₦airaland Forum

Dannyabu:
My Wife Lied About Her Age

Four years ago at 35, I married my wife, who I thought was 35. We both wanted children, but unfortunately, she had miscarriage in the second year and stillbirth in the third year. We began consulting a fertility specialist.

After she started asking questions, my wife admitted she is actually eight years older than she had led me to believe. She's 47 years old! She's cried and cried, begging for my forgiveness.

She's gone to try fertility treatments to get pregnant, but I don't want her to continue that for health reasons. I have forgiven her but as an African man; I'm NOT willing to consider the adoption option. She says, of course, that she feared I would walk away if I knew the truth, but she must have known it would come out sometime, somehow. I think I still love her, she is really a wife material, respectful, lovable and very industrious lady but I feel so betrayed! Letting a husband believe you're years younger than you are with all the implications for child-bearing, is a grotesque deception. Sometimes, I'm always wondering if some things she says are the truth. Moreover, after all the wahala and years in-between, her beauty has really waned. She now looks old! We have become butts of joke from neighbours and even strangers when they see us walking together. I look way younger than she is.

I think of getting another wife, but that has not been my person. I think of divorce, but where do I start? Have I wasted 4 years of my life just like that? We still have faith that miracles do happen. Our pastor has asked me to forgive her and move on, that my ability to forgive her will make her more loyal and obedient to me. She is a naturally good person, but for this act of deception.

Maybe if my wife had been honest with me from the beginning, knowing her age I would have adjusted my planning and expectations for children. But she lied. Should I prove her right in her assumption that when I found out the truth, I would walk away? Any thoughts on helping us get through this? I have given all my resources to make this marriage work.

I need matured and sincere advice please!

First of all, the part I highlighted is a profoundly steeeewpid statement to make.

Pure moronic.

Secondly, considering she lied on such a critical matter to get what she wanted, as far as I am concerned, the only solution to get what you want is to find a side dish outside that can procreate for you.

If you like your wife that much, she can still remain your wife while you have a girlfriend outside willing to conceive.

gab4u:
Please oo, must a man kneel down to propose to his wife to be?

Does it mean if he propose while sitting or standing, the chances of the girl accepting is slim?

Please i need your response on this issue... Atleast let's know why we must kneel down to propose

Who told you you "must"?

You don't have a mind of your own to figure out what you like and are comfortable with and then do that?

2sex:
See attached

Jesus!

I better inform as many people as possible by sharing.

lalasticlala:

CARETAKER CHAIRMAN, RABAH LOCAL GOVERNMENT AREA, ALHAJI ZAYYANU GANDI, DURING INSPECTION SOME CANOES PURCHASED FOR DISTRIBUTION TO SOME FLOOD-PRONE VILLAGES IN RABAH, SOKOTO STATE ON WEDNESDAY.


http://thenationonlineng.net/photo-canoes-for-flood-prone-areas-in-sokoto/

I am sure these costs $3,000 each.

Useless Nigerian government and journalist who never state (or ask) how much things cost when reporting their "great" achievements.

Especially in GEJ's administration.

Crooks!

And so?

What kind of useless cretins do we have as "journalists" in this Nigeria?

So this cretin called Michael Eboh of Vanguard could not even do the most basic of journalism?

So what if Nigeria made 8999996trn from Oil?

What does that tell me? How is it significant?

What is he trying to tell us?

This moronic quack could not tell us if our revenue from oil is increasing or decreasing compared to some equal period in the past? In what magnitude?

What is the impact in the increase considering the changes in our currency?

THE FCKING BASICS!

Those are the real news, not just tell me "we made x this year".

This cretin is too incompetent to even do that basic research.

And he would expect to be paid at the end of the month as a "journalist"?

Product of a failed education system.

http://www.punchng.com/feature/chinese-have-taken-over-our-businesses-nigerian-furniture-makers-lament/

This exemplifies what I was saying here.

Sagamite:
And the few that do go into business are poor at it.

Instead of being the best they can be, they do poor work, they are looking at how to cheat their customers, are rude to them or are not innovative.

Virtually all black businesses are like that

Some are even "Stunning" and "Stuns".

When others from outside enter market, they do better and eliminate them.

They are now whining after the Chinese have entered the market and do fantastic work with good customer services.

