₦airaland Forum

chaircover:
Youve been watching too much Hustle -[s] oooohhhhhhh just had to go hmmmmmmm just thinking about Mr Lester[/s] 

More like Nkem.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tv8LSMVVi8

queensmith:
ahhh fagamite, you really are afool. there is no saving you. Just find a cat and a cave and retire for the sake of humanity. One is worried your existence may pollute the world. Only slightly, but worrying nevertheless.

You smell, move.

chaircover:
I thought you said that you are rich  so whats up with all the pre nups and gold digging phobia.  . . . You mean all  that mouth just for a plot of land somewhere in Ogun State that Baba Kekere is currently planting cassava and maize on? 

Maga never pay now.

I am still in the process of selling Surulere National Stadium.

chaircover:
Waoh Ronke!!! see how the vultures have descended

Shebi you guys have plenti plenti money abi!!! Ok whoever comes up with a White Range Rover Evoque & a plot of land on Banana Island gets her

Its worth it o! the girl hot die

I have a vehicle bigger than the Evoque that I use. A red double decker.

And land in Ijebu-Remo by the motorway.

chaircover:
LOL my sister is not like me o! She will whip Saga black and blue till mucos comes out of his ears. From frog jump to stoop down. By the time she is finished with him saga will be crying for his mummy    

[s]Saga dont even think of making a rude comment [/s]  

[flash=400,350]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT4B-NJUcZE&list=FLRUGdBFtrNhxxTkghQ0Qegg&index=247&feature=plpp_video[/flash]

She sounds fcking awesome in bed. Can I meet her? She can frog jump on me all day.

ThiefOfHearts:
No I think cover is trying to punish her sister 

You don't know a good thing even if it hits you in the face. They do.

ronkebp:
In other words, you might not answer, then i will not ask  you.

You think I will promise to publicly answer candidly a question I don't know, that can be anything?

ThiefOfHearts:
ronke and chaircover, any reason why you two are pressed for Sagamite and co to claim marriage?

Na by force?

abi is it a "misery loves company" type of situation cos Im utterly confused.

Because they know a great catch when they see one.

They are trying to help womanhood.

queensmith:
Not true- there are a number of risk factors to smoking, lung cancer is far from the reason Governments make such investments, in fact if lung cancer we're the only risk to smoking the gov.t probably wont bother at all

In educated societies, which is unfamiliar to obese hoodrats, people would at least some of the other "number of risk factors" to back up their point. Not just challenge a point as wrong without giving alternatives points or highlight omitted points.

Bad fats surely don't add to brain power, does it?

ronkebp:
@ Sagalu, if i ask you a question will you answer me candidly?

Yep, but as long as I am free to refuse to answer too.

ileobatojo:
LMAO!!

@ Sagamite, I’m curious to know, do you want to get married?

To be frank, it does not bother me. I definitely don't sit down thinking I have to find a wife or a girl to marry.

If it happens it happens, if it does not, cool. I am going to enjoy my life irrespectively.

Both works if you know what you are doing.

But, for sure, if I decide to marry, it will not be to some classless, ghetto, obese skank.

ronkebp:
The morale of this discussion is that people as a whole should change their ways, especially when it is a bad behaviour, 50% divorce especially in the State is just the beginning, it will continue to climb, because the banana peel that have been used to cover peoples eyes is being removed gently, ''wind don blow,we don dey see fowl yansh''.

The men/ women are getting wiser, nobody wants to settle for nonsense in the marraige, we need to work at it as a couple as a family, if u are a man and not man enough to put a womna in the house and behave yourself, sexually, financially, spritually, physically, morally, socially, economically, even politically, then please remain single by all means. If you are a woman on the other hand who cannot have a courteous disposition towards all and sundry, respectful, loving, humble, financially relevant, moraly upright, good cook, sexually active, spiritually growing (and i don't mean ogbanje rank) then please keep to yourself and do not marry.

