₦airaland Forum

coogar: you're a tool!
ask your fellow women - they would tell you it's the truth.
women are less comfortable being competitive.

You cannot tell me about women, I am a woman I have inside information :p
Also you are antagonising yourself, you stated earlier that women are more competitive? Your argument is a weak one.

coogar: stop talking via your arse.....most of the time, the target has agreed to dance
then her ugly, obese friend runs to her, whispers nonsense in her ears and she changes her mind.

what's antisocial there?

More angry black men talk, I've never actually been in this situation before so it's safe to assume you guys make it up in your heads. In reality the woman has rejected you, however when you tell the story a friend appeared from nowhere whispering words in a loud nightclub? Well done o delusional one.

coogar: you're a tool.....in decent night clubs, men also tend to pull women to dance with.
it's not rude and antisocial to socialize in a club. you are the one with shot confidence here.

a naija man is confident....he sees what he likes and walks up to her.
what's antisocial there?

That's what I said, if you approach the woman politely and she's in the mood why not. If you aggressively pull a woman from a group of friends there is no way shes going to dance with you. Rather than run on bravado you guys need to work on you approach!

coogar: so lemme ask you again.....do you cockblock?

Actually cockblock wasn't intended for the way hateful black men love to use it, anything in the way of opportunity is termed a 'cockblock' that can be from your smelly body odour to your controlling mother, a big mouthed friend or an ugly face. It's not a term used to insult women (unless your an angry black man of course you can't get enough of doing that).

But to answer your question, no. I get an enormous kick out of watching razmataz men make a fool out of themselves.

how about araparegangan and aresejabata?

coogar: so you agree men don't bytch about as much as women? well done!
fact is - women can be quite sensitive and emotional so women tread carefully around one another.
a man-woman friendship allows more freedom, competition do not come into play...a woman will not perceive
a man as vulnerable or sensitive as she would perceive a fellow woman.

take rejection like a man? men have been taking rejection since puberty but we can discern when
a girl wants to play and her obese and ugly friend is cockblocking....if she wants to go home with
me from the club, her friend will not let her and she's bound to agree with her friend so as not to
be branded a cheap LovePeddler! you know this....

so lemme ask you again.....do you cockblock?

men bych as much as women. Everyone does their fare share of byching about people they don't like. Men do it, women do it too.
Your second statement contradicts what you said before about female bosses? Women do not tread carefully around other women. You are more likely to divulge intimate details to a woman than a man, the connection in female relationships cannot be compared to intersex ones. In the end they do share alot in common,.
one of my closest friends is a guy, there are many things I will never share with him. Thats not freedom at all, as a woman I can say you're chatting absolute nonsense. Women do not perceive other women as vulnerable or sensitive.

Well it's your inability to handle rejections that makes you invent non existent concepts. In a social situation where you are bothering a girl who is having a good time with her friends what kind of response do you expect? Rather than see the reality (the woman does not want you) you decide to believe there is some vendetta. That's the fact of it right there you can spin it any way you want. If you visit a decent night club (face it your scenarios only happen in razmataz ones) you will find blokes pulling females in groups left and right.
I've never understood why a nigerian man thinks it's appropriate to interrupt a conversation in a restaurant or bother a girl that's having fun with friends. It's rude and antisocial. Thatisall. It applies to any group really not just female ones. Less arrogance more manners wins the race.

Cheda: Ladies, I would like to know, if it's okay by you to settle down, with a guy who's into cyber-crime only, and has no plan of retiring for something else? There's this close friend of mine, whom his 1 year 6 month girlfriend, is about to leave him, except he quits, and starts up a more promising business. She said, "what if maga stop dey pay?", what then happens?

Well personally I won't, but I can empathize with someone who resorted to 419 in a difficult climate. If he's a smart one (not one that has no job yet drives a bentley) then yes. I know quite a few guys that started legitimate business with illegitimate funds.
In the case of your friend he sounds like a full blown criminal, I won't advise a sensible woman to near him with a bargepole.

International harassment isn't even the only reason. The americans being soo trigger happy may resolve to bringing their war to Nigeria. Further compounding the situation and even making the terrorists happy. Abeg, they should find another country to destroy.

It is a local problem after all and it's mainly politically motivated, the government simply need to employ measures to prevent this happening in the future, if they make significant investments now and encourage industry development in the problem areas terror groups will find it harder to recruit. Once they have brought about long term solutions they can work on the present situation.

