oyie:

what a sad ending!

Not really. I think a good friendship trumps a mere romance - sometimes.

seun001:

@Rubbermaid,
a wonderful recap i'll say.

so which one be helping him find a chic na,did he ask for help ehn!
u know,am thinking he probably waiting on you to say something and he's still into you dearie.u just seem not to see it,thats according to the current scheme of things as described.

This is me being a good friend but he didn't 'send' me sha

@Ademlife - Thanks for the compliments. I guess we'll see how it all ends but I must warn you that from where I sit there are no indications of a fairy tale ending

Hey, I had no idea this thread was still generating responses after all this time. While the situation is dated, I think it could be relevant to any girl who finds herself wondering since it could give her opinions to consider. Having said that, I think I owe an update to all who responded with advice etc. So here's the bottom line to common questions:

1. What's the status today? - Well, we are good friends. ^{Nothing more} _{nothing less.} As a matter of fact, I ended up moving to a different city for mostly unrelated reasons. In true fashion, he offered to help drive my car (over 12 hrs) to the new city but I did not think it appropriate and shipped the car instead. Anyway, our 'non-relationship' is now fully relegated to long phone calls on the weekends filled with good laughs, sharing ideas, plans, talking about family but nothing more. I should however mention that his work brought him out to my new city about 2 months ago (so he claims) and I must admit that we had a very wonderful time. We met for dinner a couple times, and caught a movie once. He also came over to my sister and her husbands house for dinner and they have kept in touch too. The difference is that I was so glad to see him as a friend and had no questions nor expectations that I was able to enjoy the outings and end them without losing a single wink of sleep. Net of all this is that I think he just truly admires and likes me as a friend. I believe that IF he has any other feelings he has kept them to himself well

2. When/Why did I decide he was not into me? - About two months after that post, my birthday came (we had discussed birthdays) yet he did NOTHING for my birthday - no phone call, no card, nothing. I freaked out initially but then confirmed in my mind that he just was not into me. I felt that if he was interested, my birthday would have been the perfect opportunity to kick things up a notch. We have since talked about my non-birthday since then and he says that he just completely forgot and felt very horrible about it. However, my opinion remains the same - the ladies in the house know what I'm talking about

3. Is he Nigerian? (some asked) - Yes. He is a Nigerian. He was born in the US, but raised in Nigeria, and came back here.

4. Am I Fine with it? A resounding YES. I now enjoy our friendship and breathe better without having to debate whether its just a friendship or anything more. All I know is that he enjoys our conversations (he places over 90% of the calls), and that he admires me and respects me. Anything more must be his own kaya so I don't think about all that.

As a matter of fact, he should be in Nigeria for Christmas. He is single and I know that he talks a lot about all his friends getting married and having babies and that has been coming up more and more in the conversations. I think he is itching to be married and that this newly found desire for Christmas in Nigeria has to do with that or some girl, I'm no fool. So, if interested in meeting him (if don't believe in shyness) do let me know and I will grudgingly introduce you two

He is 31, and in my opinion, quite good looking (dark). He is also quite outgoing but sweet natured and surprisingly down-to-earth underneath the facade of 'fine boy'. I know that he is put-off by loud girls but I should mention that he seems to get a lot of attention from girls so you that will be your Achilles heel should you decide that you are interested in a friendly introduction to see if he is into you.

Cheers.

@Poster.

It's horrible that you are in a marriage by yourself and I feel for you. IT IS SO UNFAIR TO YOU!!
Please find yourself fulfilling relationships with friends (male and [/b]female) [b]IF you decide by all means that you want to remain married to him. This is so that you don't die of neglect. Don't do it to make a point rather do it for your own happiness.

Most of these nairalanders are asking you to cope, pray, etc and not even addressing the fundamental issue that you are not really in a "marriage". They are talking like marriage does not mean companionship, companionship, faithfulness, LOVE, friendship etc. They even have the galls to advice you against potential adultery!!! This is without addressing the fact that the reason you are pining a meaningful male companionship (not to be confused with sex as some think) is that he is out committing adultery in the first place!!!

In essence, a man can take a woman's life and happiness and lock them up in a dungeon without meaningful human contact all in the name of marriage while he goes out prostituting the street until one day when he comes to his senses during his old age wasted and shriveled to rescue her just in time for her to die of old age - a life wasted.

