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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E52plNsnwIY

TO EVERYONE


I appreciate everyone who has taken their time, used their data to glance, read and used up some more mental megabytes in correcting the typographical errors that I didn't notice when I proofread.
Thank you so much. I never thought l could have these number of viewers, I am grateful.
I hope you continue following the story. Happy Sunday and God bless you.

Peace

Chuks isn’t a saint, the saint is ironical, he is the kind of Christian Brother that would tell a lady; not any kind of lady but the one with “standing breast” as he would call them, that he had a vision where she saved him from a well or opened the padlock to a house of fortune as soon as she falls for his sweet tongue but as soon as he sees another lady with bigger and better standing breasts he dumps the previous so fast that she wouldn’t know how it happened. Thus, you would understand why the framed wedding picture on the wall made me literally roll on the floor in laughter.

The framed picture of Saint Chuks and his wife was hung on the wall behind the 42 inches television along with other pictures. The picture looked funny he was wearing an XXL brown suit, a monkey jacket and flowery yellow tie while his wife; looked vaguely familiar wore a gorgeous wedding gown.

“Guy make yourself at home” he walked past me into the room opposite the dinning.
I was trying hard to figure out why his wife looked so familiar, I carefully scanned the voluminous faces of girls I had done one on two things with. Bingo! I remember her now. I turned to ask Chuks who just walked in from the kitchen with a bottle of Ciroc.
“Guy! No be Bisola Akinwande be this?” I asked while pointing at their wedding picture.
Chuks brightened up after a dark shadow seemed to have passed over his face when I asked the question.
“Ha! yes you remember am! He affirmed my guess in a condescending response.
Wow! I was surprise at the answer and alarmed the tone of his response.
“Ol’boy! me know reason am say you go finally marry Yoruba girl. All that time for NUSO when you they abuse them, see you looking well nourished …”
I couldn’t contain my excitement and surprise but I tried hard to maintain a straight face. “Omo na person wife she be now and her husband sit down next to me before him go carry that Ciroc bottle land me for head like Austin”
“But wait oo” I continued
“No be this girl when you they always abuse that year say she dey smell?” I asked
He ignored me as he sipped from one of the two glasses he had poured the drink into as soon as he sat.
He used to say a lot of awful things about her like not having nothing less than twelve different colors of skin because of her too much bleaching and breasts that had responded to gravity that looked like an half empty sachet of pure water, stretch marks that ran for miles from her breasts to her overused and overworked p***y.
The assurance I got from Chuks made my day. I had met Bisola and their beautiful kids Joseph and Jonah. I got back home a little past nine more relaxed than ever.

It was a great idea as it would enable see my personified nightmare hospitalized and confirm that Jummy lied.
While we watched breaking bad together a call came from Laide, Jummy walked into kitchen to receive the it.
Which took awhile when she finally got back; she stood for a while with arms on waist and finally said
Austin has escaped from the hospital
I didn’t expect such news neither did I except what I said after
“Hmm maybe someone else he robbed had ….”
Jummy’s face made me stop uttering those words
“What do you mean? “
She asked with her eyes widened, she was trying to find out the answer by looking deep into my eyes
“Do you mean Austin was among the guys who robbed you?”
“No oo”
“Why would I think such?” I asked
“Mtcheww I was just distracted jarέ by the movie” I turned to face her while trying hard not to betray a truthful face
“Why would you think such? I continued. In fact let’s get to Austin’s house or call Laide in a bid to prevent her from solving the reason for my response.
She turned to the television and saw a scene where the small time drug dealer scaled a wired fence.
“Wait let me get a shirt” I stood up went into the bedroom
I felt I had over done it she must have seen through my weak deception. I took a while in the bedroom trying to perfect a plan should she ask any further questions as regards Austin been the robbed.
Laide called as soon as we drove off in Jummy’s Toyota Camry pencil she explained that Austin’s girlfriend aided him to leave the hospital because of the widespread contagious virus; Ebola, I wasn’t scared of Ebola compared to Austin because I believed that my long shirts would prevent any body’s sweat from reaching my skin.
I saw no use going over to see him after Laide suggested that we go to the private clinic where he was the next day.
Jummy dropped me at a bus stop from there I made my way to Chuk's residence