I hope GEJs administration can analyse things from that perspective, if OBJ had done the same we wouldn't have these problems. You cannot solve a problem by covering it, appeasing them only works for a short while.

[quote author=*Ileke-IdI]Nnenna1: I came across this interesting piece in wikipedia about the average human height per country in the world, and did a tally of the reported heights from Some African countries. See below:

Male Female

Nigeria 1.638 m (5 ft 4 1⁄2 in) 1.578 m (5 ft 2 in)

Mali 1.713 m (5 ft 7 1⁄2 in) 1.604 m (5 ft 3 in)

Cameroon 1.706 m (5 ft 7 in) 1.613 m (5 ft 3 1⁄2 in)

Cote D'Ivoire 1.701 m (5 ft 7 in) 1.591 m (5 ft 2 1⁄2 in)

Ghana 1.695 m (5 ft 6 1⁄2 in) 1.585 m (5 ft 2 1⁄2 in)

Gambia 1.680 m (5 ft 6 in) 1.578 m (5 ft 2 in)

Malawi 1.660 m (5 ft 5 1⁄2 in) 1.550 m (5 ft 1 in)

South Africa 1.690 m (5 ft 6 1⁄2 in) 1.590 m (5 ft 2 1⁄2 in)


Nigerian men came out to be the shortest in this list. I find this a little strange - obviously there are issues that undermine the data (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average_height). And yes, I know it's Wikipedia. But hmm,

If you look at the source even Chinese, Vietnamese and Mexican men one-upped Nigerians.[/quote]You just have to love science. . . . .it can prove absolutely anything!

well there we have it, Nigerian men are short and twiggy! case closed!

[quote author=*Ileke-IdI]I don't fight ladies, abi ibo lo ti ri mi ki n ja obirin.
I just want to know why she hates Ekiti so much nau[/quote]hate ekiti can? who can hate it, the food is too divine! *salivates* what I will do for some ekiti made egunsi right now!

coogar: women aren't more loyal.....matter of fact, they envy each other
and would go any length to bitch about it time n time again. why do you
think some women would rather keep male friends than their own kind?
why do you think most women prefer a male boss than a female boss?
stop defending the indefensible, when it comes to loyalty, men reign supreme!

Men? Loyal? Hmph. A woman is less likely to go for a friends ex boyfriend, men bitch to they are just a bit more subtle about it, as to keeping male friends, that is not for most women and it's part of the argument here; maybe these girls that claim to 'hate female drama' and prefer 'keeping male friends' are insecure and feel the need to put other women down to gain favor from the males around her?
Because a woman will work you hard and is less likely to tolerate nonsense, a man may tip toe around the fact you are a woman. Thats not a bad thing. I will employ a ruthless female to manage my company anyday.

Well it's not meant to be a battle of the sexes there are enough of those here, at the end of the day it's women that embrace religions and social trends that insult and belittle us. We can attribute a million and one factors to the way some women behave, but we are still recovering from hundreds (possible thousands) of years of being conditioned as the weaker sex.
Lets test males for a few hundred years and see how loyal you'll remain!

Come to think of it, women are incredibly defensive of their friends. Thats even why people often make the joke 'not all your friends are attractive'. In most of sagamite's night club scenarios the girls are defending their friends from ugly arrogant men. Instead of you to take rejection like a man you comfort yourselves by inventing the word cockblock. You think if she wanted to dance with you she won't? It's people like you that aim to pit women against each other for your egos sake.

all the childish speculation from a gay mans woes at the night club, i've told you too many times you need to stop deceiving yourself. You play for the other team :p

[quote author=Mynd_44]This thread was meant to show we guys as sexists[/quote]no not at all, most of the concepts are pretty new to me as well. I was just trying to figure out what a typical Nigerian will feel about it :p

Sagamite: If you are the one that is close friends with a girl like Missy B and you go clubbing with her, are you telling me you will not do you best to block all guys approaching her?

Would you be comfortable she is getting all the attraction from guys? Would you allow her to be taken away by a guy and you are left standing/dancing on your own?

You need to embrace your sexuality and come out of the closet now.

