₦airaland Forum

omoharry:
That was well said.
I was only pressured about marriage when my parent were still alive and I almost got married to the the wrong person due to pressure. I really wanted to honor my parents, becos they were wonderful to me and I was worried ( becos I am the last child )they were getting old and I really wanted them to be there to give me away when the time comes but death came anyway .
After thier death , that was it. I told myself that I owe society nothing ,absolutely noting ..This is my life and I want to be happy .So I decided to focus on my life and how to be very successful financially in order to prepare for my future & a comfortable retirement plan .

I intend to adopt a child when I am very comfortable and show love to that child all the way .I have always thought about adopting since I was in school...I had always felt I should take from the population of neglected children and make a life meaningful, rather than add to it . If I fall in love, then so be it , but if not , I would rather remain single than marry just becos I want to please our sadistic society .

I have been independent since I graduated from the university and I am quite content with the little I have .I I feel very uncomfortable depending on another person for my needs and I can live without a man for a very very long time without missing them at all. What bothers me each day whenever I wake up, is how to start my business & be successful.That is all.

Pls ladies, let the men be. Leave them alone.Be your own woman, if they offer to get you anything , reject it and tender your credit card to purchase those things yourself . Do not rely on them for any thing and do not offer them sex just becos you want to please them ..Do it becos you want it and you will never regret it even if the relationship does not work out.

Be your own woman .Work very hard and engage your time and energy in making our society a better place . There are so many things that requires our attention in the society , be an advocate for a course or a project that can shape our society positively .Volunteer your time and energy to things that matters most to you and not what society want from you.Be happy, love yourself very much and look at the world in a different light .The world is a beautiful place and its beyond the restricted world our society has conditioned women to be in .

I am sick and tired of men calling women all manner of names becos of what we can easily afford ourselves . Leave these men and thier money alone .Let them use it to patronize call girls and some ladies that are always ready to be thier bitch .
Be a woman of substance ...Be a happy person and they will beg to be part of your world

Deep words.

omoharry:
That was well said.

Be your own woman .Work very hard and engage your time and energy in making our society a better place.

Be a woman of substance ...Be a happy person and they will beg to be part of your world

How can you quote a long ass post and end up giving an equally long ass comment? It made it look like one of those 4500 worded WAEC English essays that no one actually reads

But I did read yours, so no worries.

And I love your comment. You expressed my exact thoughts whenever topics like this come up. Kudos to you for striving to make a change in the narrative in your own little way.



Sha, I wanted to tell you this though.
I hope you know your comment is exactly what a feminist believes about having money. Are you one?

Zzor:
No,ive not eaten since last year

Ok...I have somtin big u can it actualy

professore:
I particularly like your conclusion.

Ta. Yeah if U wanna be with more than one person why even be in a relationship. Ion understand that

LINTUNE:
when we have wife's that feels giving thier husband sex is a big favour, wht do u expect men to do...so a well to do , handsome guy will now be little himself to beg for sex, from his wife?, its not possible na, the wife ought to know that her hubby is a hot cake outside.....

Yeah a wife shouldn't use sex as a tool or act as if it's a favour to her husband.
He shouldn't have to ask or beg. It should just come naturally.
It should be something they enjoy together n do constantly
When U get Ur man, U must love him n be attracted to him to have married him yeah...so how can U not wanna screw him non stop lol. Or is that just me?
My hubby is lucky if other girls aren't like me cos he never has to ask.
Hell, I'm the one constantly wanting him

Any girls reading this; if U dnt want a cheating hubby then dnt deny him sex.
Especially if it's a constant thing U do.
U should be eating your man up Wella Wella, Afterall he is your man yeah?!!
There's nothing sexier than making your man hot for you n seeing how much he wants you.
Be everything a man could want(not just for him but for yourself too) be perfect wife material and be everything he wants in bed and your man will cherish U the more n shouldn't feel the need to cheat. Give him every reason to want U n love you. N only you.

luminouz:
Are u fuqin serious right now

How can I be iceyjayz

Chai!! Luminouz has entered your brain so deep you dont even see reality again.

