₦airaland Forum

Wow! I popped in to see what is happening these days and the thread is still alive! Best wishes to all, especially Serubawon!

Awwww Happy New Year!!!

Mcleo007:
Losing one's partner especially at a young age is one of the biggest emotional trauma that can happen to anyone.

I lost my wife 3 weeks ago due to complications from childbirth. Our son didn't make it too. The saddest part is that I walked her into the theatre myself as she was to undergo an emergency c-section due to foetal distress as they said. She was full of life, gisted and pranked all the way. My world came down shattered when I saw the nurses running helter-skelter a few minutes after I left her off at the theatre room.

It's mysterious really how your life can be going so well, and in one blink, it comes down to pieces. We were first friends for a few years before becoming lovers, then decided to tie the knot this year in between her getting pregnant.

She was my best friend and we shared a close bond. We got married just May this year, which meant the marriage lasted just 4 months.

Family and friends would expect you to brace up and move on, but trust me the grief never go away. The grief hit harder in the mornings when I wake up; thoughts of the life we had, what we would have had had she not died, the many plans we made and so on.

I know I will survive, at least I know she would want me to.

My dear one,

Words can not possibly convey my sorrow at your story. Your grief is new and it is strong, I am sure. I hope that you will stand strong and take confidence in this one thing. As you said, you will survive. Know that people you have never met are praying for and wishing only God's best for you. Earth has no sorrow that heaven can not heal. I do not know when or how but I do know that one day, your healing will rise up to meet you. Be careful and take good care of yourself. Don't worry if others don't understand. God knows and cares for you.

Hello all and especially our brother serubawon! It is so good to see so many happy people encouraged by your story. Continue to be well and may God continue to bless! As to my own story, my former husband and I have been re-married for seven years now! To God be the glory! Only God could restore our marriage after 10 years divorced. We've been very happy and taking my husband back was one of the best decisions I ever made. It has been better the second time around for us. Even though I rarely drop through, many of the stories I read on this story continue to ring in my heart. I wish the best to all! Prittigrrr

I was just thinking of all my friends on this thread. I hope all are well, especially Serubawon and Olori!

Oh! My hubby and I are still quite well! We now have a new daughter in law and 3 more grandchildren.

Hello dear brother and my new sister! What a blessed new beginning God has wrought! I thought of you and decided to check the thread and am blessed to see this good news! My God continue to bless you both abundantly!

serubawon: Wow....she shows up again! Well, it's nice to hear from you again. Hope you're doing very well

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Serubawon, things are better than I ever dreamed they could be! My hubby and I are very happy. I wish the same and more for you and your bride!

This thread is still going strong! Praise God for you brother Serubawon! For all the inspiration you've given, God has rewarded you. Stay blessed and for those still waiting, delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. For those who are brokenhearted, remember He came to bind up the brokenhearted and to set at liberty them that are bruised. He is the God of all comfort. At my lowest times, these things gave me hope and now hope has been fulfilled. I rejoice with you all in hope of the good things to come. In Jesus' precious name, be encouraged. Amen.

@Serubawon, it was 10 years but he wasn't just waiting I promise you. He had his adventures I'm sure. When it came to him, I was a hard woman and I was mean to him. I would have given up on me. I'm so happy now I can't believe it! Out of hurt and pain joy has sprung! I'm so happy for you and your kids. You are such a blessed man and I'm so glad God has blessed you all again!

Serubawon is a prophet. I reconciled with my ex. With prayer, fasting, and godly counsel, we remarried after 10 years divorced. He was my friend and waited 8 years the first time for me to see he loved me. He is a patient man. For 10 years he waited for God to melt my heart and allow his return to it. When I lost my grandparents and suffered in my career, he became a listening ear. He did every task I required of him without complaint. Our families were so happy for our reconciliation. I'm blessed.

Awwwww! Wonderful Serubawon! I'm so happy for you! Well...... As for me........ God has blessed me immensely so much more than I ever thought possible. The Word says He is the mender of the breach and God alone, so times I least expected, has restored me in so many areas of my life. I'm advancing in work and my love life has flourished. My family and friends are rejoicing with me.

I am very, very well. I hope all are fine!

Howdy

Well, God knows best. Despite his failings, he was a good man who made very poor choices. He's been apologizing for years and he also would love it if we were to reconcile. Even my grandchildren who have never known us as a couple always ask me, "Where is our granddad?" God will direct my path in this regard, I am sure. I will wait on God to perform His perfect will in my life.

