₦airaland Forum

fuke: All of you are making comments from one side of a story.

You should ask for the other side.

There must be a reason why a father of four graduates
decides to take a new wife.

Many of you do not know what women are.

I bet the man didn't take a new wife b/cos of gratuity.

If he had money to produce 4 graduates he surely had money
to have 2 wives and forget about training his children. '

There are men like that, many.

One thing I have found out in life is that it is very easy to be ungrateful.

The children can do what they like, the law of karma is there.

It accepts no excuses and takes no apology.

Well said.

koruji: Well, you can pray all you want. What are your kids supposed to do if after decades of prayer someone actually went ahead to try to inhabit where you built, and definitely gunning to make it all in vain? Throw the man and his new wife out!

The new wife may be or may not be innocent, the real issue is the man's lack of sense. As I said above, if he is rich enough to marry another wife he should be rich enough to get her a new house too. Human empathy would show anyone that the "so called" new wife would move to dispose of the old woman in any way possible. Two women cannot live together under normal circumstances talkless of this type of incogruity.

Those who insist on polygamy and continue to practice it only multiply their own pains, and they destroy the future of their own children.

Are you a fcking mooron?

Revolva: Well that serves the man right in his hardtimes and in the hardship of the country that man did not respect himself and his happy family ,and want a young witch who has now cause havoc to the family,

All this desperate young ladies are dangerous oo how could she make the mans wife to get ill and for what reason just so she can be the only one and the kkids wiLl have to move out of the house and she and the old fool will live together then she wiLl then kill the man and claim the house omo she no dey fear oo

This one is a confirmed reetard!

Product of a failed education system.

koruji: That lack of a sense of justice always shows up in your post, once it has to do with some religious belief.

How can a woman work to raise four kids, the man retires and then for a reward finds the old woman a definite constant source of heartache in her old age.

The girl he married is probably much younger than some of his kids.

[size=14pt]Justice, even if we concede that he can have his "new wife", decrees that if he is rich enough to marry another woman at that old age, he must also be rich enough to get her a house of her own. The old building belongs to the woman and her kids. Period.[/size]

See! That wasn't so hard, if you only learn to temper religious belief with human empathy.

How?

The woman and kids paid for it?

Or are you just deluded?

dayokanu: Just like someone hissing at you can cause an accident.

A man took a decision he thought was best for himself and he is accused of causing others mental breakdown?

When i toasted you many years ago and you said no cause me breakdown, When you broke up with your bf, should he also hold you accountable to wrecking his life?

No min am!

dayokanu: I would feel bad but what can i do? Can i force someone to like me, keep liking me or what can i do?

When your past bf told you it was over would you force him to be with you?

the best thing is to move on with your life and be glad you left it alive.

If you see a man beating a woman because she ditched him, I am sure you would be the first to call him a LOSER

GBAM!!!

Read the typical woman's response on this thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/820236/what-not-after-first-date/2#msg9728410

They know and love how to insult an upset man when a woman does wrong to him but when similar is done to them, they start stating some "rules of engagement" and "decency rules". Rules they don't follow.

Typical! The average woman loves to do to others what they would not want done to them.

If a woman has nothing to lose, she would leave a relationship she is not interested in anymore without any pity or contrition. FACT!

Contrition when the average woman does wrong is ZERO. As far as they are concerned, "We are the weaker sex, so it is acceptable".

Let it be a man that a girl likes and approaches him and he is rude to her to ensure she leaves him alone, women here will be the first to scream that was unwarranted and he is arrogant and classless, but if they do it "Oh, it is because she does not want to be disturbed". Always some stepwid excuses for bad behaviours they would not want done to them but they are happy to do to others.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Re: the bolded, my point exactly! Now in that situation, wouldn't you feel it's your right to take the two-timing, selfish spouse to the drycleaners??

Say, as little compensation for putting you through that??[/quote]Because?

Na by force to like you?

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Simple. Because she stood by him through thick and thin!!

Probably even had to endure his snoring at night too...[/quote]You know them?

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Maybe I would have said all that, or maybe I wouldn't have.

Shame, but this thread is about the man's actions, not an assumption of the woman's actions based on a series of "what-if's".[/quote]No, not maybe! You WOULD have.

From your mentality and choice of dysphemistic adjectives, I am sure you would.

If she was the one that had a little bit of money and then decided she is tired of the marriage at over 60 and leaves, YOU (Efemena) will not condemn her. YOU will blame the man and say "it is his fault, he did not make her happy and she just got tired". And majority of the women here will agree with you, with strong support from professional mugu, all-singing, all-dancing, mash-potato-brains, puppet, muppet, women-arselicking bandwagon of Real Men.

