₦airaland Forum

OXYGEN011:
Obama visited the President of Ghana so Ghana is better and greater than U.S.A I guess.I don't know why there are sooo many fools in nigeria who reasoned with their ass.

Lwkmdh hehehehehehehe bro u got me laffing sotey my belle dey pain me o....so that guy dey reason with his anus ? Chai d guy u re abusing there's god o

seunmsg:
The Egyptian president should visit Nigeria if he want any cooperation with GMB. Nigeria is still the giant of Africa and our president elect can't be summoned in such manner by any African President. The president of Ghana, Cote D'ivoire and some other African countries have already visited the president elect. Nothing stops El-Sisi from doing same.

My broda for now a president elect is not bigger than president..forget the title giant of africa does it reflect in nigerians daily living ? ...so as far u re not yet sworn in as president yet, a president can still politely summon a president elect and notin bad about it. We must learn to do tins with humility even if u pass someone or giant like u said...don't forget o goliath was a giant o I believe u no wat happened to him.

agarawu23:
must you show your stupidity everywhere you go with your falling booobs?

you called my attention wrongly. if you are truely an English teacher you shld have corrected my errors or keep mute

ppl like you are the set of ppl with E8 in English Language and you are here on forum forming guru

Who's forming wole soyinka and patrick obahiogan to u ? They need english teacher for South africa o

danniekute:
I don't think d guy waka the waka. he fit jump bike

God knows I don't believe this at all....

Eastherbunny:
They should just go, all this hate against them is too much even though they caused some.

Some abi most...? Make they dey go sef as for me I won't miss them a bit....they have spoilt nigeria enough with fake fake china products...u buy items from an igbo man shop with fear cos u re almost 100 percents sure u are buying fake or substantial tin...

Tallesty1:
I caught one trying to squeeze my deep freezer into it.

I got angry and sent her out.

Later when I entered my room I discovered that she took my foam.

Guys, never leave a girl with big-black-bag alone in your room.

Lwkmdh hehehehehehehe true talk but kinda funny sha

ki02020:
I never believe this guy is real

God knows I don't believe he trekked from lagos to abuja lie lie I'll never believe that.....

Bekwarra:
My friend who's a worker in a new generation pentecostal church (I won't mention names) invited me to his church. Although I don't normally go to church VERY EARLY, he succeeded in persuading me to go early with him because as a worker, he should be in church very early and he knew fully well that if we didn't go together, I wouldn't go; so he succeeded in dragging me along.

When we got to church, they started their normal Sunday School like chit-chat and later praises, worship songs and the service started proper. Born into an Apostolic-inclined orthodox and later crossed over to RCCG, I wasn't at home with the mode and method of their service. I was getting bored and feeling out of place while silently praying for the service to end. Then it came to things like "run to five people and tell them greater things are coming your way this week, you must run o", "grab the person beside you and shake him happy sunday". I was getting tired and shaking my head in despair.

The worms in my stomach were not helping matters, they launched a massive #BringBackOurFood protest because I couldn't take breakfast before leaving for church. The only thing that kept on pushing me on was the hope that the pastor would soon say "run to 5 people and hug them happy sunday". I would gladly and patiently look for 5 beautiful sisters with their killing mini/pencil skirts and tight-fitting shirts to hug but unfortunately, that command never came. All those times, I was feeling frustrated already and whenever my eyes meet those of my friend where he was standing with the engines and mixers, he gives me that "padi no vex we go soon finish" smile.

Just as I was resigning to fate and hoping that the service would soon end and I would bolt home the worst of it happened. The pastor had been preaching for close to 45mins harping on the need to give and sow as good Christians. He gave several examples in the bible of people who gave and later reaped God's blessings. He urged us to give and test God. After that, it was time to give offering. The offering was going to be in two parts; normal Sunday offering and the commitment towards the church building because their auditorium is under construction. We gave offering and afterwards the pastor came back on the pulpit and started complaining why people refused to give generously despite taking us on a journey through the word of God about the essence of giving in a Christian life. He preached for another 10mins. I wasn't even listening to him again because I was gradually dozing off.

What actually jolted me back into reality were these words "now it's time for operation search your neighbour". I sat up immediately to listen well and that was when I heard the pastor saying

"this is time for operation search your neighbour, search your neighbour's bag, wallet, purse or pockets as need be and bring out the contents, if there is no money there return the bag but if there is money bring it out, we must learn to give to God. He gave us the money and we must return it to him".

After all those words, people took the bag of the person sitting beside them while the pockets or wallets of brothers were being searched.

The brother beside me was taking his hands towards my pockets about to begin his own search when I said with venom in my eyes and in a Russian mafian voice

"What do you think you want to do??"

He replied me

"You heard what the pastor said brother".

