₦airaland Forum

I love to cookk, hate t clean. I am excellent at ironing.

@Negro-Ntns: I think that question got lost in the shuffle. I do not know how it can be answered under a "dont ask, dont tell" policy when to speak openly and publically would "out" you as an Osu. Maybe some Osu can create profiles strictly to respond to these threads from an Osu view without revealing any information about their true identities.

I know plenty of interacial marriages in the US that last. One friend I have (black lady/white man) are married over 20 years. Oh, by the way, Beyonce's mom is BLACK. She is just light skinned, like Beyonce. Don't let the weave fool ya.

@Dede1

If you will note my previous responses, I only made comments which I felt were analogous in American culture. Again, I repeatedly made the concession that I am clueless about Igbo culture and as I have stated in other posts, I am here to learn. A good way to facilitate learning is, in my humble opinion, to ask questions and make analogy.

Thank you for your concern about my work situation. However, argument is an occupational requirement for me. I am an attorney and get paid to argue for or against a matter.

I never thought I'd see where someone disputed that marriage was the fundamental unit of society. Wow. Yes, US marriage is in a shambles and is reflected in the larger society. What did this have to do with the topic? I did not post to attract argument. I get enough of that in my work.

All women are different. Just talk to her and give her what she asks for from you and watch her body and reactions. This should tell you if she is satisfied. Keep communication open.

Only God can help this

I am an American woman and think that if possible, the children should return home often. In my family, our history is passed down @ family reunions as far back as we know. Also, the family made a video tat tracked our family's migration thru the south as sharecroppers. It instilled great pride in me as a child for our history and my forebearers.

I understand your position and can not speak to its efficacy but sincerely hope it works.

She is doing her job. When u get on your feet never forget her kindness and faithfulness and treat her like the queen she is.

Please forgive me if my comments make it seem as if I am or thought I was an expert on Igbo culture.  I do not, did not and will not ever make that contention.  It was not my intent to give that impression.  The only reason that I used the AA comparisons is because  I am very familiar with African Americans, being one myself.  I only raised issues that I feel are compelling and would be good to review.  However, I can never, ever, nor will I ever offer a solution.  I can not speak on things I know nothing of.  

Now, maybe the word tortue was a strong one, but I merely meant to show that to say that something is "only psychological stigma" seeks to diminish the effects the actions can have on the psyche of a person. If you are not an Osu, how do you know that it is "only a stigma" and that the stigma is minimal? Only an Osu can speak to that issue.

If this Osu condition is only discussed and observed in issues of marriage, then it is a BIG issue and needs discussion. The marriage is the fundamental unit of every society and if this issue has the ability to alter or inhibit the marital/family unit, it must be dealt with. Also, how can u diminish the situation by saying it is only a 'psychological stigma' and not torture? Have u ever heard the term psychological torture? And yes, in the US, AAs have made great strides but I can guarantee it was not by ignoring racism and the racist past. Even Obama had to make a speech to confront these issues. They were not and will not be solved by ignoring them.

I am AA and our folks had a lot of sayings that I hated but use them with my neices now. My favorite one is "you don't believe fat meat is greasy" meaning you are so daring that you dont belive the obvious . My 2nd favorite was "a hard head makes a soft behind." That speaks 4 itself.

I also know a man who refused to have sex with his wife after marriage. She got pregnant before the wedding and he really did not want to marry. After the wedding he refused sex with her but had sex with any other woman who would let him.

The bible teaches us that the wife's body is not her own and neither is rhe husband's body his own. They each belong one 2 the other. The bible says to not defraud each other in this respect and to only abstain from sex during fasting and prayer by consent of both and then to come together again quickly LEST YE BE TEMPTED. No spouse should hurt the other this way. It matters not whether u r good at it or not. A loving spouse will teach you. Pray; seek God and godly counsel. Do not return evil with evil. If he will not tell you what is going on, ask God. He surely will reveal it.

It is hard to stop when u have been deceived but keep reminding yourself that he did DECEIVE YOU and his wife. You dont need that. Pray and ask God to break that soul tie in Jesus' name.

It's ok. U luv what's in the panties don't u?

Arriving home @ 7am has nothing to do with culture and EVERYTHING to do with respect. Also, please Leilah, refrain frm providing so many intimate details about the wife in question. You gave woman's location, time there, educational background, physical appearance and the fact she lives very close to a close relative. Please stop being so closely involved in the affairs of others and mind your own.