Because nobody is ready to manage anyone now, you misbehave, well you will be forgiven maybe up till the umpteenth time, but when it crosses the '' i cannot take this anymore'', the doors would be flung open ';'asta la vista baby''

You are sexist!

You should have also used "not woman enough". 

Pennywise:
Yes they do. But you are not some people!!

I meant to say "such" people. I have reviewed the post.

ronkebp:
How can you tell the good guys from the psychos with good manners'' are they not all in the same flesh, carrying the same balls, (with different sizes though) around?

Stop distracting from the point. Psychos are few and can be with good or bad behaviours, so choosing bad people does not immune someone. You can choose a bad guy and he would be a psycho.

Pennywise:
This is a fraudulent analogy. 50% chance of failure in the general population does not translate to a possibility that u stand a 50% risk of failure. That will be assuming that the gen male population had the same upbringing, think like u do and like the kind of things that you like. Which is not true.

Some people come from homes with true core values that are supportive of marriage and for whom divorce is a taboo and some others just grow up and marry.

And such people don't end up divorced?

Such people don't end up falling for people with a different background and marrying them?

debosky:
But 50% failure IS very daunting - that's the point I'm trying to make. In most endeavours in life, that type of odds would be swiftly avoided so we should not be surprised that marriage is being questioned as a result of it.

What you also need to understand is that marriage does not necessarily mean responsibility as well, as the numerous examples of extra-marital affairs and the like show. What people fight as being 'dogmatic' is when you appear to paint marriage with all the pros and seem to want to underplay the cons.

Thank you.

The mooron does not get it.

His his idiotic "analytical" mind, he sees highlighting the cons of marriage as a disapproval/condemnation of marriage, saying he has a happy marriage when he does not have a clue about or control over what goes on in his marriage.

ronkebp:
I actually hated maths, ok , yep arts all the way.

Those reasons you gave are not reasons at all,  how do you know the guy they ignored in their ''prime'' is a good guy?? what f that same good guy who marries another woman, turned out to be the one that killed his wife, butchered her to pieces, abi the good one that left his 8 months pregnant wife to bleed to death, or the good man who has become a serial cheat, nothing in skirts satisfies him, or the ''good guy who is using his wife as a punching bag and abuses her both physically and verbally?

You need to start thinking outside the box'' of atm milking ladies'' and start looking at the bigger picture

Babes, what I know is that the guys majority of girls pick in their prime are not the ones for them. They only realise it later when they are older (some damaged).

A good guy is different from a a psycho with good manners.

TV01:
Hi Analytical,

long time. Thank you for your kind regards. Married and loving it. The only low point so far has been when the MC at the wedding declared the husband/wife entrance dance off a draw . What a travesty. I single handedly made a case for the wedding entry dance to become an Olympic event. At one point madam sef stopped to watch me dance. Ojoro! Here’s to marital bliss .

Topic has moved on swiftly so I can’t answer on a point by point basis, but please allow me to make some points as follows;

1. The odds of a successful marriage being 50%.
Something of a fallacy when scrutinised closely. Like many things in life, getting married without the requisite maturity, understanding, preparation and most of all commitment increases the chances of the union encountering problems. Without being spiritual about it, I would summarise as follows; the “risk” will be more or less correlated to the “readiness”

2. Societal norms
When I speak of societal norms, I didn’t mean mere protocol or etiquette, i.e.  using a soup spoon for your pudding, or delivering your “mwah, mwah” greeting right cheek left cheek instead of left then right. Not even secular laws. Norms.

Well established and proven to be beneficial societal norms are not things one just “opts” out of. Not when they found in all faiths and all cultures, with at best minor exceptions or variations. Not adhering to them endangers society itself, that is why society brings pressure to bear on non-conformists.

And of all norms, marriage is the one. Marriage between a man and a women is meant for everyone except for a few outlying cases and with good reason at that. Will some breakdown? Inevitably, but they should be rare exceptions. And I don’t mean “suffering-in-silence”, or “ just managing” marriages! I mean happy, mutually fulfilling and rewarding unions.

