeps here... Unless he has an ongoing project o.

Haha. 500 dollars pere?
Except that person is an homeless person.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

You spoilt your write up with the last part of extending your life span. What is the life expectancy of Nigerians? Is it up to 60? Go and check that of US, Canada and other westerncountries. Nigerians need to know that some people traveled out just to have that good life and live like a normal human being and not the kind of jaga jaga life we have in Nigeria. Until you sleep without the noise from your gen, bikes and until you stay with power for months and years without a blink in power you won't still realize why some people decide to go.

Seems like we are running out of news

salford1:

Haha. 500 dollars pere?
Except that person is an homeless person.

For real? Oh well, atleast you guys are enjoying what you paying for.

bilulu:

You spoilt your write up with the last part of extending your life span. What is the life expectancy of Nigerians? Is it up to 60? Go and check that of US, Canada and other westerncountries. Nigerians need to know that some people traveled out just to have that good life and live like a normal human being and not the kind of jaga jaga life we have in Nigeria. Until you sleep without the noise from your gen, bikes and until you stay with power for months and years without a blink in power you won't still realize why some people decide to go.

Noise of gen is good

You no talk noise of Mountain of Fire and Brimstone
The truth is as a supermarket security guard on close to minimum wage you have a quality of life that some doctors in Nigeria don't have

eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.


2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

Thank you my brother. Tell this young generation who thinks migrations is the solutions to theirs problems. When i said that i relocated back to Nigeria after about 35years in U.S. They called me frustrated returnee, not knowing that some Nigerians will love to relocate to their father's one day. I was lucky to have traveled when i was 19years old.These wannabes do not know what an average Nigerian go through in U.S. or Canada. This is why i advise Nigerians who are doing fine financially in Nigeria to stay put because it's easier to make money and maintain it in Nigeria than U.S. Make use of the opportunities that Nigeria has to offers. Chinese, Arabs and Indians see opportunities in Nigeria while most Nigerians see no 24/7 electricity, no good education, no good healthcare because they lack vision. They prefer slavery than freedom. Most Nigerians don't know that America is a journey of no returns, 90 to 95% of Nigerians in U.S. today will die and be buried over there. Because as time goes on, they will get older and will lack resource to relocate back to Nigeria. Their children will abandon them in the nursing home and that's when they start to regret their coming to America. This is American way, it is real if you get old in U.S. The thought of that forced me to plan for a dignified retirement in Nigeria.

smeag0l:
The complaint on nigerians here feeling that you must send money to them doesnt only apply to nigerians in diaspora. It also applies to nigerians that they feel are doing well here. I'm also posting to fault some of the things I've seen here. First, there's no where in the world where you pay 60% of your pay as tax. The highest I've seen is between 48-52% in some places in Europe and it applies to some levels of income. They run a progressive tax system in most European countries. Secondly, one can send money to someone abroad from Nigeria and ive done it a few times. Not everyone abroad have things going rosy for them.
Then, i want to ask nigerians in diaspora two questions. First, why do most nigerians that have been abroad for a while think everyone else living here in nigeria are never-do-wells and most of them tend to shun their nigerian friends? Secondly, what should be one's net income in nigeria for that person to abandon the idea of travelling abroad?I asked this last question because some of the friends I had while in the university and that are in the US now are asking me why I'm not making any efforts to come over and i usually tell them I'm wondering why I have to.

Of course, we know not everyone is struggling in Nigeria. I for example have 3 classmates that are directors in PwC, GE and Standard Chartered Bank respectively. They are doing very well. Imagine if I told these guys to abandon their work and move to obodo oyinbo, won't they call me enemy of progress

eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

I'm coming

salford1:

I be brossh now. Imagine if not for education, I suppose don get kid for university

Haaa, your child for don get one wey dey primary school making you a grandfather

He too won't go to school.
Thanks to education and enlightenment

easyflex:


This can be particularly painful.

I experienced it recently, after shelling (dashing) out $3k to assist in buying a ride for bolt / Uber.
Just a 1 line whatsapp msg saying, thank you I got the alert.
No feedback about the car until about 4 months later when he needed money again.

chaiiiiiiiiiii, abeg , I need your help , na small help , ejoo

[quote author=primeson1 post=90170040][/quote]

So you’re in Canada.

Klass99:


I can relate to this post. I had a school mate schooling and working in Russia. She often had to fall back on money contributed by her siblings in Naija to survive. She didn't stay back after school, she came home.

My own cousin returned from Australia, after his Masters. He said the system over there won't allow you live a very comfortable life. Everything is billed and taxed to a point where, you can hardly afford nice but expensive things for yourself.

He said most of the people he befriended had never been on a plane or travelled outside their states of residence, because by the time they are done paying bills, there's very little left for travel. Travelling for them, would mean a financial plan of 6 or 8 months ahead for that trip.