Now why will a woman block guys from approaching her friend? If anything i enjoy watching men make a fool of themselves, thats even besides the point. If a man is goodlooking, charming and hit all the girls the right way they won't turn him away. In that case men are actually the problem.

and all this, women keep ugly friends to make themselves look good is b*ls**t! If a woman only kept beautiful friends she'll be shallow, theres no pleasing some people!

michelin89: I created this thread, after reading a lot from female posters on this particular section (and also from my life experience). Some female posters did end their posts with: women are indeed their worst enemies. I just thought I should turn it into a topic because at a point I got so disgusted at the way women were so quick to turn against other women for a mere conventional reason and the saying appeared more true than false.

I was actually surprised when I saw a particular poster agreeing with the title.

It's even a term I commonly use but for different reasons, I'm just wondering if it's our nature to be competitive and seek out faults in women. Even at the times we mean well.

Sagamite: I am yet to see any man that says he prefers female friends because they are less trouble, but I know tens of woman that would say the reverse.

I can imagine things are different for you gays. But straight men do.

[quote author=tpia@]if a man smokes pot i dont see why he should have any issues with his girlfriend or wife doing the same.

and vice versa.[/quote]You say that but we all know how double standards run,

TisaBone: smoking killer (as we call it in my neck of the woods) is not unattractive, but I wouldn't want to be around someone who did. i used to smoke and drink, but i quit (long before i became a christian.) i'd be way too tempted to hit the blunt. lol. so why put myself in a tempting situation like that? in fact, i actually refused a weekend trip to kings island because i knew they were gonna be smoking and drinking on the way. in a way i felt bad for refusing on those grounds, because i didn't want to make them feel like lepers, but i have to do what i have to do....

I totally understand you, drinking by yourself is no fun so I don't particularly like hanging with someone that doesnt. At the same time one has to be able to maintain his principles without having to bow to pressure. It's soo hard being a grown up! lol

shymmex: Why are you obsessed with generalization when it comes to Nigerian men?? You need to grow up, and understand that Nigerian men (which includes Yoruba men) are the most diverse men in the world.. We don't have a sheep mentality.. People are different!

Back to the question: I prefer women who use intimacy gadgets because it makes their pum easier to penetrate for a guy like me who's on the big size (not bragging, just a free guy). It's annoying when your girl complains about feeling pains every time you try penetrating the bottomless pit.

How can I be obsessed with my own culture? I'm just trying to get a feel of different views geese and gander and all.

shymmex: I'm a social pot smoker (but a regular cigarette smoker), and won't mind a girl who also smokes - as long as she doesn't look crackish, but the smoking has to stop once children get involved.
It only becomes unattractive when her lips are as black as her bum, she looks crackish, or she looks high and incoherent all the time.

makes sense-

J12: Do you love getting high?

LOL
Actually I don't-doesn't make a difference to me.

khukhi: Well I smoke pot with my b.f and I know other people who do too. I know he doesn't think any less of me because of that . Although sometimes I do feel bad cause he stays with his cousins and I feel like they must think I'm something else even though we all get high together...


Either way I do it cause I keep it real and I feel he should know the real me not some fake who does all sorts of crazy things at the corners .
.

and you live in naija?

A guy actually told me it's dem sexy, that he cannot date a girl that doesn't!

michelin89: And how have I done that? Am I the one who made this thread 4 pages long?

Please if you nor get better thing to talk, nor post abeg.

So I'm so stupid to actually open a thread to self accuse my person?

Try to be objective here- you are making a post about women being katty, but you are also being katty in the process. and behaving in the exact same way we are calling women out for.

In the process a discussion which should actually bring women together turns into a platform where we bring arms out. I'm beginning to believe it's inevitable.

Anyways C.fours has a point, women are more loyal to one another than men. They form more intimate bonds with one another, I believe friendships between females are more meaningful chicks ride or die together.

You also have a point, but you have to understand it makes you seem as if you're sitting on a high horse. What kind of women only observes the bad attitudes of other women?

[quote author=c.fours]speak for yourself!

the women I know stand up for each other and do not use those nasty words you put up there towards one another. so speak for yourself and the kind of "women" you move with.

and yes men do talk ill of each other more than women do! In fact, that's their definition of being a "man" If you have brothers or male friends like I do, you will know that 80% of their time is spent calling each other the most deplorable names in the dictionary and instigating fights like no man's business. that's what they call "manly" in their own opinion.

it is an accepted fact that women are the more sociable gender. maybe you and your female friends are exception to the rule. but don't categorize all women as being antisocial.[/quote]Can't actually argue with the logic behind this because it's actually true. Bit of a conundrum really, but I think it's down to women being more loyal and compassionate.