Well, guess what?

It seems she he did not make him happy and he just got tired.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]What made his life "long-suffering"?

~ Did he have to endure the pain of 4 child births? Or endure the physical changes to one's body after child birth?

~ Did he have sleepless nights nursing the kids? Infact, was he ever left holding the baby?

~ Did he combine housework, child minding, running after his spouse's whims / demands for bedmatic exercises even when exhausted?

~ Did he even, ever learn how to cook? Do his own laundry? And I bet in addition to all that, his wife must have been forced to get involved in some petty trade, just to supplement the household income.

~ So what exactly made his life "long-suffering"?[/quote]No 1, dem force her to do all that?

No 2, she did not get any satisfaction from all those?

No 3, so when he is going out in the burning sun to pay for diaper and put food on the table and paying school fees for 4 kids, he is not suffering? When he is in a house with an irrational person that sometimes behaves like a quarter-lunatic, he is not suffering? When he has to take all kinds of demeaning shyt by superiors at work because he cannot afford to quit, he is not suffering? When he is seeing arses he would love to tap for 2 straight weeks but he cannot he is not suffering? When he is acting as driver of the family and taking people from A to B? When he has to listen to useless nags all day and argue over senseless rubbish from someone that just thinks "Me, me, me", it is not suffering? When he has to listen to emotional rants and complaints that he has no interest in, that is not suffering?

It is only what women do that is worth mentioning? Go tell that to some shyt head Real Man. This man is from Sagamu!

If all you listed is so much suffering how come women are the ones desperate to marry? They love suffering? They are professional self-harmers?

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Gottcha! Don't be coy, Sagamite. I'd like to hear it (directly) from the horse's mouth, so to speak.[/quote]Are you having a laff?

Got me where?

You can't figure out what I wish for my daughter despite the list I put there?

Are you having a laff? I have to spell it out for you like ABCD?

You got what?

dayokanu: My mom, My sister, my aunt would take out whatever she brought into the union. if she has a car, she would rive her car out. if they have joint accounts or investment she would get her part of that. But nothing that belongs to the man.

I would never support greed. Its not like the womans gratuity is being demanded here.

if the woman wanted to marry someone else, Would you have told her to part with her gratuity also just because she wanted out?

You should be asking her that what if as a civil servant he was not being paid his gratuity & pension due to corruption and lets say the woman was a petty trader all her life and did well, then she decides in old age that she is tired of him and wants to leave the relationship, will Efemena say she should have left part of her money for him?

Or would she say "Shebi he is a man. He should have planned for his old age" and "Well, he was not treating her right. That is why she would be leaving him at this old age. Next time he should respect his woman".

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Good. He's free to do so, but without the spoils of his first marriage.

I know the payment being discussed here is probably peanuts, but those peanuts which he intends to spend on his little gold-digger are his long suffering wife's retirement and his kids inheritance.

Let him go over to his greener pastures, empty handed.[/quote]He is not leaving with the spoils of his first marriage. He is leaving with the spoils of his hard work during his long-suffering life of hard work.

I can guarantee you that if you go and look at the paperwork of the gratuity and paychecks (i.e. the spoils) it was addressed to Mr X, not the marriage of Mr and Mrs X.

It becomes inheritance when he dies, not before it. And even when he dies, it is inheritance only to people he wishes to will it to.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Ah! But Sagamite is one clever dude now!

He's refused to answer a vital part of my question. i.e: Would he mind if a man treated his very own daughter that way??[/quote]Did I miss out daughter in my list?

Oh shyt!

Ok. Try and figure out what you think I would have said.

pembisco: no u dnt mean it bro,u knw u dnt wish ur sis or mum 2b treated same way

Okay, abeg tell me what I mean.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Okay, let's for the sake of this argument say the answer to your questions are: No, they don't count, No she never obeyed him, No she never loved him nor honoured him. Infact, ontop of all that, she was a wicked, self-centred, nasty, difficult woman and a nightmare to live with. She was the very essence of a bad woman.

Then what on earth stopped him from upping sticks and leaving then? Why stick with such an "evil" woman when he was penniless koboless?

Why did the "scales" suddenly fall off his eyes when the gratuity payment came through?

I asked this before and I'll ask it again - would you wish the fate of this lady on your daughter? Sister? Mother? Aunt? or any other close female relative??

I think you know within yourself that this guy was b@ng out of order.[/quote]He can choose when it is convenient for and best for him to leave a relationship. That is his business.

And that is EXACTLY what virtually all women do and they hardly ever get vituperated for it.

