₦airaland Forum

FreeIgboho:
FALSE!!! Dating does not involve in-laws and their obligations, neither does it involve setting up a homestead. Once you call it marriage expectations and obligations skyrocket. Don't be a fool and get into it thinking you'd simply avoid those obligations and expectations!

Brother mi, put eye for ground before you date, dont goan pick up a liability as a wife or handicaps as in-laws. Even with a 7 figure income, hbp go still finish you. My small advice for you

FreeIgboho:
Bros, bottom line, make sure u r somewhat financially stable b4 getting married. Simple common sense and you are arguing it! You'd rather marry without following any societal protocol of a proper marriage, and be taking contraceptives, and be avoiding in-laws, etc.
Nothing people no go argue!

You are just making blind assertions simply to justify your flawed conviction. ts alright, besides, ts your prerogative.

If you can date, you can marry. Its a simple fact

FreeIgboho:
How can u be telling a blatant lie?! I said SOME men not most. It is simple maths. Just as what would happen if one woman started marrying multiple men.



Bros, the point is YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET MARRIED! It is not like when someone dies or other unavoidable situations. You can't even say u r doing it to have kids because u said you'd avoid having kids. So u r getting married just to be a societal misfit??!!

So, some men remain unmarried in the old days where love is not even a criteria due to lack of women to marry ??
Your assertions are mischievous and equally lugubrious



So if one gets married without your listed points, he becomes a societal misfit ??
Na wa for this kinda reasoning o.

I shouldn't bother engaging you in a discussion, its pointless. Live your life at your own pace bro. No need beating this horse further, e don die already.

FreeIgboho:
I know u r not too dumb to see the flaw in what u r saying. There are about equal number of men and women born. If some men married many women, some men would necessarily be unmarried. It's simple math.
Once again u r talking like someone who lives alone on an island. Marriage comes with certain societal expectations. You CAN'T not try to meet them, just like u CAN'T just put your dead in the ground in Igbo land without spending money - as moslems can do.

You did say rush into marriage - that's what u r doing when u marry when u r not ready to meet societal expectations of a normal marriage.

Just look at your reasoning. Your first paragraph states categorically that most men remain unmarried because women to marry is finished. Does it make sense ??

Oga its not about living on an island. One cannot please society in everything, one cannot even please himself completely, let alone society. Stop thinking myopic oga. You can do burial anywhere in the world on a low budget. FYI i'm an igbo person and have witnessed several 'small' burials. Person wey never see go just dey yarn. It depends largely on your root family. While some will insist, some will consider. There is no law written on stone with regards to ceremonies. Sometimes, i wonder how people just reason. Are you marrying your wife because of societal expectations ??.
That is just plain stupid. The only thing society demands of you is to be civil in your marriage, no quarrels or disturbing the peace. I'v seen nigerian couples that have decided not to even give birth. Some have decided to live in the village, some have decided to live off-grid. Who the F lives to please society

Guy change your perspective so that you can be happy. Live, dont just exist.

YoungLionken:
The Taliban takeover, the effects on the helpless citizens, especially women and underaged girls.. Serial killings, corruption and bribery in highest order and the world welfare at large..

But, like seriously, is this what we should be bothered about right now ?..

Chairman, oya bring up topic make we discuss. Dont run o, or i'll troll you, labelling you a clout chasing charlatan.

Rubbiish:
You are just beating about the bush and didn't even answer my question! How else would she have gotten such percentage of bill gate wealth if not through divorce? Do u think love for money is limited to age?? A lady who went to rent a private island worth USD132k per day is that the type of woman u say what she would need that amount of money for? I laugh u...

Your mind is made up on money, i rest my case. So someone will give up companionship and relationship over the same money even if you pick the other. You nor include gates 'supposedly' extra marital affairs. Abeg, i cant even flog this horse again. Its pointless

Rubbiish:
How else would she have gotten that percentage of wealth from bill gate if not through divorce?? Please don't quote me if u can't use your head!

