₦airaland Forum

Why is the man the head of the family?

It is a generally accepted 'fact' all over the world that the man, the father, is the head of the family unit. Men Why is the man the head of the family?accept it, women accept it. As a 'scientist' (I was a science student, ok?), I am inclined to ask 'why?' Why are we men the de-facto leaders of the home.
[list][li]Is it because we are physically bigger and stronger?[/li]
[li]Is it because men are generally better leaders?[/li]
[li]Is it as a result of a conspiracy by men to keep women under?[/li]
[li]Perhaps it because women would rather not lead?[/li]
[li]Perhaps women are afraid of being ultimately responsible for the home?[/li][/list]

Despite the time I've spent thinking about it, I don't have a satisfactory answer. Do you have the answer? Would you like to share it with us? Please register and start contributing! Why is the man the head of the family?

If there is no a concrete reason for making the man the leader, it is only a matter of time before some women start clamoring for the leadership position in the home! In a few years we might have families where the wife will say "I am the head of this family and my husband and children are subordinates!"

Abomination? Why?

I conducted some enquiries on your behalf and recieved the following e-mail as a result:

From: gomes adebowale <gomesea@yahoo.com>
To:
Date: Apr 25, 2005 2:53 PM
Subject: Re: Someone needs an German Shepherd!

If you are interested in a German Shephard dog, call me on 08035165413 as I can get the dog for you at a moderate price.

With love from
Gomes S.E.A

---

Please keep us informed about your progress in getting the dog. And when you get the dog, make sure you send us lots of pictures!

Here are some references in the news:

"Nigeria is heading towards an Argentinean-style default on its $33 billion of overseas debt unless western creditors accept a deal to alleviate the country's financial burden, The Guardian (UK) reports a delegation from west Africa's biggest economy said in London yesterday." (Nigeria At Risk Of $33 Billion Default - Noticias.info)

"On the face of it, this may not be the best time for an oil exporting country to ask forgiveness from its creditors. When that country is Nigeria, where for decades the proceeds of both oil and borrowing have been squandered and embezzled, it becomes even harder to get taken seriously." (Nigeria's Debt - FT.com)

[url=http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/story/0,,1470480,00.html]The Original Guardian UK Article[/url]

For those of us who are into Economics or Finance, the following articles talk about Argentina's very similar situation: Argentina's Debt Restructuring, Learning from Argentina's Crisis. (they simply stopped servicing their debts at a point, forcing creditors to negotiate with them and reduce their debts! )

What if the International community decides to sanction us? They may feel that by accomodating us they would be encouraging other debtors to do the same!

If a stranger sends any download to your phone, you have every reason to be skeptical.

List of bail conditions:[list][li]Production of two eminent persons as sureties in the sum of N50 million each who shall be holders of the national honours not below GCON and who shall be landed property owners within Asokoro or Maitama of the Federal Capital Territory, title documents of which shall be deposited with the court.[/li][li]As further guarantee, the accused shall produce four traditional title holders of first class ranking reflecting a geographical spread of the country[/li][li]The accused shall report weekly to the nearest EFCC office to him and the accused shall surrender all his travel documents including all international passports to the court.[/li][/list]

I hope I have not created a false impression by posting only those two pictures. There have been [I]violent protests[/I] (trust Africans) among supporters of the opposition.

Read the new links in my first post to find out more. For the latest news on developments in Togo, you can also try http://allafrica.com/togo/newswire/. Those protesters constitute what I like to call the 'militant minority' in any population. People who don't value peace.
[img]http://www.nairaland.com.nyud.net:8090/img/togo-protesters.jpg[/img]

https://www.nairaland.com/img/togo-women.jpg https://www.nairaland.com/img/faure.jpg

I think it's nice that our president played a part in this process. I am not surprised that Faure won; and he will probably have won with or without rigging; the 'devil' you know is better than the angel you don't know.

Faure Gnassingbe, the son of Togo's late military leader, Gnassingbe Eyadema (who ruled for 38 years) has won the presidential election! He won 60% of the votes.