I wish my sister, mother, aunt, sister-in-law, fairy god-mother, babalawo's wife, pure water seller, Amala specialist etc any fate they deserve in life.

I treat people the way they deserve to be treated. That is my ethos in life.

armyofone: Sagamite:
I mean it, i really do. It has to be so in a perfect world. I mean give her everything and start a new life with whomever.
I'm an advocate of any woman being treated well/right.

And also an advocate of men can rot for all you care as long as the woman gets what she wants.

Perfecto World of armyfuneyankan!

hercules07: The man was gentle sha, some men will insist on the second wife being in that home, if they kids make too much noise, he will bring in the third one. Those kids do not have focus in life, instead of hustling to make it in life so they can take care of their mom, they are sitting down in their papa's house feeling like dons.

All 4 of them o!

I am almost convinced there is hardly anyway they would be like that without the mother having brought them up hating their father. Justifiably or not.

Now is that a type of woman this man should spend the rest of his precious, short remaining life with just to please the insecurities of women teriffied of being unloved and lonely in old age? Or to please some social marriage values?

He should submit his life to misery till he dies?

Maybe the man retired and realised "Fck it! Life is so short, I better fcking enjoy it"!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Because they were married. You know, for better for worse

or should I say for worse for better.

But our regular John Doe wants it to be for worse (I stay), for better (I ditch you and just waka...)[/quote]That does not answer my question.

How does being married "for better for worse" make one party entitled to another party's sweat?

Now you have raised more questions:

What makes you think marriage vows count for shyt? Did she always obey him? Did she always love him? Did she always honour him?

You are recantng worthless rituals?

[quote author=Efemena_xy]What ever belongs to Patrick belongs to Peter and vise versa, so it shouldn't matter.[/quote]Because?

chaircover: Dayo you are so out of touch. Uni fees, handouts, accommodation, lecturer backhands and so on is not a walk in the park. Many many parents cant afford to send their kids to uni and that is a fact.

Lets assume that all 4 kids are aged over 20. How can someone poison the minds of kids that grown. meanwhile lets for argument sake that their minds were poisoned. He couldn't have been a good dad in the first instance or it wouldn't have been so easy to poison all 4 minds.

Who says that he went to live in the rented flat with wife number 2? If he did then why were the kids able to throw his things out of the house. Looks like he was keeping two homes.

How far are you sure when they were growing up and he was going out to hustle in Lagos and its go-slow from 7am to 10pm to put food on the table and has no time to be with kids, the lovely and dedicated wife was not frequently bad mouthing him to the kids and raising them up to hate him?

I am sure if that is the case, you women will say "he must have not been a good husband that is the only reason she would do that".

[quote author=Efemena_xy]No, not another person's but her's. They were married, not boyfriend and girlfriend. So what belonged to him belongs to her and vise versa. That's how it works in marriage.

Now if he decides to introduce a third person into the equation a.k.a the new wife, fine, let him do so - but not with the money that was earned from his first marriage.

I don't believe in robbing Peter (first wife) to pay Paul. Let Paul (yeye gold-digging new wife) go make it out on her own![/quote]But you believe in robbing Patrick (the husband) to pay Peter?

chaircover: I am getting more and more convinced that dayo and saga are one and the same person.

The moment I saw Dayo questioning what right the woman had to half his gratuity, I knew that saga will be in here soon but not this soon. It took exactly 6 minutes

Dayo from what I read up there, my interpretation is that the man still lived at home with wifey but he rented a place for his sisi bride and it was from the family house that his things were thrown out.

chaircover: Saga o ti de o

If she was that bad, why didn't he leave her 25, 20, 15, 10 years ago?

Whay wait until he came into some money? Why did he marry an omoge? why didn't he go off with a 60 year old pensioner like himself. Oloju kokoro niyen

Ejo e ko, I maybe wouldnt have minded so much if the man had been rich and she had enjoyed his money all these years. . . . can you imagine! now that the soup is ready to be served the man went off and danced azonto with one sisi eko. . . . .and then men complain that all the spinsters out there are gold diggers. why wont they dig, when each time they sow, they are discarded before they have a time to reap. nonsense. He is a cretin

Why wait?

Maybe because that is the best time that maximises benefit to him.

If a woman wants to do the same is that not the same tactics she would use?

Ah! Shair-Shair! Me I know women. Mo mor yin!

She would do her own in the best way that benefits her and you know what? Real Men and women would turn around and blame him saying "He did not treat her right", "She is long suffering".

Personally, frankly, I have some pity for her because she is from an era of mostly dedicated and good women.

If it was any of the women of this generation, I no go feel any pity for them. As a matter of fact, I wish this type of misery on at least about 30% of them in future.