I dont do alternates...how many times I go tell you that na?

Leave that girl, she's extremely dumb
just leave her alone, once you keep replying her you are fueling her attention the more.

Mrscarter:
Yeah a wife shouldn't use sex as a tool or act as if it's a favour to her husband.
He shouldn't have to ask or beg. It should just come naturally.
It should be something they enjoy together n do constantly
When U get Ur man, U must love him n be attracted to him to have married him yeah...so how can U not wanna screw him non stop lol. Or is that just me?
My hubby is lucky if other girls aren't like me cos he never has to ask.
Hell, I'm the one constantly wanting him

Any girls reading this; if U dnt want a cheating hubby then dnt deny him sex.
Especially if it's a constant thing U do.
U should be eating your man up Wella Wella, Afterall he is your man yeah?!!
There's nothing sexier than making your man hot for you n seeing how much he wants you.
Be everything a man could want(not just for him but for yourself too) be perfect wife material and be everything he wants in bed and your man will cherish U the more n shouldn't feel the need to cheat. Give him every reason to want U n love you. N only you.

u are wise..im sure u not nigerian..

LINTUNE:
u are wise..im sure u not nigerian..

No is just wat I believe in n yes I'm nigerian. I just lived abroad for a while n got to see how different things can be but am back home now.

Sixfeetbelle:
How can you quote a long ass post and end up giving an equally long ass comment? It made it look like one of those 4500 worded WAEC English essays that no one actually reads

But I did read yours, so no worries.

And I love your comment. You expressed my exact thoughts whenever topics like this come up. Kudos to you for striving to make a change in the narrative in your own little way.



Sha, I wanted to tell you this though.
I hope you know your comment is exactly what a feminist believes about having money. Are you one?

Hahaha!! I was so carried away by the passion of the topic without realizing that writing I am already writing a book.. Abeg nor vex. .
I am not a feminist but I am for women's liberation .

Zzor:
Most Nigerian men have this mentality that a good woman should not like money, she should be ready to suffer with them (they will maltreat her after the money comes), she should also not see anything wrong with cheating as long as they are providing for the family.

Why must a woman undergo all these before she can be tagged a good woman? Is she your mother?

As you market.your tohtoh reach for here, shey customer never still dey enter ni?

You can try inmessage & wechat too o, because all of us for here don know say na puna you dey sell. If we want to buy we go buzz you...no dey open stupid threads up and down e don do!

Why do y'all tag hard working men broke? A guy that works really hard needs a decent enough woman not any woman who feels entitled. If you want a man to not call you entitled, work for your money with your head and not your body parts. I'll spend on any woman when I get to that point, but not on any woman with no contribution or vision whatsoever.

Mrscarter:
Ta. Yeah if U wanna be with more than one person why even be in a relationship. Ion understand that

help me tell them.

Iceyjayz:
Leave that girl, she's extremely dumb
just leave her alone, once you keep replying her you are fueling her attention the more.

Ok bro

I have come to the conclusion that men are scared of each other and that's why they will rather side with bullshit than call one another out.
You all must really be brave to try to erase a woman who really did exist from history. What other reason than your hatred for women .
Don't quote me you are not a mad man.

omoharry:
Hahaha!! I was so carried away by the passion of the topic without realizing that writing I am already writing a book.. Abeg nor vex. .
I am not a feminist but I am for women's liberation .

Same difference.

But kudos, none the less.

