didn't know our folks can be this stupid.
Tufiakwa!

davidylan:

eyah pele. Shut the door after you leave and please don't forget your milking pails.

This is what i call eating your cake and having it back, hot!

The guy had a fun time milking you, unfortunately cows are expensive . . . no one wants to buy them. Better if you get them free.
While you're here posting, the other girl is busy singing hallelujah under his abunna.

ROFL.
And let's not forget that he has powerful swimerrettes.
The Naijachick may even land with baby in hand

onyinye2:

Yes. Pack her things, get her belongings, call a taxi, and RUN. Not walk but run. But i must say, how does one even consider allowing their so called fiance marry another woman? What goes on in their head? Cause that sure aint rational.

my sister ask me again?
If her "fiancee" AKA babydaddy is helping by marrying this his friend's sister, they'll have to be married for at least 3 years before she 's eligible for the green card and the poster is talking of loving the fool with all her heart.
Nonsense!!
at the time I caught him making all these secret calls and actually has the nerve to tell me his intentions,that is when the love should have been cremated and forgotten.
what is love sef?
people need to find out what that word really menas.
she still loves him or is she scared of being alone.

onyinye2:

Mayne Queen, nnem. . . . you said it all. Everything that could be said, was said. Girl got to wake up. She reminds me of some of these folk and this hurricane. Just living in a dream world.

I know I'm sounding very harsh but the chick needs a smack on the head to wake her up not sympathy.
I'm shocked she's even rationalising things.
It's girls like this that answer "fiancee" for donkey years with 5 children still a fiancee
Tufiakwa!
she only has one kid on the way.
This is her chance to run and never look back

I see you modified the 26 year old part before I quoted you.

The funny thing about it is the brother knows that he and I are living together and when my boyfriend left to go to Nigeria, the brother and I were the ones that took him to the airport. What type of brother would this be to allow something like this to happen to his sister? Should I call the girl and find out what the situation is? Is it really worth it to do that? I am stuck, confused and don't know what to do. He's currently in Nigeria and will be gone until October and I am thinking about moving out, do you think this would be a wise idea or should I just hang in there? Can things be worked out, because he keeps insisting that he doesn't want me to go anywhere.

They both obviously think you're a fool.
They've played you like one.
They have absolutely no regard whatsoever for you that's why your boyfriend and his friend would be planning for him to marry his sister and bring her to the USA while you're laying around chewing on ice cubes and waiting for his return.

Did you say he's in Nigeria and his friend too ?
The girl is also in Naija?
well he's probably gone to pay the dowry and perhaps test-driving his good as we speak.
Wake up woman!

of course he doesn't want you to go anywhere
he needs your "Jericho" readily available when he returns.
I say wake up! and smell the kunu

AngelChick:

Hi hopefully someone here can offer some great advice!!

I am currently engaged to a Nigerian man and pregnant with his child. About 2 months ago I noticed that he was recieving calls from someone in Nigeria by the name of Chinedu, and found out that it was the sister of one of his friends here in the states. The name was programmed in the phone and I had used the phone many times before, so I knew that it was a new number. Also having met his sisters and mother, I knew that it was not any one of them. I asked my boyfriend about this girl calling all times of the day and he responded by saying "I just needed someone to talk to". After further questioning, he then told me that this is someone that he is considering marrying just so that he can help her to come over to the states. He claims that he still loves me and has made all these wonderful promises to me, and has refused to take back the ring that he gave me during our engagement, but I can't deal with the fact that he wants to marry another woman. We live together and we're both expecting our first child, but what do I do at this point? Do I walk away? Do I stay around and hope that things work out? I'm so confused, because this is the man that I love and if he says that he loves me too then why is he doing this to me. Everyone keeps saying to pray about it, but at the same time if he's hell bent on marrying this woman what is there to pray about? I am a very stable woman and can make it on my own, but truly I love him with all of my heart. This is a young girl and I really don't want her to be hurt by him. I don't know if it's really being done to help her come over or if it's real!!! The funny thing about it is the brother knows that he and I are living together and when my boyfriend left to go to Nigeria, the brother and I were the ones that took him to the airport. What type of brother would this be to allow something like this to happen to his sister? Should I call the girl and find out what the situation is? Is it really worth it to do that? I am stuck, confused and don't know what to do. He's currently in Nigeria and will be gone until October and I am thinking about moving out, do you think this would be a wise idea or should I just hang in there? Can things be worked out, because he keeps insisting that he doesn't want me to go anywhere.

Any advice or comments would be appreciated!!!

You asked for it.

