₦airaland Forum

When the guy says he has tested positive for HIV, the lady should respond, "Whew, that's a relief, I just found out I am positive too. We have nothing to lose and we can be free to stay together forever!"

I hope someone out there will see this post and respond. What do you ladies (and gentlemen) feel about a couple buying engagement rings from a pawn shop?

Ditto. Why would a man who cares for you want to saddle you with a huge responsibility and no accountability to you on his part? Sounds like he is playing on your emotions and race and culture have nothing to do with it.

I am new to this site and this is my first post. I am a 41 year old black American female and have dated a few Nigerians in the past. I have enjoyed the posts up to now and felt compelled to comment on the little I know of Nigerian friends. Many of the posters on this topic have discussed meeting Nigerians online and have professed their undying love for these persons. I too have an email friendship with a Nigerian man. As I stated before, I have dated Nigerian men in the past, this is my first online friend. I would advise any woman or man seeking an online friendship to exercise a little common sense and caution with online dating of any kind. Please, check out and verify as much about the person as possible online. If they say they are at a certain university or in a certain city, check the 'net and see if you can find anything that ties them to that place. If they claim to be in a country, have them send you a personal email from their personal account. Check the IP address of the email and see if they are located in that particular place. Love is wonderful, loneliness is terrible, but your safety and protection should be your first concern.

Take online dating of a man in any country as what it is. IT IS ONLINE DATING. Until you meet in real time, give the relationship all the consideration due an ONLINE RELATIONSHIP. There is only so much of your heart that you should give to a man or woman that you have not met. I am well educated with an advanced degree and a professional job. My online friend asked if we could meet in Europe where he currently resides. I agreed on the condition that he paid for the meeting. I have one experience that transcends all racial and cultural lines with men. If they love and want to be with you, they will do what it takes to be with you. Why should a woman foot the expense and go trotting around the globe for a man who is "convinced" that she is the one for him. Exercise common sense.

Now Naija men are different from black American men, but not so much. Most black men want to be the head of the home and want respect and honor. Most men will listen to and respect a woman who will honor, respect and submit herself to him. It is not a sign of weakness on the part of the woman, but it is a recognition of his role as a man. Now, most Naija men I have met are impatient and want what they want when they want it. It is cultural but not meant to be offensive. I told one man that I recognize this as a trait of Naija men, he apologized profusely and said he did not mean to offend him. I told him I was not offended and knew it was just a part of his upbringing and I recognized he was Nigerian; but, I told him I was American. Sometimes I would indulge him and respond to him; but, when he crossed the line, I would just ignore him.

Diplomacy can solve a multitude of matters.