Do you know it's only in Africa we don't pay such bills or probably we try to cut corners, reason we are still were we re today. You make money in Nigeria without paying tax, you cut corners just to avoid that but in those countries the system has made it that you can't avoid tax, you must pay and that's what the government used in putting those beautiful cities in place and we start enjoying and admiring those cities from Nigeria. I live in Canada, and I pay my Bill's and taxes and I see what it's being used for so I'm happy to pay. At the end of the tax year you get your tax returns running into thousands of dollars. But what do we have back home? Another thing is people travel all in the name of traveling. Wetin you go find for Russia? I have friends in Australia, who re doing well. Nigerians need to drop the mentality of I'm traveling to become a millionaire overnight, it doesn't work that way. Canada for example, you work for every dollar you, no side gig or cutting of corners unlike Nigeria were we see illegal money before the month ends and do all sort of runs. You work legitly for all your dollars. You can do other business which will be taxed too.

johhnnie:


Before then, I dish washed for two days, did security for another month; having to stand up for 8 hours straight on etc.

That dishwashing thing, I don't know how people survive on that job. I took a job of dishwashing once on a Manchester United match day. I did half of the shift before I quit. The polish supervisor said I won't get paid for the half shift I did. I told them to keep the money. That job is haaaard. You wont even know who is the real machine between you and the dish washer you are feeding plates.

HeavenlyHolines:
The issue of staying or living n making it abroad is just God's grace, favour and hard work because u can b in UK n not b OK,u can be in US n b USeless. Some persons will stay here for years n still will b like a puppets in Nigeria. As long as all fruit can't grow in one country, so making it abroad is not for everyone. Pray so that God will show u where u belong like Isaac in the bible so that ur case wouldn't b like Naomi n her family. Shalon

While I won't object the grace of God in making it in life, let me still point it to you that you can actualize all your dreams if you have clear cut plans. You can't just make it if you do not have set goals and work towards them.

Making it in life doesn't require one sitting dormant without upgrading one self. God will only support you if you take action to make life good for yourself.

That's why even the Bible said; faith without action is nothing. You must back up your faith with action. That simply means you must upgrade yourself. You must always look out for new opportunities. You must acquire well sort after skills. Nothing comes by luck without an atom of work behind it.

When God sees that you are doing all you can to make life comfortable for yourself, only then he will come in to make things easy for you. So that a journey that will take you 5yrs to achieve, you will end up achieving it within just 3yrs. That's where the grace of God comes in.

In essence, one must take action for God's grace to locate him. A dormant person that refuses to work or upgrade himself positively, no amount of the grace of God will be sufficient to make life better for such person because he refuses to work or upgrades himself.

If one doeasn't take action, mannas will not fall from heaven for such a person on a platter of gold.

johhnnie:



I almost cried reading this. I made a fatal mistake of giving my contacts out in the first two years.

Please believe this, after about 3 years, I had a cause to send my bank statement to my account officer and she said I could get my statement my the bank app on my phone. I never realized this was possible.

So, out of curiosity, I decided to download my statement for the three years prior. What I found out brought tears to my eyes. I was weak. In three years at that time I discovered I had transferred at 27m ( twenty seven millions) in naira to my account in Naija over that period. And at least 96% of that money given out to friends and families.

No new investment whatsoever.

I also remembered that during thesame period, at the earlier stage, I needed money. So, a cousin helped me to sell my uncompleted (80% completed) student mini- hostel on a 4 plots of land unluckily at that time when $ was 500. Only a fraction of that money got to me here. A lot of hands dipped into the money that he became useless by the time it for here.

I work alot here. Sometimes, 3 straight days observing just an hour long rest from driving ( by the highway or anywhere the need need Forrest met me on the road). There was a time I slept in the car for a month. Before then, I dish washed for two days, did security for another month; having to stand up for 8 hours straight on etc.

Sometimes, going on for days without eating or bathing. All I would do was to enter a McDonald etc early morning to use my inner shirt to wipe my body. Smelling like rat. So haggardly looking and insane. Brushing by the side of the road.

It was really bad. Phone calls from my Naija kept coming with all sorts of demands; friends, families both know and unknown. Worst part, nobody contributed a dime for my travel. I had to sell my plot of land behind my personal house in ibadan to add up money.

It became crazy when I see people I send money to celebrating birthdays online with friends and family. Some take to club floors for celebrations. I also discovered that people I was sending money to in support of their businesses were building their houses without my knowledge. Here I am living in one room apartment. Sharing toilet, bathroom and tiny kitchen compared to what I had in my private residence in Naija.

I didn't know that all those 5k 100k 3k, 200k etc and even airtime top-ups from my boss revolution to Naija phone numbers were grossly adding up.

It's a lesson I learnt the hard way. You would think that the request would soon stop. It never will. There would always be requests. Some genuine and some made-up.

