₦airaland Forum

If you want to endorse adultery, then try not be bias. How many men have been able to forgive their wives for adultery? Some people will even be deceiving themselves, saying men are polygamous in nature, nonsense.

Theunbothered:
Breakup with the fool

I don't understand why you referred to her as a fool, does she not have a right to her own body? If he cannot accept her conditions, he can simply breakup with her.

Please is wakanow reliable?

Sex is important in a relationship, single mothers should be avoided, abortion is wrong. I am getting confused, what do guys really want?

[quote author=KingOfTheDamned post=114195740]Should single fathers also be avoided?

shege45:
so you haven’t given this new guy

Yes, he is very responsible and understanding. I respect him a lot because he is not unnecessary bossy, my opinion matters to him. After we discussed the issue and we agreed, he did not bring up the subject again.

DanyBright:
If the love between both of you is genuine and you both are sincere and have each other alone without any secret lover or relationship, many guys can date you without sex.

You are absolutely right. If he really cared about me and loved me as much as he claimed, he would have been ready to wait. The good thing is, I found a better guy.

pegix:
such a vast lady with bad English

So sad

Sorry o English teacher, typos are bound to happen. Abeg, who never f**k up, hands in the air.

LadyD22:
Right from when I was still an early teenager , I hardly pictured myself as anyone's spouse but I knew I wanted to be a mom someday .
But I never spoke openly about my little fantasy of being just me and not being anyone's spouse or property
When anyone asked I'd tell them I just want to settle down after 25 then I changed it to 30 , I see the shock in their faces , then some of them start preaching the gospel or asking how I want my parents to feel
So I hid it again telling people what they want to hear " yes I want to get married when I find the RIGHT person " and I used this lie until I met someone like me , who confidently owned up to it and whilst people may not understand her , I know I did

Whilst I love the idea of romance , dating and lovemaking , I've come to understand that there's nothing appealing about marriage except the thought of a spontaneous wedding and expensive white gowns

it's like a transfer of ownership from your parents to a husband who will pay you to give up your rights to yourself and all that you are

When I'm talking to my friend and she's like , my husband doesn't like me wearing this and he doesn't like me doing that , it drives me crazy to think that could be me one day , if I give in

You'll nurse children , you can't even choose how many you want , you can't name the child , you give up your last name and become Mrs Smith , mama junior , iyawo Smith
That's how I realized I don't even know know my lecturers name we know her only as her husband's name ,i don't want that , I don't like it

People argue that marriage guarantees security , what happens when I am already secure ?
They said it guarantees that the person will be with you forever and never leave , yet most men responsible or irresponsible all have women other than their wives , argue from now till tomorrow
Why would I be happy that the only reason a person can't leave me is because of the LAW
everyone should have the right to leave if they choose to , I think this is the best way to feel secure when you understand that they're here because they want to be

When the idea first came to me I thought of it as revenge to my mother but after lingering over the subject for years I realized it was a desire, not just a revenge tactic

Whilst the debates of whether or not it is possible for a husband to rape his wife is ongoing , and many more relationship advisors are crawling with do's and donts of potential wife material , love spells and kayanmata to help attract and keep a man ,
I realized a woman like me prefers to have adventures , travel , work , I don't want to stop meeting new people and learning new things , the older I get the more I accept this side of me that will soon become the prayer point of all my friends and family

All the couple's that I've seen closeup have made marriage look like an endurance game , some turn bloody others just worsen your mental health ,
The threats of keep yourself well , talk nicely , smell nicely , learn how to cook and clean otherwise you might not FIND a husband to marry , makes me cringe , these are just basic life skills why should it revolve around anyone other than me , that just makes me not want to do it anymore
Some men are even coming up with tests on choosing their "CHOSEN ONE" after hoeing around and showing their manhood to the entire clan of women in their community
Noone has given one good reason to ever get married and I doubt there even is

Is marriage really a compulsory thing for everyone?
Why do people make it look like it is a crime to not get married at all ?
who do you think benefits more from marriage and why?
Some even believe it's a punishment to not be married when you're above the age

Marriage is not compulsory and it is not even sinful to decide to stay unmarried but what you listed here is not enough reason to decide not to get married. There are men that are sharing chores with their wives, just look for a man that is compatible with you. I pray you eventually marry a guy that loves you and cares you so much about you. When that happens, all these chores you listed here will not even be a subject for debate because you will not see them as slavery, you will even be happy to do them. I have seen men force their wives to employ maids because they felt the chores their wives were doing were too much.