Puh-lease. My sister divorce this loser so you can live a fulfilling life or go make meaningful friendships so you don't lose you marbles worrying about the fool. That or wait for him to die of aids then you can get your freedom.

Lastly, ignore these prowling men giving you their numbers, emails etc - encourage them to expend the energy on their own wives and girlfriends. You go out about your business and meet people - go to the gym, take a dance/art class, go back to college whatever makes you happy.

@T@meD0  - Why must you turn a positive thing into a negative one? Lyrics don't have to conform to grammar - its Art. ANYWAY, I still appreciate you despite yourself  snitching self

@MoOdYLaDy - I disagree!! ALL Naija guys are fine. Haba, each Naija guy must have at least one Naija girl that thinks he's fine!   Even Peter the steward can toast at least one girl in the neighborhood and succeed. Let's give our Naija men props oh

@deevuu - Much love sweetie!! Naija women rock because our men make us feel so special. For real!! Now, go make one Naija woman out there feel special

@dafman - Believe me, we appreciate you guys.

[center]

NAIJA BROTHA

_{culled from} ANGIE STONE's  "Brotha"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcHMBJ5tEqw

He is my king, the only one
Yes he's my brother, Yes he's my friend
I can look at him and he understands
Everything I go through and everything I am

He's my support system, I can't live without him
The best things since sliced bread
are his words, his hugs, his lips, his touch
And I just want the whole world to know
About my

Naija brotha, I love ya
And I'll never try to hurt ya
I want you to know that
I'm here for you, forever true

Cuz you're my Naija brotha, fine brotha
And there is no one above ya
I want ya to know that
I'm here for you, forever true


He's misunderstood, some say that
He's up to no good around the western world
Well, for your information
Alot of my Naija brotha's got education
Now check it

You got your Bank brotha
Your Enterprising brotha
Your down-for-whatever-chillin'-at-the-cafe brotha
Your Oil-n-IT brothas, and to everyone of ya'll striving brothas
You know that we loves ya,

My Naija brotha, I love ya
And I'll never try to hurt ya
I want you to know that
I'm here for you, forever true

Cuz you're my Naija brotha, strong brotha
And there is no one  above ya
I want ya to know that
I'm here for you, forever true

You mean so much to me, you give me what I need
I'm so proud of you
I love you for staying strong, you got it goin' on
I'm so proud of you

Going through thick and thin, brothas you always win
I'm so proud of you
Whenever you're facin' doubt, brotha's will work it out
I'm so proud of you
I got unshakable faith in you
Cuz you're my

Naija brotha, I love ya
And I'll never try to hurt ya
I want you to know that
I'm here for you, forever true

Cuz you're my Naija brotha, strong brotha
And there is no one  above ya
I want ya to know that
I'm here for you, forever true

For everyone of you Naija brothas, know that we loves ya

True!

[/center]

Soundmind:

Bros,
You have nothing to fear about. I am -ve, my ex girlfie is +ve, my present girlfie is +ve. We sleeps together though protected.
I broke with my ex because i caught with other 3 guys at 3 different times and she denied it. She later came back and told me that it was temptation that put her into that not because she is +ve. [/b]Health experts have told me how to get a child from her if i want. If the lady care and respect you much, go ahead and marry her.
I have seen such marriage and they are very happy.
This is when the lady need you most.
Who knows if God will hear her [b]prayer of healing through u?

OK, I am convinced this is a joke or people have lost their minds. Do you see a dangerous pattern in the emphasized text above? And 'health experts' are encouraging this?! prayer of healing

@Nihil-ce-M, Playette, Davidylan, Ralvy, dasarge, seun, ugonna0071 - you guys seem to be the reasonable voices here.

