₦airaland Forum

Welcomme:
Op, let me give u a revelation. If you dare leave that girl, you will die on the day you are marrying another girl. Be warned! Oloriburuku somebody. You no go die well bro if u try that nonsense.

hmm that's too harsh

Davash222:
Obviously, you used the girl as a ladder to get to where you are today.

What are the things that are stopping you from loving her?? You can always help her to become the woman of your dream.

No one is perfect or complete. It rains everywhere.

Be wise.

it was not a planned something

JustBeing:
I know his type and have personally dealt with one. They use you and suck you dry. Not just financially, but emotionally, verbally, sexually till you have nothing left to give. They lead you on and wait till you break up with them, he doesn't have the balls to break up with her.

I pray God gives the girl the discernment to leave his sorry ass cos this guy has the traits of a narcissist and no one can truly be happy with narcissists cos they don't have the capacity to experience emotions such as love and empathy.

Atleast she is still young... Nothing like I wasted her time...

obytex:
Guy. I must tell you your village people are seriously after you.
Imagine what many of us are looking for. I don't want to insult you but has it been u looked for job for years u will appreciate what the uncle did for you. I don't normally write on Nairaland. I.e. (I'm among the comment reader association). But let me advice u for ur own good. There is no way you can stay with a lady for 5years and expect the love to be as before. Don't tell me you have never loved her, what u are experiencing is saturation and cos you thought u are fulfilled cos of the job. But let me shock you. If you leave that lady, u will surely regret it. The new lady that is turning up your head will some day come to the point of saturation in ur life. But disclpine, commitment and purpose keep us going in relationships. Pls if the lady is good without any bad character, marry her for ur own good. Spice up the relationship and move far away from her people. Cos if you do otherwise without any serious cause, I'm not a prophet of doom but Mark my words. It must surly hit u in a very bad way.

Thanks

generationz:
can you do business?
why don't you search for a better job or start a business.

When this is settled and you have full financial independence from her family you Can give the relationship a few months break. Not necessarily to break up with her but just reduce the calls and focus on your new job.

That way if you truely have love somewhere in your heart for the girl , it will be rekindled. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If you marry her still serving her family YOU WILL CHEAT ON HER . You might even begin to despise her. Not because she reminds you of what she has done but because everyones body language expects you to be grateful

I don't think you are a bad person like everyone says. You have been honest so far in your story and you felt remorse when you set her up.

I also think you have falling in love with another woman. Which is OK. since you aren't married to this lady yet.

Let me tell you something op, don't mind this men on nairalanders coursing you. Most are hypocrites . Everyday, we hear girls crying of how they were there for their boyfriend and when he became rich he dumped them Tell me , are those boyfriends ghosts? not at all . The same men cursing you are guilty. Many cheat on their wives too.



The only thing I'll advice you not to do is waste the babes time

Marrying her out of guilt is a no no.
Both of you will regret it. Your kids too will suffer for it.

Thanks I Appreciate

Opto1:
Fake DNA genotype test if you haven't done one before. Propose to her and then followed by the test.

Set yourself up, get raped in her presence when she next she visit......... Boom, you are HIV positive ( fake test too).

Or better still some stupid family tradition concerning marriage, just make something up. Breaking up in Nigeria is so easy. You are now too beautiful, I'm not doing again

Thought of such things but she is a stubborn type n wontvgive a damn

generationz:
My dear marriage is a life time journey
too long for you to marry anyone out of pity.

The best thing is to breakup with her and deal with the consequences like a man
personally I understand you. don't let nairalanders make you feel guilty

No man wants to owe any woman anything. it emasculates him. Especially when he is a glorified houseboy like you have become.



Its even easier for women to do this than men

too much expectations destroys love. Love thrives on fantasy. keep the fire of fantasy blowing and the person will do anything for you. Bring them back to reality and they will be bored.


but my question is when you were sexing her all through five years were you in love with her or what? why wait this long to pull out?

Its not fair on the girl but I'll advice you get another job or business and let her move to a man who loves her.

Hmmmm.... Thanks so much that u understand me... I love this term you used : Glorified houseboy, that's exactly what is happening, they don't care about my own personal activities if they need my attention they expect me to just appear...
Not that I didn't love her, I loved her so much but I started feeling as if she is my sibling..cuz of how close I am to the family... It was not a planned something, I see her as a sister now

IntrovertedK:
you wanna be a man? Resign from the job her step Dad got you and walk away into a new life of your very own where you make your own decisions for your very own self. Chikena

Thanks so much...

luvyaself95:
That Karma for You, You Reap what you sow.. if a girl love me the way your girl love you what else i want in this life.. even God Love Us and Want Us To Love Him Return... If the girl family behave somehow to you in future it must be you behave anyhow to their daughter in the first place...
I hope you get my points..
Oya Go Propose To her tomorrow morning ...

Like... I get you loud and clear...
But propose tomorrow morning.