It's amazing that you just got registered on the forum and your first post is this long tale.
Na wa!

well to your question.
brace yourself, it may not be pretty

This is what happens when you shack up and lay with a man before saying I do
Remember he's not your husband.
no he ain't.
You are just some woman in his bed carrying his baby.
You  shouldn't worry about this 26 year old who according to you is about to" ruin her life"
a 26 year old is not a child
You should worry about  you
Pregnant, unmarried, unwedded, whose man has the nerve to be making multiple calls to a woman far away and negotiating marriage while you're in the bathroom having morning sickness.
From your mention of 26 as young,you're obviously a mature girl.
Stop wasting you time and next time learn to keep your legs closed until you actually walk down the altar.

_{why should countryman buy the cow when the milk is free?}

The man had some sort of connection with the muslim brotherhood.
see what they believe.

The Muslim Brotherhood “must understand that their work in America is a kind of grand Jihad in eliminating and destroying the Western civilization from within and ‘sabotaging’ its miserable house by their hands and the hands of the believers so that it is eliminated and Allah’s religion is made victorious over all other religions.” — Mohamed Akram, “An Explanatory Memorandum on the General Strategic Goal for the Group in North America,” May 22, 1991


and that mindset exists in every true Muslim, moderate or radical.
The only difference is how much one is willing to do , to see it come to pass.
do not be deceived

Cayon:

Zero tolerance for Muslim participation in politics?
By: Shahed Amanullah

If you want to understand just how difficult it can be for Muslims to participate in public service, look no further than my friend Mazen Asbahi. An accomplished attorney and long-time Democratic volunteer, he took on the position of Sen. Obama's national coordinator for Muslim and Arab affairs last week. Unfortunately, he resigned yesterday out of fear that his appointment would be a distraction to the campaign.

The source of his worry? The fact that he had served on a board of directors, for a few weeks, with an imam considered by some to be an extremist, as well as his being an officer of the Muslim Students Association while he was in college. Mazen himself was not accused of being an extremist, or even of supporting extremist groups and/or causes. Yet this was enough to ensure his quick departure from the campaign, after only a week of work.

Think about this for a moment. No reasonable person would link the reputation or activities of one board member to another, especially (as was the case with Mazen) when you had no say in the nomination or election of that other board member. And being an officer in a Muslim student group - nearly all of which operate independently of the national MSA - is only a liability if that particular student group is accused of wrongdoing, which Mazen's MSA wasn't.

Mazen is a loyal Democrat who has worked tirelessly to help mobilize millions of Muslim and Arab votes this coming November, and he has by all accounts a stellar professional reputation. But two very tenuous "links" - if you want to call them that - were enough to erase an entire adult lifetime of achievement and cast an unfair suspicion over him that will follow him through the rest of his life (thank you, Google).

When I spoke to him last week, he was excited about the possibility of bringing more Muslims and Arabs into the political system, to prove that our communities can be a net positive contributor to the societies in which we live. I cannot imagine another qualified Muslim daring to follow in his footsteps, only to be subjected to second/third/fourth-degree of separation accusations and (as we like to say in political circles) "be thrown under the bus".

The very people who fight to push Muslims out of the public square are also the ones clamoring for our communities to get out in the streets and prove our loyalty to the US. If only they could see the contradiction for themselves.

Let him leave before he costs Obama the election.
It's hard enough trying to convince Americans he's not Muslim, then to have a muslim connected with controversy in his campaign.
Obama's middle name Hussein (which he's struggling to cast off) is enough "bad luck"
He doesn't need this kind of bad press.
All Muslims are extremists until proven otherwise.
We have no time to sort out the bad from the ugly.

When the "publicans" get this sort of news before we know it,they'll say Obama has terrorist connections.
I applaud MR Asbahi  for leaving
we want to win this election.

idupaul:

the one lying beside me now is all i need ,don't send any one else for now.

Puhlease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lying beside you indeed
since when did pillows start having blood vessels
pillows don't lie beside anyone
they just stay where they are kept

idupaul:

Good , now can we leave this thread , i just hate the topic, tell u what desiree just open a new thread so your new army of admirers can go there.

at least thy're bold to declare their love.
You're using cunny cunny to chase the girl.
we've all seen ya type.

Desiree1:

y'all are wonderful except 4 idupaul who forced himself here. wel ive decided to move on n yeah the age difference is much. Love why did u carry me 2 him?

This is probably your first love.
We do silly things when we're young and think the first man is the right one but most of the time he's not.
You have no one else to compare him to.
First time I fell in love,I was 16, he was 26 and I felt I had found the one.
These "older" men have a way of messing with the mind of young girls.
You'll get it if you remember what I'm about to say now.