As for the opt out option, pray tell what should it be replaced with? What is a sensible alternative? All I’ve heard is a messy sounding, unstructured, uncommitted, “sleep with, shack-up and sire indiscriminately” type arrangement. In the first instance I won’t dignify that by exploring it, although I  would be happy to listen to a well worded defense of it? And how this or other alternatives would work.

Additionally, reading through I would question the readiness of many of the protagonists on this thread for the following reasons;

1. A not very clear understanding of what the marriage convent truly means and not actually being able or willing to articulate their understanding of it

2. A blind  willingness to only see and harp on about the problems, pitfalls and potential loss to them

3. It’s crystal clear that in a sense, many don’t even realize that marriage is not first – or at least just – about them. It’s mere than personal fulfillment and actualizing personal desire, although it will encompass those things.

I am also slightly bemused that instead of humbly asking – or just being plain inquisitive – and asking those who have happy/successful marriages, what they feel are the keys and perhaps using these to crystallise their understanding and set themselves high expectations,  it’s so much gainsaying, bitter ranting, unhealthy stereotyping and gender politics. It’s really quite sad.

Sorry if I sound somewhat strident, but we are not discussing the relative merits of wholemeal over granary here.

Apologies for those who don’t like ‘tori, but - except for good reason - y’all will marry and marry well .

Best
TV

Everything you bleated about here is based on idealism, not realism and pragmatism.

Unfortunately, you are not making sense by making sense.

Analytical:
Chaircover, you dey mind Sagamite?  I actually don't enjoy needless debates, especially coming from someone that cannot put his words across without name-calling and insults.  I am yet to see a better alternative to marriage he proposed.  He says it is not worth it but here comes someone in it that says he is enjoying it and he comes with such foul language!  How else will he see anything good in marriage when mutual respect is so far away?

Answer a simple question: How long did you date your wife before you both married?

ronkebp:
Why do you think people are really divorcing? what do you think is their reasons for divorcing I do not vouch for those marraiges but i think they have more reasons to stay in the marraiges than to leave, and i believe those that leave have more reasons to leave than to stay,.

I do not think people are really divorcing. I KNOW people are really divorcing because the stats are there.

I KNOW most marriages are not successful based on the divorce stats and my social clairvoyance.

Most marriages fail! I am not going to bury my head in the sand and live on lululand because someone wants a fairytale.

If I was to give just a tip of some of the reasons marriages fail before it even starts.

Women: Ignoring good guys in their prime and then when they are losing it become ATMs (Anxious To Marry) and then rush into marriages with a guy "that will do". Very few woman can claim to have married the guy they fancied most in their life.

Men: Chasing women like fooools and ending up with women that don't love them but ones that "love the way he loves her". And when he can't show her that attention or sustain it, she loses interest because she never really loved him. If a girl does not like you from the first few interactions, leave her the FCK alone!

ronkebp:
2. you are right with the reasons why some people actually remain in marraiges, but i do not agree with you with the rate, you want to tell me that only 2 lets say out of a 100 marraiges are really enjoying their marraiges

Kai! O she maths now? Abi you be one of those Arts students that ran from maths?

20% is 20 out of 100, L'Oreal!

Analytical:
Debosky,

Is it not obvious I wasn't blaming all societal problems on the decline of marriage but pointing out the ones that are directly products of warped relationships and eroded family values?  The analogy I gave about road accidents is to drive home the point about the 50% statistics being brandished around as the reason for the marriage phobia!  People might as well not travel by road since they might be part of those road accident victim statistics!

You are a foool!

Where in your so-called "analytical" mind did you see sense in comparing something with 50% failure rate with something with less than 0.1% failure rate?

ronkebp:
1. that figure applies to the marraiges in the States, we both know that the divorces rates differ from country to country.
At least that of China is at present 20% and in india, is around 1 out of 1000 marraiges, i can't really find a percentage in Nigeria, but Kano state is said to have the highest rate of divorce in Nigeria.

