₦airaland Forum

There is an old saying that goes something like, “Put your money where your mouth is,” meaning that if you are serious about something then using your money to support this something is a natural follow-through.

If your boyfriend uses a coupon to take you to a fast-food restaurant, and then wants to sneak into the movie theater, I would seriously wonder why he won’t spend the money for a date. If he was broke, that would be one thing. Then you do things that are free or cheap. But if he has money, and won’t spend it on dates, it would make me wonder how much value he places on the relationship.

I've known a few Ladies like this.

They're not going to change for you. Or anyone else. They will just end up resenting you if you try.

Are you all having sex? If so, you need to stop until you feel like he is placing value on the relationship by using his wallet to show how much he values you.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett has issued a statement debunking such story of them being in an open relationship or granting Jada permission to have sexual partners.

The truth is that Jada Pinkett has always suffered inferior complexity when relating to Will. Even before he married her, it took him almost 2 years to convince her that he's serious with her and not a playboy. Will's beauty and gregarious nature has always placed her on the jump.

Years into their marriage, she has cheated on Will on more than 3 occasions while he shows her this great understanding and love. Will has never been reported to have cheated on her throughout their marriage, not for once.

Prostitution in Nigeria is illegal in all Northern States that practice Islamic penal code. In Southern Nigeria, the activities of pimps or madams, underage prostitution and the operation or ownership of brothels are penalized under sections 223, 224, and 225 of the Nigerian Criminal Code.

Ok

subcbouy:
I wasn't even referring to her anyway. I noticed guys using f instead of m. I was only curious if they left omitted alphabets at home or on nairaland.

Did you call her?
Her stories are true as far as am concerned and people here have validated her claims.

subcbouy:
I am curious as you. When a female voice turns a male voice because she left "fe" at home on nairaland kult mata. Voice of Jacob but hand on Esau.

OBelz:
Becoming one of the members of such group, you will need to go through a certain procedure for new-comers, which implies VIRGINITY loss (with the presence of other members of the clan), cutting of thumbs, cooking a kind of a soup with the blood from these parts of the body and then drinking such a beverage. During an initiation ceremony, the eyes of the initiate are expected to be closed while sonic incantations are recited. The new entrants are made to drink some concoctions mixed with blood.

Prospective cult members must demonstrate the ability to use weapons, while ability to consume alcohol, use drugs & being a lesbian is are added advantages, wearing of provocative dresses that accentuate natural curves and contours is almost a must. They must also be able to display unusual bravado during altercations with uninitiated female students. Most female cultist must be a smoker of marijuana and all brands of cigarettes, she must be able to consume all kinds of alcohol. To guarantee her acceptance, she must pass the test stated above.
After you have become a member of this group, you can’t leave it unless you are dead or you come under protection of more stronger clan. . For the female cultists, their initiation may include being forced to engage in some immoral activities. Among the Jezebels and Amazons for example, new entrants may be made to undergo six rounds of rigorous intercourse in quick successions. They may also be made to fight with other girls. In my own case I fought with Jane and I really injured her. She still has the scars till date. Please, Jane if you reading forgive me. You are expected to move around in groups of four or five as a means of protecting themselves against possible sexual harassment. After initiation new members are taught to communicate with other members in coded language.

This is based on a true life story told by the cultist. Names have been changed to hide the identity of the students

Akudo wants to come out but they won’t let her. The last time she told them she was leaving, they threatened to deal with her. What she did not expect them to do was to wait at the gate of her school after school hours to attack her in broad day light. She was assaulted by Vipers, a group she belonged to where she had been a member of the Vice Queen, the female arm of the gang. The group is dominant in Asaba, Delta State. Akudo is 15-years-old.

A crumpled note was dumped on Dumebi’s lap. By the time she looked up, she could not tell who had dropped it on her lap. She asked her classmates sitting close by, but they too did not have a good glimpse of who did it. The class was rowdy. It was break time. Dumebi uncrumples the note. The first lines made her blood run cold, she broke into a sweat, her heartrate spiked. It was a letter, addressed to her. It was a threat. She jolted from her seat and headed straight to the school Counsellor’s office. She’s only 13 years and didn’t know how to handle this sort of matter. It was a message from a gang who saw themselves as ‘cultists’. Their name, Red Devil Girls evoke fear. She had been ‘bammed’ code name for marked.