@Serubawon, my relationship with my sons is still very close. They are in their 20s now and still need mothering. One is married with 3 children and I am a grandmother! They are still my joy! No matter how old they get they are still my babies. At one time their father moved to another city and cut ties with me. As each son grew older, they one by one sought me out and reestablished a relationship with me. Strangely, they each sought me to be an intermediary with their dad. I obliged when it was proper and my ex and i became friends again. The boys, now men, are still wishing for reconcilliation between us. Funny how kids always wish for a broken home to be repaired. They have been a great gift to me and I love them. I'm at every event they have even when dad is not. Their real mom is absent from their lives and dad is in another city so I show up for them so they feel some family presence and stability. I've always been a mother though I've never birthed my own children. My heart goes out to motherless children and I try to help when and where I can. God truly blessed me with my family.

Hello all. At the risk of being matched again, I have a few comments to share. I am divorced and during my marriage I raised my 3 stepsons. They are all grown now but when my ex proposed, I told him I would only marry him if I could treat the kids as my own. I loved them, sacrificed for them and fought for them. I also encouraged them to love their mother. When they would ask me, "mom, who should I love more: you or my real mom?" I would answer that they didn't have to choose since God had given them enough love to embrace the world! Though their dad and I split, we eventually became friends and my sons are still my beloved children. Don't lower your standards and wait for the one who loves you enough to want all of you including your children. Also, a wise woman will keep the love for mom alive because she knows mom is alive in you and your kids.

My life update: I'm still looking for more meaningful work. I'm very active in grief counseling, emotional counseling and literacy programs. God may lead me to a new field but in the meantime I'm still in the legal field, albeit a brand new area for me. It's nice. I'm loving my new church and I'm very active there. Things are good for me.

Hello all! Again, how did I miss all of this? Anyway, I've been away from nairaland and have been focused on my career and other things I put on hold while caring for my ill grandparents. I can't believe it's been a year since my grandfather passed away. My dear uncle who lost his wife has met someone. He still cries daily over his wife and I don't think he's ready to date, but I've never suffered such a loss so I can't judge his choices. @serubawon: I'm very sorry for your loss. If you were at the point of marriage this breakup had to be devastating. Don't lose your hope. God is love and I believe He made us to reflect His love in the earth and to mirror the love of Christ for his church in marriage. Your bride is still in the dressing room being adorned for you, her husband. She will be worth the wait and all tears, pain and hurt you suffered through the waiting will be turned to joy. It is God's will that you not be alone and that you enjoy comfort from love while you are in the land of the living. I am still getting dressed for my husband, whoever he may be. I continue to wish and pray God's best for you and your family.

@ Serubawon

Communication remains a real problem. He is not open with me any more. He no longer opens his heart to me. I can not take a man seriously who wont talk to me. I feel like he is a stranger now. I don't want that for my life.

Unfortunately, there will be no happily ever after for us.

serubawon:
@ prittigrrr. Hmmmmmm. She finally shows up. Where have you been? Should we know?

Indeed, much has happened. My ex came to be of support during the burial of my grandmother. He wants to marry me and apologized for the misunderstandings we suffered. I accepted the apology and consented to consider reconciliation. However, I'm still hurt. I found he held things against me that I hadn't done. How can I respond when someone fails to admit what has really hurt them? I do still have feelings for him. I'm praying God will show me what to do.

How did I miss all of this? Congratulations Serubawon! You deserve all the love and happiness God can give!

serubawon:
So sorry to hear about your loss prittigrrr. However, I'm sure your granny is truly at peace now and resting in the bosom of our Lord. It's amazing how people get so intertwined in love that they can't live without one another. It's something that we all should strive to achieve. I'm sure the world would be a better place for it. Since you said you nursed her to the end, I'm sure that took a lot out of you also. I pray God re-energizes you and places you in a place of honor where you will also have people to care for you when that time comes. (This is turning a little bit too sad).