@ others, has the world gone mad?!! I am hearing "follow your heart", compassion, "you may not catch it, "
Do you people think HIV is chicken pox? Or, is it so prevalent in Nigeria now that it really doesn't matter anymore.

emike-i:

Actually, Septrin is an HIV medication, it's a prophylaxis against a rear type of pneumonia in HIV patients. u can marry your galfriend and live happily, u just need to be counselled on how not to get infected and how to produce HIV negative children. I know, because i see everyday. if we want to combat HIV in our country and society, we need to combat stigma and discrimination, first. all judgmental attitudes and statements will never help. HIV can happen to anybody, no matter how morally upright you are. i have seen so many good people living HIV, and have even died. What about children that die everyday from HIV, what sin or sexual immorality did they committ? please let's support PLWHA, especially as christians ,God expects us to show compassion on weak and helpless. "show mercy and u will be shown mercy"

@emike-i -
(1) To be a compassionate Christian does not mean that you forego common sense. The same way as being a Christian should not make you insane enough to jump into a lion's den thinking God will save you (ask about that Ibadan man from years ago that became lunch for the lions). Christianity does not equate to stupidity. (2) Thinking that he can CONTINUE to have unprotected sex with his HIV girlfriend in order to have HIV negative children is misguided (there is a reason it is called "unprotected sex" . Saying "You see it everyday" as your reason to encourage this man to do such a thing is simply irresponsible of you. (3) [/b]You then contradict yourself by also saying you have "seen so many good people living with HIV, and have even died" - mmh, think about that one for a minute. Okay, per chance, these people who you see having 'successful' unprotected sex are the same in number two that you see dying ie the "good people" dying of the infection? It is either you SEE a lot, or maybe common sense dictates that those SAME people are unwittingly infecting and killing themselves from the disease.
[b]
HIV has a stigma in every corner of this world and despite the compassion you urge him to have, the fact (science) of the matter is that HIV will not be curtailed by playing Russian Roulette with your private parts while thinking 'God-Help-me' ! That attitude towards HIV/AIDS is stupid and science dictates that they will catch it if they continue to do so. It also will not be curtailed by the mass acceptance of HIV as a friendly, inevitable disease to live with (as I am witnessing on Nairaland) . It will only be curtailed by people changing the behavior that leads to more people (including themselves) getting infected.

DON'T HAVE, OR ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH AN HIV PERSON. ACT RESPONSIBLY AND STOP THE SPREAD OF THIS DEADLY DISEASE.

PS - People keep saying "if he marries her" as if that's the only time he'll sleep with her. The mugu is already sleeping with her, and apparently she has also slept around so marriage is inconsequential - it is not the issue. The issue is having unprotected sex with her.

Siena:

From the reaction of negative folk on here, all I can say is, I hope you're never in a position of rejection.

Just think about it.

Siena:

@ Scatter: That's harsh.

@Sienna

Yeah. That's harsh but truth is so is life. You seem very sympathetic to the HIV infected girlfriend not sure why. But, whatever the case, If this Roberts24 poster guy was your brother would you encourage him to risk his life because life has dealt his girl a serious uppercut blow ^{most likely} as a result of her sexual decisions

Please let's be real and save the rose-tinted glasses, If Roberts24 was a good friend or family member, I would pull his ears so he hears me well and tell him to run fast. All that nonsense talk of love making it okay is pure nonsense and is not cute at all.

Reality is that love does come and love does go, but HIV is permanent - till death.

PS - I can't believe that OP said he was "lucky this time" and that she is taking SEPTRIN. So ignorant!! HIV is not by luck - it is by making sensible decisions - including being sexually responsible. Also when did septrin (AFAIK used for strep throat etc) become HIV medication?!! The bible says "My people perish due to lack of knowledge" and I think that's the fate of ignorant buffoons like this poster guy who 'got lucky' but by all means wants to jeopardize his health because of "love". He will perish too - along with his ignorant, self-medicating, septrin babe. For those who love Romeo and Juliet - that's cute! [Dripping with sarcasm]

No. I can't teach anybody English - it's not my job. I save my skills for my professional presentations, thesis, and other communications.
Additionally, it looks like those who need to improve their language skills are not bothered enough to take advantage of classroom lessons, or dedicate themselves to self-help solutions.

Ironically, we wonder why so many Nigerian graduates are treated like crap when they apply for jobs. Prove this, prove that, line up, take a test, touch the sky, hop like a toad, etc.

Bad English is the reason! If many can graduate from Universities with such poor grammar then of course, all bets will be off in assessing the quality of their credentials.

Dear Seun - Nairaland Moderator,

This is a formal request asking that you ban me [quickly] from your forum. Please do so before the level of English Ninglish used here kills, maims, or adulterates my own command of proper English grammar.

