₦airaland Forum

LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS
Friends,
Let me add the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK - and I live in Lagos now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves - including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there - regardless how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same - the exception being those of us status-conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel and, to my amazement; he said that his young children travel in the economy class -even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound Sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK . No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the prime minister in the UK - he travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton the lass married to Prince William drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there's one core difference in them and us (generally speaking). They - the billionaires among them work for their money, we steal ours!

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's begin now and teach them to work hard so that they can stand alone and most importantly be content, and not have to "steal". This seems to be the norm these days.

"30 is the new 18", which seems to be the new age for testing out the world in Nigeria now. That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria .

At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.

At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into becoming fully fledged adults.

I can hear the echo of parents saying, well, that is because the UK economy is thriving, safe, well structured and jobs are everywhere? I beg to differ and I ask that you kindly hear me out. I am UK trained Recruitment Consultant and I have been practicing for the past 10 years in Nigeria . I have a broad range of experience from recruiting graduates to executive director level of large corporations. In addition, I talk from the point of view of someone with relatively privileged upbringing.

Driven to school every day, had my clothes washed for me, was barred from taking any part-time job during my A-levels so that I could concentrate on studying for my exams?! BUT, I got the opportunity to live apart from my parents from age 18 and the only time I came back home to stay was for 3 months before I got married!

Am I saying that every parent should wash their hands off their children at age 18? No, not at all, of course, I enjoyed the savings that I made from living on and off at my parent's house in London - indeed that is the primary reason for my being able to buy myself a 3 bedroom flat in London at age 25 with absolutely no direct financial help from my parents!

For me, pocket money stopped at age 22, not that it was ever enough for my lifestyle to compete with Paris Hilton's or Victoria Beckham's. Meanwhile today, we have Nigerian children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying "only" first or business class, carrying the latest Louis Vuitton ensemble, Victoria 's Secret underwear and wearing Jimmy Choo's, fully paid for by their "loving" parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents, my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist! Oh really! So where exactly this “child” is my usual question. Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and me, chances are that big boy is cruising around Lagos with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad's spanking new SUV with enough "pocket money" to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to have a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but "earns" a six figure "salary" from parents for doing absolutely nothing.
I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skills to sell, apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad's secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question - so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out - N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum.

Of course it is per month. Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job? Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel that an employer should be able to pay me more than my parents. I try very hard to compose myself, over parenting is in my opinion the greatest evil handicapping the Nigerian youth. It is at the root of our national malaise.

We have a youth population of tens of millions of who are being "breastfed and diapered" well into their 30s. Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa! Wake up mum! Wake up dad! You practically love your children to death! No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birth right.

I want to encourage you to send your young men and women (anyone over 20 can hardly be called a child!) out into the world, maybe even consider reducing or stopping the pocket money to encourage them to think, explore and strive. Let them know that it is possible for them to succeed without your "help".

Take a moment to think back to your own time as a young man/woman, what if someone had kept spoon feeding you, would you be where you are today? No tree grows well under another tree, children that are not exposed to challenges, don't cook well. That is why you see adults complaining, "my parents didn't buy clothes for me this Christmas", ask him/her how old are you? 30 years +. Because of the challenges we faced in our youth, we are where and what we are today. This syndrome-my children will not suffer what I suffered is destroying our tomorrow.

Deliberately, reduce their allowance or mum-don't cook on Saturday till late afternoon or evening-do as occasion deserve.

I learnt the children of a former Nigerian head of state with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several times because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go, what a life! No one wants to marry them. Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.- Henry Ford. Hard work does not kill; everything in Nigeria is going down, including family settings. It is time to cook our children, preparing them for tomorrow. We are approaching the season in Nigeria where only the RUGGED, will survive. How will your ward fare?

If the present generation of Nigerian pilots retires, will you fly a plane flown by a young Nigerian pilot, If trained in Nigeria ? People now have first class, who cannot spell GRADUATE or read an article without bomb blast! Which Way Nigeria ?, Which Way Nigerians!! Is this how we will ALL sit and watch this country SINK

[url][/url]

jidowu: I would gladly advice science students to go for courses in the built environment like architecture, building, quantity survey, estate management, urban and regional planning, land survey and geoinformatics cos they are all vibrant and professional courses on their own,its just an advice thou

Young sch leavers,i hope you are taking note of these. There are lots of professional courses people are neglecting.

Lets hear the subjects you enjoyed,your drms and aspirations. Someone here may help you. You shouldn't jst follow the crowd,stand out today and be different.

Am happy you picked up immediately. Its for your own good,in future,no matter the stress, u will still be happy you are helping the world.

Keep it up@ Peterjosh.

