Privatepart00:
Yes I can be just friends with a girl if actually I want same. Not when I approached you for ministry kpanishing you telling me “let’s just be friends”
Funny enough, most times I am seeing a girl, no word comes from my lips about dating or not.Before she knows I have kpanish and on the road again.

That is how they like it actually. They like being treated like a whoreee.

For example...

Boy A to girl: You are an amazing lady that I will like to spend time with in the future. The most gorgeous my eyes have ever seen. He does this so often...

Boy B to same girl: Look at those ass...boobs so round and I feel like placing my tongues on there. she smiles and laugh... after a while, he disappears and reappears.

She will prefer boy B to boy A. Why? Boy B tends to make her feel sexual desired but A doesn't. That is why when you talk dirty with most girls, chances of banging her if you can sexually arouse her within that chat or period is over 80%. That is why they have guys who they are not dating banging them so often cos the guy actually does not want anything to do with them apart from bringing out that bittch out and banging the hell out of it.

Jack005:
Three days after.

good sign... I don't expect mine to be 3 days lol.. it could be months later due to due impression i gave. but whatever it, I bet that I would have completely forgotten her sooner. So, It is all good.

Jack005:
By the way, when last did you guys speak? Mine called some days back and before ending the call "she said she wanted to hear from me as i've decided not to call again.. I replied thanks for the call,lol.

What was the duration between when you rejected her "just friend" offer and when she made that call?

Jack005:
In a nutshell,Don’t beg for her to give you a chance, EVER. She made a conscious decision to not be anything more than friends with you. You must play with the irrational, illogical side of her personality. You’ll do much better if you start putting less focus on her and more focus on you. That's how it ought to be and I'm glad you are taking such steps. By the way, when last did you guys speak? Mine called some days back and before ending the call "she said she wanted to hear from me as I've decided not to call again.. I replied thanks for the call, lol.

Good... she is just looking for your attention because you probably gave it to her while she didn't get much from other guys. So, she is trying to make you feel that she still likes you and wants you around. LIES! If you make mistake to ask her out again on the basis of that, she will REJECT YOU!

Now looking at your own case, I am glad I left an impression that she should ONLY reach out to me IF she changes her mind.

While this might feel like I am waiting for her because I can't get it from someone else or that I am trying to be manipulating or force her to do my will, the main reason is that It will help me avoid what your own girl is trying to do with you through that call. I had to do this because, from experience, THEY ALWAYS COME BACK seeking your attention again (just as your has done), hoping that you will be available to grease their attention vacuum machine

It is a filter to avoid someone coming back in the hope that she can toy with my feelings again when she truly does not want me romantically. So, there is no point in hanging out and deceiving me.

I made it clear do not call or reach out EXCEPT you change your mind because I have decided not to communicate with her again as it seems my decision to draw close to her when she wanted me to do exactly that has been converted into making it look like I was the needy one all along.

Oh, mine happened days ago... which means, mine is recent and I have not even replied that her question: "Are you sure you will sort yourself out"? I read it and never replied before I deleted everything. She has not called and we have not communicated since then.

I know she would be shocked to see this side of me. She wasn't expecting me to reject her offer and hoped I would accept in desperation. She probably felt she has that power and has had me where she wants because, I started acting that way, like messaging her, being overly friendly, calling her weekly, and all that. Girls don't like such, even if they act initially that they won't disregard it... they ALWAYS do take it for granted. Scarcity is more valuable here. So, the lesser the presence, the fonder the heart.

What she didn't know was that I was very much in control of my emotions and wasn't acting like a teen. I only did all that because of how we started and even when she had withdrawn, I still tried to spice things up. I am someone that is very consistent and I love to reciprocate. I didn't see the need to avoid her when she wanted us to draw closer to each other.

It was like a case of someone wanting you but now turn to be acting like you are the needy one instead mutual effort that you guys started with. Such bullshit!

I do like her for real because of prospect and career orientation but not the way she was thinking it like I can't do without her or that I was some emotionally desperate guy.

Jack005:
She became upset of course, I mean very upset because she started complaining bitterly and started hanging up calls on me. When she suggested we became friends ,I just said OK, but then I stopped calling or texting her, before then we speak and text everyday, although she calls me more than I do call her, but our communication was top notch, all the signs were there... This is a girl that couldn't stay a day without speaking with me.. In fact if I also do not call her for a day, she gets angry,all the green lights she showed, but when i popped up the question with high expectations she decided to friend zone me.. Like WTF!