Following my recent visits, I have left Nairaland wondering what in heaven's name is happening in Nigerian classrooms? What has happened to those days of yore when you were drilled until you mastered correct usage of English grammar by Primary three?!

For example, I clicked on the discussion item at the top of the 'hot list' today and almost suffered a fatal blow when the poster started with "Have you ever sit, " I understand occasional 'slip-ups' however, the repeated instances on this forum has lead me to believe that these folks just never learned proper English, or have not bothered to keep up by reading well written literature or revisiting early lessons from time to time (and as needed).

I am now officially fed-up with Ninglish and would like to turn-in my Nairaland membership before irreparable damage is done. I will now be moving over to the Nigerian Village Square. Nigerians there seem to have better control of the language. Ironically, they seem to make better sense too.

Respectfully,

Rubbermaid.

PS - English is your friend. Blame those who made it our national language. Peace.

There is no competition self - even the African fashion Sierra Leone (and all others) will wear originated from Nigeria
So I doubt that she will pull it off like Mfon - case in point (photo #2)

Mukina,
haba this is NAIRAland o,

How can Sierria Leone win with as many Naijas as we have? Her being second is just a temporary setback - you know, slow start

Ok, contest is now on Nigeria vs Sierra Leone - a race to the finish

Mfonobong Essiet is representing Nigeria at the 3rd Annual Miss Africa USA pageant.
She is currently ranking second next to Miss Sierra Leone

Scroll to the bottom of this page and vote to support Miss Nigeria as your favorite queen

http://www.missafricaunitedstates.com/mausa/vote.htm

Recommend your favorite GPS Navigation System:

Please give us the name and model of your favorite, the reason you like it, how much you purchased it for and where you bought it.
Also kindly include any drawbacks or regrets you have with the product.
If you have a link to the product please graciously include it too. Thanks!

amaikama:

i hate men when they broke up with a lady few months or years later they ran after her as if their life depends on the lady. when the going was good, she was the pretties thing in the world for you but the slightest thing she did or don't do you kicked her out of your life as if she is not human being to make mistake or she perfect enough not to make one hell of a mistake in life and as such she don't deserve a second chance while you two are together.

And to the ladies folk who do think and still feel their Ex as if their privates is all that is in this life. you are all shortening your life span. A man feels he is not getting the juice like he use to and decide to look for a sweeter juice and left you, while sucking on the new juice and get tired of it or it's not so sweet as you and decide to give you a call or you while in another relationship still thinks about him. You are more of a LovePeddler than a LovePeddler

I want you all to take it to the bank and save it.

With all due respect, Honorable, Chief Mr. Amaikama, MDM, PDP, ODE, CIPP, the people have asked me to ask you these questions:
They are hoping you can provide them valuable insights on the industry of banking + saving (investing) of Instruments.

PS - In a follow-on meeting, the people would also like your wisdom on how a female (viz-a-viz the poster) is considered transformed into what you call a LovePeddler solely based on a consideration of lunch with her ex. THANK YOU SIR FOR ALL ENLIGHTENMENT.

Here are the questions received regarding your wisdom on banking of body parts:

1. What is the name of the bank you reference?

2. Where is it located and how long has it been in business? Is it approved and regulated by CBN?

3. What is the prime interest rate offered?

4. Who collects on the original deposit [plus interest] in the event that the depositor dies?

5. Who is the title of ownership certificate awarded to? - The depositor? The maker? The bank?


Thank you very much Honorable sir for any educational insight, and enlightenment you provide to we, your people. We are greatly honored.

it was a hypothesis

What does the pythagorean theory have to do with making money?

And now for a little bit of entertainment from the movie "Closer".
In this scene, the ex-husband who is now the present love interest is confronted by the ex-boyfriend who she left the husband for in the first place.


Warning; strong language!! http://youtube.com/watch?v=IbNkF0FA4wQ

No, I 'm laughing because I believe we are actually very good friends in the real world. No wonder we make sense

I took a good guess from your favorite scripture, your location, and G-money. By the way, I go be like you one day o.

Hints:
You got a generic email from me today. Corporate world. I go slap them for you. My momsie makes wicked efo. Thornton. New House. PM. Ok, I stop here.