Later that day when she got home, her mother impressed upon her not to go back to school the following day, a Friday. She was scared. Dumebi stayed back. Sometime in the afternoon on Friday, Dumebi went to the market at Ogbogonogo on an errand. A ‘spotter’ for the gang, known as Shedrach, surrounded by 7 girls pointed at Dumebi. That Friday after school hours, the threat was carried out opposite Ogbilo Junction where Dumebi was waylaid by the 7 students dressed in mufti, who had gone after a ‘flight’, their code name for new recruit. They beat her up and left her bruised in the midst of confused onlookers. When the news of the attack got to Dumebi’s brother-in-law, he was livid.

On Monday the following week, Dumebi and her brother-in-law went to the Police A-Division not too far from the market to report the case to the Anti-Cult office. Now they sit at the counsellor’s office waiting for the proper protocol before the next action is taken against the perpetrators.


Millicent wore a smirk on her face. It was a cunning expression borne from a certain confidence she feels she possesses – the thought that she can outsmart her teachers, folks, and school students alike.

At 15, She stands erect, and tells the Counsellor that she has denounced her membership from Tibi. She had been the ‘Queen’ of F-Tibi (Future Tibi, the female arm of the gang), at the top of the authority hierarchy.

Akudo, Dumebi and Millicent attend the same school. They are amongst the disturbing growing number of girls faced with a social dilemma fast becoming pervasive in secondary schools in Delta State: the pressure to belong or be forced to join a group often termed a gang or secret cult.

In this school, a mixed secondary school for junior and secondary school students, at least 10 such groups exist according to the list I was shown collated by the principal of the school. Of these number, two distinct gangs have dominant control inside the goings-on in the school while the other eight co-existing within the school have strong external influence from outside that manages their activities within.

According to the principal, members of the group who control activities within the school are known as ‘coordinators’ and those managing the structure of the gang are called ‘leaders’. While Dumebi cannot understand why she was chosen, Akudo was already tired of being a member of the group, whereas Millicent pretended to denounce when in reality, her goal was to jump from one group to another to recruit fresh girls to join another group known as Devils Girl. She was the mastermind behind the recruitment of Dumebi. She had thought Dumebi was a weak easy target because she had that docile pliable look that wreaked of fear. But she was surprised to discover behind that face was a quick intelligent mind. She is not pleased as she sits at the Counsellor’s office hating the feeling of being outsmarted.

The name ‘Hannah’ written on the letter is a fictitious name. It was written by another student, a boy, code name Shedrach who is also part of the secret-cult. Millicent is a serial-group hopper. She knows the game and plays the rule to suit her needs. In every group she joins, her trump card is to ensure she has as many friends within who can stand for her, vouch for her. Her singular goal is to be become the ‘Queen’ of the female arm of any gang group she chooses to join. That way she has control over the rules and the people who make the rules. Being a queen, she can control, intimidate, ‘obtain’, code name for stealing, harass or determine the fate of any girl through ‘flight’ or ‘nooting’ in exchange for other favours.

Recruitment fees (otherwise known as ‘submit’) of up to N3,500 are paid to her aside weekly and monthly dues. Included in being in this position is the pecks of having boys who can fight for her should the need arise.

According to Millicent, there over 6 female gangs in Asaba alone, many others unknown. These 6 are the most dominant groups, many of them were created as the female arm of existing male-dominated gangs and secret-cults: TG Girls (Trigger Girls), Vice Queen (Vipers), F-Tibi (Future Tibi), Red Devils, Bad Dragon, and JVC. The notorious three on this list are: JVC, Vipers and TG.

They all use the same spot for ‘initiation’, a neglected thick bush area within the premises of SPC (St. Patrick’s Church) and other selected bushy areas, hideouts, and uncompleted buildings scattered all over town or in abandoned school blocks. Within Millicent’s school alone, many of these groups co-exists, each running their gangs independent of the others. There’s an aggressive drive for ‘flight’ or ‘bamming’ for recruitment of boys and girls. Millicent informs me that new recruits have recently joined different gangs, many of them mostly operating in public schools (she mentions 3 other popular public schools in Asaba).

