₦airaland Forum

Nairaland i said ST*PID not silly. Stop screening my words

When BH turn to face NL, then will all these stupid commentators in NL here(not you) will learn to respect their leaders and know what to comment at a critical time like this.

[quote author=Gen. Orumov]This coach dey use mind games like Jose Mourinho. He knows everyone is afraid of Boko Haram so as from now on opponents of El-Kanemi would not want to win them for the fear of attack from BH.[/quote]I feel this coach

***CLAPPING***
We are the giant of Africa

[quote author=gator_666]Guilty as charged, on all five counts [/quote]Not yet guilty my Lord

Warn Nigeria? Is this a threat or what?

malele: Humans are wicked, when these moslems ignite this war they are looking for
dey wont understand what hit them
look the way they waste lives dey cant create

Jesus me! These people are heartless, see those defenless women and children. UN should help us.

[b][/b]This is a distraction, how I wish abt 2 or more senators or top politician will be kill so that their colleagues can wake up.

TechRev: Ohh you dont know Do i hate the police?? No i dont. Do i like them?? I like most uniform officers army being first. [color=#990000][/color]Will i like to get close to a Nigerian policeman?? GOD FORBID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why??

I know this question has been asked a million times, but I'm asking it again. Why do people hate the Police so much especially in the Nigerian society where the Police is "a friend to all".
The Police help you with no matter what problem you have. If someone is in your house shooting up your family, no one else besides the Police are going to eliminate the threat so that you can be safe and live your live instead of someone idiot taking yours.
The Police put their lives on the line for the safety of the society yet they get little or no no support/motivation from the society.
Yesterday, some Policemen got into trouble when their vehicle was involved in an accident, nobody care to help, people were just passing with no concern. I'm afraid because I am waiting to join the Police and I'm just wondering why do people hate the Police?

Which one be comment?

High cost of operation VS Poverty

If claims by the leader of the
Northern Civil Society Coalition,
Mallam Shehu Sani are anything
to go by, it may take only a
phone call from the Presidency to put an end to the Boko Haram menace ravaging the North.
According to Sani, if President
Jonathan calls him today, he would give him the name and contact of one person whose intervention will lead to a successful dialogue with the militant sect.
Sani who spoke in an interview
with The Guardian during the
week, insisted that indeed, the
person in question is somebody
also known to the president.
“…I have repeatedly said that if
President Jonathan can make a
phone call to me today and ask me of one person who can solve the problem, I will give him the name of the person. And apart from the person, I don’t see the possibility of any other person whom the group
can trust,” the activist declared.
Sani also indicted some elements in the Jonathan government over the failure of past attempts at dialogue,
saying these persons may have
been sabotaging such efforts either in the mistaking belief that force can solve the problem or because they are deriving some pecuniary
gains from the situation.
“Boko Haram has agreed to a term of ceasefire, has agreed to dialogue, but has consistently been undermined by elements within the government who either choose to do so on the grounds that they believe the use of force can end the group or are sabotaging dialogue
because they believe they are
profiting from the system as it is.
“Before now, I used to think that Boko Haram was completely opposed to peace or ceasefire, but in the few occasions that I have been involved in seeking a way out
of this problem, I have seen that much of the sabotage came from the side of the government,” he said Confirming reports that he
facilitated former President
Obasanjo’s meeting with the family of a member of the Boko Haram sect sometime ago, Sani insisted that if the Federal Government showed sincere, dialogue could sooner than later end the activities of the militant sect.

Agency Report: The Guardian
Nigeria

Both heads think differently? Imagine, one head one sleep, one no gree. This one one f**k, one no gree. Hey! Carrying 2 heads to write one exams.

Now the capital base of Boko haram wiil be expanded

I will never forget that night when we were served beans and garri, and we couldn't sleep throughout that night. Imagine 54 people messing(call it farting) all night.

Prospective Corps Members who were posted to Bauchi, Gombe, Plateau, Kano and Kaduna have been directed to report to the NYSC HQ for redeployment. Also CMs posted to Yobe and Borno would also now carry out their orientation exercise at the NYSC camps in Nasarawa and Benue respectively.

