₦airaland Forum

@Fhemmy: I thought you guys could tell I was joking. I do not approve of relationship violence. And the violence was intended by the 67 yr old wife and not by me. I have never used grits, water, knives, bullets, slaps or anything else. I am like MJ: I'm a lover not a fighter.

I am African American. I am a woman. I am not crazy. I have never used grits myself; however, I made the comment to show a more efficient way to inflict the intended harm. As for my relationships, I flee from violence.

You do not need to "fight for your man." The man should be fighting to prove himself to you. Any man you have to fight another lady for is not worth having.

I dont think you "drove" him to another lady. That was already in the works. Learn from this and move on. By the way, I am American and never read my Nigerian fiance's phone, texts, emails, etc. I think it is inappropriate. I hate for a guy to do it to me. Either you trust me or u dont. By the time you start having doubt and distrust, you already know the real truth. No one has to tell you.

She shoulda used grits. Water rolls off but grits stick 2 u.

Have you ever told your wife that you cared enough to try to seek out advice here on Nairaland? Let her read your heart and I still say keep trying. Stop by daily and keep showing her love. Keep fasting and praying. The heart of the king is in the Lord's hands and he can turn it whatsoever way he will.

I think 3 yrs is a fair amount of time

posakosa:

James Bassey will be destroyed. There are no buts or Ifs, it will be done!

Are you willing to destroy you in the process?

@ Posakosa: Please know that you very well may destroy James Bassey (though it is unlikely) but you are assured that you will destroy yourself if you continue this path.

No words can describe how bad this thing truly is.

I never prayed that but I did desire it when I was married. I had to repent for it.

Happy birthday Seun, You are a young visionary. I am grateful for Nairaland and the bounty it has brought my life. I must necessarily be grateful for it's founder, creator, and owner. I wish you long life, wealth, blessings, prosperity and continued creativity. Go forth and create more new innovations and may your vision inspire more like minded young black entrepreneurs!

The young man should pursue the best course for his own future fiirst. There is no need for him to stay back and waste his opportunities. His parents' choices were their own. It is time for him to chart his own course in life.

Do people even bother reading the full posts?

I'd say, "oh! I didn't know the rules for us had changed. Great! There's this cute little dude at work that has been sweating me for months but I kept telling him I was married. Now, I will make my move!" (just kidding)

She needs to tell him as soon as possible. He is going to find out eventually and would be disastrous if heard from her ex because he will surely portray her as a homewrecker.

And do you only solicit BBWs for prayer and fasting?

jany49:
Swingers? what r u swinging? I dont know what you are talikng about. I am a Pastor ooo, may God forgive you, am beginning to think you are a Player but am not sure sha. Orisirisi lo wa ni NL. Shioooo!

jany49:
Wanna know if you are unpredictable as well. I hv a free pass to disneyland on my birthday in a couple of weeks, come with your man and I will come with my woman, I will tell you what next when we meet.

So pastor, will we be meeting up for prayer then?

I pray God's blessings on your life, wife and marrige.

He was compelled and coerced but it doesn't sound like he was forced to marry. However, I concede I am not Nigerian and can't understand the enormous pressure he was under. My heart goes out to him and his family.

[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=293409.msg4167604#msg4167604 date=1247249072]https://emoticons4u.com/happy/1197.gif 95% of the posters on Nairaland says richard10 should find a way to love his wife by fire by force, and what this means for unmarried youngies like me is that I am going to marry a mega rich man only just for his money, because I now know that when we start having marital problems and my rich husband discovers he does not love me/I don't love him, i will point him in the direction of Nairaland because I know the dependable 95% would be there to chastise him and remonstrate with him to bend over backward to love me and my trifling ways by force, yippee, heavenly bliss https://emoticons4u.com/happy/759.gif

I don't wanna push it, but if you don't ask, you don't get, so my humble request to you when he comes to you guys is to please work your magic on him if I cheat on him occassionally with his richer friends, convince him i mean well and still love him, thank you in advance, God bless you all I know I can count on you Nairalanders anyway to have my back anyday https://emoticons4u.com/crazy/217.gif

MORAL OF THE THREAD/STORY: Ladies can eat their cake and still have it, and we don't even have to force ourselves to get pregnant and disfigure our body to get a manhttps://emoticons4u.com/happy/1085.gif[/quote][/size]I understand your point but he always could have walked away.  Since he  chose to marry, he should love his wife and commit to the union.

And what do you do when 20 years later your child finds you and reports that the person you sold him to used him or her as a sex slave and committed unspeakable attrocities against him? Would that be worth the money?

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. I am very happy for your update. You have taken some big steps toward building love and I believe you are moving from conformity with the things of this world (resentment toward your wife) and now are being transformed by God's renewing of your mind. God is faithful and just. You have a spouse who loves you dearly. Half of the battle is won. You are now teaching yourself gratitude for God's 'good thing' he allowed you to find. Remember this. Things happen for a reason. You don't know if the lady you desired would have loved you like this one. God chose to bless you with life out of a sinful act. He also blessed you with a loving wife from this disobedience. Have you ever wondered about your insolence toward God for his blessings. He took the foolish things to confound the wise. Remember His ways are not ours. He knows what He desires for our lives. This woman who you have seen as your cross could well be the thing God uses to bless you forever. Cherish her.

All I am saying is it is hard not to love someone when you are acting in conformity with loving feelings. Also I was paraphrasing the word of God regarding removing the heart of stone. I believe with God all things are possible. It will not be easy all the times but it can happen. I think the OP has 2 major drawbacks to his loving his wife: 1. He felt coerced into marrying her and there exists some latent resentment; and 2. His wife is not the 'ideal' of what he felt his wife would be in that she may not be as educated and exposed as he would desire in a life mate. I still say if he submits these things to God, frees himself from sadness over what was not and embraces with gratitude what IS, he can come to love his wife and be happy in marriage. He holds the key to his own happiness and fulfillment.

Also remember "love" is an action word. It is not about what you "say" but rather it is what you DO. They have a saying here in the US, "Fake it 'til you make it," meaning fake the feeling until it becomes real. Start by doing loving things with your wife. It can be as small as kissing her before u leave in the morning and calling during the day. Buy small gifts like sweets or jewelry. Enjoy the look on her face and the gratitude she feels. Endeavor to really make love tenderly to her. Focus on pleasing her in bed. I believe God will touch your heart and love will grow. Ask God to remove the heart of stone and He will give you a heart of flesh toward her.

@tpia, you have said it all!

I believe love is a choice. Pray that God touch your heart and give you love for your wife. I believe if you want to love her, God will do the rest. Don't focus on why you married but thank God for the blessing of a wife who loves you so deeply. Fast and pray. God honors marriage and if you repent for your feelings and submit your will to the Father, love will grow. Be not deceived. I wish you, your wife and child all the best.

_{prittigrrr runs out of this thread}

jany49:
Wanna know if you are unpredictable as well. I hv a free pass to disneyland on my birthday in a couple of weeks, come with your man and I will come with my woman, I will tell you what next when we meet.

My guy and I are not swingers,

jany49:
Shiooo! Size 18, and you dey call yourself bbw, u are not big, u are just so curious about my previous post. If I tell you what happened, I am sure you will look for me and rape me. Ok let me ask you this, are you flexible like ilepa and able to dance galala on ur man?

I assure u I won't rape you and I never disguised my curiosity. Why do u want to know about my flexibility? I have a man.

I dated 1 mean guy. It didn't last long.

I am a big lady. I won't give my weight out but I wear an 18 dress. Now, explain your previous post. Why are we unpredictable?