THANKS MAN

raphemmanuel:
Op raphretle, there is a big sense from what Generalnomercy told u.
If you break up with that girl u MIGHT not end well. ( I am not wishing bad please).
The mother, uncle that have invested on u and the girl won't be happy with u, and the may go extra miles to make sure they deal with u.

I wanna tell you a true story of what happened in my own area.
A guy fell in love with a girl, the girl so much love the guy that she invested on the guy to the extent that the guy opened a very popular school in my area and was driving a nice car.
But something happen, this girl was hoping to get married to this guy which lead her to keep investing on the guy so the both of them can live large.

This guy secretly engaged another girl in the absence of the girl that invested on him cos the girl travelled. The wedding card was out, everyone waiting on the day the guy will tie the knot.

This information get to the girl that have invested on this guy.
The next thing that we heard was the guy have been assassinated.
Though the assassins wasn't caught, but from the way the news was flying in my area, it was the girl that planned it.

That's karma for you.

But raphretle:
How will you date someone for good 5 years, u just wake up one morning and start saying u don't love the girl for no reasonable reason ?

Abey u don see another girl wey fine pass her.
OP I must tell you this: You are trying to light up a fire that may burn you, no put-on fire wey u no fit quench because now the uncle and mother are seriously involved.

If controlling you is ur major reason for not getting married to her, u can relocate to a far distance where the uncle and mother can't easily reach you if u marry the girl.

THIS IS MY PIECE OF ADVICE FOR YOU

I have heard you.. thanks
but at the mention of this KARMA of a thing makes me feel somehow

SmellySperm:
bro am in ur shoe rytnow....but am now Happy because she just cheated on me and i now hv a backup to ditch her,happy me

Congrats you made it

Generalnomercy:
If you do that to her, you'll never hear cry of a baby in your house.


Go and ask people who did similar thing.

If you drop her, you'll never end well.

Forget all these people encouraging you not to marry her, when you'll pay the price they won't be there with you and you may end up going back to look for her but will she forgive you That's for the gods for now...


Find reasons to love her like before.

The family made you a finished product because of their daughter and you suddenly found another girl who didn't contribute anything to your well being.

Honestly a guy like you needs to be dealt with seriously.

Superstitious believe....

daddytime:
Okay young man I'm that Uncle you thought was old school and couldn't be on a forum like this...

Now listen up and listen up real good..

How about we start off by you first returning the job I helped you with including every penny of salaries and allowances till date before we now proceed to the second most important of all and that is...

Get a calculator and start calculating the number of times you bleeped my dear niece...include the times you came and never did. When you have a figure I'll tell you what amount to multiply it by...

So you think you would use us all and sell my niece a dummy hope. ..you must be joking my friend...

You two die here....

Exactly what am trying to avoid, To be controlled by the family for giving me a job.

Actuarydeji:
You're an ingrate! When you're showing wrong feelings for their daughter, they thought their daughter has seen a responsible guy and that's why they invested on you. Men usually depicts their real character once they have good source of income. Malu like you, you better marry her now before Sango fire you

go n sleep...

phintohlar:
And which baga dare call u wicked? No marry woman out of pity oo, the ones wey Marry out of love sef never enjoy am finish na out of pity con remain. Why did u go into a relationship with the lady gan sef in the 1st place if no be say something dey worry u.

I loved her..so starting the relationship ain't a problem..

I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you like,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

I think d real behind this moniker is a dude....

went to toast this particular girl and all I could get from her as response was a full list of ladies av toasted and dating in chronological order...
That day regretted not accepting my grandfather juju wey I go use vanish

see her head like Mr Bone's gwara gwara balls

I travelled to China and I got some few b*tches to calm me down... But guess what the toto just dey water water...
Since then I don't look at Oyibo for sex again.. I just wait anytime am in Naija....

I just count my heartbeat... n Chairman calmed in secs

HERE IS THE TRANSLATION...

ASALAMU ALAIKUM (peace be upon you)

After greetings in accordance to the tenets of Islam, my people, for god's sake if you hear this or see this pls pray for me cuz of what has happened to me, it is not my wish for this to happen, to be frank if my parents hear this they won't be happy with me cuz they trained me well..
Am sorry for not giving you full details, but I ask for your prayers for those seeking God's forgiveness...
Thank you..

too much of heat in there... maybe she get k leg the laps always on friction...



Her Skin is WEARING OUT...

lol

Love indeed

Ladies and Gentlemen, let's here your views on this.. Can you date or Marry an Albino?

did you ask us when you were buying the phone for her The ex is offering you a challenge... Accept his challenge and face him at wrestlemania period...

What happened to her husband.. are you sure she didn't kill him

they think they are wise...
if they see husband material in you, they will book you for future use.. while they go on with their life expecting the booked guy to wait for them...
Ladies we just dey look wuna ooo .

As for me I be confirm husband material #10000 yards...

guy you dey fear the mustache ne Sha women with mustache based on past records are wicked n heartless...

hmmm

guy run before she go put you inside short maltina bottle wey be say space no go dey for you to shake...
BE YE WARNED