A man that truly loves you will treat you right.
He won't run around and cheat on you
He won't manipulate you
He won't take undue advantage of you
This your man has done all 4 things
And he knows you're vulnerable because of your age and family being faraway

My advice

Don't sleep with him anymore.
That is his weapon for keeping you bound to him while he messes with your mind.
This man is well experienced in these games
He's been around a while.
Dump him like yesterday's tampon.
He's not worth it.

Mr Right will come along and you'll know him when he comes.
He'll respect and treat you right.
All the best my dear.

Desiree1:

@ queenisha

heheheh who is davidylan?

david is my nairaland babybrother.
Very smart lad

but seriously,you are a beautiful,articulate girl with a wonderful heart.
This man is way too old for you.
don't make that mistake of talking marriage as you said earlier.
He is immature and manipulative.
did I mention too old for you.
at 21 you shouldn't be with anyone above 30.
It will not be a good match

Desiree1:

@ davidylan lmao   hehehehe

for those that can't stand their first, it may be so but the fact still remains they remember who did the thing first no matter how good or bad.

Nne forget that Mr Methuselah that treated you bad.
At 21,what are you doing with a 35 year old?
He'll manipulate you to death.
look for a young intelligent man within your generation.
Davidylan is his name

How can you be talking about Usher while your man is talking about Barry white?

davidylan
God has answered my prayers
This is the girl you've been waiting for.

sojourn in the occult world – Lagos Police boss
Monday, September 8, 2008

Lagos State Commissioner of Police, Mr Marvel Akpoyibo, on Sunday made a startling confession of his sojourn in the occult world before he turned his life to God.

Akpoyibo made the revelation in Lagos at the sixth edition of Breeding Leadership and National Transformation (BLENT) organized by The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM), with the topic ‘The role of the church and security’.

Mr Marvel Akpoyibo(Lagos CP)
The police chief held the congregation, which included police, road safety and prison officials spellbound as he na the story of his life as a member of The Pyrates while in school and when, as a young officer, he was advised by his seniors to seek for spiritual protection and arm himself with charms in order to survive in the Police Force.

His words: “As soon as I joined the Police Force, all the old policemen came to me and said, young man, you are a graduate, you think you will do this job with your long certificate? I say what do you mean? How can you be a policeman and you don’t belong to Ogboni. You don’t have charms, you don’t belong to any cult? I told them I was a Pyrate when I entered the university. Everybody I met told me the same story. That was how I started acquiring charms. Distance was not a barrier.

“Even when anybody said there was a strong native doctor somewhere, I was there. The more I acquired these charms, the more the devil would tell me you have not arrived yet. There’s still one you’ve not gotten.

“My wife and I were living in a duplex. From the rooftop to the bottom became like a shrine and each time I was going to work I would use one hour to equip myself. There were some padlocks they gave to me, very heavy padlocks, and the enemy locked the padlocks. He didn’t stop there, he threw away the key and said I should put the padlock in my pocket. By the time I finished dressing up, if you saw my pocket, you would think “I was carrying money. They were useless padlocks. Even with all these, I was still afraid. The Bible says Christ is the light and in him there’s no darkness at all.

I was living in fear. Until one day I met a man who said his name was Ikuku amana onya. He took me to the forest and there I saw all the demons in the Iroko tree. They were communicating with the old man in the language I didn’t understand and a mighty pot came out from the ground with cowries around it. He was commanding a whole senior police officer to strip myself naked in the forest and wash my body with it. He brought cowries and native chalk and gave them to me. He said well, these ones are power.

Thereafter, the ground opened again and swallowed the pot and I was commanded to go away without looking back, otherwise, I would be destroyed. I turned and went back to the man. I got there around 2 a.m., the old man said young man you are a very lucky man. I said what do you mean, he said I have just gone through a very terrible ritual, that if the content of that pot had been human blood, I would have died three days after the ritual. He said the content was ordinary water. The old man was telling me don’t you know I don’t have life to give to you? You are a fool; you are only lucky. So I left the place.

“I didn’t know my cousin had been interceding for me. He was born again, he’s a military officer, he has been waiting on the Lord, I did not know. I don’t know how much time you’ve spent interceding for your friends who have not known Christ.

“One day, I wouldn’t say I was sleeping because I was very conscious of my environment and Ikuku a maghi onya came, all those demons I have been consulting, they invaded my privacy and entered my private bedroom. My wife was not seeing them but I was seeing them. They said that was the appointment I had with them. They said that we agreed that I was going to die. They said that was the covenant I made when they were cutting my body.

“In my heart I said, before they will finally kill me a name I have never mentioned before came to my mouth. I now said, ‘In the name of Jesus.’ The heaven opened and fire came and consumed them. Ikuku amana onya and his cohorts were running for their lives. If you are a child of God, you will never backslide.”