She rubbed her fingers gently over my hand. I was caught unaware, instinctively I held her hand, I didn’t know when she moved and sat next to me. We worked our hands all over each other, we kissed she was more than willing to swallow my tongue, the ox standing fan wasn’t doing a great job cooling us as we were basically flaming in passion, I made to peel off her vest while she made for my fly.
Knock! Knock!!
I quickly extricated myself as the person at the door turned the door knob and entered
“Jummy!”
She wasn’t surprised to see the almost lewd girl behind me who was just adjusting.
She ignored my greetings, dumped her handbag on the empty couch and walked straight to the kitchen with the plastic bag she carried. I went into the kitchen as soon as Lola excused herself.
I went into the kitchen to dump the take away pack in the waist bin. She washing the meats she just emptied.
“Baby what are you doing?” I put my hands round her waist she didn’t say anything I was in a dilemma. I had no inclination towards handling this precarious situation.
I went back to the parlor, continued the film. I had watched 2 episodes before she said anything.
“I told you Austin was in a fight and you didn’t even ask about him you didn’t even call after to know what transpired Ehn?”
Oh God! Are we going to talk about this Austin guy again I am even as scared of the name as the person I had momentarily forgotten Jummy was talking.
“What’s going on with you? Immediately I mentioned his name it seemed like blood got drained from you face”
“What do you mean? “ I countered
“I wasn’t actually feeling fine that’s why I didn’t get to call you?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked
“And wait who was that girl?”
“Ha han! that’s Titi’s sister Lola”I replied
I think you have met her once before
“Okay so what were you people doing that made you leave your zip open?”
“What?”
I stood up and quickly zipped up.
“……. military man who bashed Austin’s car beat up him up after he got down to inspect the damage the man did to his car and …..”
I couldn’t take this lie anymore. Why would Jummy be lying like this?
“That’s not what happened”
“Why…?”
I suddenly caught myself what if she was trying to establish that I was at the club last night
“What do mean that’s not what happened were you there?”She asked
“No oo” I answered
When I am done cooking we will go and see him at the hospital

On getting back home I met Titi who was on her way to the church and Lola her younger sister who was a student at the University of Benin.
“Royce good morning”
“Titi what’s up?”
“Producer Royce good morning”
Wow this girl done add oh was what came to my mind, I quickly asked when she came back before my mind starts calculating. She was looking so different from the last time I saw her, which was about 4 months ago.
“I came back last night “
“This school is treating you well oo” I continued
We chatted briefly and we parted
I was having breakfast while watching the season two of breaking bad. When I heard a knock, I paused the DVD and went to see who was at the door.
I ushered Lola in while trying not to stare at the enormous mountains on her chest. Hope she didn’t just come to say hi and leave. She was putting a grey vest and a short leathery skirt that showed her spotless thighs gorgeously.
“You are enjoying hmm only you see chicken”
I smiled as I moved the clothes that were on the couch opposite where I sat to the bedroom for her to sit; I had dumped them there after dry-cleaning.
Before I continued eating I asked her to join me which she turned down politely,
I ate while we chatted
“My sister told me you guys were robbed”
“Oh! don’t mind them, I just thank god nobody was hurt”
“That’s what we are grateful for ooo” she said
“Someday soon they would be caught in jesus name” she continued
I smiled while trying to avert my eyes from her exposed thighs
“Shey you won’t say amen ni”
“When was the last time you were in church?” I asked
“That you have turned to a pastor “
I was trying hard to get my head out of the gutter but she was giving a hard time and a hard D***
As she started opening and closing her thighs I could see a white panty clad orifice.
“Is your baby crying? “ I asked
She smiled and said “do you want to find out?”
“Abi you are too busy with that chick?”
Obviously this girl has changed from the last time she came to visit her sister but I wasn’t surprised either she had the prospect to be very flirtatious.
This was an f***ing open invitation and her eyes spoke more than just ‘have me now!!!’
I wouldn’t have thought about having sex with her, I prided myself a guy who would rather go for girl that’s hard to get than the one throwing herself at me and trust me I have turned down many but this girl here is somewhat different, but right now I could do and undo maybe it’s because it’s been a week since I had sex.

Before the bouncers had everyone leave the club, I was already outside in the parking lot; I sat on the bonnet of our white Mercedes Benz saloon car.
“Could that be Austin?” I wasn’t really sure maybe the alcohol was playing tricks on me, but there was only one way to find out I placed a call to Jummy.
I called thrice before she picked
“What’s up babe? “
“What’s going on? “ I could hear noise in the background some people were shouting
“Royce!! where are you?” she asked ignoring my question
“Am at home “
“Why are you sounding like that? “
She sounded teary
“What’s going on?” I could barely hear her
Austi smfughjy ight .
“What did you say?” I asked
“Austin got into a fight and ……” her voice got drowned in the cacophony.
I quickly jumped down from the bonnet, looked for where to hide.
In between the two range rover cars parked close to the gate I shield myself from the light
“……..He is badly injured”
I ended the call told her that I would call her soon after I knew she was fine.
I stooped down for some minutes and I was already having some aches already
I got tired and made to turn around and look towards the exit.