You finally woke up. That was my own reality as well. I see Nigerians complaining about poverty everyday and they all want to come abroad and expect you to send them money.

But when you study this people complaining of poverty, they seem to be living large.

Party, drinks, pepper soup, lots of free time.

He tire me sha

eazzzy1:


Lol. Nobody makes $100,000 and ends up with $40,000 after deductions. Anyway this is not a homebased vs diasporan thread. How do you cope with the people abroad making financial request?

It's like the guy they beef abroad people.

Really need a serious person to partner with to make up to 100k monthly... only serious minded people .
Who ever is interested should join group chat below or drop Whatsapp number_https:///JG9KYpnvuDmEW8CqDoN6SD

EgunMogaji2:


I returned after 33 years continuously in the USA and some characters attacked me for it.

I’m living my best life I Nigeria now, I have a better quality of life here in Ibadan than I did in the USA.

Those that don’t like my happiness should remember that Asejire Adam is never locked

I remember that dam anytime I am on my way to my university back then

bukatyne:


Way better is relative.

The growing trend is that a number of people around me send their families abroad and sponsor them from Nigeria.

Also 'helping' people as you have put it has ruined a lot of other people.

People should learn how to cut their cloth according to their material and reach out to others when there is an emergency.

In my case, when I was leaving for Canada, I set up a business, with the intention to take care of domestic expenses in Nigeria with the income from that business, an investment of over 8 million naira, because I don't want to be sending money home from the abroad. As I write this, that business is in shambles. They ruined it the moment I hoped into the plane. I'm just trying to revive it again because I can't allow it to just die like that, it will be a great loss to me. My wife and I are always fighting over this matter because she advised me against is in the first place. Now, tell me, would you blame me if I decided not to send money home to anyone? Yet I still do. I know how much the four weeks Covid-19 lock down in Lagos cost me in terms of Canadian Dollars, and I have not been working since 3rd of April due to Corona.


The poster that was talking about people in abroad asking for money from Nigerians back home doesn't know what he's talking about. He thinks we are talking about people in Libya, because I have a couple of guys in Libya then whose family send money to them from Lagos.

We are talking about a society where the government takes good care of their citizen and PRs: I earn 2,236CAD every month, for the past two months, for staying at home and keeping safe; my wife, who is on a 28,000CAD OSAP grants per session as a full time student, is also receiving 2000CAD every month due to Covid-19; my two children receives 600CAD each every month; and as a couple we get 400CAD for Goods Sales Tax- GST (Nigeria's equivalent of VAT); Associations of Nigerians in Milton opened a food bank where you can go and get food stuffs and groceries; RCCG Milton organized a drive through sharing of food; what else do you want?

drmikeadams:
[ gist us nah ,,,I swear I get smoke wey I go giv u make ur bp no go up walai

I Save it for another day!

Very valid points raised Op.

I have many friends and family members living abroad, anytime we are communicating, I don't even bother asking for any financial help because I understand the situation over there.

Even one of my brother who lives and works in Qatar hardly dashes money whenever he's on holiday in Nigeria, even to the extent of borrowing ticket fare from friends here in Nigeria whenever he's going back promising to repay after some months.

lekki1444:
in sweden you will end up with 40k

Those Scandinavian countries are over the top.

Millenniumlady:
Find someone else maybe those emeka US or NEDU canada biko help me to connect with one of them i don't want to marry the guys here there not my type help a sister please

This a serious matter ohhh ,abeg make una help our sister

easyflex:


You don't really understand how bills rack up in the U.S.

This is a peak into what expenses in a middle class home with 2 kids may look like.

Mortgage = $2100
Cable = $120
WiFi = $70
Phone bill = $80
Water/ sewage = $88
Electricity = $115
Gas(cooking ) = $28

Home insurance= $120
Healthcare insurance = $260
Car Insurance(2 cars) = $145
Home owners Association Dues = $85
Student Loans = $700

Feeding, Groceries, Gas (Petrol), Tolls and Miscellaneous = $400

Total = $4,300

That is approximately $52k yearly, without including taxes.

It may be lower or even higher depending on income, neighborhood, state or lifestyle.

I hope this helps you understand better.

Great analysis.

omonnakoda:



Noise of gen is good

You no talk noise of Mountain of Fire and Brimstone
The truth is as a supermarket security guard on close to minimum wage you have a quality of life that some doctors in Nigeria don't have

Nigerians don't know the kind of low life they live until they step out of the country. They feel they re the highest. They will tell you how people re living on loans abroad but they have forgotten how people back home run from microfinance to another loan house looking for money upandan. Nigeria were person go buy 2003 car in 2020 and tell you I just buy new car.

gypsey:
see you! so you are still here chasing after men?

Gysey hapu maka saving for my future