₦airaland Forum

This is sad, truly time is not on your side, the only reasonable solution I can think of, is having a strong discussion with him and also how you two plan to ensure you are financially secure. Truly Chikdren are expensive so I can understand his hesistation, but professional exam might not guarantee anything, Both of you need to sit down and discuss financial investment and also stress the importance of raising a child now. Time is not on your side.

Sounds like they live in Lagos even though 170k is not a bad monthly contribution, there are many of side businesses he can do to sustain, so he doesn't have to postpone child bearing.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

How old are you ? If more than 25 , try and move out and live your life. You're a man , so you can easily forge your path how you want it.

InoGetJoy:
The babe is a runsgirl. Met the new guy in then lobby and he quoted a price that she didn't want to lose

Someone dating a Runsgirl would at some point know. You see why I said most people on NL date wrong choice of babes.

funnyDM:
What of Qt Mobile?

Lol you are trolling me right ? Pls QML is dead, just write Flutter or worse KMM

stankelz:
pls bro reply my DM

Tomorrow , I have an interview to prepare for

irunoko:
if you are in nigeria they have no advantage.infact they dare not declare their sexuality because nigeria is still very homophobic

My employers are American Companies, if someone were to take my statement to Twitter and change the context, trust me my employers will have no choice than to fire me, The Gay propaganda is very strong.

MufasaLion:
I think it's the society. I mean, in a country like Nigeria, you dare not come out as gay not even to your family! This is the reason they hide it and mask as straight just to fufill all righteousness.

I really don't have problem with anybody's sexual orientation as long as they don't force it down my throat.

Reason I have issues with gay people is they are too forward esp with Straight people, have had my experiences, if I beat someone up I will be tagged as Homophobic esp with the way they have certain advantages in today's political climate.

Tell Kingsley to go to Atlanta where he belongs

MufasaLion:
You're right, but a man that's sexually attracted to both both genders is bisexual.

yes I know that, but what I hate is all these Bi people who try to mask as straight and be doing stuff Down-low.

WHITELIGHTER:
to keep up appearances....remember the society you leave in

I get but he wants to ruin someone's life the poor lady will be second guessing herself thinking why she is not good enough not knowing the guy is bi

MufasaLion:
He's probably bisexual.

if you sleep with a man you are a gay to me. That's how i see it

GurlFriend:
I see a bunch of threads here created by guys who see nothing good in the women folk, but if I start writing about the evils that men commit, the mods may move the thread to the literature section.

My Experience

I am pretty, well kept and groomed and at an age where although I may not be a spring chick, I am still young enough to attract attention from guys in their early 20s who have no qualms about toasting their elder sister's age mates. I have had my fair share lovers but I am currently sworn off men till such a time I recover from the trauma of my latest experience in the hands of the 'ejaculating gender.'

My now ex, let's call him Kingsley was supposed to be a godsent. He is fair, heavily bearded, handsome and a single father. He is also terrible in bed. TERRIBLE. He doesn't last more than 4 minutes, and once he reaches the four minutes mark, he spurts his disgusting seed into the condom and goes limp for the rest of the time with him. Even if I squeeze and massage his small member like bitter leave, he will remain limp like golden penny noodles.

That did not stop me from giving two years of my life to him because I genuinely loved him and felt I could cope with the terrible sex; man shall not live by nacks alone. I had met his family, he had met mine, we were literally 5 and 6. We fixed the wedding for January 8 next year. I'm looking at the stupid IV as I'm typing this.

So we closed for the year at my work place on December 24th and I decided to spend the evening with him. We had agreed that no more nights over till the wedding since it was barely a month away, so we might as well start living right before God. None the less, I had closed by 2pm, I didn't look forward to spending the whole evening in my hot apartment alone so I, against better judgement went to his place and let myself in. His line of work doesn't give him the luxury of closing early like me, so the apartment was also empty but he has a generator and AC.

I settled in, began watching movies on his laptop. I don't know the devil that pushed me to leave the film I was watching to start snooping through his files. In my two years of dating I have never gone through his phone or PC because if you cherish your peace of mind, never snoop through your partner's devices otherwise you will see things. What you are looking for, you will find it.

He has this folder in his laptop called 'Don Quixote.exe' which I see all the time. I asked him what it was some time back and he casually said they are program files and if I mess with them, I will disorganize his laptop. The same devil I had earlier mentioned pushed me to open Don Quixote, and behold, what did I see?

Gay porn. Man nacking man. Woman nacking woman. My fiance is gay, I think. Or bi-sexual. I don't know. My hands are shaking again.