“Royce!!!”
I heard someone call me, quickly I averted my eyes I could not decipher who it was it sure sounded like Ben, I remained motionless hoping it was another Royce.
“Royce!!”
“Royce no
be you I dey call?” the fellow was walking towards me I wanted to scream and disappear
“Royce! otu ocha!”
I knew this person wasn’t Ben but the one and only p**** father Saint Chuks
I wanted to turn and ask him to keep quiet but the way he called out my name must have attracted many onlookers it was almost as loud as the club speakers. What if Ben or even Jummy or Laide where among the onlookers?
“No be you I dey call?”
“Wetin you dey do here?”
I turned as urged I him to reduce his voice.
He had a mischievous smile plastered on his face: if you tell me I will squeal
He his gait wasn’t stable and he was clinging to a bottle of gulder hand and a pack of cigarettes.
“Who you dey hide from abi you follow f*** Dj Waves Babe? “
“Na him make me dey hide here” I replied him to hush him up.
Now his smile increased so much that his chubby cheeks almost pushed his ears to the back of his head, he shook his head and dropped the cigarette pack on the hood of one of the range rover cars and then stretched fought his hand for a hand shake, he vigorously shook me you would think I was the president and he was my newly appointed minister thanking me for giving him an office with huge portfolio.
I was one of the happiest people in the world that day: I left the club without running into Jummy or anybody. I left Omole to my house around 09:00. Chuks had called earlier requesting that I came by his house later in the evening to meet his wife and kids, it’s been more than four years since we lost contact and more so I could confide in him, he had cousins who were in the army.

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I am a little busy in the studio but be rest assured that I won't keep the suspense for much longer.

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TONGUE-CUFFED
Kamarudeen, an undergraduate from an average but strong Christian background with a very controversial and contradictory view on Christianity finds himself in an immoral learning environment and due to his inquisitive and loquacious nature he’s always at peril in the hands of his lecturers. One night while policemen were trailing some armed robbers they found a phone belonging to Kamal and a pair of slippers on a desolate street, which is coincidentally the same spot where a girl had been raped few minutes before the chase. This makes Kamal the prime suspect in whole saga, he struggles to extricate himself from the cruel hands of lawless policemen.

“What are doing here?”
“This is the first time I am seeing you chilling here”
Emeka pulls a chair and sat opposite me. We discussed at length from business to world politics till late into the night, we headed home I wasn’t bothered seeing Austin; the fear lurked in a big shadow in my mind.
The next day I got a call from Jummy they were heading to the beach in the evening she doesn’t want to be left out as Austin is bringing his girlfriend along also.
I had thought before I see Austin it would be forever I planned to even give Jummy space for the time being but what if Austin hasn’t yet figured me out, maybe I should confide in some one before endangering myself. Or should I just do like….. but he already saw me at Ogba the best thing to do is to ignore the invitation.
My mind was made up I switched off my phone that instant
Throughout the day I never turned up my phone till later at night immediately I powered it on Omoh’s call came in
“Baba wha gwan?”
“Bad man where you dey?” Erick voice filtered in.
These guys are already drowning liquors
“Ohboy!! Wetin happen me and Erick don dey call you since morning where you day? Omoh asked
“I dey house“
“Ok we dey drive come your side now we day that Allen house”
“Wetin dey happen?”
“Guy prepare we don they come oo “
Its only one thing that can make him to be that excited
It took us about 30 minutes navigating traffic to get to our favorite club; we climbed the stairs to the VIP section of the exquisite lounge. We had some ladies from a private university keep us company. I wasn’t entertaining the flirtatious advances the one sitting next to at me I was preoccupied with the bottle and instagram. We heard a loud shattering noise I stood abruptly.
We stood by the railings, it was a commotion down there everything was initially blurring I could see some people interfering. Surprisingly another guy from nowhere walked to the bar and climbed over the white and black marble slab reached out and picked up a baseball bat shaped wine bottle, climbed down and smashed it on the more aggressive guy who was not trying to be restrained or calmed.
DJ Waves just smashed a bottle of wine on a guy’s head the guy went down on the floor quiet and bleeding
We quickly climbed down. I was at the fore-front of the rescue party when I got closer to the victim who was struggling to stand up the bottle wasn’t giving him an easy time. I stood back and started withdrawing as soon as the disco light shined on his face

