₦airaland Forum

Bervelyhillz:
This is a bit long but please bear with me.

I’ve been married to my amazingly beautiful wife for 3 years. The problem is she is very shy around me but at the same time seems to try to secretly please me constantly. It leaves me feeling guilty and I’m not sure of what to do next.

Backstory:

I met her through my mom. My MIL and my mom are childhood friends who grew up together. I never met her at the time since I lived in the US while She was in Nigeria. When I was 20 I saw her in a family friend’s wedding album. I was floored and my eyes were watering. She was the most attractive girl I had ever seen.

I figured out her FB and messaged her since I didn't want to initiate contact through our moms. I struck up a conversation. I soon realized that my mom fed info about me to my MIL which in turn got fed to her , so she already knew a fair bit about me. We chatted constantly, met up on my vacation to Nigeria , and hung out together every day. I learn she is still a virgin saving herself for marriage. I was still one too, mostly because A) I was chubby most of my life and didn't dare go near girls in that state and B) when I did start getting more fit, I already fell in love with her and it felt wrong dating at the same time. So yeah we had that in common.

Skipping ahead again to three years ago when I graduated from grad school. We met up a handful of times more, and things were awesome. She was outgoing with me, giggling over almost nothing and general silliness. We never did anything sexual, but we were intimate enough and honestly seeing her gave me goosebumps, so it wasn't on my mind. On one visit to Nigeria, she brought up the topic of marriage in a joking manner, something about how our mom's always planned it. I jokingly replied that I would be happy to marry her, then she got all serious and asked if I was for real. I said yes and, well, the rest is history.

The problem:

We had our wedding in Nigeria and, after the papers got sorted, she moved to the US to live with me. The first few months were interesting. She knows English pretty well and she majored in her native language, so she looked for translation jobs. She never got replies from employers, so I was getting a little suspicious, especially since she was an honors student at a pretty high ranking international university. I found out that she wasn't actually sending the applications out. I bring this up gently with her, and she starts tearing a bit telling me she wants to be a stay at home wife and that she didn't think I would be proud of her if she didn't get a real job. She says she was going to tell me soon, which I believe because I found a recent word document in our computer that was basically a draft of the speech she was going to give me. I don't mind her staying at home as I bring in enough money for the both of us and she is a really good cook.

This prompted me to sit down with her and figure out where our communication is breaking down. After a bunch of long discussions about this, I felt we were on the same page. She was still growing more timid around me and didn't start conversations easily with me, but she always seemed happy. I stepped up my displays of affection, showering her with compliments, hugs, and kisses. I would often catch her staring at me (usually while we ate), to which she would get red-faced and look away quickly. It’s been 3 years now and still does the smiling stare, except now she doesn’t look away when I catch her. The conversation starting has gotten a bit better, but nowhere near pre-marriage. While she always had this quiet peacefulness to her, I noticed she is intentionally not doing things that might get me worked up. Examples being: discussing politics (we have the same views), discussing my work problems, discussing anything philosophical in nature, etc. She will respond if I start, but she doesn’t take the initiative like before. I really miss that.

The sex is...interesting? As I said before, I didn't have any prior experience so I can't judge her, but she just lays on the bed and doesn’t move until I suggest to. She never initiates but never declines. I try to make it about her more often than not, but if I’m looking for feedback she quietly agrees with whatever I'm doing. After we finish, she lays in the same position looking at me, sometimes smiling, sometimes teary-eyed. I take it she likes it, but then again she never likes to talk about sex. From what I gather in our pre-marriage talks, she doesn't have any negative views on it and it wasn't shunned by her parents, it's just that she is shy. She doesn't like me seeing her naked even though I do (ha ha...:/ ). She is…shy very well proportioned…and I tell her how it is so she shouldn’t feel self-conscious. But she still covers up outside of sex.

Another issue is fitness: I work out constantly at home or in the park (calisthenics) and I invite her to join but she politely declines. She runs almost every morning so I thought maybe she gets enough from that. But I have noticed that my weight backpack at home is sometimes at a different weight than when I left it. I have also noticed She has made some serious butt/thigh gains which really stand out on her thin frame. When I ask if she is doing anything differently, she says “maybe it’s the running” then changes the subject. I don’t understand why she is working out in secret. This is most likely my fault though since I used to try and tease her into working out with me; I made a silly remark about how squatting/ham-raises will put more meat on her legs.