This is exactly what happened to me. She gave me all the lights. There was even a time she asked me if I am withdrawing. i asked why such a question and she said because I took time to reply to her texts. Do you see?

Another time she said she made her hair and would love to show me. I said okay, send me the pics and let me see.. and she did. You see again?

She has always known that I like her. In fact, she started saying someone is falling in love and called me loverboy for a while...

There are more that I could write but initially, she wanted my attention really bad and when I eventually gave it, she withdrew...

Like in your own case, she felt bad. She felt bad because she would have loved to put you in that friend zone for the mere fun of watching you give her all the attention and girlfriend treaties without touching her.

Rejecting that "just friends" offer breaks that power and reduces her options. It is like a table with two legs on the right and two legs on the left to give stability and balance. Those legs represent you and another guy in her pool of options. So when you reject it, you end up destroying the table legs on either the left side or right side... which will make the table lose balance and stability, and whatever was placed (her confidence, her pride, her guts, her control, etc) on the table will fall. This is why they don't like it when you reject the friendship offer.

It bruises their ego exactly the same way their rejection of dating you bruise your own ego. So It is fair.

In my own case, after I had written that I will not accept her offer and will respectfully grant her choice because it is her right, I said "I will sort myself out" she replied "Are you sure you will sort yourself out?" Why is that important and why is she asking?

Of course, she didn't like the fact that I was leaving as suggested by my messages or the fact that I rejected her offer. But I had to do that cos accepting her offer is of no value to me, absolutely none but it is more of value to her. It will boost her ego, boost her pride, her guts, it will make her feel so special about herself and makes her feel powerful but rejecting it deflates those emotions in her. It made her feel she too can be rejected and that I am I can actually do away with her, contrary to the idea I am all over her (I actually made her felt that way lol).

It may not sink in immediately cos pride is a powerful thing. But as days go by, she would start thinking : "so this guy really mean to leave me?"

What will I do next? I would move out and get other girls, not for dating but just friends, hang out more with them until I have completely forgotten about this current girl.

Jack005:
OP, you did the right thing.. A couple of weeks back a girl I like also tried to friend zone me, but I had to let her know that I'm not in for such albeit through my actions . I cant invest my time and attention on a fruitless journey.

what was her response or reaction when you rejected her friendship offer?

Agricaddict:




How do you know she's regretting it, it almost shows you still think about her very much

yes, some girls are in silent mode... But won't tell you.

doggedfighter:
How does she view you?

I thought I had replied this.

Well, when a woman says she just wants to be friends, even when she knows you want her, it often boils down to how she sees that guy.

There are many reasons: perhaps the guy has let himself down too much... By being too friendly and available. Women don't rate such guys...

It could also be he does not exude some masculinity...

But it will shock u to know that this girl talked about here was once wanting me to be closer to her and complained about my withdrawal... Which was a trap. When I drew closer, she was now the one that withdrew.

So that may have been the problem...

So recently a girl that I had something for tried to Friendzon me... but offering me the "Let's just be friends thing"

I told her NO... I can't be just friends with her and I don't do just friends with a woman I want something with, which she had known long before now. What I want is what I want and I know what I want.

I told her to stick to her decision and I will sort myself out...

She then asks me "are you sure you will sort out yourself"? Honestly, this question made me confused and I do not know why she would care about that. But I refused to reply to her after that. There was no reply from me and I considered everything should end, while I cut ties with her.

I deleted everything about her and chose to move on.

I know a lot of men would accept the friendship offer and some people might say I should have accepted to be just her friend but the truth is, accepting it means accepting to be friend zoned forever and you will NEVER get out of it. Being just friends means she selfishly just wants all the goodies you bring without you touching her.

It is better to walk away with your shoulder high than allow that.

Did I reject her offer because I didn't really like her? I actually do like it her but know that it is hard to convince these women about your intentions. the more you do, the more they think otherwise.

Would rejecting her offer turn the table in my favour? I doubt because I have never heard any man turned it after reaching this stage and that means I should move on forever and not look back. But if you know any guy or story in which the man successfully turn the table after rejecting the "just be friend" offer, feel free to share it here.

Also, accepting her friendship offer is of more value to her and none to me. It expands her options and grants me none. I would rather reduce that option by 1 than make it 2.