Use my head you say ??
Your words are myopic and rather lugubrious to say the least. At her age, what does she need that much money for that she couldn't get from him. Only her surname could fetch her what ever she needed. My brother, she can still get whatever money can buy and still stay married to him. My guy, be open minded and practical. You dont have to sound/act African in everything

Rubbiish:
Divorcing bill gate was the only way she could get money from him. It is still all about the money. Their way of life is different from ours, if it was in Nigeria, she wouldn't do that as it will make her poor. Money is very important in life, let alone marriage. If u are married, let your husband stop providing money for basic necessities like subscription, light, feeding, education etc and how your attitude will naturally change towards him.

"Was the only way she could get money from him"

Abeg, in trying to defend our claim, make we dey try scrutinze our words properly

FreeIgboho:
I'm being very pragmatic. U r the one talking as if you live on an island and not in society. In the old days that u mentioned marriage involved having money - the rich married many wives while some poor had none. Mattiage always involved bride price and ceremonies and inviting society to witness your union.
BTW everything u listed above can be accomplished without marriage. So again, why rush into marriage NOW? Why??

How many people in the old days that stayed unmarried because of wealth ??
You rightly said, the wealthy married many because they can cater for them, the less privileged ones married as their might could carry. Who are you even doing parties for sef, na wa o. Are you living for the society ??

You say everything i listed can be achieved without being married, did you see where i initially wrote legal

My guy, i ddnt say rush into marriage now. I said if you can date her, then you can marry her

The comment i quoted was centered on this.

I'm not married and i'm not dating. When i can do one, then i can do both. Thats my conviction

FreeIgboho:
See the bolded below

I'll marry
1. To legalise my relationship (bf/gf)
2. For companionship
3. To build a home
4. To have a partner especially in old age
5. To have children that will also provide the above (in due time)

In marriage, money is important but marriage transcends money my brother. Our fathers before our grandfathers married with little or nothing except large farmlands. Standards were low then, nobody was thinking of plush weddings or some friends and neighbours to impress. If we do not reduce this money mentality, even in wealth, one's marriage will still have problems. Is there anything like enough money ?? E nor dey. Human wants is insatiable. I'd really like to engage you in a civil conversation if we'll be pragmatic and converse with open minds.

Bottom line if you think you can keep and maintain a girlfriend then you can as well marry her legally

FreeIgboho:
You didn't answer the question

You ddnt ask any direct question sir

FreeIgboho:
So u won't have kids, u won't have any ceremonies, etc.
Explain to us why u r getting married

Na wa o, Are you getting married for a ceremony ??
One gets married for a number of reasons, according to social studies. Marriage is not centered around children.

FreeIgboho:
But dating someone does not involve wedding ceremonies and pride price and aseobi and inlaws and visitors, and expectation of children, etc.
U r both wrong.

And who said ts compulsory to brandish all these before one's marriage will be termed legal ??

MrBrownJay1:
all you people are looking at marriage with a failed vision.... you dont need money to get married, marriage is just an extention of a r/ship sealed by a useless piece of paper....if you guys were broke and could date happily, then there is no reason why you couldnt get married and still be happy. the problem here is that all you people are thinking that a broke couple should do exactly the same thing as one with money, while the couple with little money needs to ADAPT TO THEIR SITUATION until they have enough money to care for a family (aka children etc)

a lot of people are quick to call a man/woman broke because they only have money to take care of their own needs, but the reality is that there are many people who are broke because they paid their rent, put food in the fridge and paid their bills etc. if 2 broke people join hands, then they can EASILY live happily ever after (so long as they dont try to add to their family). so a broke married couple needs to take contraception, need to cut their coat according to their situation and they need to work towards getting a better life situation in order to have kids etc

it takes money for a single person to take care of their basic need... its called LIFE and everyone should be able to take care of their basic needs before thinking of marriage, same for married ones. you dont need "more" money to get married than the money you each had to take care of your basic needs, if your spouse cant/couldnt take care of their basic needs then you shouldnt get married and that person should sort that part of their lives 1st before thinking of getting married, as they are a LIABILITY

as for your hustle statement, no wonder so many men fail in marriage when they think that having money to take care of a liability is the solution to their problem....a liability is a LIABILITY whether you bring more money to the table or not.