I asked my agent to look for a very comfortable mini-flat around anywhere: far from Ogba probably Ojota or even Berger. I left after he assured me and placed few phone calls to some other agents. I wasn’t ready to go see the available houses yet, my stomach was churning in hunger the Lagos traffic had dealt greatly with me.
I got home at about 18:00 famished and faint. I was in the kitchen preparing noodles when my phone rang for the umpteenth time I wanted to ignore the call again, since I left their house Jummy never stopped calling I picked once; few minutes after I left their house and lied to her that I was already coming back to the house because her questions were full of concerns and worries, almost an hour twenty minutes have passed now so I thought it better to pick the call. I put it on speaker while I emptied the noodles into a pot.
“Royce!!! Why did you stop picking my calls Ehn”? Her voice boomed from the phone.
“Jummy I had to ….. “
She interrupted and said “is okay.”
It’s obvious she wasn’t as concerned as before there was a different kind of emotion in play here that I could not fathom until she said
“The girl you were going home to see have you met her?”
I was surprised “how did you know I was going home?” I asked
“Ohm you thought I won’t know when you finish with her you will come and explain what the hell is chasing you.”
“What do you mean”? “Nothing is chasing….”
“Royce can you help me with your ….”
On hearing that I spurned quickly to meet Titi’s gaze she was aghast by the way. She was standing close to the kitchens’ door. Obviously I left the entrance to my apartment open in my haste to make something to eat.
How could I be these careless with everything I had experienced this month?
I obliged her request to lend her matches.
Jummy had stopped talking for a while it seemed like she was eavesdropping because immediately Titi left I heard “so it’s true”
“True what?” I asked
You know when Austin told me he saw you at Ogba I didn’t believe”
We spoke for a while after gave her some believable ambiguous explanation.
I forced myself to eat it seemed the hunger had vanished
The thought of Austin monitoring me
It obvious he was skeptical about me or something but’ seeing me at Ogba’ had just said more than enough.
I couldn’t sleep, my head was hot with thinking, I went to the bar close to my house; the mission was to clear my head or useless my too much thinking. I finally sat in a very inconspicuous place, after observing from the door for a while, with the chair facing the door to know who is coming. I was more relaxed until.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It’s been two days since the robbery
Jumoke kept on talking
I didn’t pick all she was saying
How do you keep listening to your errors from another person for the past twelve minutes?
Baby please calm down. I said
All these things you are saying now I have already told myself already
I know I am stubborn now I have learnt my lesson
And I can’t afford to have another experience.





Jumoke and I started dating few months back. I met her in a mass transit bus they popularly call trackers, while I was heading to the village from Holy Trinity.
I had a job in Anambra for a popular artiste who had requested I came down to work with him on his album. I took the opportunity to go see my aunt who was in the village.
I didn’t take note of the corper that sat near the window initially, until I heard her speak Yoruba to someone through the phone.
We exchanged greetings afterwards as other passengers whispered in Igbo and some made remarks in a bid to show off how well travelled they were or something by interpreting what we said.
We exchanged numbers before I alighted at Aguleri Junction.
Little did I know Jumoke lived in Ikeja while I stayed at Ogba



I returned back to my house after spending a little more than how long I had planned, scared of having been identified or even trailed by one of the robbers.
I stayed back at Jummy’s to see the much talked about elder sister who was in the united kingdom and who I had spoken to more often than any other person in their family was getting married next month.
We went to pick her up from the airport, she was more stunning than I thought, won’t compare Laide’s beauty to Jummy’s. They were simply gorgeous individualistically.
Laide wasn’t as cheerful as I had thought she would be, few hours after we arrived home she was so free that you would almost assume that we have been close friends since we were born.
After a stressful day in the studio: an upcoming artiste with his ‘know it all manager’ frustrated my life. I was asleep in the room when I heard a familiar voice that had laid me on a “hot floor” crackle from the sitting room
Look at this buffoon!
Bring out your phone!
I woke up like the African warrior tribe Masai ready for battle in few seconds, except that I was going to battle; tiptoeing with no chants, arms, implements or victory march.
My mind raced like it never did
Have they trailed me down here again?
They mustn’t see my face oo oh God !!
I looked for every available option, I found non I simply had to help these girls fight off these robbers because jumping through the window if there wasn’t a burglary proof it was just a storey building.
I quickly hid the new HTC mini I got the day before in a secure place .Slowly I tiptoed and opened the door which was adjacent the sitting room. I made to align my sight with the opened space when the door was pushed with a force I jumped back and while screaming as Jummy who had come to wake me up screamed even louder.