Conclusion:

Guys and gals, I need help. I love my wife dearly. She is funnier than any comedian, more disciplined than any soldier, and more beautiful than any celebrity. But she is making me feel weird by trying to secretly improve herself based on my preferences. Her shyness around me is awkward and I want a return to the easy-going pre-marriage . Has anyone had experience with this?

Also: she has made many friends here and still is in contact with a few back home. However she doesn't seem excited to be around them as much as when I offer to go out with her. She's always offers to cancel plans to stay in with me or go for a walk. I thought she might be depressed, but she is super cheerful even when she doesn't know I'm around.

punisha:
...and Lala sang for joy.
With his family, they swayed their hips in gyration to the rhythm of the dance, imitating the snake dance and gladly they approached the snake thread.

TechCapon:
The criminal even had the guts to switch on the air conditioner behind him

Chibuking81:
NTI or part-time don't necessary need approval, like that of NTI usually take place on Saturdays. On NTI what needed is just letter of notification to the board. During my PGDE study, Me and six of our colleagues did that, which I was the one that submitted the letters to the board.

It contains, notification letter to the board , through the principal, with recommendation from the principal recommending that our letters should be honor since it doesn't affect our official duty and time, we also attached our admission letter.

But if on full time program within the state, you only notify the board if you are ready to forfeit your payment for the duration of your study, then your certificate will be recognized. This days I doubt if they are still recognizing and implementing additional qualification.

There was a story of a colleague who only apply to the board to recognized his masters degree after finishing his program. His application ended up been reporting himself by himself to the board.

He was asked to bring to the board their school attendance register, and board going through the register, it was found that his attendance in the school during that period wasn't up to 50%. His salary was seized after that, on the ground that he cheated the government, and he was asked to refund all the money paid to him during his period of study, after several months without salary, at a stage he looked for money to make up the amount with that of unpaid months, so that he will start receiving his salary, I don't know whether they have started paying him by now.

Two things are involve
1. If you want to use your full time Masters or PhD study for this job and are ready to get your pay been put on hold, apply officially to the board through your principal.
2. If you have interest on using your masters and PhD for another job and still meet up with your official duty and still have interested on your full payment, then you can choose to go on with your study without informing the board, but don't apply for it's recognition after the study, else you will refund all your pay during your study period.

Hector008:
There are two categories of study leave.
(1) study leave with pay for part time studies whose studies do not interfer with their work.
And
(2) study leave without pay. Those who want to embark on such studies must forfeit their salary if they are doing a full time programme
Now:
No 1 is approved by the MDAs, the MDAs must be notified in writing 2 months prior to the commencement of the programs

No2 is the exclusive reserve of the Office of permanent secretary, Governor office, establishment, Pension and Training Bureau. You must notify the bureau 2months prior in writing through the head of your MDA. They will put a hold on your salary through the ministry of finance for a period in which the study is running

Oboh662:
I’m 100% sure it was milk leaking from her breast because as soon as she started riding me . It started to leak heavily and drip all over me

emekatex:
Hello honourable colleagues, I heard from someone (a senior colleague) in my school that Governor Wike has agreed to pay the 9months minimum wage arrears but would split it for three months. Did someone hear the same or similar information?

AjalaDtraveller:
Don't o. The handling is done in China. I am avoiding them too for now

starbuck:
As shared by Father Kelvin Ugwu:



https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2676569419126096&id=2149201088529601

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarr
How much for LG lcd TV self?

Uefa champions League about to kick start

And they are here with this one

I hope my sisters will let me have the remote
Infact make i just go buy new TV to avoid stories
Me and them my sisters dey battle with zeeworld
Now them want add another one join

And funny enough na me they sub the decoder everymonth.

Small money go dey with my sisters na only to go do hair them Sabi. Them go dey do Braiding, twisting, side path, Rihanna, Bob Marley, crotchet.
Them go dey fix nails anyhow. The finger nails when our last born fix yesterday dey even show light in the night.

SoccerNet:
Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Buddhism and thousands of others can't be right at the same time

SoccerNet:
We have thousands of of religions in the world.
What if you die and found out you have been practicing the wrong one and believing the wrong God?