Happy birthday girlie! Happy birthday to ALL other Februry divas and dapper daddies on Nairaland. Peace and 1 luv!

Again Dede1, I concede that your words are correct. If you will note, I used the terms "black" and "black blood" in quotes as an attempt to show these terms represent societal uses of the words whether they be accurate or inaccurate. I have no argument with u. Ur words are quite correct. I do; however, disagree somewhat with 1 thing, I have seen at least 1 truly "black" colored person. Several years ago I worked outside during my college years and my arms and legs became black. I was no longer brown at all on these areas. How did this affect my life? IT DIDN'T. I just thought it was amazing and very beautiful. If I were to contract the melanin robbing diseasr vitaligo, and were to lose all coloring in my skin, though my coloring would have changed, I will not be classified with the Europeans with whom I would share some commonality in coloring but would still be seen as "black." And this is why I say it matters not whether one is "light" or "dark". What matters most is WHO YOU ARE and not how you look.

@Dede1

I condede that not all Africans are "black" but I am speaking as an American lady and in America, for many generations, one drop of "black blood" makes you "black" to the larger society. And before you say it, I also concede that there is a huge issue of skin color among African Americans. I just personally find it ridiculous because to the larger society, a dark "black" person is just as "black" as the lightest "black" person.

who cares about skin color? we r all black whether we r light or dark.

In the US, both Abe and Abel are names. Abe is the short form of Abraham and Abel is one of Adam's sons. I dont know if the text is innocent or not but dont belive it was 4 the poster. Why pidgin R someone who doesnt speak it?

u shd tell her but pls use tact. I dated a guy who loved my cooking and he always bragged about how good it was to his friends. One day I made a dish he did not care for and he ranted abt how it was not prepared properly. He was so obnoxious, I told him not to worry, that it would be the last meal he ate from me. I kept my word and never cooked again 4 him. I shoulda been just as obnoxious and tod him how bad he was in bed, many western women are VERY honest with their men abt that. Not all of them fake it.

I am an AA female and the same discussions go on here in the US regarding use of slang and regional black venacular. During slavery, blacks were prohibited from speaking native languages and playing drums. No doubt the prohibition on language contributed greatly to the demise of African culture in America. My parents and grandparents were very well educated and spoke perfect English around us ask kids, but with friends in social settings, they spoke slang and southern black vernacular. I learned the bulk of these dialects from other kids @ school. My boyfriend is Yoruba and I told him I would only want him to speak Yoruba to me @ home. If we have kids, I would like us to speak Yoruba and English to them from birth. The mind is at it's optimum point for development and comprehension of languages during the early years.

Also, this story was about 2 Americans so no traditional wedding. The letter was read on the Steve Harvey radio show.

I am an African American woman and I know of 2 similar stories. In the 1st one, the parties mothers knew they were siblings and intervened b4 they started dating. In the 2nd instance, the parties married and had a very sick child. The child had a very rare congenital disease and died. They had another baby and the child had this same rare disease. The doctors told them they had to be related because no way would a normal couple have 2 kids like this. They investigated and the girls' grandmother told them that she suspected they were really brother and sister but she just didnt tell them.

Start off by telling your sis that u r so sorry that she had to experience this. Tell her she is greatly loved and that she surely will experience great love during her life but now is not the best time 4 it. Assure her that she is loved and worth only the best and that the best is worth waiting for. Tell her that when she is mature and ready love will find her. Until then enjoy being a girl. Those years are over too soon.

@ jany

(Maybe, just maybe, they liked me despite my being a disgustingly, fat, stupid, useless AA BBW. ) How could you say such a thing about yourself, Hmmm, U better start building your self-image and make sure you email me and I will meet with you and access your body very well, where r u located?

Dear Jany,

Thank you for your nice offer, but I thought it was clear from my original post that the comment I made about being fat, stupid were obviously made as sarcasm. Honey, I am far from seeing myself in those terms. I only made them to point out the foolishnesh with which some other posters have made comments. The bottom line is this, if you like BBWs, enjoy yourself and go for us. We are great and wonderful and beautiful like all women are. If you don't like BBWs, please, pass us by. There are many other men who find us appealing and would love to enjoy the sweetness that is the BBW experience!