Dues for new recruits have gone up from N2,000 to N4,000 or N5,000 depending on the gang, while weekly dues, post recruitment, is been reviewed from N200 and N400 to more. Teachers interviewed mentioned a number of other public schools in Asaba were secret-cult gangsterism is prominent. According to another principal from Ugbolu community, on the average, each gang has as few as 4 members or more, with some as many as a 100. Private schools are also facing similar invasion.

Millicent joined Tibi when she was in JSS 2, age 13. A male friend of hers in the same school had slyly introduced her to the group a year earlier in JSS 1. She had been drawn to their unique patois of speaking (a distorted lingo of Pidgin English), the songs they sing during orientation, slangs and code words they use, how they rap, the kind of fun they have and how one day she too would be called ‘Omo Girl’ just like he’s called ‘Omo Boy’ within the gang. On the day of carrying out the ‘mission’, code name for initiation or oath swearing, Millicent paid N2,000 for registration dues including other items specified for the rites. It was the same amount she paid a few months ago to be ‘disfeathered’, code name for denounce, from the group. But all of this is a façade; she’s like a double rogue agent who switches side. She claims to have rejected an offer to be ‘queen’ from JVC to join ‘Whitey’, (known to the general public as White Angel, the female arm of Junior Vikings Confraternity). Only time will reveal.

When Akudo decided to join her gang two and half years ago, three choices were placed before her: be flogged, be ‘nooted’ or pay a fee of N3,500. She chose to be nooted. That day 10 boys had sex with her. In school Akudo is known as the girl who has had sex with the most number of boys. She’s also known to sleep around. Twelve boys in her gang recently denounced and she had hoped to do the same. But the backlash she experienced when she attempted to has made her frightened and powerless. Due to uncontrolled interruption from gang activities, Akudo failed in her last exam. She would have to reseat. But like the rest of their members who often change school when they fail exams, Akudo has chosen to stay away from school.


The temptation is very high for girls who experience strong sexual impulse, even though they may not have had sex, or for girls who are very curious about sex. For these category of girls, if an offer presents itself, they chance of falling for it is very high. Two case examples thought to be rape turned out to be consensual acts following further investigation. One happened inside an abandoned school block during school hours where a student boy had it with a student girl in the presence of a second boy who stood watching. The other happened in SPC by a girl’s boyfriend in the presence of other boys. All of them were school mates. Often the girls are given drugs or under the influence of alcohol when such gang sex (a euphemism for rape) takes place during initiation rites. The girls are therefore exposed to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), pelvic inflammatory diseases, exposure to various drug dependency habits, anti-social behaviours, post traumatic stress disorders, physical and emotional abuse.

These pointers shows that when harassment, bullying, assault and intimidation goes unchecked within the home and in schools, it gives birth to the desire to seek protection from the attacker, bullies, perpetrators or environment that promotes it. This in turn creates the need for the attacked to seek protection from outside themselves that leads to having, and forming a group, or joining one that protects the attacked and their interests.
Often students who are lured into such secret gang-cults are innocent and ignorant of the activities of the gang they joined until it is too late. And when they do, getting out becomes a life threatening move. This fear often paralyses students from leaving or denouncing their membership, and after a while, it becomes a habit to carry out the orders of the group, sinking them further, almost to the point of no return.

Thank you.

Palema007:
Move on

No, drop your mail

fabiano09:
hello I'd love to discuss some business with you ,are you in Lagos ?

Hmmm

I never been in any love kind of relationship with anyone so it may not be the answer which you were looking for.

Call off the marriage:

If you feel that reason is so strong that it will hinder the progress of your relationship, then it is better you call off the marriage.

Don't call off:

I can see that you have some concern for her. So if you think that the reason can be sorted, then don't call it off. Think of how to resolve it.

When I joined college, I had a bunch of people with whom I identified better (our likes and dislikes were same) and another bunch of friends who were just the opposite. But when by the time I was in final year, the people with whom I had differences become my best buddies. By that time, my likes and dislikes were similar to theirs.

Like opposite pole attracts. I believe a relationship gets strong when differences can be turned into likes.

