₦airaland Forum

Since you've never experienced this 'true love', how do you know it exists? From romantic novels and movies?

First of all, I hope this site grows to the point where opinions expressed like this will eventually reach politicians and other people who can make a difference.

I wonder why anti-malaria drugs are expensive in Australia. They are quite cheap here, in the order of 1% of what they cost in your country.

A European pilot came to Nigeria and hired two local hunters to help him get some 'bush meat'. He dropped them in the forest in a chartered plane and returned a week later to pick them up.

He looked at the 'bush meat' they had shot. "There is no way the plane can take all this bush meat. We will have to leave a third of it behind."

"But we did it last year", the hunters insisted. "The pilot took the two of us and the same amount of bush meat in a plane just like yours"

The pilot hesitated, but then decided to take their word for it. "Well, if you did it last year, I suppose we can do it again this year."

The plane took off. As it approached a nearby mountain, it could not gain height. it crashed into the side of the mountain. The pilot and the hunters crawled out of the plane, dazed but glad to be alive.

"I wonder where we are," the pilot asked. One of the hunters looked around, "Don't worry, I think we are just 15 metres east of where we crashed last year."

Submit your Nigerian (or '[I]Nigeria-nized[/I]') jokes here!

This is more or less a continuation of what Axeprince started on the popular MobileNigeria thread ('SMS's (Jokes,Rhymes,Love Poems et al').

Please, no obscenity or obscene language is allowed. Tribal or religious jokes are allowed, as long as they are not inflammatory. Comedians, feel free to post any joke you've invented on this thread, so you can get some feedback .

Thanks, and happy [I]joking[/I]!

[I]William Femi Awodele[/I]
"When an African man or woman is born and raised in Nigeria, Ghana, etc such a
person is greatly influenced by the culture and religion and may not be aware of it.

1. Issue of Dowry and the role of the man and woman

The payment of dowry is a common practice in Africa, while dowry
payments date back to Bible days, its meaning has changed. Dowry is now
seen as purchasing the woman, so the woman is seen as a property and not
a helpmate.

For many years when women were uneducated, men got away with treating
them as a property. But with women lawyers, doctors, and other highly
placed professionals, things are changing.

Based on the issue of dowry, women are treated different. We joke that a
woman's place is in the kitchen. African men force respect out of their
spouse by beating them instead of getting it through good leadership.
The leadership role of a man is generally interpreted as that of a boss
and servant, instead of the role stated in the Bible, as servant leader
which Christ himself demonstrated in John chapter 13 when He washed the
feet of His disciple.

While speaking to over 100 pastors and wives in Port-au-Prince, Haiti
last week (4/8 - 4/16/05) you could have heard the pin drop when I said
men and women are equal before God and men are only the leader among
equal.

Earning more than your husband is a new concept that many people don't
know how to deal with because for decades African men (and indeed men
all over the world) have tied leading the home to financial dominance or
more earning capacity.

2. Conflict Resolution

Africans have always resolved conflicts by going to the Elders in the
village or among the extended family, while this has served us well and
I still recommend it, it's becoming a problem for us to do because this
elders for the most part don't deal with the issues brought up e.g.
adultery (because they are committing adultery themselves), they only
pacify the wife and husband. Because of our Spiritual believes we do not
believe in airing our dirty laundry, which means help is not sought for
marital problems until it is too late and when help is sought, a lot of
emphasis is placed on what the "devil" did instead of taking
responsibility for what happened and fixing it. Every marriage will have
problem(s) the and faster you seek help the better for your marriage.

3. Romance

My maternal grandpa had 10 wives that I know and this is typical of men
in his days (read my novel "The Power of Forgiveness" - by Femi Awodele
xulonpress.com). If they show favoritism to one of the women, that woman
is in trouble with the other wives. A man who is able to have sex with
10 different women do not need romance (men give romance to get sex,
while women give sex to get romance - Tommy Nelson). As Africans we did
not see our parents show romance to their spouse(s) and if anyone does
that we call them names "woman wrapper" or "Ruth". What gets on my
nerves is when African men tell me that being Romantic is a western
culture, then I refer them to the Bible which was written thousands of
years ago and it has nothing to do with western culture.

Being romantic with your wife or husband is the way to maintain your
marriage. Women were created by God to be an emotional creation, while
men are logical or analytical. For centuries, the African culture has
forced the woman to work opposite the function of their God given
hormone "estrogen" (If an African woman asks her husband for sex - which
will happen during her ovulation period - she is called "Ashawo"

4. Influence of Extended Family

Extended family has tremendous influence on an African Marriage. A
couple once told me that the husband's mother told both of them
separately not to reveal what they earn to each other. In my speaking
engagements, people have told me how the husband or wives listen to the
family in Nigeria or Togo and not to the spouse they live with here in
the United States or in London. One man actually told his wife that
until he finish building a house in Nigeria they will continue to live
in apartment with 3 kids, when I ask him when he was moving back to
Nigeria, he said not for a long time, but he believed building a house
for his parents while his kids live in a bad neighborhood and go to a
bad school district is the best thing. Many women soon challenge the
reasoning behind such thinking by refusing to combine their income
(which is needed to face the bills in western countries - you cannot
bribe NEPA men to go away if you don't pay your bills). A lot of women
also, choose not to combine their income with the husband because they
think, it is the husband's job to pay bills - they'll rather buy the
latest fashion and its accessories from Switzerland or Austria.