The police chief’s confession was intermittently interrupted with claps by members of the congregation who witnessed the event at the TREM headquarters.

At the end of his testimony, the presiding Bishop of TREM, Dr Mike Okonkwo prayed for the police boss as well as other police officers present.

The Bishop also presented various security gadgets, including walkie-talkies and revolving light as well as computers to the police and other security agencies.

please don't change the subject.
This is not about keeping oneself for marriage neither is it a license to bash Christianity


_{some people will soon get on my case}

*Morenike:

Make sure to meet him.
Lol! My friends and I have this crazy thing.
If one of us gets hooked, we approve or . . . . . Not that it matters.
But we just make sure we see/know the guy she's with.

Just check, if the guy looks over 50 hmm

I will meet him at the wedding
even he turns out to be McCains age mate, we shall see him there
Lord have mercy!

Michelin that's not the issue.
He could be 50,52,49,41
the issue is that she needs to know exactly how old he is [b]from his own mouth[/b]She shouldn't be guessing or doing background checks on a future husband.

*Morenike:

But I just don't get it. Why keep your age away from the woman you're proposed to marry?

My sister I've thought high and low and can't understand it.
I just feel he's perhaps in his fifties.
I haven't met him yet.

Ibime:

Is he a footballer?

No
why?

debosky:

e be like say you no be naija - no be matter of 'sworn affidavit' or declaration of age?

People dey comot 10, even 20 years from them age to retain jobs in naija - I can never trust any age i see inside a naija passport or document.

Unless I sabi d pesin mama wey fit swear on the breast wey she take feed the pikin, the age can be false.

i tell you, something dey fishy about this man, make she no go marry male winch o!

My own be say,make she no marry man wey no get "abunna"

michelin89:

How many Naija men know their wife's real age?

Mine knows my real age ,I have a  valid birth certificate not declaration of age.

stillwater:

He should just say so instead of beating around the bush.

this wan don pass beating around the bush o
ewo!
na for evil forest the man dey.
chei
I no wan wear ashoebi for marriage wey get k leg from beginning.

debosky:

its very simple - the man sef no know

when them born am for village, no birth certificate. . . . d only thing him mama tell am be say 'you were born after the new yam festival. . . . . two days before you were born your father nearly died because he choked while laughing and eating a bowl of ofe nsala'


But seriously, isn't age part of the 'basic information briefing' that you do before you even begin courtship?

The man fit be ayamatanga wey don live through 4 centuries and wants to use her to regenerate his body, make your friend shine her eye well well o!

You no well ROFL.
Actually my brother when she called me with the good news my basic questions were

what's his name?
where's he from ?
Where does he live?
what does he do for a living?

then on subsequent discussion

has he been married before?
any kids?
how old is he?
That was where the tory come change gear?
na im I come weak
I no say much again

LOL
The men spoke b4 my post went through

I'll like a man to say something here.
Do they at all see these things the way we see it it really is ?

stillwater:


Maybe he's shy. . .

Igba!
shy wetin
Even he is Methuselah himself,this is his wife to be?
She's no spring chicken herself

sistawoman:

What about after the death of the sr brother. I was told that if the wife loved the husband very much and wanted to stay in the home then she would take the jr. brother as her new husband.

is this true?

Like you I have heard of things like this,I have never seen it happen and I know many widows,even in my own family.
This may have been the practice sometime ago,I don't know
Or perhaps still existent in some very "interior arears"
My own grandfather died and left  wives and his younger brothers did not inherit any of the wives.

LadyT:

I find it very very strange.

Is there some dark secret he is hiding?

Surely thats one of the first things you find out?

Is he worried she will dumb him because of age?

Only God knows!
I'm concerned for her
If a man can hide this sort of thing,what else is he hiding?
They decided not to have sex before marriage,at this rate,how are we even sure he has a  functional pe'nis ?

k1banty:

she should accept him for who he is,


no be age she go chop



age na just number and i am very sure she will be older than him

that word 'desperate' is enough for her to get married irrespective of the circumstances surrounding the husband to-be's age

We know he's older but how much older is the question.
He gave her a range (which I find very odd)
I used the word desperate to mean that ,that is the greatest desire of her's right now.
She is accomplished career wise.

I'm thinking he's probably much older and he's embarrassed by it.

@ michelin, the options as far as other men seems limited ,she's extremely picky and age is not on her side .
All her friends have been married for a while.
I'm also concerned about what else he could be hiding

Very beautiful Christian girl
In her mid 30's
desperate to be married
Finally got a proposal  and she's excited but there's one problem
He refuses to tell his real age.
What will you advise, if this was your friend.


_{I'm being very cautious}