₦airaland Forum

truthhurts2:
I seriously understood your point, so many reasons for a lady to turn down a guy's proposal, but, not a long time relationship, like a year or more. What is there to know that you haven't knew for 2 years? Ladies should always be observant from the start if they think/hope the relationship will end up into something meaningful. If you're saying No based on bad character/s that you want APC to occur and you haven't seen the change after 2 years then why not breaking up with him long ago before he can even think of proposing to you?

So if after 2 years of relationship, a lady turned down my proposal by walking away from me, she just don't walk from me, she walked out of my life.

After 2 years is evil. You should have been able to see red flags by then.

But then, it's better she said no then than later.

thomasjoe:
But to be honest you will agree that he never measured up to her expectations or she never really loved him or was into another affair or all of the above.
Why will a lady say no no a marriage proposal when everything is okay with both of them ...
Okay now I'm willing to listen ...tell me ...

Nope. I doubt that the first lady is married now. They had done introduction and she turned him down, after getting yes at a proposal.

Silentgroper:
Tah! Happen wetin?? ... Abeg lets be realistic hia.

I done see am happen. Na him make I dey tell you say e dey happen.

Silentgroper:
Lol. Y would a man propose after 3mnths of courting

E dey happen o.

Maobichek:
If "No" is discussed as you said, can it metamophe into "yes" by the same lady?

Some ladies have said somethings and later regretted what they said.

A lady once asked me why I stalked her, I stayed away from her because of that and she later came back accusing me of not forgiving and forgetting.

If course, a no can be a yes.

What if she tells you No cause she wants to get a job or be financially stable first?

What if she says no cause she wants to settle her family first ti reduce dependency on her?

habsydiamond:
wow!!! If all Nigerian ladies fit be like u.. This country for be a better place. Am saying this in reference to the job independence u mentioned... Most of our ladies prefer to rely on guys for their survival which is wrong... They have forgotten that at one point or the other the guy will use it against them by either maltreating them or to discard them.

I see financial independence as a security in marriage. Whether we like it or not, it's the truth.

thomasjoe:
I'm not sure ...
Read my post , it says probably.
Howeved ,I believe it should be athing of joy to be proposed to someone that has been in a relationship with you and for the feaw to accept too except there may be some unholy alliances ...
Just my opinion though ...
Best wishes

Thank God you made exceptions.

MYHUBBY:
there might not be anything wrong with him really, many ladies hate men with low self esteem, bold less and a dependent mind among others


so when ladies come across such ladies they might fear for the future, I've seen broke guys fúck a lady dating a rich lady mercilessly without giving her any kobo. some ladies take advantage of some guys stupidity while some ladies with conscience who can't cope just take their exit

Dude is doing very well for himself earning over half a million monthly.

Close to his 40 and these women are also independent, well over 30.

Ishilove:
Na spirit wife, aka Aya Orun dey worry am

Rotfl.

MYHUBBY:
let me help you to add that, a lady saying yes to you doesn't mean she won't say no later or why are people going into church for wedding and going back to court for dissolution of marriage



no one should force feelings if they don't want heartbreak, both guys and ladies should love someone that feel for them

I know someone that proposed to three different ladies at different points in his life. All three said yes but broke up with him later.

He's still single and he's not a child.

Isn't it obvious there's something wrong with him that's making these ladies say no after they've said yes to him?

thomasjoe:
What's there to listen to? The comprehension after the Summary ?
You've been in a relationship and the lady has been hoping you propse and now you do then she says no ...
Pls thank God secretly in your heart and calmly walk away ...don't even say word to the girl...she is most likely in a relationship dating someone she thinks is far better than you and has been managing the situation ...
Painful as it is , you should be grateful she helped end the relationship

The lady has been hoping you'd propose?

How sure are you about this? What if she's not ready for this your proposal?

Nazgul:
I am too...cos it comes with a lot of unnecessary tensions, suspicions, emotions and unnecessary responsibility.