But what it does for me is, it will change how she views me for sure, even if she does not admit it. A girl telling you she just wants to be friends means, she views you in a certain way and me rejecting it would do justice to whatever she thought of me by reversing that image.

So, that is it...

okpelu:
The purpose of creating this account is to ask for advice

I've been dating this girl for a year plus and everything seemed to be going great till this year. She seemed distant, and blamed it on me becoming distant too.. so I told her we should try to make things better. For weeks we have been going up and down over the same things. Then recently, we went to a party and all through the party, she was looking at other guys while I was talking to her. I was pissed. We quarreled about it and a few other things. She was going back to school and I told her I was coming to see her in school the next day. Her reaction pissed me off. She wasn't keen. So I said I was going to see her. The next day I pretended I was there. And all of a sudden, I found that she blocked me from all corners. I was alarmed. I tried calling her with several numbers. She blocked all. Omo I was pissed. When we finally spoke, she said she needed a break. I was shocked. I take care of her. I pamper her. I send her money over regularly. I don't ask her for anything. She then proceeded to tell me our quarrels dey affect her mental health. I was extremely shocked. Extremely. I said no. She said then we should break up. I agreed. After I changed my mind, begged her, and then she tells me I should give her space to heal. I said how long. She tells me till December 25. I should call and find out if she is still interested.... That she is 80 percent sure she would say yes. I want to know what y'all think


And yes you can say whatever you like

Take my advice, go get another girl... You can pick a very pretty girl that is finer than her and make her feel special... you can arrange with the pretty babe to act like your babe as if you guys are dating...

NEWBIN:
We have known each other for about six months now. I proposed to her in March 2020 and kept telling me she was thinking about it.

Just yesterday, she said yes to my proposal and I was so excited. When I met her yesterday evening, she told me Friday (June 26) is her birthday and that, she expects a lot of gifts and mobile money from me. My bowels became full instantly so left to go ease myself.

I have lost interest. Show me a way to outsmart this fraudster of a lady, thanks.

LMAO... Thank God you have seen she is gaming you. I didn't give my girl anything aside happy birthday this month and we are cool.

That girl no love you at all. The best way is to just stop all communication and move on. THIS is why I like having backup to avoid rubbishes like these.

omonnakoda:

Hope you know that aviation is on the exclusive list?
Did that stop them building airports?

Hope you know the same applies to quarantine
Did that stop the governors making quarantine orders.

Power/electricity is on the exclusive list does that stop states generating power?

Don't just go about parroting stuff you don't comprehend

Okay oga know it all... it is not on exclusive list, why is the state government consulting with FG before proceeding...

Go sleep...

omonnakoda:


Obvious ?

Our problem in Nigeria is our unrivalled capacity for self deception.


1. Has this been costed.?
2. How much will it cost?
3. Is there a budget?
4. Who will pay? Has the Federal Government committed to put down One Naira?
5. When will it be completed
6. Without answers to these questions how can we talk of "acceleration".
By definition acceleration there is an implication of TIME?

We heard that it was APPROVED when Akpabio was in office.
What is new?

The state government has to work. If it is waiting for Buhari's government it won't happen.
The government should find serious partners and put down some money too.

Hope you know things like sea ports are in exclusive list of the FG?

tommenoh:
I looked through the comments attached to this article and I shudder at the thoughtlessness of our people!over ineptness,some are still backing this craze display of irresponsibility?? For ages,we have been ear stormed with the incoming sea port actualization and till date,nothing is on ground but pictures of documents being signed,in abuja?when do we begin to hold the government to accountability over its words?until we realize that we are supposed to be watchdogs over our funds,corruption will continue to thrive.round pegs will be put into square holes!words will be used to complete projects that ought to have been long finished before the drums of celebration, can be rolled out.
This is one area that can launch Akwa ibom onto a home run,and yet there is no urgency to actualize this project but some are lauding this slow approach to meeting the needs of the state.
Stop attacking yourselves here and direct your attentions on a government, playing politics with the future of our children!

bro, see, anything with Nigerian government is like that, especially the federal government. The road is still very long... very very long.

omonnakoda:

Accelerated how?

What does that mean?

What exactly?

you just want to keep running in circles by asking for answers that are already obvious, dont you?

omonnakoda:

I don't understand what you mean by FG moving. Moving how?

he meant that when you compare LDSP and ADSP, Akwa Ibom sea port is being accelerated. Me think that Akwa Ibom governor is putting more efforts and pressure to make that happen and may be their Lagos counterparts were being relaxed.