Mrscarter:
I think if you're only dating then the guy shouldn't have to buy every little thing for her. If he buys her something it should be because he wants to give her a gift or make her feel special. But ion think the guy should be responsible for everything especially if they only been dating a short amount of time. If I was a guy that would turn me off. But once Ur married a man should support his wife but she shouldn't expect more than he can afford(I know girls who do this n put alot of stress on the guy) if they been dating a long time it's fair I think that the guy spends on U to some extent if he wants you to have things n U can't afford them yourself.
But never should us girls act like we are entitled to his money, we don't work for it we didn't earn it. Especially if he's a decent guy n faithful n all. If your man us broke but he's a good guy in every other way then inspire n motivate him to work hard n find a way to make money. Build him up n give him faith in himself n stand by him the same as U would if he were rich. Giving him the confidence he needs n motivation n you can be surprised what he could accomplish. And he will love you the more for it and be faithful n loyal to you n guys always remember that kinda thing. Good guys do. He will work harder to build a better life for you aswell as himself.
Dating guys for petty things like money for hair and iPhones and all that stuff that's just taking what you didn't earn. I prefer to have my own money n have no reliance on a man n that way our relationship doesn't have anything to do with money n we can enjoy the things that relationships are meant to be about.
But that's just wat I think.
As for cheating that's a deal breaker for me. ion see the point in being in a relationship if U want other ppl than Ur partner. Ur in a relationship for love n if U love someone how can U even think of someone else. Ion understand that.

Apt and Concise.
I must Confess Beloved, you made my Day.
You killed it!

Infact, can we get married?
���

IvyGRush:
Apt and Concise.
I must Confess Beloved, you made my Day.
You killed it!

Infact, can we get married?
���

Lol. Am already recently married.

professore:
help me tell them.

Yeah ppl are always who cheats most men or women. But it's not a gender thing cos both do it.
Is more of an individual thing. A choice one makes.
Is pointless being in a relationship n trying to build a connection if U only bringing other ppl into the mix.
It just confuses things, causes mess n drama n hurt.
Ppl should grow outta that kinda thing by the time we reach 20yo

Mrscarter:
Yeah ppl are always who cheats most men or women. But it's not a gender thing cos both do it.
Is more of an individual thing. A choice one makes.
Is pointless being in a relationship n trying to build a connection if U only bringing other ppl into the mix.
It just confuses things, causes mess n drama n hurt.
Ppl should grow outta that kinda thing by the time we reach 20yo

well said maam, but we don't even need to reach 20 before doing what is right, then again I don't believe relationship is for someone under 20 in the first instance.

professore:
well said maam, but we don't even need to reach 20 before doing what is right, then again I don't believe relationship is for someone under 20 in the first instance.

Yeah in your teens Ur younger n more prone to making silly choices n are more immature n by your 20s U should have learned from those mistakes n the hurt they can cause etc.
Some ppl are already sensible n do what's right at such a younger age but I find most ppl make bad choices n stuff.

Mrscarter:
Yeah in your teens Ur younger n more prone to making silly choices n are more immature n by your 20s U should have learned from those mistakes n the hurt they can cause etc.
Some ppl are already sensible n do what's right at such a younger age but I find most ppl make bad choices n stuff.

yes I understand you, but I'm of the opinion that teenagers are not supposed to be dating at all, not only to avoid all these mistakes but they are to be busy with studies or skill acquisition. Relationship is part of life and future also, but it is too early to engage in it as a teenager because their ignorance at this stage can cost them too much.

Mrscarter:
Lol. Am already recently married.

Interesting, isn't it?
From the way you write, I can guess your age.
You don't want to be regarded as a Child Bride � abi?

But on a serious note, I ent joking!!!

IvyGRush:
Interesting, isn't it?
From the way you write, I can guess your age.
You don't want to be regarded as a Child Bride � abi?

But on a serious note, I ent joking!!!

I believe you. Na I can't upload mine n my husbands personal stuff up here on a public forum. He's a nairalander aswell.

Mrscarter:
I believe you. Na I can't upload mine n my husbands personal stuff up here on a public forum. He's a nairalander aswell.

OK, would sit to enjoy and appreciate the maturity in you from afar.
I just hope you keep holding on and don't derail someday. What Dad told you would never be shut at any point in time. So keep the fire burning right and read your books and bible religiously.

