₦airaland Forum

Boy101:
At least I was a good mannered cretin who never called another a person.

Congratulations.

Use the rewards you get from that to buy garri.

ccollins:
my old adversary, how are you doing? been as long time.. its was such a mixed up. drama between us on nairaland. we argued alot on homosexuality but all that. is gone now... have a different perception now and would never support them due to my faith now

What is your new perspective and what is your new faith?

sisiafrika:
People likE him are very reserved in real life

If you fancy me, just say so.

tope24:
My 2 cents sir, take the multinational coy job then work at getting your Msc and PhD. This will equip you to become a better lecturer cos of the experience you will gets. Believe me if only some of our lecturers have relevant work experience in the department they function.

He would be working for a multinational company and at the same time be working to get a PhD, while also raising a family?

Did this make sense to you when you typed it?

Abyam:
I'm married with 2 kids. I lost my job 3 years ago when my company was restructuring.
So I know how tough it is to be jobless especially with a family that is looking up to you for provision.

On the 15th Nov. God blessed my hustle and i got an offer from one of the high institution in my state as an assistant lecturer. I was very happy when i collected the offer, it rekindled my hope for the future because i have longed to become a lecturer since i was in school as it will give me opportunity to upgrade my certificates and to even study to Phd level with abundant of scholarships at their disposal.

But events took another turn this week when i was called by a coy i attended it's interview 2 years a go, they sent me an sms inviting me to come and meet their boss for final stage of the interview, to cut the story short....... i was offered another job with a mouth watery pay 3x the govt job, i'm to resume work on the 11th of January 2016.

My delimma now is to choose between a job with average pay(lecturing) while career growth is gradual or go for the money with opportunity to travel to other countries and a world class exposure.

Please Senior Men in the house advice me, i need the money but i'm worried because where i was working 3 yrs ago i was well paid, things were moving smoothly but when the time came to downsize, it can take anybody, matured advice gentlemen!

You are considering working for fuuktards?

You are the same person that has lost your job before and suffered, and you are considering working for a company run by fuuktards?

A company took 2 years to invite you for final interview and offer you a job and you still want to work for them while you have an option?

Abegi!

Send them a rejection letter and ensure you tell them they are all fuuktards!

The only reason you should not take the lecturing job is if you think you would not be able to perform in it and rise up the rank.

At least the state jobs offer job security (although no salary security). Except a better and more professionally run company comes along, it is your best bet.

Don't go and work for a Baba Sala-run company.

Boy101:
Okay Bro. You made your point with repitive use of 'person' (wondering if that's even a word) now I begin to even wonder more if this system you so much hate hasn't gotten the better of you.

The system could not keep me down. It could not turn me into cretins like you.

permsec:
This clearly shows you have attitudinal issues that needs urgent attention.


A clearly constructive criticism is 100 percent better than that filled with fuktard, moronic et al.

Be matured dude.The guy hasn't in anyway attacked you.

You are a cretinous fuuktard!

If you understand the psychology of the fuuktards you have as fellow citizens, you would realise what you just said is purely daft.

Stop trying to be funky at Sagamite's expense. You are not a tenth as intelligent.

Truthpallbearer:
Are you Sagamite's double?

Na my triple o.

Firefire:
Oponu, sorry.

You are a cretinous fuuktard!

Can you see how daft you are?

Boy101:
If you're any smarter, you wouldn't be here feeling so pained about another person's opinion.

You are a cretinous fuuktard!

Do you think it is even an argument regarding if I am smarter than your dumbarse?

You think that is a question, cretin?

Yes, I am pained!

I am pained that my country's education system can dilapidate to the point that fuuktards like you are being churned out.

I am pained that you are one of the youths we have as the future of Nigeria.

I am pained that you have a right to vote and your vote has equal weight and relevance as mine.

It is because of fuuktards like you in Kogi having the right to vote that Audu can be elected again.

Why e no go pain me?

ewa20buredi100:
Bro Sagamite, thanks a lot. I just stumbled on this thread, and it has been interesting reading along.

But i want to ask just 2 questions;
1) Oxford and Cambridge; are they both good for studying Engineering courses, because most of the times i do hear of Imperial and UCL for engineering courses?

Oxford and Cambridge are normally good, if not even the best, for anything they offer, and they do offer engineering.