Neonspook:



There's alot of tedious bureaucracy but at least progress is ongoing. They need to finish these last steps so constructing starts. The FEC should also add a north south railline to this project. It's the logical thing to do. They approved new raillines for Lekki and Bonny seaports so Ibom deep seaport shouldn't be the exception.

That is Nigeria for you. Things must be hard to be deemed it worthy. terrible

davodyguy:

No

Thanks for the reply. Any date in sight for the call off?

what about interstate travels, has that been called off?

bikefab:
Some people don't know when to keep quiet.

u think it is all Nigerians that know the damage that internet can do to them? lol.. i can bet only 1% knows how powerful the internet is.... this one is gonna and will be picked up asap.

MISTAICEY02288:
Dope.... The Ọmọ bàbá Olówó turn Olówó himself. A man with the heart of Gold... Let's face it, if this dude hadn't come from a Wealthy home, he would still be a Multimillionaire he is today with the way he has hustled his way to the top in the Nigerian Music industry. This guy, not minding the fact that he came from a rich background still stayed committed to the hustle and managed to win the hearts of millions of people in Nigeria and across the globe.

Later, one idiot that calls himself the African giant allowed his own fame get into his head and started beefing Davido, claiming his father bought him the fame and wealth.. How more stupid can a person be? And to even think that I used to love the mumu before his sudden pride makes it so sickening..

God bless Davido as he continues to be a blessing to others. More success on the way for you. Enjoy your new home man. Nothing do you. You worked for this..

Davido is real, since the way he handle election and all the help he has been giving people, i became a fan..

Davash222:
Are there no medical practitioners in the North? Are they restricted from practising in US? Or is it Haram to practise in US Asking for my neighbor, sha.

2 years ago, I ask them here on nairaland to list what they have achieved for Nigeria globally... 2 years after, they have not been able to fill the spots...



https://www.nairaland.com/4361516/northerners-what-international-achievements-nigeria

SavageResponse:
This charcoal export business is one of the worst businesses a person can do as a first timer!

care to explain?

youngvikthor:
My brother was staying with my aunty since 2017 so early this year he decided to rent his own apartment after saving some money

So January this year, he told my mum that I should come and stay with him that he will look for work for me which he did. Since my arrival to this place, my cosin sister alway visits us. The house is not far from ours. She will come in name of helping us to cook.

While she and my brother will be touching themselves even when am around, most people in our compound thought she is my brother's girlfriend. I also noticed some used condoms in our room and my brother did not have girlfriend.

Fast forward to yesterday Monday, I went to work
and our boss said we should go back due to the issue of this covid 19, I reach House only for me to see my sister lying dawn with just singlet, playing game with my brother's phone.

And my brother was in the bathroom. I don't really know what to do, if I should tell my mother or not, my aunty is such a kind person she at times gives us food stuff and even money and I don't want my brother to get angry with me.

Please I need your help, he is 26, I'm just 21

Buy another sim card and use that to open secret.. Throw away the sim card after

2buffagain:


As a sister here once said, "A girl who truly likes you, won't ask you for money...unless it's bad and you are her last resort."
Na woman talk am. Believe that sister. Peep that one game from her, and most of you will be alright.

If a girl really likes you, she'll be too busy trying to think of ways to be an asset to your life or impress you...not a taker.

A pastor said same thing in a video I watched. I had screenshot it and save it in my Google drive because the video was subtitled....

My current girl does not ask me for money but I am already used to always giving money to women and so, due to current realities, it makes me feel awkward that I have not sent her a dime for some time now due to global pandemic and a few hitches here and there.

But when I recall she told me that she is not my responsibility, I heave a sigh of relieve for real. She a very hard working lady.


What you have said it is the truth. If a girl ask for money or expect you to always give, she does not truly like a guy and she will be quick to dismiss you if there is none forth coming. At least I can say I had experienced this before.

God bless you for these words...

SharpJoe:


We have over 15 billion dollars available. There is no way the Federal Government of Nigeria can not secure test kits from countries like South Korea, Japan etc. If they want to, they would have gotten.

Bro, most of the guys managing our affairs are not as intelligent as we assume. When you take a cursory look at Nigeria, you have to conclude that the fact that people know how to read and write is not a proof of intelligence.

SharpJoe:
cc: ImadeUReadThis

The Macron government refuses to apply mass testing, as practiced with success in South Korea and Germany.