IvyGRush:
OK, would sit to enjoy and appreciate the maturity in you from afar.
I just hope you keep holding on and don't derail someday. What Dad told you would never be shut at any point in time. So keep the fire burning right and read your books and bible religiously.

Thanks. Yeah someday soon you may see our pics up on here. I dnt read the bible as much as I should but occasionally I do.
U take care ok

How about you follow your heart when it comes to love and be financially independent so you can fall in love with whoever life blesses you with, without relying on your partner's plan to live and survive.
Life is short and unpredictable but still beautiful when you are self sufficient.
Think about it that way ���

Zzor:
Most Nigerian men have this mentality that a good woman should not like money, she should be ready to suffer with them (they will maltreat her after the money comes), she should also not see anything wrong with cheating as long as they are providing for the family.

Why must a woman undergo all these before she can be tagged a good woman? Is she your mother?

why do most girls think that her man will maltreat her if money comes? We want you to like hard work and dedication and make ur money and be a part of the success story of the family...not a leech

PoliticallyInco:
It is a lack of fundamental understanding of human psychology and the hypocritical denial of what is right and wrong because of economic and societal gender inequality. BOTH SEXES ARE GUILTY OF THIS.

From our ancestors in many species of hominids, and even early homo sapiens we originated from, the women were mainly minders of the offspring while the men went out to hunt. They take the risks and hunt, bring the kill home and then everyone eats. The women chose men based on how they could provide and cater for the family about to be raised. The women considered that pregnancy and child rearing was a risky affair hence the need for a strong and physically well to do male who could protect and provide during vulnerable times. He will kill game and bring it home to the woman. So instinctively, women choose men who are providers. Hence they want to be taken care of it is as simple as that. It is basic instinct.

However, this is 2020. The men must understand that based on instinct most women still think this way. They want to be taken care of. But brute strength is not what the women now seek or look out for in 2020. IT IS FINANCIAL STRENGTH THAT COUNTS NOW. With money almost everything is possible. So the women want a man that has money and will desire a man that has money. Most times it is when the money is there first that they now realize other things are missing. E.g. the man is not good in bed, the man is not caring, he is abusive etc.

Women too must also understand that this is 2020 and that the Sabre Tooth Tiger isn't around anymore. Hence they can and should go out and make ends meet. They need to be self sustaining and self sufficient. It is mental strength that counts now and not brute physical strength. THEY NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THEY CAN MAKE THIER OWN MONEY AND LIVE FINANCIALLY FREE. They go to school, get an education, think critically to set up a business by offering a service, or work in one and make their own money.

With respect to cheating, this a controversial topic. It is an individual thing. Some species are monogamous while many are polygamous. Humans are known to be polygamous mainly because they males derive pleasure from multiple sex partners. The males see the females as another game to chase and hunt. The more successful their hunting expedition is, the more it boosts their ego and creates satisfaction in form of high dopamine release. When another man chases their woman and gets her, it bruises the males ego that another male, a competitor, could win over their game and defeat them in their own territory and on their own tuft. This mainly has led to the promotion of the notion that Men can cheat but a woman should not. A cheating woman bruises the ego of the man so much that he looses self esteem. Meanwhile he enjoys cheating and the hunt for women. IT IS JUST HYPOCRITICAL DOUBLE STANDARDS.


Finally the traditional society,religion (created by man and promoted to keep men as leaders in the society), and other factors have made it in such a way that a woman must have a man and be married to be seen as complete. This was generally fostered by men who ruled most of these societies/communities. They made themselves the Grand Prize worth fighting and dying for, and the women too allowed this to go on for so long. "If you are not married as a woman at a certain age and stage in your life, you aren't complete" mentality. Marriage becomes a thing desired, covetted and prayed and fasted for by women. It becomes something they are shamed and afraid to leave regardless of how abusive the man is. The men have gotten it into their brains that they are even doing the women favours by removing the shame of being unmmaried from them. The society has pressed it into the brain of a woman that their role is to please and serve the man regardless of what he does wrong. Secondly the society has been discriminatory against women in many ways when it comes to employment, economic opportunities etc.