Couples in healthy relationships are more concerned about each other happiness, comfort and progress, they have no interest in fighting for position because they are not unnecessary bossy, controlling or jealous. Their marriage is more like a partnership, so they put in effort to get the work done because one person's failure is also the other person's downfall. In such marriages, society views and opinions does not really matter, both the man and the woman just keeps putting in effort to make the marriage work.

Who broke your heart?

I believe that if a lady can prove that she is actually a virgin and she doesn't demand anything from her guy. If the guy is understanding, he will definitely wait till she is ready.

I use to be against virginity test but I am no longer against it because a lot of ladies are now lying about their virginity status, a friend of mine lied to her husband that she was a virgin, he discovered it was a lie after their wedding.

I know some lady are materialistic but a normal person will not speak like this. This story is extremely weird. Fake story.

The story looks so fake.

giselle237:
can you go to Dubai like 1 or 2 days before here and pick her up? I have siblings that have travelled unaccompanied at 14 before covid. You need to confirm with the airlines first and sort this out. If the airline gives go ahead then she has to be registered with them on flight day as unaccompanied and who will pick her up at the other end. The airline will take her through security and all travel protocols themslvs once this is signed.
But she should not be landing in Dubai or any country alone and having a holiday by herslf
If you can sort out the travel then go to Dubai before her like I said and when she lands you will be at the airport to pick her up.
She is still a minor. So think that way too.

This is really helpful, thanks so much.

Aliyu40:
What’s the pressure here Why would you want a 16 year old to travel alone? On too holiday to cheer her up?? She’s not a adult….yet!

There is no pressure, I just did not want to spoil her mood. She might have told some of her friends that she is travelling this year. Thanks for the response, I will try to sort things out.

Candybright:
You have to be her legal guardian to invite her. You can actually apply for her to join you but you need lots and lots of documents including court approval. You also need to come back to Nigeria because they will request to see you personally before signing documents and all involved. The parents too need to be involved as they have to sign and acknowledge you as her guardian as well.

Thanks for the response.

giselle237:
The worst… one of importnt questions you and the aunt will be asked.. are you her legal guardians? what are her ties to Nigeria? there are so many things, upto 59 scenarios which the ECO will bring up and sweetly deny this visa. . you can take her to Dubai…

Thanks so much for the advice. Can she travel to Dubai unaccompanied?

giselle237:
she can visit when you are going.
no visa will be granted on such reasons. Grand aunt? Where are her parents? Why are her parents not traveling? What is genuine intention of trip… these alone will cancel her out

She was born out of wedlock, my uncle and his ex-girlfriend abandoned her. I'm just trying to keep my promise. I want her to visit UK for two weeks and return back to Nigeria. She has been very depressed lately, I want to cheer her up.

giselle237:
she can visit when you are going.
no visa will be granted on such reasons. Grand aunt? Where are her parents? Why are her parents not traveling? What is genuine intention of trip… these alone will cancel her out

Can my aunt invite her instead?

giselle237:
she can visit when you are going.
no visa will be granted on such reasons. Grand aunt? Where are her parents? Why are her parents not traveling? What is genuine intention of trip… these alone will cancel her out

Okay, thanks.

Pls advice. What are the requirements for a minor to visit UK unaccompanied?

Pls advice, can a sixteen years old visit UK alone?

Rosement:
I told my cousin that I will take her with me on my next trip. I thought I would be able to travel this year but I am too busy to travel right now. ​She is sixteen years old. Can she apply for a UK visit visa to travel alone and can I stand as her sponsor or it has to be her parents? My grand aunt is the one inviting her. Please, I need advice on this urgently.

Pls, I need advice on this urgently.