For Engineering, Cambridge might have an edge over Oxford as it is the more quantitative-inclined university (Technology, Engineering etc) of the 2. Oxford is more qualititative-inclined university (Arts, Humanities etc).

Imperial is trying to compete in their bracket and is doing quite well at competing with them but it just cannot match their reputation anytime soon. If one was to choose between Oxbridge or Imperial, it makes no sense picking Imperial. Also Imperial has a larger breadth of engineering courses and department size than both Oxford and Cambridge.

UCL is a notch below Imperial for Engineering. UCL is jack of all trades universities, expert in many, but not leader in most.

ewa20buredi100:
What are the chances of a 2.2 graduate with a PgD (from a Nigerian University) of gaining a PG admission to study Engineering (chemical eng) in OX/Cambridge)?

I dare say zero to none.

Too competitive. The best in the world (not just in the UK) are applying to take these places.

ewa20buredi100:
2) Are engineering courses in UK universities as good and of quality as the ones in USA?

Thanks

For Engineering, apart from Oxbridge and maybe Imperial, No.

The US would have up to 20 Universities that can compete at their level for PG. Even Georgia Tech is generally seen as on par with Imperial for engineering at PG level. At undergrad, it cannot compete with Imperial.

babygirlfl:
What do you think about men and wigs? You

Something is wrong with him.

HAH:
When I started working in a bank in 2001 my monthly salary was 90000 then my friends working in civil service were paid 15000, NNPC friends were paid 25000.

Am really surprised entry point salary is still as it was though I heard that they have now some crook levels, in our days we started as Assistant officers(entry point)

When I left banking in 2013 my monthly take home was 660,000, now am an employer of labour and am yet to be 40, have four houses two in Abuja two in my state.

God bless Cecilia Ibru

You did not diversify your asset location?

One civil war in Nigeria and you are dead broke refugee.

Ibiovikk:
Nigeria workers deserve much more.
In America;
A CNA worker(caregiver, babysitter, minder, househelp etc) gets an average $29,000(5.51m naira/yr).

There is nothing to celebrate about, a banker in nigeria is poor.

otiigba1:
What!? Pocket money! Over here banks cashier get £1200(420,000 naira) to start with and then upwards, depending on position and experience

Pure idiotic contributions!

What is the tax on those earnings?

How much is their rent?

How much is the cost of transportation?

How much is food and drinks?

How much do they pay as council tax, car tax, TV licence etc?

How much does repairs of things or other artisan labour cost to them?

You really thought you were making sense by highlighting people in Western countries are higher earners generally because they live in richer countries?

Firefire:
I see am o ja re my brother from the coven of liars.


APC Manifesto - To create 5 Million Jobs by 2019 i.e. 5,000,000

Meaning 1,250,000 per year and we are now end of November 2015 of the first year - Nothing in sight.

You are a moronic, cretinous fuuktard!

So June to December is one year in your daft life?

Fuuktard, even if one was to follow your idiocy, economic theory tells you job creation in a transformation would be equally proportioned through annual phases?

Cretinous product of a failed education system.

Boy101:
Girls of nowadays, no home training kobo! (Lol)
A man just died, no one lashes at the dead.

Moronic product of a failed education system and their fuuktard axioms.

Fuuktard, may you, till you die, continue with your sufferhead hustle in Nigeria.

Dumb fuuktard!

They are so quick to rise up and defend those destroying their lives.

Brain dead! Starved of vital nutrients.

May he rest in peace.

A 61 year old woman dancing with her son.

I can't believe her age.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t9x63Qluxo

Tamee:
Eh I won't send him all my tuition for mere yansh na.


The bolded is the key word. You won't go to Jail don't worry. Just wiggle your load for me and if it ain't hefty enough, I will call Jaybee3 et Airmark to help get back my tuition from you. Deal?

How old are you?

The courts will not hear "She told me not to worry about her age".

Tamee:
Well, I want to see more than yansh

Naaaughty girl!

Tamee:
Oh dearie Sagamite has caught you in his net too?
Well, I'm sending him my tuition too as long as he strips and do an exotic pole dance for me in my bedroom.

You know you are not married.

Be careful what you wish for. I was a professional stripper in Italy to survive as an illegal immigrant after my journey from Libya into Europe.

You will be palpitating by the time I finish whining for you ................if you have come off age.