I told him not to even contemplate trying it. He was then trying to pacify me and cajole me telling me there is no harm in giving towards God's work. I told him I'm not against giving but I'm against collecting by force. This is no more giving, this is collecting. He smiled at my words and said

"My brother it's the same thing, God's blessing awaits the two"

and he made for my pockets again, I felt that my phonetics were not having any effect and I replied with

"Bros abeg no try that thing o, I swear I go change am for you".

He was shocked.

One usher noticed us and came to us and he was trying to calm me down because my voiced had changed as my face too.

My friend remained where he was to avoid being seen as the person that brought Orubebe to church. I don dey para for them like mad and the people sitting around us were trying to pacify me. I said "Okay, no problem," carried my bible and.............................with one last Dracula look I told the usher

"Please don't even try to follow me".

He remained rooted to the spot and I made my way out of the church and straight home.

U politely orubebed the church service...nice bro u did urs with sense unlike d real orubebe

Sweetguy25:
Africa.

Things like these happen in Nigeria all the time though.

Pls which part of nigeria are u ? Cos I try to remember when last I heard sometin like dis happened cos u said all the time...

Dannyset:
Ewo tun ni oral application again na?
These my APC people shld just free Fayose before they start making mistake themselves.
The man has begged all Nigerians to forgive him. Let's enjoy him instead of trying to prove a point.

When he was consciously and intentionally abusing the rule of law up and down to the point of beating up a judge , was he not trying to prove a point ? Did he checked or cautioned his attitude to take a chill pill then ? Hell no he didn't , So why begging nigerians to forgive him now ? Abegi he gat to go...if not for majority of hungry ekiti people who rigged-voted for him someone like fayose been a gov is a shame for any state that's why I dey pity rivers state in advance if truly wike won....these touts misuse power against the accordance of rule of law...

Huskut:
I gave her 50k for her bday preparation

And she told me is too small. I nearly faint.

U for just collect am back under d pretense u want to add to it and don't give her anytin again...some girls are just too stupid....useless people.

buygala:
In Nigeria, everything the Pastor disagrees with IN PUBLIC is a sin from his standpoint, regardless of whether he does it or much worse in private


As far as I know, the Bible makes no provisions for oral intercourse.... so as long as it isn't done in furtherance of Fornication and Adultery or in public, It shouldn't be anyone's business how married peeps consensually choose to have sex with each other


Point is.... If the Bible says nothing about it, why should I give a fucck about some pastor's opinion?

So on point bro...nice one.

Acekidc4:
So on Point Bro!!

Tanx bro

Acekidc4:
President-elect, Gen Muhammadu Buhari and Rivers state Governor, Rotimi Amaechi were together recently.

They had a Handshake that has gotten Many Nigerians Talking!


What do you Make out from the Handshake?

What I see is a man respecting one time military general , a president elect , and his elder....all three combine no be beans o. Op if u get just one alone hmm na Godwin for u o..

hfinest1:
I've got dis girl I met on net n we got chatting, exchanged bb pin n got chatting on bbm... we talk everyday on bbm... I'm getting so fund of her that if I dnt chat with her for a day, it feels lyk my day isn't complete... of late I've been developing some "strange but true" feelings for her and in a nutshell, I think I'm in love with her.

note: we've not met before but we chat a lot so I know almost everything about her... wat sge told me sha... now my question is: is it rilly proper or okay that I'm falling in luv with someone I've not met before n I'm thinking of letting her know how I fell bout her... is that okay?

She kicks ur heart due to d familiarity on a daily so bro its very possible u get to like her or feel u even love her...don't harbor that feeling spit it out to her..u never can tell she might be feeling same way for u...and if she says no bro don't stop or reduce how u guys do chat on a daily basis its will show u re man....life goes on if she says no bro. Mind consider distance pls as me don't fancy long distance stuff, hope she reasonably close to ur location. ?

Me I have the following....
Heightphobia
TrailerContainerphobia (esp in lagos)
Brokephobia
Saggyboobsphobia
Barca-losephobia
Lackofgirlfriendphobia
Deathphobia
Sinphobia
And most...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
PDPphobia (they re nigeria main prob)

temitemi1:
What is this

Google

True talk n I concur op

SeverusSnape:
I so much love this man, For today, I'm an Ekiti indigene. Ekiti people love this man and there's nothing Tinubu and his gang of marauders can do about it.

Ur eyes go clear soon no worry.

falconey:
is male boobs allowed?

Lwkmdh hehehehehehehe u heard d op well she didn't say ladies only so bro go ahead make we see

klepto2015:
What the fvck do you want us to do?

Is there anything bad for him to share his relationship ordeals ? Na wa o someone like u shouldn't be a gov or president o cos hmmm.

shevi4mb:
I can understand u originally wrote Aboki.....dis nairaland self dey sensor...ahahaha

I swear na abokii I wrote o same tin happen to u ...Lwkmdh hehehehehehehe

FLAWLES:
Pls i need love expertz on this.how do you know a guy needs your body and not ur love?derz dz guy asking me out(takes me out,advise me wen needed,caring and all dat)but i tink itz all forming and pretence.(my friends tink hiz real)pls i wanto give him a try.HOw do i know hiz real?