I told my cousin that I will take her with me on my next trip. I thought I would be able to travel this year but I am too busy to travel right now. ​She is sixteen years old. Can she apply for a UK visit visa to travel alone and can I stand as her sponsor or it has to be her parents? My grand aunt is the one inviting her. Please, I need advice on this urgently.

"No amount of fasting, prayer, day & night vigil..... Would drop this visa........ " I can't believe somebody actually made this comment. I couldn't stop laughing when I came across the comment on nairaland.

Psalm 127:1
Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

What God cannot do does not exist. A friend of mine just got a visa without using her personal account, she used her father's account and she is twenty-seven years old.

Do your best and leave the rest to God. Fast and Pray fervently. Be honest and don't think of overstaying your visit.

Lordofistanbul:
Pls how do I change it to ikeja tls submission center?

I will advice you to pay the user pays fee because you can not change your submission center except you cancel your application and start all over and that means you will pay another visa fees and wait for about 28days to receive a refund of your previous fees.

Lordofistanbul:
Pls house what’s this UKVI service fee about, cos I paid visa fees already , so I don’t get the £55 again, pls someone with idea pls respond.

It is called user pays fee and it is only requested from those that picked V.I.

jesuisroya:
Greetings.
I can't seem to pass this page on my application.
I'm applying from Paris.
Can anyone help, please?
I have already paid my fees.

I can't click on "continues with selected appointment type".
Thanks.

Just click "no thanks".

Tzar:
Jeez! Did you even read the story at all?!!! Please read the 1st paragraph again. Then read your 1st sentence & come back to apologize to me!

FYI, below is the 1st paragraph of the poster:

“My fellow nairalanders help me out on this. My immediate elder sister said she can't marry the guy she's dating.”

Thanks for the correction but I also said even if they are dating it doesn't matter because it is better to break a courtship now than to later break a marriage. Strangers will easily realise that a person is unattractive but people living with the person will not easily notice this. If she is still seeing the guy's profession as a problem after dating him, it means she doesn't love him. Her head is just making up excuses to reject him because her heart is not with him.

She feels the guy is not the best for her, if she marries that guy and anything happens tomorrow, she will be more sad because she was pressured to marry him. If you use some set of ladies to judge her, you will not understand what I am saying, some ladies just get married to any available guy when they feel they have no choice but some ladies will prefer to wait patiently and get the right person.

Iyaebe:
As a man which option will you go for when choosing a wife? A staunch feminist who believes in equality and all other principles of feminism or A loyal submissive dependent woman

Guys should understand this.
Community standards and stereotypes have played a major role in making some people live unhappy and without comfort. All gender deserves to be happy, it is not only guys that deserves happiness and comfort. A guy might prefer a woman that is loyal, submissive and dutiful but that does not mean he should view other women as unworthy of being wives because they are some other men's preference.

A guy doesn't need to curve any woman to fit his preference, instead he should simply marry a woman that fits his preference. If a wife is even very dutiful and trying to make her husband convenient and happy by being his ideal type of wife, if he truly loves her he will try to assist her without her even requesting for his help because he will not be happy seen the woman he loves stressed out and her convenient will even be more important to him than his pride.

Life is too short, we don't when anyone will die, that is why we have to ensure that we keep people around us happy and make their lives worth living. Don't allow pride mislead you into making another person's life a hell. Marriage should be like a market place for trade by barber not like a prison cell. A woman is meant to treat her husband like a king and he is meant to reciprocate by treating her like a queen.

Guys, don't dwell on customs and traditions, do what is best for your relationship. Happiness and comfort should be your goals. Don't enslave your wife, love your wives and treat them the way you want your daughters to be treated. These things will not make less than a man, it will only allow your relationship to be very healthy and last long.

Kwinesther:
Babe made the right choice. I see an unmaterialistic and a lady who really knows what she wants described up there.

You sound so arrogant and full of yourself. So you feel because you're an accountant a lady should or cannot say NO to you? Not all ladies are carried away with those. You will be surprised she might even be happy marrying a fellow teacher. You should really work on your attitude.

Exactly. He doesn't understand that money doesn't determine all lady's happiness.

My mum words cannot even hurt me but my dad shouting alone is enough to make me cry, the words doesn't even matter.