"We do not like that small boy to govern us, we do not like that small boy to govern us. His father did bad against us. How can we leave his son to treat us as animals. We are not animals." (Togolese Youth)

"No, I did not want to be president. I just wanted to do some politics for maybe 10 years, then go for business because before coming into politics I was in business, and then everyone knows what happened, and then my party selected me to go for the candidacy." (Faure on his political intentions prior to his father's death)

"I am the new image of Togolese youth, the new image of Togo. I'm going to take this country to the next level. More freedom, more democracy. It's the only way we can solve our problems." (Faure Gnassingbe at campaign rallies)

"Mr Faure received 60% of the votes, while main opposition candidate Emmanuel Bob-Akitani got 38% of votes cast." (electoral commission chairwoman Kissem Tchangai Walla)

"The president said his victory would be a victory for the Togolese people. You can be sure that he will extend his hand to all citizens so that together we can build a stable Togo." (Komi Klassou, Gnassingbe’s campaign director)

"Like his father, Gnassingbe is a man of very few words. But he does have the fierce loyalty of the country's well-organized and well-equipped military. Born in 1966 to a mother who hails from Atakpame in central Togo, he is one of Eyadema's many sons and seen as the most levelheaded. He studied at France's Sorbonne University and has an MBA from the George Washington University in the United States." (Sun News Online)

Sun News Online | Voice of America Article | Seattle Times | BBC News

Why not get a 'free domain name' (free subdomain with URL redirection) and point it to your current website? You can get such 'free domain names' from:
- http://dot.tk/ (yourdomain.tk domains)
- http://freedomain.co.nr/ (yourdomain.co.nr domains)

However, if you really want a new free web host, you should visit:
- BIZ.LY Free Hosting - Recommended by freedomain.co.nr for beginers.
They offer 12 MB of free web space to store your files, www.NAME.biz.ly - a cool and FREE web address, easy to use web page builder, visitors counter, guestbook, and more.

- 50Webs Hosting - Recommended by freedomain.co.nr for experienced users.
They offer 60 mb of free web space with unlimited bandwidth, free subdomain as an address for your web site, FTP access, POP3 email account and much more. (You need to learn HTML; you need to stop trying to get something for nothing!)

Hope this helps.

You want a president who will spend his first three years trying to understand what his job is all about?

I always smile when I see Revd. Chris Okotie contesting for the post of president. I just smile. I simply don't think he has what it takes. I'm more inclined to vote for someone who has been involved in politics at some level in the last 8 years.

Incorporated by Alhaji Aliko Dangote in the early 80s, the Dangote Group has the following divisions:
- Sugar Division
- Flour Division
- Pasta Division
- Salt Division
- Cement Division
- Agro-sacks Division
- Textile Division
- Port Operations Division
- Transport Division
(Source: Dangote Group official website)

Contact Address:
THE DANGOTE GROUP,
Marble House
1, Kingsway Road
(1, Alfred Rewane Road)
Ikoyi, Lagos - Nigeria.
Tel: 234 1 2695108, 234 1 2695109, 234 1 2695110
Email: info@dangote-group.com

Alhaji Aliko Dangote's name ([url=http://www.newswatchngr.com/profiles/Aliko%20Dangote-Ultimate%20Player.htm]Newswatch profile[/url]) pops up whenever people are talking about successful Nigerian businessmen. But what really do we know about him? Do you know one thing or the other about this man who is simply known as '[I]Dangote[/I]? You can share your knowledge here. I'll go first.

- His full name is Alhaji Aliko Dangote.
- He is the CEO of the Dangote Group.
- He was born in Kano to Mohammed Dangote and Hajiya Mariya Sanusi Dantata.
- He started trading in the 1978 with a loan from his uncle Sanusi Dantata, at age 21.
- His interest in trading started when he was 8 years old, despite being born in a rich family.

Aliko Dangote Quotes
"I can remember when I was in primary school, I would go and buy cartons of sweets and I would start selling them just to make money. I was so much interested in business. Even at that time, I was very used to buying and selling. It is in my mind all through. I did that on a part-time basis. I usually bought packets of sweets and gave some people to sell for me. I would join them whenever I closed from school. I would collect my profit and give them something out of it. And we continued like that,

"The family had many servants. So, some of them were selling things. I would say, 'Please, sell these for me' and he would sell and render accounts afterwards. That was what I was doing. It was not as if I established shops."

"If you give me today $5 billion, I will not invest any abroad, I will invest everything here in Nigeria. Let us put heads together and work."