I am not going to jail o.

jaybee3:
Professional exams not tuiton fees for degrees Sir

Accountants for mere contractors don't have access to their clients bank accounts nor credit cards

Contractors that aren't under an umbrella company have to send receipts Sir

Your accountant at the end of your financial year would even ask you to send your business' bank statements to reconcile your expenses and revenues.

That is when the questions come in from them.

As for receipts, they just tell you to keep your receipts for at least 6 years in case the HMRC come to audit you one day.

cococandy:
You're not serious.
This isn't enough for me to send you money Na.

I like you too much.

I don't want you to ask for a divorce tomorrow and move to London.

cococandy:
Show me first.
Has anyone ever died from fainting?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQmW0HA_kdA

Nihilist:
Sagamite,

You can claim tuition fees as tax deductible expenses.

The caveat is that you have to be able to prove that the tuition is for a course that enhances your ability to carry out your current contract.

Moat contractors will never or very rarely have to defend thier expenses claim to HMRC, so a contractor can just claim his girlfriend's tuition down as a training expense and forget about it.

It's only if and when he has to defend it that wahala dey. And I've never ever heard of a contractor who's actually had to submit his receipts to the taxman for auditing...

Yep, I know.

I said, not your girlfriend's tuition fees.

I doubt most accountants would encourage you to make such wild claims of degree tuition fees, car and rent in America while working full-time in London. The accountant would question you as a way of serious caution without blatantly saying "don't do it".

And if you make more than a certain amount per year as revenue/contractor pay, I think £125K, not sure, then these accountants also have to audit your accounts. They would not cover up such for you as it would mean they can lose their career.

So except he is not making a lot of money and his accountant is crooked, it would be almost impossible to claim such as expenses.

Tamee:
Trust me, my tuition fee is hefty, can pay your rent and take you to the olympics.

So, all you have to do is twerk and do an exotic pole dance for me.

Tamee, you are naughty!

Something tells me you are freaky.

*Saga says in a seductive and low voice* "Naughty girl".


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZuJ_OHBN78

jaybee3:
Exactly my point

Babe3 couldn't have understood all that since that's what was sold to her

Yep.

I, a whole Sagamite from Sagamu, didn't understand it until I needed to understand it.

It is quite complex.

Dyt:
You know how much I want it too na
Come to me baby
I like them.old and bald
You slim too
Tall
Yummy

There's always something common to bald men
*licks lips*

No o.

I am old (58 years old), bald, short (4ft10.89inches), fat (22 stones) with Shabba Ranks face and 2 missing teeth. ...................But still sexy as fck!

jaybee3:
Sagamite, abeg help me explain the allowable expenses ish for contractors jare cos that's the koko

Hotels
Rents
Professional Exams

All the above are allowable expense if indeed he is a real IT contractor

However, it's impossible for him to claim such since he can't possibly be working in the UK and having all that expense incurred overseas at the same time

Tuition fees isn't an allowable expense

It's fairly easy for a novice to believe they were genuinely helping when they could have been used to perpetrate criminal activities

Allowable expenses are quite complex.

The basics are:

- The expense needs to be directly related to your business activities. If it is not totally directly related to your business activities, you need to calculate a proportion. E.g. using your personal phone as a work phone, you need to calculate what proportion of the line rental and cost of calls are for personal, and which is for work. The work one is tax deductible.

- Some expenses allowed are related to you working off-site. Off-site means working away on a site (lets say, your client's office) from the registered Office of your business for most of the working day (I think more than 4 hours), as long as the period of working at this site does not exceed a 24 month period. If it does exceed 24 months, you have to treat the client's office (site) as your registered office and can no longer claim the away expenses. E.g. You can claim your lunch as expenses if you work at a client site for up to 24 months and it would be tax deductible. If you stay with that client for more than 24 months, the cost of your lunch can no longer be business expenses.

Paying your girlfriend's tuition fees definitely does not qualify for allowable expenses and is not tax deductible.

Tamee:
I like. How do you want it, WU, Arif or 5 credit cards?

As long as the card would work sha.

Dyt:
I no kuku get money
But that's how much I know r231


Hi Bobo
Awon omoge yen nko
Shon toju won Dada
The kondo too

Won le toju mi to e. (They can't take care of me as much as you can.)

Mo gborun dollars lara e. (You smell of dollars to me.)

Mo ma serenade e paa ni 2016. (I will serenade you to death in 2016)

Kimoni:
evade council tax ke?

Dem no dey mess with dem moni o.

I pay straight up!