No pity!

armyofone: The man is wrong! how can you treat someone like that? why didn't he share the money? i mean give her some.

Pple divorce everyday but please divorce with some sense and your sanity intact. a woman who has been with you all that long, given you 4 kids that you both raised! now you retire and hook up with a younger woman. How abt sharing the mooney or giving everything to her and start life afresh with your opeke?
What the man did was wrong. We may never know what their mama went through for the children to have acted like that.
no one is saying don't divorce but give that woman what she deserved!

ROFLMAO!!!

I honestly am laughing hard. I really believe you don't particularly believe in some of the things you say like the one in the bold, you just say it to get a reaction.

Ivynwa: Who is accusing Mac (who is a moslem) of sanctioning polygamy when his religion accepts that?

It is clear that the whole issue affected the woman mentally, someone once narrated to me how the same thing happened to their mother when their father took a second wife and they had to be treating her in a psychiatric hospital. What even gives some men the audacity to turn around and consider their wives "unbefitting" after getting old with them? The children should get medical help for their mother and stop patronizing the native doctors-prophets-and-prophetess that only help in breaking families apart with their crazy divinations and finger pointing.

As per the man the right proverb for him should be "Onye kpatara nku ahuhu si ngwere biara ya ugwo/ He who fetched an ant-ridden firewood invited lizards". What is that other woman still doing in that place? She better find her way and allow this unfortunate family to pull themselves together.

The United Nations Universal Declaration on Human Rights.

Articles 16 and 20 specifically.

Furthermore, even without this, who you choose to be with is a fundamental human right.

It is amazing the way most women have come here to educate Real Men about how the woman is a victim. How she has given the best years of her life. How she has suffered with him. How she gave him 4 wonderful kids.

They have come to feed their Real Men the wonderful being of women and shyt being of man, and surely the Real Men would nod and consume like utter mugus.

How far is any of them sure the wife was not an unsupportive nightmare to him in the mariage? How are they sure she was not a disrespectful wife? How far are they sure she did not have the accountability for the reetarded kids they raised? How far are they sure she did not raise them to hate him? How far are they sure all the kids are even his?

I don't know the man or his wife so I am not particularly in the position to judge. But I know most women are not as good and as Michael Angeloly painted by the women's real manning bandwagon.

As far as I am concerned, she might have or might have not deserved it.

Reetarded kids.

Products of a failed education system.

Nigerian "graduate" + religious superstitions + inherent low-quality brain = Total fucktardism.

semid4lyfe: The chase is more interesting than the catch. . . .

Not for me.

Chasing? I can't stand it.

honeric01: Another angle can be likened to getting disappointed especially if you were the type that didn't see "your trophy" well enough before getting married to her.. seeing the "real deal" ends up causing disappointment and silent anger like you wasted all your time chasing a "physical shaft".

During courtship = she was always putting on "pretense" and armor

After marriage = You end up sad and angry after seeing the real deal without "pretense" and armor

Well said!

That is why I insist people should know their partners before marriage.

2good: Women enter into marriage with so much fantasies and men discover that they cannot live up to such fantasies all their life after marriage, so they adjust to a level that will make them have some personal gratification.

Well said!

I only live for my own fantasies. Thank God! I no go die of heart attack unlike some Real Men.

Danka7777: Because we didn't know any better of what we were getting ourselves into before marriage. After wedding and over time, we realize this institution(marriage) is inherently bias, provides a great deal of benefits for women at the expense of men. Besides, most men though they will never tell this, are unhappy in their marriages and feel they being held hostage against their will.

LOL! Well said!

Anyone that does not know and does not accept that marriage is bias and more to the benefit of a woman is a proper Real Man.

Tgirl4real: No wonder you sound so familiar. So, it was you

U no well at all . . . no wonder your name sounds like Sagamu

hmm . . . Sagamite = Ara Sagamu

So you did not know wetin Sagamite stand for before?

ronkebp: ....all you had to is exercise off the excess calories....and d juju would have bounced back....

When my Babalawo makes incantations to my fore-fore-fathers, takes a gulp of Ogogoro (if Ogogoro no dey, Schi-napp go do) down his half-rotten-half-toothed mouth, goggles it to mix with the incantations and then spits it all over me to wash all my enemies juju off, the heat burns more calories than any exercise.

ronkebp: Sagamilo...any luck yet with the Man-u and Arsenal thingy..?

Jesus is Lord!

Sings:

"We shall overcom-oome,

We shall overcome each game-aayame"

Tgirl4real: I agree.