Dele Momodu - Professional AGIP sycophant.

Any Government In Power!

Another example of the institutional connections I was talking about.

Here is a woman that is allegedly being lined up for the position as CEO of M&S.

Ms Wade-Gery was poached by M&S from Tesco with more than £2.1million in cash and shares in 2011 and is seen by many as the heir apparent to current boss Marc Bolland.

The executive director who overhauled the M&S much-maligned website, will leave to have her baby on September 1 and will return to work in January.

M&S chose to tell the stock exchange today because financial rules demand investors must be told if directors are going away for longer than a typical three-week holiday.

Ms Wade-Gery, who splits her time between a house in north London and a farm in Suffolk, is twice-married and will welcome the child into her family with husband Simon Roberts.

The 50-year-old has a tough reputation in the City and is the daughter of diplomat Sir Robert Wade-Gery, a senior Cabinet Office aide to prime ministers James Callaghan and later Margaret Thatcher.

He also worked in Foreign Office positions all over the world, meaning his daughter grew up in Moscow, Delhi, Spain and even Vietnam, where she was evacuated during the war with America.

The Oxford history graduate and ice hockey Blue went with close friend William Dalrymple on part of Marco Polo's trip from Palestine to China, recorded in Dalrymple's first book, In Xanadu.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3202309/Woman-tipped-boss-Marks-Spencer-announces-s-taking-maternity-leave-age-50-desk-just-four-months.html#ixzz3jBZbfzw6

Robert Lucian Wade-Gery was educated at Winchester College and New College, Oxford, where he achieved a double first class degree.

Robert Wade-Gery was the son of Theodore Wade-Gery who was professor of Ancient History in the University of Oxford.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Wade-Gery

Theodore Wade-Gery was born into a long-established Bedfordshire family, he was educated at Winchester College, a contemporary of Arnold J. Toynbee and R.M.Y. Gleadowe, and at New College, Oxford, which he left with a First in Classical Moderations in 1911.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodore_Wade-Gery

Exactly as I stated:

Winchester is one of the schools I named.

https://www.nairaland.com/1579818/girls-night-out-discussions/29#37006573

https://www.nairaland.com/1579818/girls-night-out-discussions/29#37013659

She didn't even bother changing her surname despite being married twice. It must be helping.


By the way Laura Wade-Gery attended Cheltenham Ladies' College for high school.

That is a mere £33K per year in school fees if you were to send your daughter there today.

Last year out of the 125 girls from the school heading to university. 88 were going to a Russell Group University with 10 heading for Oxford and 9 to Cambridge.

9 to Bristol and UCL, 8 to KCL, 6 to LSE, 4 to Durham and 3 to Imperial.

Not bad odds, init? Almost half of them are going to the Top 10 UK universities.

https://www.nairaland.com/141689/rough-guide-best-most-reputable

Kimoni:
I would have proactively addressed all the points tearoses, Damiso and Saga raised but I feared the post would be too long.

Now coming to that drive which we all agree it's negatively skewed.

The only reason why the Naija drive is skewed negatively is leadership. And of course you know thats a whole big subject of its own. Since the Babangida regime, we have been blessed with the wrong set of leaders. When the top is bad, it automatically trickles down to roots. It can't be helped. Nigerians were not like this during the days of Awo, Balewa, Zik and co. Those guys genuinely wanted to make a difference and same applied to her citizens then. But from the Babangida regime who legalized corruption, the nation as a whole has continued to plunge downwards. And the top cannot be bad while the body remains okay. Not possible.

Gone are the days when we question ill-gotten wealth, instead we now celebrate robbers, mediocres, corrupt politicians; there is not one rich man in Naija today who has not looted directly or indirectly from the treasury. And the bug has caught every sector. Saga, this is why those sectors you talked about are like that. The potentials within are enormous but mining them correctly is the problem. In a country where we celebrate thieves, what happens to the natural drive of the common man? He will also subconsciously tailor his drive towards getting his reward quicker and through the back door. The common man tunes on its radio every morning to listen to naija news. What does he hear? N20 billion missing in NNPC, $50m dollars subsidy fund missing, $90b dollars found in Abacha's Swiss account. Then the next day, he reads that the NNPC boss is now a governor, the guy in charge of subsidy funds is now a minister, Abacha's son is contesting for his state governorship election, Alamesigha is now a senator . Jefferson in the U.S. is still facing corruption charges, his accomplice in Nigeria was a presidential aspirant some month ago People, where do you think the drive of citizens in this type of state will be geared towards? When people have been told that stealing is not corruption, what do we expect?