"{[I]Nigerians[/I]} can even be bigger than Aliko Dangote. The whole thing is that you have to really be very determined. You have to believe that, yes, there’s a future in this country of ours and I can tell you right now, I don’t believe we have even started doing anything in Nigeria because the opportunities are so enormous. I don’t even know where to start from." (source).

The man:
[img]http://www.nairaland.com.nyud.net:8090/img/dangote.jpg[/img]

You know, I think I like him already! So what do [I]you[/I] know about Alhaji Aliko Dangote?

Delarontus,

To play a DVD-Recordable you need a DVD drive! Most new laptops come equipped with DVD drives but locally assembled systems tend to come with CD drive because they are a bit cheaper. A DVD drive for your PC costs about 5,000 naira while a CD drive costs aboot 2,500 naira.

Assuming you have a DVD drive, however, then you might be having problems playing a video DVD. You might find the following article useful: 'Guide To DVD Playback In Windows Media Player'. If you get it to work, feel free to come back here and tell us what steps you took!

And please, o please, do tell us how to get movies on DVD in Nigeria!

Mamba,

I love nice, informative threads like this one. Well done!

My mum, a licensed pharmacist, is definitely the doctor in our house. When I was younger, we used to avoid her when when we had cuts and bruises because she would gleefully bring out her tools - methylated spirit, cotton wool, iodine, hydrogen peroxide, scissors, hot water, etc. We even tried to hide fevers out of the fear of getting so many tablets to swallow!

But I appreciate what she does now that I'm older and I don't have to take whatever she prescribes. Besides I like drugs now,

Trish, you're very right. I think the current set-up is unfair to women. Personally, I think such programmes are a little bit degrading to the competitors, both men and women! I hate the way the presenter talks down to them as if the show is something important.

Give me a break, it's just an elaborate advertisement for Gulder!

If you call me and I don't know who you are, I just say "Hello" in a rather musical voice and wait for you to talk.

Dominobaby,

Do you believe that only genuine Christians can experience true love? Or is it available to people of other faiths?

And while we're on the issue of drinks.

Clarus went to Mama Put's shop and ordered 3 bottles of Ogogoro. He drank them one after the other. Day after day, he repeated the ritual. He would order three bottles of the strong drink, and empty them one after the other.

One day Mama Put became curious and asked him why he did that. "You see, I have two brothers. One is now in Australia and the other is in England. We made a pact that we will remember one another when we drink."

Sometime later, he came into the bar and ordered only two bottles of Ogogoro. Mama Put felt that something was wrong. "I am sorry to see that you have lost one of your brothers.".

"No," he said, "I still have two brothers."

"Then why do you order only two bottles?"

"You see," Clarus explained, "recently my wife took me to a crusade. To the glory of God, I have decided to stop drinking."

Nice one, Trish! . While we're still on the issue of transportation here's another story:

A Lagosian pastor and his driver died in a car crash and went to heaven. Both of them were welcomed. The angel on duty showed the driver a 3-storey duplex of pure gold and said "this is your mansion". He showed the pastor a small wooden shed and said "this is your dwelling place!"

The pastor was confused. "I don't understand", he said. "Why should my driver get a golden duplex while all I get this wooden shed for eternity. I have been a faithful preacher for several years."

The angel replied, "when you preached, people slept. But whenever your driver drove, people cried to God!"

Our malaria drugs work quite well, thank you ().

Anyway, what do you usually look forward to seeing in Nigeria as a tourist?

The bandwidth on Infinitaz is probably shared, so you won't know what you're getting until you test it.

Armani, thanks for the information.

Their website, obviously is at: www.stallionet.com

Yeah, but maybe your parents' case is not so much 'true love' as it is two people who understand what it takes to make a relationship work and are willing to do it? Or maybe that and their having similar value systems?

(I haven't travelled out before, so I wouldn't know if it's legal to) simply buy one or two packs of anti-malarial drugs here and take them back home for your next visit. Or simply buy the drugs on arrival here ...

From the National Standard magazine:
"The humility and success of the founder of Christ Embassy is simply phenomenal. In a few years, the ministry has grown from a campus fellowship of a few hundreds to an international ministry making world-wide impact. And in nearly every country of the world, the gospel according to Pastor Chris is spreading fast.