Tedyk: U try buh u no qet work

u r mouthed-lol

Two Brothers nick-named
P-SQUARE sang a song called DO ME and got IFUNAYA pregnant. They ran to escape the TEMPTATION but their BIZZY BODY couldn't allow them stay, because, E NO EASY.
While running, they ran into DANGER till they began to ROLL IT
until the GAME IS OVER.
This twin brothers have now
decided to trick BEAUTIFUL ONYINYE by telling her 'you must CHOP MY
MONEY'

The Lagos State Government has
warned Lagosians to be prepared
for heavier rains and thunderstorm within the next two weeks.
The government said the expected heavier rainfall and windstorms were envisaged the peak period of this year’s rainy season.
Commissioner for the Environment, as a proactive
and responsive Measures to limit the effect of the Flood, the following measures has been reccommended:

1. Get an umbrella or 2
2. Life jacket or one mechellin car tube equivallent
3. Small families should get a portable canoe while large one should get Noah's ark.
4. Individuals or Groups planning to relocate to Lagos should posses any of the following skills ; (a)swimming (b)diving or both.
Lagosians should not desist from their "Occupy" acts which include occupying canals with their waste,
occupying drainage channels by erecting structures along it etc

Lagosians should take full
advantage of this season. The Unemployed Youth should also invest in fish farming as water is readily available.
Landlords should also use this opportunity to create tourist site, including swimming pool for thier tenant while SWIMMING should be offered as a course in all public schools and institution including MAULAG.
Lagosians are advised not panic any time it rains, but be rest assured that Agbero and liked agencies are always on a standby to collect rebenue accrue from tgis enterprise.

All of you is vely stupid and idioticraziling idiote. For rall the money your parents was spenting for you in scul, you can not spake gud and orally engrish rike me. I wonder wat u were doesing in scul.

If all this OLDIES continue leading this country, what's the fake of "The leaders of tomorrow"- the Youths.

Even the Bible has said it "Don't be ignorance of the devices of the devil".
But if it not a fairy tale, let them use it against the Boko Harams.

HOW TO MAKE A MAN
HAPPY:-
> 01. Feed him
> 02. Sleep with him
> 03. Leave him in peace
>04. Don't check his phone
(Msgs)
>05. Don't bother him
about his movements
>06. Honor him
> Whats so hard about
that.... ?
HOW TO MAKE
A WOMAN HAPPY
It's really not difficult...To
make a woman
happy; a man only needs to be:
> 01. a friend
> 02. a companion
> 03. a lover
> 04. a brother
> 05. a father
> 06. a master
> 07. a chef
> 08. an electrician
> 09. a carpenter
> 10. a plumber
> 11. a mechanic
> 12. a decorator
> 13. a stylist
> 14. a sexologist
> 15. a gynaecologist
> 16. a psychologist
> 17. a pest exterminator
> 18. a psychiatrist
> 19. a healer
> 20. a good listener
> 21. an organiser
> 22. a good father
> 23. very clean
> 24. sympathetic
> 25. athletic
> 26. warm
> 27. attentive
> 28. gallant
> 29. intelligent
> 30. funny
> 31. creative
> 32. tender
> 33. strong
> 34. understanding
> 35. tolerant
> 36. prudent
> 37. ambitious
> 38. capable
> 39. courageous
> 40. determined
> 41. true
> 42. dependable
> 43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
> 44. give her compliments
regularly
> 45. love shopping
> 46. be honest
> 47. be very rich
> 48. not stress her out
> 49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU
MUST ALSO:
> 50. give her lots of
attention,
> 51. give her lots of time, especially time
for herself
> 52. give her lots of space,
never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
> 53. Never to forget:

> * birthdays
> * anniversaries
> * arrangements she
makes

Started cracking this same joke when i was 11yrs old.

A young police officer was
taking his final exam at the
Police College in Kano.
This was one of the
questions; You are on patrol
in the town of Kano when
an explosion occurs. On
investigation you find a
large crater has been blown
in the footpath and there is
an overturned Van lying
nearby. Inside the van there
is a strong smell of alcohol.
Both occupants, a Man and
Woman are injured.
You recognise the Woman
as the Wife of your
Divisional Police Officer,
who is at present away on a
Peace Keeping Mission In
Sudan. A passing Motorist
stops to offer you assistance
and you realise that he is a
man who is wanted for
armed robbery.
Suddenly, a man runs out of
a nearby house, shouting
that his wife is expecting a
baby and that the shock of
the explosion has made the
birth imminent. Another
man is crying for help,
having been blown into an
adjacent Canal by the
explosion, and can't swim.
Describe in a few words
what action you would
take?.
The Police officer thought
for a moment, picked up his
pen, and wrote; I would
take off my uniform and
mingle with the crowd! Is it
me that you people want to
turn to a mad man?.
If the You happen to be the Policeman, what will you write?

I'm doubting if Nigerian teams are playing like Chelsea? Chelsea has only one target ie to win, unlike us who are just making love to football.
Minus Politics,we can have our desired team.

Exponental: avnt u seen ds joke b4?

no joke where u never see. Hw many eyes u get. Lolz