However, I know Nigerians to be very dynamic. We are perfect in flexibility and adaptability. There was a time Lagosians used to throw their trash in street gutters, there was a time we didn't know meaning of seat belts, there was a time we thought pedestrian bridges were meant for environmental beautification, there was a time Oshodi Isale was a no-go area; who would one day believe that Lagos will be called "beautiful". What am I saying - it has to start from the top. When the top gets it right, the citizens will also fall in line. What you see in us anyday is only a reflection of what our leaders are.

If there were no cameras in the developed world, would we still have the level of compliance that we have with traffic lights? If people felt they could steal and still end up being celebrated, won't they steal? Even as developed as they are?

Personally, I still believe in "project Nigeria". We have the potential energy, we only need that little push to ignite and make it go kinetic. Hopefully, Buhari does that for us. I will rather have a people with misplaced drive than have one with no drive at all. Controversial statement, innit?

Effing well said.

That is why I said above that our cultural web is ffed up.

See my signature.

That is why I would forever be attacking IBB, Abacha and the Cretin of Otuoke.

2sex:
you should get rid of that email asap.

Hackers do crawl nairaland and use popular handles to send emails.

They use sagamite for instance to send me emails and cc other nairalanders. Nuff said.

WTF!!!

ifyalways:
Sagalulu,aunty speeerm nyash is seriously vexing for dis ya thread. The thing banned me earlier.

Lol.

It banned me too when I posted the link. I quickly contacted the moderator to unban.

ifyalways:
Generally or isolated cases? I will have to check on that.
Btw, I edited my list.

To be frank, I think some on your list are too narrow.

You no fit just put estates. I want areas in general.

Not best estates in Lagos.

Kimoni:
But asides this, I think Nigerians just love being the best in whatever field they find themselves. Once we put our mind to anything, the world will know a certain group of people has joined the show. Take our musicians and maybe nollywood - those guys have conquered Africa and quietly entering the world stage in just a short time. On the other side, immediately Nigerians entered the 419 and corruption market, we overtook all the slow coaches on the way

I am going to challenge you on this.

Can you tell me five professional industry where Nigerians do things to world class standards?

Is it our banks? Where so-called super-bankers put pressure on young girls to be ashawos for deposit?

Is it Nollywood? Where the script and storyline are so unimaginative?

Is it our restaurants in London? Where if you enter the toilets, you will think these people are dirty and service takes longer than cobwebs?

Is it our real estate industry? Where agents can advertise poor quality buildings at over-inflated prices with pictures of pants in the living room?

Is it our airlines? Where our local airlines are frequently crashing and none last up to 20 years?

Is it our Press? Where journalists manufacture stories at will and hardly ever verify anything before reporting it, and also have poor grammar?

Is it our football? Where officials loot everything over and over again and demotivate a strong team?

Is it our music? Where, yes, we produce nice dancing beats but the lyrics are a bit stale and repetitive?

What are we good at?

Yes, we are competitive and huff and puff but our mentality is too fcked to be the best in anything.

Kimoni:
And so the average Nigerian is never going to be like the modern average British. Our motivations are mountains apart. They don't need to save for anything, the govt takes care of all that when the time comes. While they live for the present with no worries for the future, Nigerians live for the past, present and the future But as much as I think it's okay to be contented in life, one also needs some measure of drive in life. The average British man is too docile for my liking. On the long run, no nation can succeed with citizens like that. Still on that link that Saga posted, I saw where a guy said young indigenous British Phd holders are going into extinction. This same "Great Britain" of yesteryearsthar produced the Alan Turings and Isaac Newtons of this world And yes, I can testify to this scarcity to in my present academic environment.

Unfortunately, the so-called liberals are slowly ruining this great country.

Where is the Margaret Thatcher of today for God sake?

I am so sick of their politicians and media.

EnlightenedSoul:
Walahi, you're hilarious.

Aminat508:
Quite beautiful...


https://mobile.twitter.com/Onibonoje11/status/633233805214679040

You need to hustle a bit, make some money, get a passport, get a visa, travel and see the world.