"Oyakhilome talks about Jesus and the Holy Spirit as though they live together. Handsome and debonair, he delivers the message of the one he said sent him with a passion. In Nigeria his name has become synonymous with miracle healing. And when he talks about prosperity, he really is unapologetic. Hear him “I will never be broke in my life”.

"Since the debut of its TV programme in 1996, the ministry has remained on the cutting edge, pioneering new ways of doing things in the industry, that has become the envy of long established television stations. It has the largest Christian television network in Africa, and with its recently launched satellite station is reaching out to about a quarter of the world's population.

"Aside miracle healing, Oyakhilome is also many things to different people. To some, he is controversial and to others, he is mysterious. And the man of God doesn't help matters as he has consistently refused to grant press interviews. He would rather talk about the Christ he seeks to introduce than Pastor Chris. Last week, National Standard in line with our avowed commitment to letting you hear from notable Nigerians got Pastor Chris to talk. He spoke with Editor-in-Chief, Ambrose Isesele. We serve you the first of a two part series. You will be glad to read this."

After at least 45 minutes of work on reformatting the interview and trying to post it here, my browser crashed and I lost all the work. So I'm just going to link to the Interview.

Click Here to Read the Interview from the Christ Embassy website.
If you want to print it out, there's also a zipped PDF version.

What do you think about Pastor Oyhakilome's ministry, miracles, and general conduct during this interview?

Since you've never experienced this 'true love', how do you know it exists? From romantic novels and movies?

First of all, I hope this site grows to the point where opinions expressed like this will eventually reach politicians and other people who can make a difference.

I wonder why anti-malaria drugs are expensive in Australia. They are quite cheap here, in the order of 1% of what they cost in your country.

A European pilot came to Nigeria and hired two local hunters to help him get some 'bush meat'. He dropped them in the forest in a chartered plane and returned a week later to pick them up.

He looked at the 'bush meat' they had shot. "There is no way the plane can take all this bush meat. We will have to leave a third of it behind."

"But we did it last year", the hunters insisted. "The pilot took the two of us and the same amount of bush meat in a plane just like yours"

The pilot hesitated, but then decided to take their word for it. "Well, if you did it last year, I suppose we can do it again this year."

The plane took off. As it approached a nearby mountain, it could not gain height. it crashed into the side of the mountain. The pilot and the hunters crawled out of the plane, dazed but glad to be alive.

"I wonder where we are," the pilot asked. One of the hunters looked around, "Don't worry, I think we are just 15 metres east of where we crashed last year."

Submit your Nigerian (or '[I]Nigeria-nized[/I]') jokes here!

This is more or less a continuation of what Axeprince started on the popular MobileNigeria thread ('SMS's (Jokes,Rhymes,Love Poems et al').

Please, no obscenity or obscene language is allowed. Tribal or religious jokes are allowed, as long as they are not inflammatory. Comedians, feel free to post any joke you've invented on this thread, so you can get some feedback .

Thanks, and happy [I]joking[/I]!

[I]William Femi Awodele[/I]
"When an African man or woman is born and raised in Nigeria, Ghana, etc such a
person is greatly influenced by the culture and religion and may not be aware of it.

1. Issue of Dowry and the role of the man and woman

The payment of dowry is a common practice in Africa, while dowry
payments date back to Bible days, its meaning has changed. Dowry is now
seen as purchasing the woman, so the woman is seen as a property and not
a helpmate.

For many years when women were uneducated, men got away with treating
them as a property. But with women lawyers, doctors, and other highly
placed professionals, things are changing.

Based on the issue of dowry, women are treated different. We joke that a
woman's place is in the kitchen. African men force respect out of their
spouse by beating them instead of getting it through good leadership.
The leadership role of a man is generally interpreted as that of a boss
and servant, instead of the role stated in the Bible, as servant leader
which Christ himself demonstrated in John chapter 13 when He washed the
feet of His disciple.

While speaking to over 100 pastors and wives in Port-au-Prince, Haiti
last week (4/8 - 4/16/05) you could have heard the pin drop when I said
men and women are equal before God and men are only the leader among
equal.