I'm so hurt. Photos upon photos of homosexual and lesbian contents. But this is not where the story ends.

After the initial shock of these disgusting photos, I was confused, shocked, disappointed. I quickly shut down the laptop, prepared dinner (Indomie) and cried myself to sleep on the bed because I'm a very emotional person. I took Lexotan so I could sleep.

Around 10, I think, Kingley came back. He didn't know I was in the house because I left the lights off. He, however didn't come back alone. He came back with a guest. A male guest. I know this dude is his lover because I know him from the office and I have always been suspicious of his sexuality. What kind of masculine man wears purple skinny jeans and wiggles his bum when he thinks no one is watching? I also saw a TikTok video of this guy dancing, wiggling his bum and twirling his dreadlocks?

That is the colleague Kingley brought home by 10 in the night.

Anyway, Kingley walked into the bedroom, saw me and the guilt written all over his face made me ask him who was in the parlour with him after hearing another male voice. When he couldn't give a coherent answer, I went to the parlour and saw Uncle Purple Skinny jeans. Now added to the gay porn I discovered in his laptop, you will not blame me for having a meltdown. I yelled, screamed, cussed, threw his ring into the toilet and flushed it. I ordered Uber to my parents house that night and spent 25th chopping breakfast with tears.

Two years, with a bi-sexual man. Or maybe he is gay himself. I don't know. He has been begging me not to expose him to his family, but it's too late. I have told my family and they intend to formally let his family know that their daughter cannot marry a 'confused' man, as my father says.

What do men want?! Two years of my life, plus all the wedding expenses, gone down the drain. I am so heart broken and humiliated.

I don't want to say men are scum because I have a wonderful father and loving brothers, so I will leave it. I'm done with men.

If the fa.g knows he is into men, why bother with women, these guys are just disgusting.

Romance Section is trash filled with bitter people, Programming, Investment and Travel is the best because most of the those threads requires sense unlike here

Abigailgibson:
I need the full desktop version of tableau. Is there a way I can get it for free?

Hmmm google "GetintoPC Tableau"

ShadowWalker00:
What of Xamarin.

Not worth the stress biko, I'd rather write Java if I'm doing C# for mobile apps

DrLevi:
As a flutter developer, I can confirm that you're correct and it does render amazing animations although there was an issue with iOS. The UI flexibility is why there is a flutter now supports all major operatiing systems. Even Toyota is porting it for their automobiles.

Althought last week, I was watching a video on a port of[b] Skia for React Native[/b]. I think that would change the dynamics of superiority between the two because that was flutter's upper hand over react native.

Thanks I had no idea bout this

obembet:
Dear Nairalanders, how do you feel When your ex says, you'll never find someone like me, how do you respond?

Blocked lol

so wait the guy sleeping with her happened to book a room opposite yours ? What are the odds ? I mean that's odd someone will cheat with someone knowing her bf is opposite her room. Sounds like Hookup babe to me.

Same Hotel Same day

Do women marry down ?

Stop capping is my fav slang

finishmatter:
All the women I’ve ever been with over the years and all the relationships I’ve observed from the outside have been variations on the following theme:

”I am a women. I deserve the best of everything because I have vagina. To be with me, a man must make me his number 1 priority in life.

He must strive everyday to keep me validated, entertained, aroused, and emotionally stimulated. He must spend all his surplus time and financial capital on me. He must continuously perform extravagant and absurd and buffoonish displays of devotion. He must give up all his friendships and hobbies and life ambitions for me.

He must accept all my baggage and physical flaws and bad decisions and bad manners and emotional disregulation and erratic behavior. I owe him nothing in return.

I don’t need to bring anything to the table (aside from vagina). I will be sour and spiteful and manipulative and entitled and boring and erratic and disrespectful and critical and duplicitous. I will nag and criticize him to the point of exhaustion.

I will bad-mouth him behind his back to everyone we know. I will create needless drama in order to feel “connected” to him.
I will squander his money on worthless idiotic crap like monthly pedicures and dozens of shoes I wear once every 5 years and hundreds of pounds of holiday decorations and my collection of random framed nouns and adjectives and stinky, annoying, filthy pets and different colored furniture and towels and curtains and bed linen which I will swap out every 6–12 months for no reason. I will continuously cultivate relationships with his potential replacements while in a relationship with him.