Jahblessme:
Nice discussion.
What would be the suggestion for black children who will most likely be the only black child in school,only black.child/children in the neighbourhood?

There are very very few black people around here,in my area we are the only ones and to be honest I'm quite worried about the kids.

How do I instill excellence and self confidence in them?A sense of identity too?

I am actively now considering shelling for school fees in the belief that it may bring some sort of advantage to my kids? Straight from primary down to Secondary.

Theres no grammar schools here as they believe segregating children according to ability is not right

I am afraid of the inevitable why is my hair this way why is my skin this way question.What are the answers to give?

Then what books to read to keep their sense of Africa alive? Should I actively seek out black people?

We have even considered moving to England just for the kids not to feel alone.The blacks we know here are just like 4 or 5 and live far away in other counties.


How to raise kids to excel in a place where they are the only African children essentially is the question.

The ex-girlfriend I was speaking about here:

https://www.nairaland.com/364347/bankers-really-deserve-multi-million-pound/4#5096971

She has never lived in Nigeria.

Has only been to Nigeria about 3 times in her life.

She grew up in Italy and speaks Italian fluently.

Guess what?

She speaks Yoruba better than me with authentic accent.

She is Nigerian to the core and she is not razz. She attended an elite UK uni and is a high flyer now.

She was brought up as a NIGERIAN in Italy but yet still mixed well with Italians.

Till this day, she still goes to the village in Italy she grew up to see her Italian adopted "grandmother" on holiday (an elderly lady that used to nanny her while her parents worked).

It is possible as long as we don't have colomentality.

SirShymexx:
[s][/s]

You're a vacuous bum!

Sod off!

Moronic fuuuktard!

Never bring "facts" from your arsse where ever I am again.

tearoses:
Which brings me to another question
Is there something in our genes that makes us love money that much and the need to aim higher and higher just to be able to flex
My oyibo postman is happy as larry. Whistling away and always stopping for a chat.
Same with some checkout staff at ASDA
They seem very content . . . and happy too
while the average Naija is burning the midnight oil aquiring degrees at age 50 still trying to get his/her foot in the door.
Why?
. . and then many make the money and are rich in the bank but are poor in other areas.
Apart from flying business class, driving a RR and a 60 inch TV in their bedroom what exactly do they do with the money?
When was the last time they went on a picnic, took a canal walk, baked at a macmillan cake morning or took their kids to the museum?

Probably not.

It is all about culture.

Our cultural web is fcked up!

https://www.nairaland.com/746243/pay-bribe-child-pass-exams/1#9032656

https://www.nairaland.com/1410261/tear-burn-nigerian-passport-once/12#17703773

Jahblessme:
Nice discussion.
What would be the suggestion for black children who will most likely be the only black child in school,only black.child/children in the neighbourhood?

There are very very few black people around here,in my area we are the only ones and to be honest I'm quite worried about the kids.

How do I instill excellence and self confidence in them?A sense of identity too?

I am actively now considering shelling for school fees in the belief that it may bring some sort of advantage to my kids? Straight from primary down to Secondary.

Theres no grammar schools here as they believe segregating children according to ability is not right

I am afraid of the inevitable why is my hair this way why is my skin this way question.What are the answers to give?

Then what books to read to keep their sense of Africa alive? Should I actively seek out black people?

We have even considered moving to England just for the kids not to feel alone.The blacks we know here are just like 4 or 5 and live far away in other counties.


How to raise kids to excel in a place where they are the only African children essentially is the question.

It is too complex to answer this question.

It depends on so many factors, including the personality of the child, what they are good at, how successful their mentors are (most likely the parents etc).

When I was growing up, my father used to tell me I was the best and how smart I was. He encouraged me to be competitive. If person slap me, make I slap am 5 times. And we all see how confident I turned out.

That might not work on other kids because of different personalities and not finding something they can be proud of being good at.

One important thing I can advise you on, is that, try and let them understand and be comfortable AND proud of their identity, while also being comfortable to mix with other cultures.

None of that oyinbo rubbish wannabe shyt upbringing that would lead to them coming to you in teenage years with piercings up their nose and all over their face saying they want to be a Rock Star guitarist.