What is going on?
What happened? chorused Laide and the two guys that followed her.
Guy how far wetin dey sup? The Buffon guy asked I was spooked I couldn’t break away my gaze
He chuckled while gesturing at me and asked why is he looking like that? he has seen a ghost!!!
Everyone laughed as I managed to regain my composure to about 20%.
We walked into the sitting room as Laide introduced me to them as a music producer and Jummy’s boyfriend I uneasily shook hands with Ben who said he was a lecturer in a school in Wales and Ben’s cousin who said he was an engineer.
I was paranoid and obviously trying hard to be normal. I was “no longer at ease”.

I was relieved and breathed in as much air as could when Jummy called me from the kitchen
Baby, you have been acting strange what is it?
Do you know Austin?
Did you have a nightmare?
She kept asking
I couldn’t answer as I urged her to continue chopping the vegetables; she stopped chopping midway to speak with me.
She continued asking questions, and would not have anything except an explanation.
I tried all I could to get her to stop asking but she never did.
Ok fine I’ll tell you when I get back
I want to go buy airtime okay? I parted her assuredly and made for the door after taking my phone from its secure hiding place.
I told them I was coming back I just wanted to buy card. I didn’t stay longer than ten minutes after I awoke before I left; as soon as I closed the gate behind me I literarily ran to the junction boarded a bus to my house agents place in search of the next available house to move in to ASAP. I felt every second spent around Engineer Austin would make him identified me, if he has not done that already

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Will be uploading sooner than later
Happy Sunday

They saw me coming out as they made to enter inside
Why didn’t you open since? Iya Racheal Asked
I thought they wanted to use you to make me open the door. I replied
What do you mean were not robbed also? Daddy Prince asked
Ehn I was but …….
Did they use anybody to open the door? Daddy prince continued
We thank God that nobody was hurt, or even shot; I mean it would have be something else Iya Racheal chipped in
All of my other neighbors including the landlord were outside in the corridor sharing their experiences except Titi whose room was opposite mine, she just came out now with curiousity written all over her face obviously she wasn’t robbed.
Titi did they come your room? Emeka asked
No oo who? She asked
Haa you mean that gunshot did not rustle you up asked Daddy Prince
I heard a bang I didn’t know it was a gun. Titi replied
I was speechless
I watched and read lips they kept on talking.
I got so tired of hearing Mathew and Emeka talk about what they didn’t do and should have done to disarm the robbers, kill them.
I said goodnight to them and went inside
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Hm
My friends common open your eyes, you mad?? He slapped me; the slap dazed me so much that I packed the laptop in to its bag and apologetically handed it to them
Bring out all the money in this house and where is your phone?
I basically handed them all they requested with their accessories
Oya lie down and close your eyes and any peeemm we will come back
I have been lying down for the past 5 mins ‘make I try adjust small’
As I made to move
Bang!!!
Oh God I’m dying I have been shot
I started roaming my hands over my chest until I realized that I just heard a gunshot few meters outside my window as a car drove off.
I was hyperventilating
Have they gone?
Am I safe?
Maybe all these is a dream and I’ll soon wake up or is it true that I have been robbed
I was on a hot sit asking same questions over and over again
Knock! Knock!! Knock!!! Someone was knocking
Have they come back?
They want to finish the whole …….
Royce!! Are you inside?
Royce!! Come out
Is he not answering?
Are you sure he is around?
He is inside look there is no padlock here now
That was when I stood up slowly, walked over the crashed bedroom door to the sitting room

This is the second time I have been robbed this month and the fourth time since I moved into this house about six months ago. Several times, I have be advised to move to another house but I have been adamant for three consecutive times and am still learning a lesson?
Movements and unusual cacophony from the sitting room startled me up from REM (rapid eye movement) With a splitting headache, I sat up, roamed my hands on the bed in the darkness in bid to reach my phone but I could not, flash light illuminated the bedroom through the small gap underneath the door.
There it is under my pillow
I picked it up drew the unlock pattern across the screen, it said wrong, I made to try again, I could hear quickened approaching footsteps, I fidgeted and dropped the phone, it hit the floor, the phone back case opened and its’ battery fell out. As I knelt to couple it. The door to my bedroom crashed open.
Immediately, I closed my eyes, laid face down on the floor and did something I had not done in months.
Lord Jesus, please don’t let them kill me please Lord God
Let me not see me
Please I will pay my ….
I basked in the flashlight
Hey!!
A deeper voice than mine shouted at me and commanded me to stand up
I was as silent as a grave yard
You deaf? Another voice asked
Jesus ooooo!!!
I still remained in that position till he gave me a knock on my head.
No sir I… sorry sir,
I stood up my eyes closed and my hands raised up.
Look at this buffoon!!
They laughed hysterically like I did when I smoked too much marijuana.
Where is your laptop?? He asked?