I will lie in utterly convincing ways because I do not even realize I am lying myself. Not only must a man make me continuously happy, he must make me continuously happier than all of my female friend-enemies and happier than I imagine myself being with anybody else at any given moment. If, at anytime, he fails to successfully perform this Herculean task, I will either give him the silent treatment or badger him incessantly about how our relationship isn’t “going anywhere” and how “I’m not content.”

I reserve the right drop him in a heartbeat at any time and instantly monkey-branch to any number of other men who I have been encouraging to court me behind his back.
I will then take from him everything I can no matter what he’s done for me in the past. I will do this, because, after all, he didn’t put in enough effort and he failed as a man and it’s all his fault.

Any children we may have together will be used to hurt him emotionally. I will do irrevocable harm to the children by trying to turn them against their father because doing so pleases me.

I will also use the family court system to extort as many resources from him as long as I can, hopefully until the day he dies. While I am alienating his children from him and feeding off him like a parasite, I will loudly and unabashedly recount my victimhood to anyone unfortunate enough to cross my path in my never-ending quest for attention and validation.”

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

Everything written in bold is a major red flag avoided, I've met women like these and blocked the next day, Bro I got no chill, if you endured all these maybe you need self-confidence. No confident African men will put up with these.

You kidding me, Naija men no get chill o, be like say Gen Z people no sabi way or something

walkingshadow911:
how do u know fake love when our cultural and societal believe portrayed a man should provide everything regardless until he got burnt by this vaginarians

You can spot fake people if you give them enough time, trust me unless you ignored some flags, we men tend to give it all our best at our own detriment but mehn these days, if it doesn't pay you feel free to walk. What a woman won't do , another will do with glee. Facts

finishmatter:
My choice of women, no way. My experience with women, yeah. Alot of it.

I reckon you will need more experience with women to appreciate my piece.

I really wish you don't learn the hard way

I've been around the block, I don't put up with unrealistic women, maybe you should too. Every woman I have dated has to bring something to the table be it spirtual, support and mutual counselling. You can't date a liability and expect to see something positive. if not I will walk away, No guy has time to put up with that bro.

NitrogenBomb:
Please this will be abit lengthy and direct and please don’t mind my errors. This isn’t joke and I’m so serious here please. I met my current babe early this year, Infact few days after Valentine day in School. We both in the university.

We both in our Early 20s and I’m just older than her with 2 years. We got talking and I noticed she liked me. Anyways we got dating but my intention was to have a taste of the honeypot like 4 times and take off because I noticed she got a banker who is rich and doing well on the Island, He should be around 40 if I guess right and also some other guys and sugar Daddies inclusive.

She’s also from a rich home too and her Dad is into Bereau De Change. Personally I’m not doing bad financially as I do some Project Jobs with an IT firm on the Island as a Casual staff and I can afford some basic things to an extent, but she’s doing financially better than me because of Her Guy, Dad and other Contacts.

I have never been in a relationship for over 6 months, infact once I sleep with a girl I just move on to the next one. But since I slept with this my current babe, I won’t lie since that day till date I couldn’t get over her. Infact it seems I’m liking her the more. She’s Pretty with a very massive ass( honestly I have never seen a ass soo big and that’s what attracted me to her and her honeypot is the sweetest I have ever tasted, don’t know what she put there. I have asked her severally, but she just laughs over it).

One day she told me she has noticed I want to leave her because of her lifestyle but I won’t be able to leave. She clearly told me that I have no Idea who she is and that she doesn’t sleep with a guy for money but just for fun and money can’t keep her.

Truth is, She doesn’t even demand money from me, but instead she wants to be giving me money always, which I don’t like. She told me it’s only when she wants a guy to go, that’s when she will let him go. I notice even her rich guy in Lagos still calls to beg her most times and sends her lots of money atimes.

While in school there was a time I stayed in her Crib and noticed some fetish stuffs in her bathroom. Anyways I took it with a pinch of salt because I’m irreligious and don’t believe in those things, but I’m beginning to think otherwise because I don’t understand what’s happening to me again.

The last time I broke up with her, I found myself going to beg her after two days and she was laughing and saying I won’t go anywhere and I won’t even know when I will put a ring on her finger that she has already chosen me because I have lots of prospects and a future. Infact since I started sleeping with her, other girls don’t enter my eyes anymore. As funny as this sounds, I really want to break away from this girl, but I don’t know how. She always call Water mother when talking atimes. Please Help NLders. I really wanna break away from her.

Na slap go reset your brain

finishmatter:
All the women I’ve ever been with over the years and all the relationships I’ve observed from the outside have been variations on the following theme:

”I am a women. I deserve the best of everything because I have vagina. To be with me, a man must make me his number 1 priority in life.