That is what normally happens with follow-follow, low self-confident, want-to-change my identity black kids.

Give them African names, let them eat African food, mix with African people during holidays, speak their native language and every other thing about their identity.

That does not mean they can't mix with whites and also eat macaroni and listen to rock music.

But don't let them be wannabe colomentalists.

I listen to Fela, I listen to Aerosmith.

If you can and are comfortable with sending them to Africa for secondary education. That will do wonders.

As for books, dig out the old Pacesetter novels online. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTASTIC books!

tearoses:
Just to add another dimension to the discussion . . why do we work?
Money? fulfiment? recogniton?
What is considered the glass ceiling? Is it measured by wage, job title, number of subordinates? What are peoples individual goals? . . . . .

Sagamite I think touched on lower level jobs being easier to get into for black people. If you are lucky and able to negotiate, that lower entry job may actually be better for you than senior management depending on your goals.

Moving to self employment. I know a lady who decorates events. She charges approx £5k per event and she can do 2 on a Saturday. I have a friend who charged N1500 yesterday for 200 cocktails, fruit tree and a chocolate fountain hire. She had 2 events this weekend. I dont know how much she charged for the other.

To suceed, depends on finding a gap, being sensible, Knowing your strengths, working hard but most importantly the Grace of God.

Not all people want top level jobs, and that is okay.

I respect that.

I have seen a guy in his 30s that does children events' entertainment. Singing and dancing o. He looks like any other guy with confidence, not some awkward geek. He was so good at what he did, did it with passion and he seemed to enjoy it.

I had nothing but respect for him. I never looked down at him.

Life is about being happy, not showing off what conventional thing you achieved.

That said, if blacks are not at the top, it would be harder to control our own lives and it would be harder to be happy as money counts towards happiness.

By the way, most importantly is one of all the other things, not the grace of God.

Africans have been doing the grace of God for years and all it does is pastors na miliki and they have private jets.

It is because they are not doing all the others in the first place that they are looking for and put so much emphasis on the grace of God.

moca:
.
U r a comedian!




Efe darling!

That is what I see in my black brothers and sisters na.

Mindfulness:
I have been following this discussion for a while now and it is nice to see that people can discuss important topics in a civil manner on NL.
I think you and Sagamite have made very enriching contributions and I hope you do not mind me butting in.

I disagree with you and Cococandy in this respect though.
Many, if not even most Nigerians, are very proud of their culture. There are very few Nigerians who reason like Sagamite and are thus critical of Nigerians, Nigeria, its people's mentality and behavior.

And to be honest with you, I think that it is this (often misplaced) pride (along with other reasons) that hinders them from doing better. It serves people to feel better about themselves (think of the slogan "Giant of Africa" ) instead of facing the reality. Nigeria is quite conservative when it comes to culture (even though the minds of the younger generations are being increasingly globalized now) and I can't help but think that this mindset is one of the reasons why Nigerians are not able to exhibit anything in the field of innovation, be it social, cultural or technological or anything else.

By the way, the biggest religion in India is Hinduism and not Buddhism and there are millions of Christians in India but it is not pride that did not allow for Christianity to spread wider around this country but the fact that the British did not allow the missionaries to enter India for almost 200 years. I will have to do some more reading on this topic.

The point I am making is that Nigerians are too proud and too proud of the wrong things. And they lack the spirit of innovation. They will rather stuck to customs and practices that hinder them from development, all in the name of culture and tradition, than on innovation.

I have just brainstormed my ideas, sort of, so pardon my lack of coherence in this post.

My ex-German girlfriend used to tell me how her ex-Nigerian boyfriend used to boast and tell her how advanced Nigeria was and used to lie about how it was so advanced, showing her pictures of the "posh" places (places that don't have as good roads as Peckham), and she is so shocked how I just diss the country at will.

That stupid pride is what Nigerians have. I don't have the moronic pride.

I will never be proud about shyt, underperformance and mediocrity. I am proud about things that are good or done well.

Here is another example of such moronic and unsubstantiated pride:

https://www.nairaland.com/2529460/segun-agbaje-wins-ceo-year/1#37012766

SirShymexx:
This is the type of ignorance I keep alluding to. When you start trying to create a non-existent form of superiority between the African and Caribbean community in the UK based on innuendos, it's problematic. I'm sure you know that the likes of: Zadie Smith, David Lammy, Vivian Hunt, Carol Lake, Damon Buffini, Baroness Patricia Scotland, Baroness Amos etc., to name a few, who're alumni of some of the best Universities in the UK and are some of highest black achievers in the UK.