Nothing dey shake. Ssshhh. Good to see u here

_{I have a meeting in an hour but I'll call or send a txt later.}

give me a clue

pinkttea:

@mafolayomi
who said anytime about starting again, start what if i may ask?

@Rubbermaid

if i decide to have this lunch, it will be out of curiosity
does that sound comfused to u child!

Nope, you deciding to have lunch with your ex does not sound comfused to me.
Confusion is more that you don't know what to decide - but hey, what's important is that having weighed the potential outcome, you do what you want.
Good luck.

Maybe he wants to tell her he is HIV positive and she should check herself _{**just kidding**}

I AM SO SICK OF HEARING WHAT HE WANTS

We are such a catering society. The only thing that should matter is WHAT SHE WANTS as the outcome of this phone call/request/meeting.

If she wants him back then she knows what to do
If she does not want to jeopardize her current relationship then she knows what to do
If she wants to eat 'lunch' with him, wipe her mouth and then pretend she never ate anything then she knows what to do

It's all about WHAT SHE WANTS.

This game of being confused is so yesterday

help me ask the fool

Don't mind all these confused shildrenses
he he he

G-money do you know why I am laughing?

what ex wants
what ex wants
what ex wants
vs
what the poster wants
what the poster wants
what the poster wants
vs
what current boyfriend wants
what current boyfriend wants
what current boyfriend wants

She should tell us what she wants.

Maybe she wants to hear his sweet raps so she can squeeze his balls and go for blood [aka revenge]
Maybe she wants to hear his sweet raps so she can sleep at night knowing that she has two options [aka greed, indecisiveness, cheating]
Maybe she wants to hear OUR words of advice so she can feel like she is really in a dilemma "oh my, I am confused" - she says in a tiny voice then faints.

_*Nonsense* Only Pinkttea knows what she wants - the past or present. I bet you the present will be past if he hears of a secret meeting with the ex.

I woke up this morning, read the [digital] papers and let out a big smile

Why?!! This article titled "Say Nigeria is corrupt without showing its intellect and be a “hostile nation" - Foreign Affairs"

Any country that presents Nigeria as corrupt without showcasing the intellect of Nigerians would be declared a “hostile nation”. This is a new foreign policy called “Citizenship Diplo-macy” unfolded by the Minister of Foreign Affairs.

It is geared towards “protecting” the image and integrity of Nigeria and retaliates against countries who are hostile and who brand Nigeria as “corrupt”.

I smell change for Nigeria and it smells very sweet. I just hope our government means it and declares 'bad press nations' HOSTILE!
Our doctors are saving their lives, other citizens are "packing their dudu" only so that they can turn around and say nonsense about us
Let them all go to hell. We'll drink our own oil if we have to, rather than have them keep tarnishing our image. I like the policy jo

http://www.ngex.com/news/public/newsinfo.php?nid=4873#

Pinkttea,

I see the classic female mistake here. In three of your posts you mention what he wants.
How about you? Your want should be the most important to you in this case - what do you want?

You had a bad break up, _{yes, I know it must have been bad since you guys have not spoken in 9 months} YET:

[list]
[li]He wants to talk in person over lunch not on the phone[/li]
[li]He wants to meet you[/li]
[li]"But with the way the break up was, i just can't help but wonder what he wants." _{- you said}[/li]
[/list]

You say that what you have now matters more to you than rekindling what you had, so my 2 cents is to forget what he wants and start focusing on what you want OR don't want to happen to what you have right now. Good luck

ANUOLUWAPO's Blog summarizes them well

http://tokunbo.tigblog.org/post/168643?setlangcookie=true


IGNIS
I went shopping a couple of weeks ago with a friend - my mom - and while trying to buy a blender, I saw a gas cooker, really beautiful and all that and I was about asking for it to be moved to the check out counter, when I saw the name of the manufacturer - Ignis - and I just screamed, "don't even touch it"! Now, why would I do that, you might ask? I don't care if they make the best goddam electronics in the world, but a company that relies on infidelity to make a sale, is in my oipnion, very shallow!


What the fish does "a smart wife's first affair" mean?! So after the first one with Ignis, I am entitled to more - as long as Ignis is the first one?! With stupid billboards all over town encouraging women to cheat on their husbands with a regridgerator or the one with the washing machine pulling a woman's already short skirt (that one was creepy) and so many stupid things they insinuate, you can be rest assured i am not buying an Ignis product for as long as I live and neither will I allow anyone I know buy it, unless they change their sales tactics.