Unfortunately women will continue to be in this "prison" and "slavery" unless:

1. They start being financially independent
2. They remove that "I must marry" mentality
3. They stop seeing sex as a favour to a man
4. They chase their own goals and dreams and decide their future.
5. They stop seeing men as a prize they have won. Afterall they will mostly be doing the cleaning, child rearing, cooking, etc.

This is the smartest post I have read in naira land...

I need to bookmark this and turn it to a kindle book...

There is no way that I would ever date a woman that is interested in my money because I would know that she will not be independent and I would have to spend so much money on her and that is something that most men don't want to do.

A good woman can be interested in money but what the men actually mean is that a good woman should not be interested in the mens money but rather work to make her own money. That's the whole idea.

It's Africa's mentality, not only here in Nigeria. Even in latin america where there cultures mixed with Africans during those days of slave trade have the same mentality!

It was after two in the morning and Vicki Larson was feeling no pain as she flew down the highway at over eighty miles an hour. She ignoredthe speed limit signs as they changed from 50 to 40 to 30 miles per hour upon entering the small town of Buford. Her foot stayed smashed on the gas pedal in total disregard for her safety or that of any unlucky passerby. Yes, she had had too much to drink and shouldn't have been driving, but she had told her husband, James, she would be home by midnight. Already two hours late. He was going to be furious.This wasn't the first time she had come home late from a company business function. She had lost count of the number of times. It had become a major bone of contention between them. She knew he was beginning to suspect that she was having an affair, and although it wasn't true, she sometimes wished it were. Her love life, or what there was of it, had become boring. If James didn't want her, she knew she could have the pickof almost any man in her office. Yet she had resisted their attempts to entice into bed, as difficult as that had been.Although she and James got along pretty well, sex had become routine and far too infrequent. From her husband's subtle body language she believed he was bored as well. Unfortunately, theyhad never discussed it. It was obvious that James didn't have the same desire for her anymore. Maybe HE was having an affair, she thought, but why? She was only thirty-two and knew she still looked very good. She kept herself in shape and always dressed sexy—-maybe a littletoo sexy for the office though—-but James didn't seem to notice. Damn him!Suddenly, Vicky was awakened from her thoughtsby the sound of a siren. She looked in the mirror and saw the flashing red and blue lights of a police car."Shit!" she screamed pounding on the steering wheel in anger. She slowed the car, pulling to the curb. She sat with her hands on the wheel as she waited for the officer to approach ... she knew theroutine. Unfortunately, it wasn't the first time she had been pulled over. She already had five ticketsin just the past year for speeding. The last thing she needed was another ... especially with her having drank a few too many at the promotional party for her boss.She was startled when a black man, wearing civilian clothes opened the door of her car. She felt a bit of fear as he leaned over and said, "Ma am, would you mind stepping out of the car." Then she saw him flash open his badge. "Jamal Washington, Constable, City of Buford," the badgeread."Officer, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was speeding.""Ma am, please step out of the car. I clocked you doing eighty in a thirty-mile an hour speed zone. You could have killed yourself or some innocent citizen of Buford," Jamal said seriously. He had a slight Jamaica accent.Vicky had no choice but to get out of the car. As she put her feet on the ground and stood up she swayed and leaned back against the door."Ma'am, have you been drinking?""Uh — well, just one or two.""Just one or two? Then you won't mind taking a Breathalyzer.""Listen officer, maybe we can work something out." Vicky was thinking along the lines of a few extra dollars, donated to the local police fund. "I —I already have a few tickets and would really rather avoid another.""So we can add attempted bribery to your DWI and speeding charges," Jamal said. "Wait here." With that he took her license and went back to hiscar, where he keyed in her driver's license number. "Wow," he said when he saw the five tickets