Ever wondered why there are more black students (home students) of Caribbean descent at OxBridge, Warwick, LSE, and Imperial College - compared to black students of African descent? And why the Caribbeans dominate the black aristocratic class of the UK? Even on TV - can you compare the number of folks of Caribbean descent to those of African descent? You lot need to stop - both groups are on the same level, and the Caribbean community did open a lot of doors for folks of African descent. And you lot need to respect that. They might not have the quantity based on population disparities these days - but they do have the quality.

What utter moronic nonsense!

Can you show us your source that shows there are more black Caribbean home students in the elite universities than there is for black African home students?

They are entering the top schools more than black Africans despite the fact that (a) black africans are more studious (b) perform better in exams and (c) are getting more of the top jobs?

Do you really pull this moronic opinions from your arsse so easily?

Apart from (c) which I said I already have in hard copy. https://www.nairaland.com/1579818/girls-night-out-discussions/30#37017135

(a) http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20130401151715/http://www.education.gov.uk/publications/eOrderingDownload/RTP01-03MIG1734.pdf (see page 25 and page 27)

28% of British Africans going to university get high A' level grades (21+ points) as at year 2000. Only 19% of British Caribbeans do.

And this is based on percentages where the population of British Africans is higher than that of British Caribbeans.

On page 4, it even says that British Caribbeans are more likely to enter high education than any other race with Access qualifications.

On page 9, it says British Caribbean kids are already underperforming at Key Stage 3 than any other race?

So how are they entering the top universities more than British Africans?

They go to Oxbridge with Access qualifications?

Who the fck do you think you are arguing with and you cannot check your facts, cretin?

(b) Are you telling us Nigeria, Ghana and Sierra Leone are in the Caribeans?

Is that another of your moronic claims like a Senior Manager is a Managing Director?

http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2013/mar/22/white-british-children-outperformed-by-minorities

So African kids are outperforming underperforming Caribbean kids in British schools but Caribbean kids are ending up in the top universities with Access qualifications?

Looking at this Camden Council report alone. It is even stated that Nigerian and Ghanaian kids perform far better than Caribbean kids and other Africans like Somali.

Page 5 http://www.supplementaryeducation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/ACHIEVEMENT-REPORT-2014-FINAL-1.pdf

Even the Voice (a British Black Caribbean newspaper) is saying Caribbean kids are dragging down the average grades of Black British kids.

http://www.voice-online.co.uk/article/why-are-british-africans-better-school-caribbeans

Fuuktard, where did you get your "facts" from?

Your arse?

And this foool says he works in the city?

On the moronic point of selective names in British politics as "evidence" of equal or superior achievement by Caribbean British, fooool, Caribbeans have been in the UK longer.

They also have put complete root in the UK as there is no big enough economy to go back to in the Caribbeans. Africans tend to have dual home countries.

Many Africas that study in top universities can and do tend to go back to their homeland and achieve there. The Caribbeans stay.

And, cretin, Damon Buffini is not Caribbean.

He should ensure he does not select any of these judges:

DisHon Justice Ibrahim N. Buba
DisHon Justice Abubakar Talba
DisHon Justice Abdul Kafarati
DisHon Justice T.D. Naron
DisHon Justice Marcel Awokulehin
DisHon Justice Joseph Wowo
DisHon Justice Dan Abutu
DisHon Justice A.M. Liman
DisHon Justice A. Abdul-Kafarati

Nigeria's criminal judges!

These cretins should never get a public job in Nigeria again.

laudate:
I said it before, and Kachikwu is proving me right... "the undertakers have arrived."

This man will go down in history, as the one who supervised the demise of NNPC.

And what is sad/annoying about the demise of NNPC?

Please lecture me.

“The intolerance of the APC and the glaring insensitivity of this government, in spite of the outcries of well-meaning Nigerians against their undemocratic leanings, raise fears about the future of our democracy and the general health of our dear nation”

Means:

“Fighting corruption is intolerance and glaring insensitivity. Those that loot and steal are well-meaning Nigerians and demonstrate true democratic leanings. Raising fears about the future of our democracy and the general health of our dear nation just because of corruption, which is obviously not stealing, is completely out of order”

Yours sincerely,

PDP

Reflects the true mentality of the Reetardeen Joonadaft administration.