Earning more than your husband is a new concept that many people don't
know how to deal with because for decades African men (and indeed men
all over the world) have tied leading the home to financial dominance or
more earning capacity.

2. Conflict Resolution

Africans have always resolved conflicts by going to the Elders in the
village or among the extended family, while this has served us well and
I still recommend it, it's becoming a problem for us to do because this
elders for the most part don't deal with the issues brought up e.g.
adultery (because they are committing adultery themselves), they only
pacify the wife and husband. Because of our Spiritual believes we do not
believe in airing our dirty laundry, which means help is not sought for
marital problems until it is too late and when help is sought, a lot of
emphasis is placed on what the "devil" did instead of taking
responsibility for what happened and fixing it. Every marriage will have
problem(s) the and faster you seek help the better for your marriage.

3. Romance

My maternal grandpa had 10 wives that I know and this is typical of men
in his days (read my novel "The Power of Forgiveness" - by Femi Awodele
xulonpress.com). If they show favoritism to one of the women, that woman
is in trouble with the other wives. A man who is able to have sex with
10 different women do not need romance (men give romance to get sex,
while women give sex to get romance - Tommy Nelson). As Africans we did
not see our parents show romance to their spouse(s) and if anyone does
that we call them names "woman wrapper" or "Ruth". What gets on my
nerves is when African men tell me that being Romantic is a western
culture, then I refer them to the Bible which was written thousands of
years ago and it has nothing to do with western culture.

Being romantic with your wife or husband is the way to maintain your
marriage. Women were created by God to be an emotional creation, while
men are logical or analytical. For centuries, the African culture has
forced the woman to work opposite the function of their God given
hormone "estrogen" (If an African woman asks her husband for sex - which
will happen during her ovulation period - she is called "Ashawo"

4. Influence of Extended Family

Extended family has tremendous influence on an African Marriage. A
couple once told me that the husband's mother told both of them
separately not to reveal what they earn to each other. In my speaking
engagements, people have told me how the husband or wives listen to the
family in Nigeria or Togo and not to the spouse they live with here in
the United States or in London. One man actually told his wife that
until he finish building a house in Nigeria they will continue to live
in apartment with 3 kids, when I ask him when he was moving back to
Nigeria, he said not for a long time, but he believed building a house
for his parents while his kids live in a bad neighborhood and go to a
bad school district is the best thing. Many women soon challenge the
reasoning behind such thinking by refusing to combine their income
(which is needed to face the bills in western countries - you cannot
bribe NEPA men to go away if you don't pay your bills). A lot of women
also, choose not to combine their income with the husband because they
think, it is the husband's job to pay bills - they'll rather buy the
latest fashion and its accessories from Switzerland or Austria.

5. Extreme of the Women

While most of the dominance is men related, the women have also bought
into the lies of the national organization of women (NOW). I do lay
counseling and would not tell any woman to stay in an abusive
relationship. I would suggest you separate (if physical or emotional
abuse is involved) while seeking help from professional counselors or
your church or mosque (hopefully your pastor or imam will know when to
refer you for professional help). Divorce is not the better option. The
man is still the head of the home (Ephesians 5: 22 - leader among equal)
and he should be accorded such respect. Don't usurp his authority
because you earn more or throw him out because he is a Taxi driver. You
will get more done by gentle nudging him to do things and occasionally
showing tough love when necessary.

Author: Mr. Femi Awodele
(Newspaper Feature | [url=http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/index%3Dstripbooks%3Arelevance-above%26field-keywords%3Dfemi%252520awodele%26search-type%3Dss%26bq%3D1%26store-name%3Dbooks/ref%3Dxs%5Fap%5Fsai4%5Fxgl14/002-9594717-4831206]Books on Amazon.com[/url] | [email=femi@christiancouples.com]e-mail[/email])

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[img]http://www.nairaland.com.nyud.net:8090/img/femi-awodele.jpg[/img]
William Femi Awodele is the Executive Director of Christian Couples Fellowship International, Inc., a marriage ministry with chapters worldwide based in Omaha, Nebraska, in the United States.

[img]http://www.nairaland.com.nyud.net:8090/img/ola-awodele.jpg[/img]
He is married to Olatokunbo (a family physician), and they are blessed with two boys, Ibukunoluwa (8 years old) and Fiyinfoluwa (3 years old)."