The purpose of the thread may be for discussion but the op has inadvertently contributed to the behavior she claims to hate. making her exactly like she's described, a woman's worst enemy.

I’m curious about a few things,-

No1 why are Nigerian men afraid of intimacy gadgets and the women that use them? Is it your lack of understanding or are you afraid of being outshined by a machine?

Does it belittle your confidence knowing she can always get it better by herself?

Will you use one with your girl?

No2 how do you feel about a woman that smokes pot.

Do you see it as unladylike?

For those that like to ‘indulge’ in such- what do you think of women that do?

Do you feel it’s unattractive?

Do you have the same views for women as you do men about weed?

Will you jam with your girl and smoke?

I’m just curious, if a group of men can enjoy getting high then why can’t women?

Thirdly, will you date a girl that significantly out earns you?

Will you feel threatened by a woman with her own house, car, and housemaids?

ties are sexy hmm hmmm hmmm- and a suit hmm hmm. especially if the blazer is fitted, and when he takes it off and you see the arse. . . . working in the city is bliss

And when he stands up and it's dangling. . . . . just makes you think some things meeehn.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]I won't be surprised if in the near future we get a COOGER WEDS QUEENSMITH invite. I swear you two have such good chemistry it is almost palpable. [/quote]I may need to redirect you to some other threads!

coogar: the expect things to change in marriage. for some couples, things
did change....for some others, things got worse. it's a game of chance
but most naija babes would readily do a society wedding than risk
waiting for the knight in the shiny armour to arrive from the stratosphere.
the more you wait, the more your value reduces.....

I get this, we are all guilty of it, but marriage is no simple thing. Marriage is a massive investment, it's the rest of your life. It's even more important in Nigeria where divorce is stigmatized. I don't believe people knowingly gamble with it. It's not that easy!

coogar: that's not what i am saying ....i am telling you there's a social stigma
attached to unmarried women in naija. some fathers give their daughters deadlines.
so what are we talking about here? the question that hangs in the air is if the man
loves her. once that is ascertained, most naija babes walk into the marriage. it doesn't
matter if she loves him. one way love is enough, it doesn't have to be 2-way for these chics.

I agree, but cmon she has to feel him too. Even if it's imbalanced, it cannot be easy hooking up with a dude you're not attracted to. Even if she was desperate and has no sense.

coogar: family oriented, my arse.
are we talking about those same men who want to marry you and still do some
polying on the side? is that what you want or are you prepared to live
with your man having criminal conversations with another woman?
.

Well compared to the British men, with the 40 year olds unmarried and still feeling funky. It doesn't mean they are responsible, or faithful. Nigerians are just conditioned to settle down, the women and the men. . Parading in your 40s isn't cool back home.

coogar: there are men in nigeria(about 40 million)
the ones that are single....maybe 10 million
single and professional....maybe 100,000
single, professional, dateable...1000
single, professional, dateable, marriageable, 10

and those 10 are fairly dispersed in the country.
how do you find a meagrely 10 men out of 160 million population?
these things are not written on their foreheads.
my friend, it's a needle in a haystack.

I agree that there's alot more marriageable women than men (because most of them are retarded). But there is still enough for the women not to resort to such desperate situations.

durobraham: Hi Nl,
This post is about a conversation i had with my friend recently& she couldnt get it so i am hoping i can get honest advice here.
Ok here goes, i am a 26 year old never been married single mom& the only men who hav asked me out in the last two years are the under 35 never been married kind. The problem with this is i want to marry an older man who has kids because i think that will be the best kind of setting to raise my child.
My last relationship ended middle last year mainly cos i realized that my boyfriend treated my child like he was mildly irritating. He actually once said he wishes he met me before i had my child...
Anyway, I have since then i decided not to date anyone who didnt already have children. I know these kinds of relationship come with their own issues but...
so what do u all think should i date any of these young men asking me out? or should i wait for the ready made family i am dreaming about?
pls be kind with your comments. Thanks Y'all.

Finally! A thoughtful woman with sense! Who puts her child first and considers the childs wellbeing and her happiness before jumping into a relationship! O happy days!

Anyway, I agree with you. You should be looking for a man that has kids and know how important they are. A man who will understand that he needs to take your children and love them like his own, and that you will do the same.
Imo it will be unfair for you to date a spinster, it's like offloading heavy baggage on someone who isn't ready to carry the weight. Plus they may not be mature enough to handle someone else's child.
All in all you will most likely enjoy being with someone with similar experiences to your own.