Shish!


I might as well mention a few of the adverts that reall vex me, while I'm on the topic.

HARPIC
Bukky Wright and that annoying Harpic advert?! Everything was really cool and almost believable until she seats down in the lady's house and she shoves a container of harpic in her face, while asking if any part of her house gives her any problem, duh?! The lady should have said she had tooth ache and allowed Bukky to test "the power of harpic" on her mouth then, abi no be so?! Why didnt Bukky hide the bottle and ask the question and we would have been pleasantly surprised if after the woman said she had issues with her but, I beg your pardon, her toilet, Bukky brings out the bottle and the hogbladash continued.

CHIVITA
Julius-the-eccelectic Agwu, That your Hollandia advert get as he be. " So tell me now hallofyuu (all of you), " ", it's got kalzium, (calcium) , I can't even remember all the mistakes-with-attitude wey the guy make, How much did they pay you, really?! That advert is really stupid. Although the chic is hot , Was that the incentive?! And Jide Kososko, I love Chivita, but I hate that advert!



SKYE BANK

Skye bank, skye bank, skye bank, una dey sing o! I hope say the song dey bring in dividends sha, because he be like say instead make una train una staff for proper customer service, na accapella una dey do. Remember say Charles Soludo can ask for a bigger capital base again soon o, This una sing sing,, hope say he dey bring in money sha,


AMBI PUR
Ambi Pur encorages young women to only date older men with Ambi Pur in their cars,


VICKS
5555, Thank goodness the entire album waxed to make us buy vicks lemon plus has been edited and we are saved from having to waste our time watching (well, pretty girls) performing a double clay (as opposed to a double platinum) single, just to get us to buy vicks, which i stopped buying by the way, I settled for baba blue, I'll tell you why.



I can so identify with the wierd looking guy in the blue outfit that the advert makes so much sense, and the ingrained humor is so typically Nigerian that it scores so much points with me,


Bank PHB has the best concepts I have come accross in a long long time, well, second only to Jimi Agbaje's "runnning for governor ads", and it shows people are thinking, For that and other reasons, I have decided UBA with their dead-man-talking-ads is out and bank PHB, here I come!


The CBN bit about the lady with the sick child who went to see a doctor and brought out money from her bra was really funny and nice and I have heard one or two people I know, who would ordinarily not give a hoot about where money comes from, correct others as per handling the naira with care, So the ad worked, well kind of :-)


The Dettol cool and Dettol Pure ads are equally nice.


Ah, Ariel gold too!


Viva Bournvita! My 19 months old cousin walks up to his mom and says he wants bournvita and she says "No". A simple " but every child deserves bournvita" made her scurry to the kitchen to prepare a full bottle of Bournvita for him! Now, that is a lovely adavert!


The list of the "good guys" is endless - the old MAMSER adverts, 7up's Fido Dido, Nasco Adverts, among others,


Ok, gotto get back to work, next will be my thoughts on the Obasanjo, Atiku, EFCC, INEC, Ala-Akala,National Awards, Baba Modinat, imbroglio,


Miss me.

/Nunu.

@Salsera,

So much thanks for the valuable insight - I very much appreciate it. Thank you!!!

simply_me:

you're all goats.

simply_me:

i talked about those who havent stepped out of their cocoon because these people say tell her that 5m is not enough to spend in a year in Nigeria, i meant that they say that as if life is as rosy as they think outside Nigeria - its not - it is realy suffer head outside Nigeria.

simply_me:

the hostility is because of the way people talk - telling her the luxuries that she can't even afford where she is coming from and talking as if it is sufferness to live in Nigeria.

simply_me - you are really ANGRY!! Too bad.

You have suffered so much that the idea that someone has ordinary N5M in discretionary income is mind blowing to you - Poverty is a very bad thing o

Heya - abeg if Cambodia is making you suffer so much that you are now bitter then go home. I could use a housegirl you know, and if I budget well I just maybe able to spare N1 p.a for you - you, know, help you out of your misery.

My own hard earned money that I want to spend is making you tear your pant,

na wa for hatorade o.

Yes. They belong to the same farm

Why do people mangle the English grammar?