This was truly grandma.  She and granddaddy were married 3 weeks short of 65 years.  They were very close.  I moved in to care for him and nursed him until he died in August, 2010.  She was healthy.  She began to be more active for a while and enjoyed going places with me.  I thought she was going to push on for a few more years until the end of January.  She began to have more pain from arthritis and got more quiet. She got ill and went down suddenly.  All this happened in about 2-3 weeks time.  I miss them both so much.  I bonded with them so deeply in the short time I cared for them.    They became like my children.  I bought them clothes and dressed them alike.  I spoiled them both and indulged their every whim.  I bought them ice cream and made them pancakes and anything they wanted.  I wanted their last days to be their best days.  I am sad for myself but happy for them.  They only wanted life with each other.  That is such a blessing!  God is good to have granted their desires.

To all my NL friends:

My beloved grandmother died a few days ago. I nursed her until she died. She loved my granddad for life, and after his recent passing, she just could not live anymore. I love you Grandma. I pray you rest in peace in God's bossom and know you are reunited with the earthly love of your life.

I did not finish reading all the posts; however, the wife should begin to speak with a family law attorney in her state. She should look for one with immigration law experience. I am not advocating the divorce of the parents and really am not a fan of state intervention; but, in this instance she should know what her rights are and what protections are afforded her children. In the US, children are protected against parental kidnapping. I do some family law work but not this type. She should go talk to someone and have a plan in place in the event her husband tries to go forward with removing the children from the US.

I am not Nigerian. I am African American. My grandfather just died of cancer. I moved in with him and my grandmother to care for them through his illness. Granddad got very ill and got very, very weak; however, he refused to stop walking. He fell and hurt himself and spent his last days in the hospital. The hospital and doctors kept trying to get us to send him to a home but I could not do it. They were very very close and had been married one month short of 65 years! We looked at some homes and the doctors finally told us he must go to a home. We told them to send him back home for us to care for him. They opposed our decision and made it sound as if we had no choice but to go to a nursing home. I just could not take my grandfather from my grandmother like that. I also knew it would break his heart to go to a nursing home. On the day they told us we had to move my grandfather to a nursing home, he died. Sometimes they are necessary but I prefer to see people stay at home with their loved ones as long as possible.

Romeo4real:
@Prittigrr - Please strike the iron whilst its still hot. Serubawon seems to be a very well composed and cultured gentleman. Also, do you care to elaborate what happened to your relationship? It was all rosy and sweet,and seemed destined for the alter when you last posted about it.

Oh, Romeo, everything was very rosey. I was very much in love and I think he was too. Even though this is a forum, I do not want to disparage the gentleman. I still respect him. We were both the victims of a series of misunderstandings. My ex accused me of things that were not true. It took quite a while for him to find out I was not guilty. By the time he found out, he had closed me out of his heart. He tried to get over it and even though he knew I was true to him, he did not love me the same. He never included me in his daily plans, problems, joys, and sorrows as he one had. It broke my heart. He tried to return to me and make amends but I don't think the love was the same. I wish him the best and hope he finds what he needs. I know one day I will be found by the one truly for me. I hate it had to end the way it did, but it is much better to find out a man has problems with forgiveness and trust before joining your life to his in marriage.

spoilt:
Aaaah! Good. Make haste while this chemistry is still hot. I'll stay tuned for wedding bells.

Girl, you know u crazy. Well, I guess the ball is in his court now to contact me or provide a way for me to contact him.

@ spoilt I'm not wasting time. My granddad just died. Let me have a few days. LOL.

@ Serubawon,

Sure, I think my uncle may want to talk to you on yim. That would be great if you would give me your info.

We had a family birthday party that was planned for my little neice on yesterday. My uncle came by with a lady. I hope this will help him. Sometimes it does help. Many times it does not. My grandmother came too. She surprised me and got dressed and got out of the house. So many of our kids hugged and kissed her and the other children followed suit. They climbed on her wheelchair and in her lap. She never would go anywhere without complaining. She was so used to granddad pampering her that she got used to just staying home and worrying the heck out of him. LOL. Once he got sick, she began to rise to the ocasion. I only hate granddad was too sick to fully enjoy her attentions; but, I am so glad they had each other for 64 years. God was good to us to let us have them so long. I thought she would roll up and die when he died but she is pushing on. I teased her and told her, "Grandma, you are a single lady like me." She replied, "No. I am still MRS. JOHNSON and forever will be his wife. After a long life with a loving husband, that is a beautiful thing to day.

spoilt:
that cant possibly be a model.

Girl, you took the words right outta my mouth.