P.S: If I was you, I would choose the second one Good luck with the choice making And happy married life bro

wamiikechukwu:
Keep in mind that most of Nigeria food... Tomatoes for example are source outside Nigeria.

But there is a lot of truth in what we said.... Most silos round the country are empty...

Remember billion of naira were spent to buy these things for palitivies.

And it takes months to cultivate and harvest to fill these silos

Well na southern part of Nigeria always feel the heat of food scarcity.

But it's good news for farmers... They have indeed made a lot of money this period.

Yeah

Miniso:
haba so fast, calm down first..can't we chat first?

it means it not important.

[quote author=cokeryusuf09 post=90796766][/quote]call me

vanida6:
yeah u got it

Since you hardly make calls it will not work for both of us.

Miniso:
i hardly make callz.. while not u pm me the whatsapp numba.. babe

It sounds to me, from the small amount of information you have provided, like there are two things going on here. First, your gf doesn't understand much about how money works to begin with. Therefore, she is inevitably going to misunderstand a great deal about the reasons for your inquiries. She is operating from ignorance. It's like watching a game of football without knowing the rules. Nothing makes sense. It's difficult enough even after you do know the rules.

The solution?
Take the time to teach her about how money works, or send her to a class about it (which might be more successful than you trying). This will take away some of her psychological dependence on you, which you enjoy so much, but in the long run, be much better for you both. It's rather like a company that educates its workers about how the business runs. When it comes time to negotiate, it all works more easily, because the employees understand the big picture, and not just their little piece.

The second problem is likely her feelings of guilt and inadequacy for accepting your money. No one really likes charity. They feel like they should be able to fend for themselves, not live off of someone else. And all of the love in the world, and any protestations about how you like caring for her, will not be likely to change her feelings about this. She probably feels like a kept woman. Because she is.

The solution?
Encourage her to work - at least part-time, so she can earn some money of her own. This would be best and enable her to increase her self-respect and remove any residual resentment (however unearned) she feels toward you. If for some reason I cannot imagine, this is not feasible, she could at least do charity work of some kind that would give her feelings of worth and accomplishment. But the component of earning money would be - as you know - very valuable, since it directly connects to esteem from self and others.

If you are are unwilling to take these steps with her, then I might think that your relationship is very much a function of an extremely unhealthy dependence on you and that it is inevitable that it fails - and that what you are seeing now is simply the signs of that beginning to happen.

Maybe

angelfallz:
Lol he must have x-ray vision.

No

TheCongo2:
Are you on WhatsApp?

Call me

Miniso:
wats ur whatsapp number sexy lady

Thank you for the question

I adore funny men. The ability to perceive humor in a situation is a gift. Humor is truly healing. Laughter is healing.

When I was studying earlier in my life, he clarified my own feelings by saying that in the heart of laughter, you break free from the dream. You break free in that instant from all of your perceived oppression and limitations.

Laughter is wings, sprouting in an instant and taking you into a form of freedom, even if it only lasts a minute. You see, joy is our natural state, not the heaviness, and negativity we must deal with in this world.

Laughter connects us to our natural joy and innocence.
Laughter is an expression of our true expansiveness.
Laughter is leverage. Situations can feel like quicksand, until somehow there is cause for laughter.
Laughter is leverage, uplifting to the heart, and an instantly new perspective. It makes a very big difference in how we may perceive and interpret a thing, although we may not comprehend it at the time of innocent laughter, or laughing over something that catches us off guard. We never see the focus of what made us laugh the same way again.

When a comedian speaks about a common frustration we all share with the capacity towards humor, there is a release valve that everyone shares. To be able to laugh at oneself is actually healing. The ability to make someone laugh is like being a magician. You can take something and shift it into a whole new reality. It may not seem like humor is that important. It comes so easily at times. However, that is evidence of how true it is to the lightness of our hearts.

I adore someone who has the wit and comprehension to be funny. It is not only fun, it is a sign of intelligence.

In that instance of laughter, you are free. Who would not love one who can impart that gift? I cherish it.

Hi I got your pm cant access it. Kindly reach me on the number on my profile.

TheCongo2:
By the way, is there any indication she regret her action?

Yes. I hate chatting.

bmdmixer:
okay but u not on whatapp