He must strive everyday to keep me validated, entertained, aroused, and emotionally stimulated. He must spend all his surplus time and financial capital on me. He must continuously perform extravagant and absurd and buffoonish displays of devotion. He must give up all his friendships and hobbies and life ambitions for me.

He must accept all my baggage and physical flaws and bad decisions and bad manners and emotional disregulation and erratic behavior. I owe him nothing in return.

I don’t need to bring anything to the table (aside from vagina). I will be sour and spiteful and manipulative and entitled and boring and erratic and disrespectful and critical and duplicitous. I will nag and criticize him to the point of exhaustion.

I will bad-mouth him behind his back to everyone we know. I will create needless drama in order to feel “connected” to him.
I will squander his money on worthless idiotic crap like monthly pedicures and dozens of shoes I wear once every 5 years and hundreds of pounds of holiday decorations and my collection of random framed nouns and adjectives and stinky, annoying, filthy pets and different colored furniture and towels and curtains and bed linen which I will swap out every 6–12 months for no reason. I will continuously cultivate relationships with his potential replacements while in a relationship with him.

I will lie in utterly convincing ways because I do not even realize I am lying myself. Not only must a man make me continuously happy, he must make me continuously happier than all of my female friend-enemies and happier than I imagine myself being with anybody else at any given moment. If, at anytime, he fails to successfully perform this Herculean task, I will either give him the silent treatment or badger him incessantly about how our relationship isn’t “going anywhere” and how “I’m not content.”

I reserve the right drop him in a heartbeat at any time and instantly monkey-branch to any number of other men who I have been encouraging to court me behind his back.
I will then take from him everything I can no matter what he’s done for me in the past. I will do this, because, after all, he didn’t put in enough effort and he failed as a man and it’s all his fault.

Any children we may have together will be used to hurt him emotionally. I will do irrevocable harm to the children by trying to turn them against their father because doing so pleases me.

I will also use the family court system to extort as many resources from him as long as I can, hopefully until the day he dies. While I am alienating his children from him and feeding off him like a parasite, I will loudly and unabashedly recount my victimhood to anyone unfortunate enough to cross my path in my never-ending quest for attention and validation.”

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

You make it seem like there are no reasonable women out there, every topic shares the same sentiment. Maybe your choice of women are the problem.

DrLevi:
Lol, I legit expected a more technical response but that works too

Personally I would chose Flutter over RN because of this reason:

Flutter renders directly to the Pixel, meaning you can render any OS Controls, it's the same way Android and Linux renders UI, where as React native still talks to the each OS Controls. Flutter uses Skia engine, it's like X11 for Linux, the thing that renders the screen , button and window. so Skia directly is deployed on each OS and draws the UI. Flutter is going to have better and way advanced animation than RN.

This is based on my understanding though of it. I might be wrong

queenblossom:
My brother sex matters a lot in marriage. Infact you should put it as number 1

it matters but come on, yansh and boobs over good character noy like she's that bad or flat chested

DrLevi:
Nice! but why not Flutter?

And this isn't to start a fanboy war, I'm looking to understand your approach. I remember you starting flutter once and absolutely trashing out RN in the past. I'm curious about what changed

The company I work for, forced React Native on me. You get , so no choice

I have never written React Native in my life, I always hated it in the past because of how it was built, until I took up a job which required me to learn React Native and so far it has been an interesting journey.

What is React Native in my words ?

React Native is simply a platform that allows you build apps with JavaScript that run to Native.

How is this Possible ?

JavaScript code is transformed to a payload which is ran on a JavaScript Engine called Hermes, Hermes is similar to something like V8 a JavaScript Engine built in C++ that can understand JavaScript and also expose Native to JavaScript. I am not entirely sure how everything works seeing it is complex. but it allows for Android API to be exposed to JS easily and from JS to Native.


My Verdict
So far, I have been using the RNUILIB which is a library written by Wix for React native, I customize UI with it, and it is very straight-forward depending on your knowledge of things. However in my honest opinion learning Native will make you a better React Native Developer as you have the ability to expose more API to JavaScript, here are some designs I did in Figma and the implementation in the Android Emulator.


Conclusion

React Native is awesome for Quick Jobs and if you know Native you will have better control but when it comes to performance and file size of app, Native still triumphs.


FIN

abostg:
The page is fully functional (both back and front end) as I envisaged it.

But i just feel something is wrong with the design or appearance

Guys what do you think ?

Waste of Space
Poor Color Choice
not enough padding

but there's room for Improvement