Biko nwa nne send me your email lemme mail you one cold bottle of beer for this post. This just shows that there are still mature and pragmatic thinkers here on nairaland.

If you can date someone, you certainly can marry that person

I don preach this message tire.

CharisEleos:
Is that enough to justify the act? Hm SMH.

Now, apart from those who were forced into prostitution unknowingly in foreign countries by bad guys, no body should use frustration as an excuse to go into prostitution.

Everyone including me has passed through one form of hardship at one time or the other but we didn't resort to prostitution.

Now I'm not talking about situations where a man wants to take advantage of you because of what you're passing through. I'm talking about you deliberately throwing caution into the wind and going full time with your two eyes open into prostitution as a means of lively hood. No now.. how about doing other menia jobs?

Ill tell y'all a little bit about my past.

I've had my fair share of frustration sometime after the global meltdown.
At some point, If I'm going on the road, I won't board a bus just to sight a vacancy anywhere and that was after expending the little money I had, going to the island to submit CVs and not getting any response.
In the process, I saw one at a total filling station with a couple other youths waiting for them to open. So, I joined the queue. This was in 2010.

From nowhere, a woman just came and called me. I followed her to her car and she said she likes me and there's a beauty outfit in ikoyi that needs a cash till manager and she thinks theyll like me too because they want beautiful ladies there. That was how I got a job in a BSS supply store better than the total filling station we were all queuing up for.
That was where I picked up the interest to go into formulation of skincare and commetic products; also did my makeup training.

Another worse scenario was when I earned 230 naira per day. Then I had men telling me, "Chi baby", just be mine and I'll give you heaven and Earth ( these were returnees from yankee) but I refused. I rather settled for that job just to eat. 230 everyday. And I kept praying. From there a friend connected me to one Judge. I would prepare breakfast for him any day he's going to court and he pays me 700. Later he increased it to 1k per day. His family are based abroad.
When the judge started pestering me to marry him, I left the job.
That's how low I've gone just to shun indecent lifesty. And I'm not ashamed to say this anywhere because it's serves as an encouragement to who ever is going through hard times now and is thinking of going the wrong way.
Life is full of ups and downs but God always makes a way.

So what hardship will now make a girl to go into prostitution instead of looking for something decent to do pending when a bigger one comes?

We need to encourage the ones coming after us to be resilient to be able to keep a clean record.

God bless you for this write up. Dont listen to the rants of some demented people castigating your conviction. It is yours and it is your prerogative. They should do with theirs as they please.

Meedon:
Nice one



That is why he knows how to sing better song than dem Wizkid, Davido and Burna Boy.


Keep on doing your things Alhaji Tekno, one day you go win grammies.

Ahn...ahn who is this one again

dvkot:
funny you put jesus on that list.. But did anyone of them lack anything tho?

See why i dont like discussions concerning faith, we tend to be overly defensive, impetuous and make rather lugubrious assertions. Which of them had a horse was the question ??

Owning a horse was at least a symbol of wealth in those days

dvkot:
how do you not expect a servant of God to be rich? Do you mean God is now a lair?

Elijah
Elisha
Moses
Jesus
Isaiah
John de baptist
Habakuk
Please, which of God's prophets owned a horse ??

dvkot:
That made him richer than your entire village and family

So one now judges the extent of God by how rich a person is ??

Nice

obiekunie01:
nothing will happen.

No body will extradite the officer to USA.

In fact Abba kyari will soon be promoted self!


trust Naija.