True...you won't easily ignore glaring red flags when sex isn't involved. Good sex makes girls (and even guys) go crazy, thereby ignoring vital caution signs of the partner in question, which if the relationship is upgraded to marriage can ruin the marriage.


I disagree.

When you're with someone, your goals and visions must be properly ironed out.

If a guy isn't only interested in when next you'll visit him, and whether or not you'll sleep over whenever you visit, what's there to talk about, such person clearly doesn't see you in his future. So what's there to talk about. Even if you bring up marriage issue to such guy, he'll carefully avoid it by either getting angry or claiming he's not financially ready, cos you're not in his future blueprint, you're just a person he uses to relieve his sexual urges.

Likewise a girl...if she's only interested in how much her man will be sending here as monthly upkeep, and how you'll spend your weekends in exotic places...etc. without adding any value to his life, then the guy doesn't need to have any kind of discussion with here cos such girl is out for herself and clearly doesn't picture a future with him.

A purposeful relationship is one which both parties work together towards a collective goal. Even God called the woman a helpmeet, meaning that there are some goals a man cannot accomplish without the help of a supportive woman besides him to encourage and motivate him.

Motives behind a relationship should be defined and such relationships should be reviewed timely as determined by the people involved.

My opinion o.

Make e no be say one of una dey plant for where the seed no go grow.

emapeteum:
A woman who said no to you in public doesn't worth dying for.

So she should say yes to you in public and then say no in private abi?

CoolAmbience:
You made some good sense.

But for me, it is senseless to come in public to propose. I mean, what is the true intent of doing it in public?

This is something that is supposed to be private.

Or have I being left out of the newest civilization?

Wetin concern me sef, e be like say some people just dey destined for public disgrace.

Public proposals shouldn't bedone if you both haven't had discussions about marriage or marrying each other.

Nazgul:
If you don't know him enough, then what have you guys been doing in the relationship?

If you must know, relationships isn't just meant for exploring different sex styles and positions, it's a platform to understand each other, plan and execute futuristic goals, support each other's ambition, tolerate each other...etc.

So if after spending time, emotions, resources, energy... etc, with a guy and you still can't make up your mind concerning him, then you're not matured enough to be in a relationship in the first place, or you're just a flirt looking to enjoy your youthful age to it's fullest.

That's why I said it depends on how long y'all have known each other. I personally am against premarital sex.

If y'all are not sleeping with each other, you'll be more objective in choosing a partner.

Timing matters in proposals o. And like I said, there should have been series of discussions that must lead to a proposal.

habsydiamond:
Not all guys will stick to a No as a reply. As for me o, I would like to know her reason or the reasons behind her no.

Exactly. You deserve to know why.

Me I've told my sisters that they should not marry a guy if they don't have a job or business doing. In that case, if I was in their place and a guy they are in a relationship proposes to them, I'd tell the guy, "I'm not saying no, but I'd like for us to wait till I get my finances together".

Simple as that.

If na me, I for done dey hammer am to the guy sha say "I no dey marry without job or business".

What if the lady is still dealing with a traumatic past, what if she's just not ready for that step yet?

Reasons plenty o.

Nazgul:
The op wasn't referring to relationship he was talking about marriage, meaning both couples should already be in a relationship according to his narration.

So if a girl I'm dating for a couple of months decides to say no to my marriage proposal, why should I bother myself, if her reason for saying no is because of some bad behaviours she feels I have, why no talk to me about it since we're dating?

And if her yes is because she wants a ticket out of poverty, I would have already detected her parasitic nature and wouldn't bother myself to push it any further by popping the marriage question.

I still maintain my stand that whenever a girl says no to the marital proposal of her guy, she's either seeing someone she feels is much better than him or she doesn't see a future with him.

What is your idea of a couple of months?

That you think you know her enough to propose doesn't mean she knows you enough to say yes.

Your timeline shouldn't be her timeline.