GEJ till 6058!!!

Ngokafor:
..@Sagamite you are so on point with your assertions..especially about Blacks being seen as cool idiots..
..There is this comedy called Big Bang Theory that i enjoy watching cos it is really funny.It has to do with funny but highly intelligent nerds..am not a racist but i could not help noticing that a whiteman had a representative amongst the cast,same with whitewoman,Jews(male and female) and Asian...but not a single black person ..but if it was one that has to do with no real intellectual prowess but being a player ,goofy and a sportsperson(preferably a basketball player),then a blackman will be casted.

..As far as i am concerned,it says a lot about the perceptions other races still have about us.Unfortunately black people are only interested in silly and mediocre stuffs like how much whitewomen love them via sex and their d**ks,or reeling out whitemans achievements to butteress their postulations in being better than women.(for men that is)

..Something really needs to be done,and crying 'racism'all the time does not cut it at all.

..I had to single out men here cos if they get it right then it is good for us..A soceity or community were the men are emasculated is dommed indeed.

Yep.

Institutional stereotype.

The way we portray ourselves and our achievements does not render us to be stereotyped as intelligent. Especially in technology.

Big Bang Theory is based on people in Caltech.

About half of Caltech student population is Asian (Chinko and Indo). 1% are black.

Check out the stats for blacks in American Football, Basketball and in prisons.

moca:
I will always respect the Jews.

Damn!their entrepreneurial/ resilient spirits is something one can study in the university. They are very hard working.

We are only good in consuming.

We are also good at showing off and looking cool.

Also, we can dance.



Black people.

EfemenaXY:
Thanks for this Saga.

Yes, I wanted to address the earlier point you made about swift career progression of Kweku from the BackOffice to the FrontOffice, but this is going to be purely from my experiences and what I've seen for myself.

Kweku's progression really isn't that unusual in the Investment Banking environment if he joined in on the Graduate Scheme. I too joined in on a similar scheme shortly after obtaining my Masters Degree (another point I'll address). You don't even need to have that much experience as a Graduate Trainee but you must demonstrate the drive, motivation, and of course, good grades to back you up too.

Regarding the graduate scheme I was on, it ran on a series of (optional) placements. I say optional because although not mandatory, graduates were encouraged to broaden their experiences by working in different areas of the bank. For those of us in Investment Banking Technology (IB Tech) we had to run with that position for at least two and a half years, out of which it was mandatory to spend at least one year in a particular role (the first six months to get to grips with the job and the latter six months to demonstrate what you've learnt / deliver the goods). Hiring managers were made to understand that such graduates could move onto any area of the bank they so wished, irrespective of what their performance rankings were once their one year tenure was up (but obviously, if you were completely crappy at your job, you'll get an awful reference feedback and any other potential manager could choose to hire or not hire you at their discretion - it was subjective, if you get what I mean).

So potentially, those of us in IB Tech could out of those 2^1/2 years rotate 2 or 3 years. Some chose to remain were they were and others chose to explore. I think (can't remember) for those in Operations, their tenures were shorter. 6 - 9 months was all they needed in a particular role before moving - based on the assumption that working in Operations was far easier than Technology. Additionally, graduates were encouraged to network with others including potential hiring managers via any one of the numerous corporate bonding activities, social events, lunches / dinners / Friday evening pub quizzes / get-togethers. There's so much I can't list them all. So it's very possible that Kweku could have been an extrovert who easily socialized and was able to network efficiently. His progression isn't that surprising either.

On the graduate scheme it's been Analyst --> AVP --> VP --> Exec Dir --> MD and onwards. On completion of the graduate scheme, if you did well, you become an AVP and shortly afterwards a VP all in the span of 3-5 years. If you came in via the non-graduate route, it'll be Analyst --> Associate --> VP --> Exec and son on.

If you do well or if you do exceptionally?

To my knowledge, it is very rare to see people jump the Associate grade.

It just wouldn't make financial sense to the executive team. Worse still when they will be glad to have the job in the first place.