2. Of course, some marraiges are nothing to write-home about, while others are everything to write home about and i will not say that percentage is high either.

3. Your number three question is not clear, anybody divorced has automatically had a ''failed -marriage'', some people regret it, while others are glad they did, depending on the circumstances that led to the seperation in the first place.

1. Are you saying you vouch for the marriages in China, India or whatever as happy ones or they are more a social responsibility? In societies where all the parties are free, would they still be married?

2. The percentage of stay in marriage for the sake of it is high. I can say confidently that most likely less than 20% of marriages are happy and everlasting. There are several women staying in miserable marriages for financial reasons or low confidence because they know they are unlikely to get knew partners or even a better deal than what they have already. They see some of their friends alone that have divorced and can't find a new partner and stick with their miserable marriages and hope they can change it.

3. It is clear. You have answered my question. So your saying some people regret their divorce is irrelevant when discussing failed marriages. So this argument is really redundant:

ronkebp:
Nope i still do not agree with you that majority of the marraiges have failed, i know people who are enjoying their marraiges, i don't know the type of marraige you are personally looking for, but as long as the couple understands themselves and are in that relationship for the ''right reasons'' it will definitely survive. Most of those with the so-called failed marraiges, wished silently that they never left, will they come out and say how or what they feel, never? but because 5 of your uncles and friends are living a lie, does not mean that all other people are.

Faith only works well with ''works'', sitting down and having faith is useless, having it and working towards a positive result makes it more useful than you may think.

chaircover:
oi saga leave my analytical alone   

I was going to give you my beautiful sister but since you dont want to get married good luck to you. Just pray that you dont end up marrying a cretin who is the result of a failed educational system 

Seriously analytical has some good points and yes I do understand the fear that some bachelors entertain and for some people being married will be one of the worst things that will happen to them and they would have been better off remaining single. It is a jungle out there and one never knows if Miss/Mr Right is indeed right until the ring goes on the finger. So yes I understand your fears.

. . . . but on the other hand some people are having a better life as part of a marriage partnership than if they were single. Yes they are a minority but its achievable 

If your sister found out you denied her the opportunity to link with Sagamite, THE SAGAMITE, I am sorry for you the kind of sibling war that will emerge.

On the other hand, there is really nothing analytical about Analytical's posts. The guy is just a dogmatic buffoon with entrenched views that has no ratiocination but purely based on idiotic platitudes and conjectures he has heard.

One can get hints of such dogmatic leanings when someone's personal email address is: analytical4christ@blahblahblah.com . It does not take much to realise the person is likely to be some dogmatic foool. Worse still, if he is married for 11 years, he is likely to be in his 30s or even 40s.

It is an insult and offensive to some of us with brains for him to select that username.

debosky:
That is not a reasonable comparison - 1.3 million people dying in road accidents does not equate to half the travellers by road dying. I can assure you that if half of all road users died each year that virtually no one would be driving because the risk of failure is unacceptably high.


I'll break my response into two posts for better clarity.

Kai!

Why are you eating my suya?

I was going to come back to this dumb point, I was just smoking him out first so he comes back in confidence to give is "analytical" view, instead of running. What an inapt username.

GenBuhari:
Sagamite,

Are you a cretin?

You seem to know so much about how a cretin's mind works

I am a psychiatrist. I know a cretinous mental patient that creates points from his arse.

GenBuhari:
Or look at it another way.

If Abacha was corrupt would he have chosen Buhari to run his Petroleum Trust Fund?

To a cretin, proof of lack of corruption is when you appoint someone to head up a committee to spend money.

A bloody mental patient!

y me:
A well known cook like me  that's how i get to their hearts with the well prepared delicious meal 

Me nag ke? Lai Lai. if that happens, this is exactly how i will convey my message across
"Darling! the way you replied that babe at the party was really welcoming, seems like you were yearning for the food so much, if i didn't know you better i would have thought you wanted her. Just be careful tho cause what is good for the goose is definitely good for the gander. I love you" before he replies I take my top off and let the conversation die there but heaven knows i passed my message across in a clear way. 