Asides this, there should have been discussions that should lead to as proposal.

You can't just propose to a woman based in your own timeline and think hers doesn't matter.

Just saw this on instablog.

Nazgul:
You're just speaking English.

When a girls says no to the proposal of a guy she's supposedly dating, it's either she feels he doesn't measure up to her standard or she has someone else.

So it's okay for a woman you know to say yes to a guy she just met if he proposed to her.

Or it's okay for a girl to say yes to a guy who has said he'd change some of his bad behaviours but she's yet to see the changes?

There's always a reason for every answer, Yes or No.

That yes she's giving you could also be because you're her only option or cause you're her meal ticket out of poverty.

A No is not always bad, just get the reason for the No and be open to discussions.

habsydiamond:
but that shouldn't be a straight No. Such must come with some explanations I guess

But do you guys want to hear the explanations?

Many of you aren't willing to listen, you just focus on the "No". There is always a reason for a No.

Depends on her reason for saying No and how long y'all have been in a relationship.

It's okay to say No if you've only been dating for like three months and you feel you haven't gotten to know the man enough to make that commitment so quickly.

Angel's areola is visible in this her bikini top.

Like I said before, there's a thin line between discipline and abuse.

Tranquility2345:
I suspect say she dey hide something for body. When she wear cloth, she likes to shake yansh. Now wey all man off cloth, fear hook am

She could have worn a one piece but she's just antisocial.

Wetin Angel wear so?

She could have just worn the kind of swimsuit that Princess wore.

Beatrice is a wasted slot on this BBN. I'm sure there are a thousand other people deserving of her slot.

She acts like she's bipolar or like she doesn't want to be there.

eleshin:
This is the worst task présentation in the history of BBN.

I will never forget Seyi's set. Every task was a hit.

quivah:
I feel so ashamed of the Yoruba contestants..they know absolutely nothing about their culture even on the simplest thing. This one that called herself cultural producer,, na the rubbish she dey do be this if e no even sabi her own culture.

This is not how the Yorubas do their naming ceremony. The husband has no business carrying or dancing with the baby. The Mil does that. Mil carries the baby, sit besides the wife. Those two are basically the ones who handle the child and I don't think I have ever seen a Yoruba naming ceremony where they need to dance to the venue or whatever.

Niyi, Saga, and Arin, una no well.

I can forgive Arin, cause she's the youngest. But you see that Agbaya Niyi and Saga.

I am shaking my head for them.

Coronabirus:
Let me tell u, no region that detest thieves like arewa. If u want to dupe ordinary Northerner just pretend to be good and corruption free. PMB is deeply loved in the North because he has good corruption free record but he has done nothing that will make us love him.
Northerners won't depend Kyari because he is good in service; most Northerners are guided by religion not deceptive constitution that protects few thieves in a relatively lawless country. Religion asked us to uphold high level of modesty of dress and behaviour. That is why if North lose that religious consciousness, that is the end of her value. It is hypocrisy calling Northerners to dump their religious attachment because they'll behave like wild animals if they lose that value!
Most Northerners don't like Dangote because for them, isn't religion nor tribe that make them dislike him because he is not rightly guided by the charity and zakka he is enjoined to offer but guided himself to capitalism and cruel business deal. To hell with Abba Kyari if he is guilty!
Unfortunately, southerners are happy abt his downfall because they envy his record, they hate him because he is just a Northerner & nothing more.
The way some people behave in Nigeria even in animals kingdom we can't find such dirty lifestyle, full of ethno-religious bigotry and religious fanaticism!

What about Ganduje's thievery?

I refuse to believe this is Arewa Twitter.

In Orubebe's voice. "We will not take it".

Arewa Twitter has been silent on the matter. Please, check up on them.

Bigredmachine:
Except that ... Splitting bills is fine... Wife wey dey share responsibility na correct woman

Especially if the chores and child care is also shared.

Partnership at its best.