for speeding. When he came back to the car, he saw Vicky still leaning against the car in a slightly distorted angle. "I'm going to have to take you back to the station, Mrs. Larson. You're in no condition to drive.""Mrs. Victoria Talbot-Larson — of the Talbot family over in Talbot County," Vicky said, trying to impress him with the well-known family name."Doesn't matter who you are Mrs. Larson, you don't go eighty miles an hour in my town. Now areyou going to get into my patrol car willingly or do Ihave to put cuffs on you."Suddenly Vicky was very frightened. She was going to jail. If money to the police fund wouldn't work, maybe she would have to officer somethingmore immediate. With tears in her eyes she said,"Please Officer Washington, I'm sure we can cometo some agreement," Vicky said in her sexiest voice. She pushed her chest out toward Jamal, trying to emphasize her large breast, which were somewhat hidden by the modestly cut bodice of her dress. She suddenly wished she had worn something a little more revealing. But then she saw what she though was a bit of interest in his eyes and was encouraged. Still he led her to the police car and made her get in.As he got into the drivers side, Vicky said, "Why don't you have on a uniform?""I was off duty, coming home from a friend's party... if that is any of your business ma'am.""I was just curious," Vicky answered in a huffy tone. Nevertheless she was relieved that he had given a reasonable explanation for being dressed as a civilian. She had heard of guys driving around with fake police ID's, pulling women over and raping them.When they arrived at the small combination jail/courthouse/city hall, in downtown Buford—Buford didn't need much of a jail since there were only five hundred citizens—-Jamal helped Vicky out of the car and up the steps. He led her into the police station and asked her to step into one of only two cells in the tiny jail and closed thedoor.Vicky's heart began thumping in her chest at the metal against medal sound of the cell door closing. It was sinking in that she had been arrested. What a scandal it was going to be if this got to the Talbot county newspaper.When Jamal had locked the door he looked at Vicky. "Now, do you know how much trouble you're in, Mrs. Larson?" asked Jamal, staring through the bars at her. Before she could answer he continued, "You're record shows five tickets with ten points. Your license will be suspended attwelve points. Driving while intoxicated is four points alone and bribing an officer can get you jail time.""As a matter of fact, you just might get jail time when you go before the judge day after tomorrow." It was Saturday night and the Judge didn't hear traffic cases until Monday morning."Oh, God, Officer Washington, I'll do anything you ask if you just let me off this time," Vicky said with her voice cracking with emotions.Jamal shook his head and started to walk away, but then he paused. A sudden smile came to his dark face. He didn't normally do this, but Mrs. Larson was a very sexy lady. Who would know if he maybe accepted a little non-financial bribe? Hedidn't currently have a girlfriend and it had been a while since he had made love to a woman ... an especially long time since he had been with a gorgeous woman like this. He turned back around. "Well, what do you mean by 'anything', Mrs. Larson?"A flash of relief shot through Vicky. Maybe there was some hope to avoid a scandal. But just as quickly a flash of fear replaced it. Was she really willing to exchange sex for not going to jail? Whatwas she thinking? Yet, she couldn't go to jail; it would be so humiliating and her nasty mother-in-law would tell everybody that she had been right about her daughter-in-law all along. She wasjust not good enough for her little "Jimmy".Vicky took a deep breath. "Well, I ... uh, I could youknow, uh ... suck you," Vicky said, surprised that she was hearing the words come from her mouth."Hum, are you any good? I mean, I didn't know rich white chicks did that?""Uh ... well, I've done it before," she said, telling a little lie. She had sucked her husband off but only a few times."You don't sound that convincing," Jamal said and pretended to walk away."Wait," Vicky almost screamed in desperation. "I'll suck you and we can do other things too."Jamal smiled without Vicky seeing and turned back around. "Other things? So you'll let me Bleep you?"Uh ... yes ... but you have to use a ... a ... condom.""Sorry sweetie, don't use them. Besides, I'm too big anyway." Jamal laughed loudly. "Let me show you."Vicky watched with wide eyes as he l reached for the zipper of his jeans http://botemoda.com/2MA4