Stretch his patience if he's not real he will be frustrated and reduce the intensity at which he's showing u all those u mentioned , or possibly he will stop it as a result of u stretching him.notin bad if he ask out for almost a year or more...like d saying goes u value wat u hustle for abi ? Aside that u can stylishly put him to test , how ? Well u can test him by telling ur trusted girlfriend to play d "oh its a miss call" gimmick on him. From there ur friend can display been vulnerable just to make him fall for d trap...after they must have been talking.....once again use ur trusted friend for d test cos some friends are not friends....use d first one on him and tank me later.

Aboki where's d pinchure ?

phelps007:
Some of Fayose's loyalists can't do without insulting people like their paymaster. People should learn to be civil.

#gbam..true talk. Me I even wonder wetin they like abt the thug, concern criminal, omo jati jati. D same man that brought all the wahala n troubles ever known to ekiti. D way some peeps dey reason dey fear me . Chai

alphawg:
BBC? Even before local media....
Much work needs to be done.

I tell u bro...nigeria Journalists are bunch of lazy set of people don't u no ? D oda day make person dey cough forget say him dey front of camera ...if dat is common in our media na to report dis kind tin u dey expect ?

1stola:
50 out of 210
Where are the remaining
Daris God o.

Lwkmdh hehehehehehehe omG ...ur pic make me laff sotey I fall from my bed...oh my belle o ..tanx for making me laff bro...lol

Saklekplus:
No



I don't know that u have sharp brain like this, this is the same question I wanted to ask, abi her parents don't have any relatives?, where is her mother

Bro just thank God for ur own , some families are so scattered to d point that the answer to ur question will be too hard to fetch...just broadcast the msg simple if u don't no what to say. We do take some serious mata in nairaland lightly because its not us that its happens to....just like d sayin goes "Nobody cares until its personal" and its bad of us in dis con3.

Oooops:
Good move... Its good to see men of integrity who still keep their promises though sometimes made in haste or exaggeration but atleast promises were kept. Hope our politicians get a cue from this and fulfill every political promises made so atleast the masses can start having belief in our political system.
Oga Godbless your hussle.... treck well and stay safe! atleast money dey wait you!
P.S: FTC.... Dont worry, it doesn't shack me like other's... i don't feel differently!!! am just me

So to u now u believe him truly trek from lagos to abuja abi ? If yes then I doubt if u don ever go abuja before. Mind what u believe o ...

TheGoodJoe:
[b]Neymar and Messi are not over hyped but they are blessings to their generation and to football as a whole.

Neymar is still young but his stats for his national team is as good as the greatest footballer of all time, PELE. How can such a player be over hyped.

As for Messi, you can not deny his ability. In club football, there is no player who have done what Messi has achieved. Many will say that he is playing with a star studded team that are gifted with the ball. However, this is not the first time we have a group of superstars in a club.

Messi stands out because he has utilized his potential at Barcelona to the his best.

Barcelona have been home to some of the greatest players of the game, including Luis Figo, Rivaldo, Romario, Ronaldo De Lima, Maradona, Ronaldinho, Gary Lineker, Michael Laudrup, the great Johan Cruyff. If you ask Barcelona fans who is the greatest of Barcelona, most, if not all will say MESSI. People like Guardiola and Enrique who played along side some of these great players say Messi is the greatest for Barcelona.

How can such a player be over hyped.[/b]

U dey mind op ? I suspect he's an arsenal fan cos u no wat messi did to gunners na .

Mr op stop hating jare, I can only ask u to use ur fone and compare messi with any other player by downloading their clips on youtube , tubidy or vuclip then study it then come back and say whatever u like, u judging just from d recent el clasico is so wrong of u...where were u when he bcame d highest goal scorer in el clasico , wen he scored hatrick at just 19yrs old at madrid home for dat mata etc..till u download video clips then stop hating cos even ex great players and players still playing rate messi above all others...ask pele, maradona ,zlatan, koke , wenger , sir ferguson , rooney, scholes and many others they won't hold back from saying messi is above all other. The ways he plays and does magical tins is what made journalists said he's not from this earth. Ur thread is just to show ur hatred for messi simple. Anyway ur hatred doesn't change majority believes that messi is the best ever. Ur so called cr7 fine good player but he's no where near messi ..the accolades , numbers and stats don't lie...what has cr7 won for his con3 ? But messi got olympic medal, U20 WC trophy , runner up in 2014WC and perhap copa america comes dis summer...!!! Check when cr7 have been winning world best awards messi has been injured... When he has been fully fit did u see cr7 won it ?