Thank you. I keep telling people that the guy will be promoted when all this dies down

Nigeria has been nose diving into oblivion. Well meaning nigerians should sit up and do the needful, let us stop waiting on the government. Its obvious they are clueless. Woeful failure

mariahAngel:
...but what he commented was the truth regardless.

I know most people (on this platform) don’t like him...but I have nothing against him. At least, not yet.

Abeg brother mi, where is the truth in what he posted. Is it the fallacious twitter earnings or the edited tweet purportedly from twitter. Abeg, lets be pragmatic and stop promoting nuisance. Thank you

youngmo001:
Before this my tenant paid for the house, there was a complete door net in good condition. Therefore she has lived here for more than 5 years, during the course of those years, she renew the door net which later worn out. Now this year, she decided to park and rent a bigger room elsewhere. During her parking i wasn't at home, when i came back, i saw that she had remove the door net. I told her for removing the door net am going to deduct N5000 from the 8 month rent i need to refund to her. She starts ranting saying she spend N3000 to fix the door net, that i shouldn't deduct her money.

Guys, what do you think i should do?

Someone close to me let his tenant pack out with rent of over 7 months, and ts a 2 bedroom flat. Sometimes, you just have to let peace reign. Tell her to wait till another person moves into the house then refund her the agreed sum. Person nor dey use quarrel make mouth.

CodeTemplar:
Judging for the sake of walking with a believer isn't totally out of place. If I don't probe your character and acts to try and gauge the motives behind them, how will I ever be able to walk with you? Whether you like it or not, you will judgement on small personal issues to guage character of other.

This your comment just made me log in to nairaland just to quote you bro.
I share your idealogy. We judge not to condemn, but to guide our own selves.

KEVIND:
North & South
Your fellow Southerner is in a position to give you employment.
You go to him for employment.

You speak good English and write an excellent application letter to impress him.

He tells you to bring your qualifications.

You bring your First Degree (First Class or second class).

He tells you to go and do your Masters and even PhD for you to get the job.

ON THE OTHER HAND

A Northerner is in a position to give employment.

An Hausa Man goes to him.

He speaks Hausa to him.

He tells him to bring his qualifications.

He brings a third class degree or an SSCE with two Credits.

He gets the job and saves money to further his education.

He gets a Masters Degree while doing the job.

Tomorrow, he is appointed as Executive Director.

Ten years Later, he becomes Chairman or DG of the Agency.

The Southerner sees this and hates on the Hausa Man.

He accuses him of nepotism.

But that's not nepotism.

That's communalism.

Southerners must understand the difference between nepotism and communalism.

Helping your Brother to succeed is not nepotism.

Southerners just need to learn how to love one another like Northerners do.

Stop hiding opportunities from your people.

Northerners do not hide opportunities from their people.

What is the dictionary definition of nepotism. Una go just dey yarn as u like

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright......

Okafor is a real niggarr

Well planned.......and every thing went well...scripted...Okafor is a real niggarr

They never mentioned the amount in that wallet...

And for all those praising him..
There is no need for that...he didn't take the wallet and keep it to himself doesn't mean he is a saint
He is aware that the money is inconsequential or rather not important in his quest to conquer and become a successful person

I bet my balls Okafor will not return that same wallet if there are up to ten million in it

Oga speak for yourself. Not erryone has criminal tendencies

privaldo:
It is very good you can read more about the specs on Google. You would honestly love it.

ha you sold yours ??

privaldo:
If you will be interested I have a Nokia 3.4 (4GB/64GB) for sale for N50,000. You can check my profile to see pictures.

please bro, how good is this phone

injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere.
injustice to one is injustice to all.
it was nnamdi kanu yesterday, today it is sunday igboho.
dont mock or celebrate o, it can be anybody tomorrow. even YOU

Youngpo413:
Nokia 1.4

please, do you own or use this phone