[quote author=12 inches!]I av been dating her for a little ova a month. It seems so short but it seems like we dated for over a year. We had fun. We enjoyed it. We went out to parks. We ate together. She came to my house a lot. No sex by the way. But then she has a kid (she told me early enuff). I couldn't handle it though I had been trying to. So wen I eventually went to her house I lost it. So we broke up on the fone and I cried a lot that nite. I saw her today and we talked abt it. We smiled. We laffed. I cried. It was my last moment with her and I wanted to make the best of it so I kissed her finally and I had to let her go. Things were complicated enuff alredi. She said she is happy we dated. I'm thankful I met her too. She has changed my perspective abt girls. ***** I miss u. Thanks for making me happy. I wish u a good man and a great future. God bless you.[/quote]this is sweet, almost humanizes you. . . . almost

[quote author=Mynd_44]Buyout do know that the Federal government is about to place a ban on BA right?[/quote]No i didn't actually, I knew there was beef but not to that extent. O well even if they do it won't be before I fly!

[quote author=Mynd_44]Hey what's up? You have not been on a Nigerian Airways plane lately have you?[/quote]no, not after the way I was treated the last time. From now on it's strictly BA. :p

coogar: yes...looking at it from the other side of the pond, it's easy to say it's foolish!
but i have spoken with few of these women and i have heard what they had to say
about it. an unmarried woman in nigeria carries a huge stigma of irresponsibility.

Well from either side of the pond, upon weighing the conditions that will make a woman happy. A normal individual wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship she's unhappy in. It's not as if you meet a guy you don't like an then jump into marriage. The normal dating/courtship/engagement process is enough time to analyse and conclude the relationship will not work. Even the most desperate of all cases is going to back down at a point. It will take someone having an affinity to misery or a sadist to sit in such an uncomfortable situation and still decide marriage is the next step.

coogar: and if you don't find one you have an amount of romantic affection for? what
do you do? if the ones you seem to like are hooked or married, what do you do?
wait till 50 before you find love?
!

The way you are looking at things, you're giving me the impression that these women actually study the cases and know there is little confidence in marriage. To believe that I'd have to assume these women are smart. Given the type of decisions most of them make when choosing partners (ones they actually have alot of affection for) we all know this isn't true. And if they we're smart, they will easily conclude that jumping into a distressing situation isn't going to boost their social ego's any more than being old and unmarried will. It's a connundrum really, but I still do not believe it's easy to marry a man you don't like. (unless he has alot of money, and even so the money will produce love )

coogar: yes.....you are right.
there are plenty of men in nigeria...but when you trim it down
to plenty of men who want to settle down, the number decreases
sharply. finding a man(single) that wants to settle down and who
fits your criteria decreases your options even further....it's like
finding a needle in a haystack!

I don't agree with this, men tend to be more family orientated back home. People keep saying finding a husband is hard but I think it's very easy, it's not as if bachelors and baby fathers are now in vogue (in Nigeria ). Come to think of it I don't know many available 40 year old men.

I think drogba is winning this one.

coogar: fair enough!



talking through your rose-tinted glasses again.
marriage is a big issue in nigeria. after a certain age, a babe is expected to
tie the nuptial knot. in most cases, the man she loves is not ready for marriage
yet and the babe is in a huge pressure to marry from family, relatives n friends.

then she decides to take her plan b on board. plan b is a guy she doesn't love at
all but the dude is ready to marry on the spot. the woman then settles for her 2nd
option just to carry the title of "mrs". it's called marriage of convenience. she's
only satisfying the society - not really herself. sadly, that is what is happening
in naija these days.



easy for you to talk.....
once you are pushing 30 and above.....even aki n pawpaw would be considered
by you! don't stay in the uk making these colourless comments. go and stay
in nigeria for a year or 2 and then feel what these babes are going through.

I see you trying to use society and peer pressure as an excuse but this is simply an attempt to justify being foolish and making very foolish decisions. A woman should have an ample amount of romantic affection for a man she's going to date talkless of marry! It isn't going to work otherwise and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to apprehend that fact.

I've stayed in Nigeria before, there are plenty of men there. Pushing 30 is still no reason to act foolish. Either ways only the poster can say whether 10 years of a loveless marriage is worth holding the 'Mrs' title.