At worst, if people are good, they just spend less time at the Associate grade before moving up.

My understanding is that the norm is people spend 3 years at each grade. So getting to VP/Director should take about 8/9 years.

The fact he was a back office staff to start with, also makes it strange he did it in 5 years.

He must have been good and connected.

EfemenaXY:
Now, to the bit regarding the type of uni one attended. Sure, employers will always actively source out high performing graduates from top elite schools but that doesn't mean they don't look elsewhere. I got my first degree from Naija (UNN) and then my Masters degree from a not so great Uni over here. Infact, I tried my best to get into schools like Imperial College (like my dad did way back in the 70's on scholarship), but for where. It was tough. Of the six Universities I applied for, five said "No". I was so upset, I didn't even read my mails for a month and nearly missed the sixth one that offered me a place. But guess what, after I'd accepted the offer, I found out that my school was at the bottom of the league table. Saga, bottom oh! not last but one, or third to last - but the very bottom. It didn't help either during the course to see my course mates drop off like flies. Of the six of us who started, I was the only one from that set that completed the darn course and got my degree (thanks to my dad's encouragement). He used to say the Uni wasn't as important as completing the course successfully. "Just get your certificate girl!" was what he told me.

Anyway, my point is: yes, my Uni was crappy but what managers look out for when interviewing someone, (i.e: apart from their qualifications, experiences, and interpersonal skills) is whether that person will fit into their team. It's subjective, I know, but they silently ask themselves "can I work with him / her?". So yes, my school wasn't that cool or anywhere close to the Russel Group of Universities, but you know what, I held my own beside all those self-indulgent pompous twits posh kids from posh schools / backgrounds, and bagged myself a "posh" job. Lol!

That is fantastic.

An intelligent person is an intelligent person.

The ones that don't go to top unis still have a good chance to do well.

A top uni just gives you a head start and a gloss. To finish the race is different.

Be proud of what comes out of your mouth more than what university you attended.

EfemenaXY:
Oh, one more thing: For my particular intake, I think we were 30 in number of which there were 4 blacks. 3 black girls and one black guy. I sometimes think we were carefully "race-selected".

Black girl1 - British Passport holder
Black girl2 - American Passport holder
Black girl3 - French Passport holder
Black guy - Nigerian passport

But funnily enough, we were all Nigerians (ethnic backgrounds) apart from the French girl. So I guess this might tie in with your statistics. I don't know what the % of blacks were for previous and subsequent intakes, but I'm guessing it might have been something similar.

The stats I gave was a mix of Black African and Black other. I only added them up because I could not get data that separates percentages of Black British overall population.

The hard copy data I have differentiates. Trust me, Black African had 90% of all those percentages. Which mainly means Nigerian and Ghanaian.

We carry the black race in the UK.

moca:
It's a vicious cycle.
This is exactly what we do at home.
Too busy looking for jobs.

African migrants would spend about half a year's wages to cross seas to look for a job.

https://cache.boston.com/universal/site_graphics/blogs/bigpicture/africa_01_23/a04_16975333.jpg

moca:
Exactly. Like my igbo brothers and sisters.

That is why they have the nickname "Jews of Nigeria".

cococandy:
I agree with you on other things.

I only meant the black identity and ethnic culture presence in the west. Since blacks were slaves in the west unlike the Asians, wouldn't it make sense their pride in who they are was beaten out alongside their will. Hence we don't have strongholds of black communities who have a whole section of the town to themselves with their culture present just by looking at their buildings built in the African patterns or languages openly spoken as lingua Franca in that area or the street signs written in African languages and tourists pouring in to experience Africa in America as they would go into Chinatown to experience China in America.

It might.

But that is just an excuse.

How come it does not spur them to be even more successful than normal?

Jews were killed and hated for centuries. Chased out from place to place. They did not collapsed and fail.

https://www.nairaland.com/1804892/isreal-bombards-gaza-it-literally/10#24561773

Babes, I don't do excuses.

I do self-review and improvement.

bukatyne:
@Damiso and Sagamite,

I believe entrepreneural spirit is inborn.

I would say study a child and know What his/her natural gift are as opposed to you must study x y z

Well said.

But the proportion that have it amongst Blacks is no different from other races.

We just have a society that destroys the spirit in the few that have it.