Ama hit that!

y me:
Good home, support, companionship, happiness, peace, lifechanging s*x , etc

Yeye girl.

You fit cook?

You no go nag finish? Like say "Why you reply that girl that asked you what you wanted to eat at the party. You are cheating, you can't keep your eyes to yourself. We have to discuss this your infidelity for the next 4 hours, I don't care if it is 11pm on a Sunday night"?

ucheike:
Because AIDS doesn't discriminate

What a fcking cretin!

naijababe:
Sagamu, u be esin inu iwe O gbele gbele o, ase na only mouth dem get. Muki, well done for the heads up jare

I no the limits of my power.

queensmith:
Dont cry faga. Your not the only miserable lonely man. There will be plenty other men to keep you company.
Theres always soho for your type.

Go and take a shower, you smell.

Did you not spray deodorant today?

jay bee:
Be afraid of piranhas saga

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/real_life/4115285/Proud-gold-digger-defends-her-plans-to-be-a-Piranha.html

For someone like me, all these kind of girls are easy as I get more sense pass them.

She has no chance and she will not achieve her goal.

Ifwonder:
What l really want from a man is love,commitmentand honesty.

And what do you have to offer?

Analytical:
Sagamite, I will oblige you one more response.

I know my posts hit a very sore spot in so many people like you; people that think it is medieval and so uncivilized to believe in marriage and its virtues.  I will show you where such ‘civilization’ has ended us.  It has bred a generation that applauded  9 year olds that are impregnating underage girls.  It has given birth to 12 year olds that go on killing sprees.  It has bred a world where gals barely teens now get pregnant while the world cheers.  Now we have mothers and their teen daughters sharing boyfriends and they come before talk show hosts to argue who should have rights to the boyfriend!

If you believe marriage is not worth it, you are entitled to your own opinion.  You will actually be saving the unfortunate girl a life of misery by steering clear, with this your mindset.  You talk of 50% statistics as if you have to become part of the failure figures.  Some have asked you already about the other 50% that are successful.  You talked of reality.  The reality is that there are still 50% that are successful and mine happen to be one of them.  I am thoroughly enjoying and satisfied with my marriage.  If you see that as illogical and dogmatic, I wish you all the best.  And to burst your bubble, I did not have a relationship that failed in the past, neither did I date others before marrying.  I sought and discovered my other half and we have been happy since!

By that did I mean it was all easy to achieve?  No, by all means.  Whoever buys a brand new car 100% perfect without maintaining it constantly to keep it in good shape?  A marriage not worked on by the spouses is like a car not regularly serviced and maintained.  There are many things involved which people like you don’t want to ever be found doing.  Issues like love, tolerance, compromise, understanding, commitment, sacrifice, forgiveness etc are ingredients that make a marriage work.   No one is perfect.  That is where these virtues come into play.

Talking about statistics, do you know about 1.3 million people die in road accidents yearly?  And do you know 50 million more suffer injury and disability yearly as a result of road accidents?  That is grim if you ask me.  Now, with such statistics, is it really worth it to drive cars or travel by road?  Instead of making your mind and working to make sure you are not part of the failure, here you are playing the devil’s advocate.

Say whatever you may, the truth is that marriage is desirable.  I look at people that are leaders and majority of them are married.  Obama did not throw marriage out and produce kids all over the place.  Who would have voted for such an irresponsible (since you so much hate that word!!) playboy to lead?  The whole world watched as British prince wedded Kate and everyone wished them well.  You want to raise a family but you don’t want to give it legitimacy!  Only lower animals raise kids arbitrarily.  The largest elephant only possess the intellect of a 2 year old kid and you would have us believe human beings should live in animal farms where there are no rules and boundaries?

I wish you well.

Bloody Liar. You never dated?

For how many months did you date you wife of 11 years before you guys married?