Nmeri17: You give career advice BEFORE senior secondary school not after.By the end of their secondary education they've already choosed and decided what it is they want to do wid their lives.By ss2 i was still as confused AF lol.

You already said you were confused even up to ss2,that is the reason why its for sch leavers. Cos atleast by then,you wont be confused as to the subjects you enjoyed in sch,what you have always dreamt of,then we can help you put the piece together.

This is to encourage everyone,its not too late to take up your life long drm. You have to be happy doing whatever is it you end up to become in life.

No ex yet.
But if anything happen,i will miss him o,i dont even wanna think of it.

Make una continue na.

Mr. Submit the application now. You both can work out the drm together

lol,what did you write joo?








Happy birthday to idowu..

who ar you pls.?
I notice your handle looks different from others. Are you Seun or a hacker?

Hapy bday ID.

can i send mine pls?
I could go ahead to forward it to your mail,but i need your approval pls!

blazerMaks: You should see an edit icon just above the education box on your right. Click and continue.
PS :I'm can't remember the exact name they called it but sha there's an icon just above the education box

Add education box..jst above the colum.

Gope they go places with this initiative.

Seun,thank you for the platform.

Op,u must be a witch.
I swear,i was battling with this same topic in my mind this morning.

There is this private nursery and primary sch nxt to my house,the nursery class is just by my window.
I listen to the teachings everyday, the long shouts of ' A is for apple,B is for ball. . .'. The teachers yell and sing so loud just to give these children the very best. If you have taught a growing child,or watch wat teaching them looks like,you will understand wat am trying to say.

NUT Deserves a whole lot that ASUU.

Where is the publication they are disassociating themself?
Is it the like pole and unlike pole theory?

lol

You fine bro You fine

She's beautiful anytime but too slutty on films. I hope the real her is different.

My sis, am not seeing the believer attitude in you. An uncle of mine taught me wAt believing really meant. A company he was working for introduced some range of alcoholic products and because of his religious belv about alcohol, he tendered his resignation. We taught that to be the worst decision considering he had a family that was fully dependent on him and you knw how Naija and finding another job are enemies. He got another offer 2wks later,2x better than thw former. I hope you get the drift from this my story, we need to stop all these lip service 'I believe' and start acting like believers indeed. God bless your effort.

epele sir, life journey is not always sweet. The bitter part do show up once in a while. Just take your time,its your decision not ours.

pray for her,leave her to learn from experience. You have done enough talking,you may become the enemy very soon if you dont stop talking.

@ op, are you advertising yourself or what? Did she tell you shes tired of her man? Wetin concern girls marrying for love and your experience? When did i miss you sound like i love you and want you back?

dmcdad: ^^^^ Ehn!

yes na

how can you say am playing hide and seek when am here for you alwayz

Open and close sin_ can't stop laughing. Make trumpet sound now,make we know how many will be better than her. She may even make heaven sef,who knows.

i miss everything. I wish i can go back to being a kid.

I don't care what and what Fashola has done or will do for ndigbo. That particular act was wrong. If he knew he was right, why drop them off by 3am,its only a thief that operate by that time. Besides, its head bridge peter obi's office?

You people should stop justifying nonsense.

Na 2day, you should know this is nairaland. Don't work yourself up over nothing dear.

Op. Can i fall in love with you? Plzzzz. Op. Can i fall in love with you? Plzzzz.

Hit it off man, no shaking. This is the perfect time to groom her to become the woman of your dream. Be carefull how you approach it though and don't drag it for too long.

segzi cres: Lol, had my fair share of internet chicks sha, hi5, facebook etc! But the most interesting has to be the babe i met in a bus. There eas a rush so i couldnt choose whivh seat wont squeeze my leg n shii(im 6'4ft). Then this babe got into the bus and sat beside me. Immediately she started. Complaining thats my long legs taking up all the space, i just form ignorance n inserted my earphones blasting loud. She kept disturbing me and i snapped n told her to chill and thats GOD may have made her short so that i can use up some of the space, lol, thats how we started o, abused eachother till ppl in the bus started laughing n calling us husband and wife. When i was about to alight i told i asked her for her number she refused but ppl on the bus pressured her, she gave and the rest is history! Ex now sha

I played this your story on my imagination. Damn! I couldn't stop laughing.

haitto99: met her in d university during our 100l registrations,she looked small,maybe cos am tall though 6ft 2in, as small as she was she jumped d queue n registered b4 me,dat curiousity made me walk up to her and we talked,i asked for her number she told me she had a phone but no sim,so I gave her my number,two weeks lata on a saturday morning I got a call from her and d rest is history......six years on..we are still together...and av neva for once cheated on her,wv planned alot together,and by God's grace in a in a fews yrs she wld be my mrs

wooo! I can feel the happiness in this post. I pray you both make it.