But this, is intimidation. Pick someone ur size next time

Unfortunately there is no one my size on this Earth.

https://www.nairaland.com/825112/why-very-smart-intellectual-people/3#9778220

I am a special breed from the realms of the Gods.

I am not suppose to be here, I belong with the Gods. What happened was that I was the God of Intelligence in Heaven, and while I was doing my Ashaworism in heaven chasing the Goddess of Beauty wey I wan knack, na im one of the other male God's got jealous and pushed me. Na im I fall from heaven land for Sagamu.

Tgirl4real: No internet in Sagamu

Mba! We never get o.

ronkebp: Sagamilo....that juju must be really strong for you to go back home to have it removed....thought you have been immersed in different rites, that was done for you by the greatest babalawo in sagamu? Anyways...the girl no do-am well, next time she should come to me, let me show her the way....even the babalawo himself will fall...

armyofone: so Sagamite is now consulting with dibia to fight juju? odikwa risky.
when those hard headed guys finally fall in love, they say it is juju
admit you don't have control over a nice pot of ewedu and stew plus your third leg
very cretinous and moronicious idea i tell ya.

Mba, my sisters!

Na my fault, no be my Babalawo fault.

The genius gave me good juju and strict instructions on how to use it.

He told me it would only work if I continue with my Sagamu ways of Garri & kulikuli for morning, Eba with brokortor in the Afternoon, Garri cake for tea and Garri with beans for dinner every single day of my life.

I come go make mistake for London come they eat cheesecake, fish and chips, cornflakes, Sunday roast, Seafood Paella, Macaroni with Mozzarella cheese, Mousse au chocolat and all the other oyinbo mende mende rubbish wey dey make me feel funky. Those mudafcking food just poison my Sagamu blood and dey neutralise my juju to the point one girl wan use im marriage juju breach my defences. Kai, I had to pick race to Sagamu for deliverance and re-inforcement!

Tgirl4real: na wa o. Una dey fight before

People shouldn't chat shyt, mehn.

When people want to make assertions that they see as general facts, they should use their own brains to critique it before it comes out like vomit.

We are all suppose to have gone through some form of formal education, some people should start letting it show.

Surely I would sound daft as well if I make assertions like "Nigeria is the most developed country in Africa".

People should engage their brains. The fact that they don't makes me question democracy.

I hate democracy because I think my vote should, by default, carry more weight than the majority of cretins that populate this world.

miketayo: lolzzzz.. so wat has flogging done in ur life
in general sense, look at schools where student get flogged and vice versa..which of d child acts more like a literate in our society later on??

Is that the answer to my questions?

Have another go.

cheddarking: I respect your opinion BUT...
Why do most successful black men go for light skinned\white women?

Infact not just the successful....A lot of black men want that pretty face with the pink nips and punny...

Its either most black men are blind OR.....the average white chick finer...

Personally, I would not say the average white chic is finer.

I think this black men knew before they were rich the shyt attitude of the average black woman and the money seeking philosophy, so they don't trust black women that are being nice and approachable when they make it. They were easily able to pull fine white girls before they were rich so they feel those might be more genuine.

I cannot bet my TV remote control I would not be like them if I become a millionaire. Believe me!

kandiikane: @sagamite, so you say all he has been spewing is correct? With all his ignorance?

I swear to God, I have given up hope on black men.

Highlight a few of the ones you disagree with.

stillwater: When there is original, why should I be buying fake goods? Loll.

Not fake. Differentiated and flavoured with juicy garri sauce!

stillwater: I'm not oyibo that would be tripping for your Sagamu accent and call it exotic. Time to go French or Italian.

When I speak French or Italian with Ijebu accent to you, you would be creaming.

kandiikane: Even though you highlight their attitudes, I would have thought you would atleast see the rubbish that is being spewed on this thread.

I am sure if you go through the thread any right minded person will see the hate in many of the posts.

You claim to be a smart person, I just thought as a smart person you would have noticed as you usually do when it's your fellow nigerians.

Where I have seen illogicality in his argument, I have highlighted it and he has been good not to defend the illogicalities, meaning he has accepted correction.

The fact is that, he is saying a lot of truths or at least giving heavily specious arguments, even though it might not be nice to say it or comfortable for some black women to hear.

horny4u: O seere sere ni...omo ko omo!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKQ3LXHKB34

chic2pimp: She apparently did........Went from being an attractive young women to a man in drag.

I suppose being raped at a young age did not help her cause.


It's right there. Just need to post a better picture from a more perfect angle.

Sad.

kandiikane: Putting black women down, nuh?

Maybe you are partially right.

I don't put black women down, I highlight the shyt attitude of majority of them.