If you follow the article, you will see the same thing happening in Nigeria.

All governments are pushing for lockdown in Nigeria instead of mass testing and treating with chloroquine, Azithromycin and zinc sulphate.

It is a mystery even after the Lagos government got 10 billion naira, they are yet to start mass testing.

Test kits are in short supply, especially in affected countries who need them more than exporting. I am expecting replies from a few companies in coming days.

This is where indigenous test kits would have been more feasible

lastchild:
Are you sure this Corona virus is not malaria, this one it's killing white people like chicken and very slow in killing Africans and Can be cured with chloroquine

the creators had an agenda and Africa was not on their to do list

Shugavee:
we ain’t friends. I ain’t friends with people who call me names . Insults ain’t new to me but that friend part , don’t work for me

madam... u seem not to like people tell you the truth. I am not surprised. are you no a Nigerian? na una nature na... cos i called u a friend does not mean I am desperate to have a friend. i don't care what you feel about my word... it does not change the fact about your views on this issue...

and lastly, we are no furking friends

Shugavee:
we r not friends.

cos u do not know this handle...if i send u email now, u go see our chat from 2018 or thereabout lol.. have a nice day but stop by hypocritical dazzal

Shugavee:
lol just read it , tell her to cut ties with him , forgive her !! If she keeps contact dump her

you b my friend but i go tell you point blank... u are a hypocrite. are u not the same person going around talking shiit about men? but now u want him to forgive her.

as it can be seen, the other guy has power over her because he is treating her like trash... many of you ladies prefer that kind of guys and will always succumb to his will, especially if he is a good furker... I speak from experience because I have a few girls who I can furk if I want even when I never take them serious lol...

Patotelli:
It happened just last week as the government out hold on all tertiary Institutions. I traveled for some business hustle. At around 4pm on the Sunday I called my babe and we chatted for some time then someone coughed in the background which I asked who was that she replied a friend, I said ok..

Getting back to school o as to pack up things and finally go home. She came to my place and while trying to make love with her she said oh babe am not comfortable now. Like my conscious is priming me. I stopped and tried to let her talk about it but she waved it off and said she just wanted to see my reaction. Well as man be we continued after we were through she was like 'boo what if I tell you I someone has sex with me what would you do'.i just did as if I didn't hear what she said, I first left her and went to the sitting room to take water from the fridge and during to calm my nerves and be alright. When I came back to the room I asked her what she said the other time she just said oh nothing she's just afraid to say what she wanted to say,right then I know something's up. I entered motivation mood and started hyping her how good she has been to me, how she have changed me to a better person and how positive this relationship has been, how we have been best couples on campus and people envy our Union. Truth be told we love each other I even opened a business for her. She sells ladies footwear's and bags all imported from outside country.. before I know it she started crying that babe pls I'm sorry there's something that happened to me on Sunday and it would end our relationship, I was like nothing you want to say that is new in this world and that has not happened before, that no one is perfect. Well she said her ex chatted her up and was like pls he's down and needed some help that she should come help her out at home. On getting there the guy is was watching movie in his room. Well she's there already and sit down. All the guy was saying wa how he missed her and regretted cheating in her and all that before she could know it the guy pinned her down through struggle and all that the guy had his way with her..
I was so devastated don't know what to do at first because all I was thinking is that after all we've been through and done together our relationship will be a year by may, you still went to be laid by your Ex, asked how many times has it happened in our relationship she said 3 times, the first two when we just started that she still feels for the guy then.but now she don't feel for him again and that will be the only time she visited him since she got serious with me. but as someone who is matured and experienced I just kept my calm because she started crying and throughout the night she cried her eyes out.. I just remained mute till morning. The next day I told her we need a break but it got worse she fell and hit her head on some table.. I had to take her and apply some medication on her..

Why I came in here is for you fellow nairaLanders to advice me on what to do.
1st I love her
2nd she's known to my mom and brother
3rd I've draft out how my life is going to be spent with her forever.
4th can I continue dating her and tell her to cut ties with the guy.

Pls help me, what do I do and not do. What do I tell her and not tell her..

Thanks plss

Lol... girls in that age and category do not know what they want bro... leave her. One of the mistakes young guys make is that they play husband roles way too early. WTF is you already draft how your life is gonna be spent with her for ever. That is a mistake.. dude, just furk her and leave for the next guy to furk... that is what you should be doing now. stop playing husband roles...