5. Extreme of the Women

While most of the dominance is men related, the women have also bought
into the lies of the national organization of women (NOW). I do lay
counseling and would not tell any woman to stay in an abusive
relationship. I would suggest you separate (if physical or emotional
abuse is involved) while seeking help from professional counselors or
your church or mosque (hopefully your pastor or imam will know when to
refer you for professional help). Divorce is not the better option. The
man is still the head of the home (Ephesians 5: 22 - leader among equal)
and he should be accorded such respect. Don't usurp his authority
because you earn more or throw him out because he is a Taxi driver. You
will get more done by gentle nudging him to do things and occasionally
showing tough love when necessary.

Author: Mr. Femi Awodele
(Newspaper Feature | [url=http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/index%3Dstripbooks%3Arelevance-above%26field-keywords%3Dfemi%252520awodele%26search-type%3Dss%26bq%3D1%26store-name%3Dbooks/ref%3Dxs%5Fap%5Fsai4%5Fxgl14/002-9594717-4831206]Books on Amazon.com[/url] | [email=femi@christiancouples.com]e-mail[/email])

---

[img]http://www.nairaland.com.nyud.net:8090/img/femi-awodele.jpg[/img]
William Femi Awodele is the Executive Director of Christian Couples Fellowship International, Inc., a marriage ministry with chapters worldwide based in Omaha, Nebraska, in the United States.

[img]http://www.nairaland.com.nyud.net:8090/img/ola-awodele.jpg[/img]
He is married to Olatokunbo (a family physician), and they are blessed with two boys, Ibukunoluwa (8 years old) and Fiyinfoluwa (3 years old)."

Hunter: The show started running only this year!

The website of the 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' show in Nigeria is:
http://www.millionairenigeria.com

Frank Edoho, pictured below, is the handsome and classy 'host' of the show:
[img]http://www.millionairenigeria.com.nyud.net:8090/images/host_frank.jpg[/img]

Hunter, I love the fact that you like our country! What are the difficulties you face when you come to Nigeria as a tourist?

Amen

So what is this true love?

Ikpa, I like your angle.

But I think we should bear it in mind that who you are at age 18 is not necessarily who you are at age 25 or 32. Over time, people change. Sometimes with age a person may get more mature, or become an angry and untrusting person over some bitter experiences.

Several times in the course of our debates on romance/relationships, the issue of 'true love' has been mentioned. What exactly is this 'true love' that we all seem to be after?

I think your site looks really beautiful! (I particularly like the smiling faces on the home page)

The front page's total size according to the Web page Analyzer is 71kb, compared to 25kb for this site, for example. Try to reduce the number of images used in the design.

Consider using progressive JPEG format instead of breaking up your graphics into many small images. You probably don't need to have more than one image on a relatively simple page like /home/home.htm! Have mercy on those of us who are narrowband Internet users!

However, artistic websites like what you currently have are a good way of impressing people who want to pay you to design websites for them

I copied the above list verbatim from the first page of this week's Sunday Guardian. I couldn't get a link on the web.

I have been trying to use Google to get the information. No luck so far! We will need to contact someone who lives in Uyo.

So what does your dad do in Nigeria?

Related to the Internet-speed-in-Nigeria issue:

I would love to fry you in a game of Halo 2 or Half-Life on Xbox live(), but I doubt that is is possible to enjoy real-time gameplay over a VSAT link. Almost every Iternet connection in Nigeria eventually goes through VSAT. VSAT ping times fall between 0.55s and 1.2s! I don't think it's likely that anyone in Nigeria uses Xbox Live

Hunter, I'll help you look into this issue.

To access the Internet, I use the Internet service provided by a '[I]Fixed Wireless[/i]' phone operator (Multilinks). It's probably much better than a land-line modem but there's nothing you can do about the satellite delay problem.

I get a speed of up to 8 kilobytes/second

Attention Dog Breeders: Please make sure to post to this forum if you're a dog breeder. Or if you own a female pure-bred Alsatian, Rottweiler or other breed. Be sure to take a look at this 'dog wanted' ad. Do you have cute pictures of your dog? Let's see them!

Hello Armani,

Welcome to Nairaland. I hope you find what you're looking for soon enough! In the event that

An Alsatian (aka German Shepherd):
"Well-bred Alsatians have powerful jaws and strong teeth, can develop a strong sense of loyalty and obedience, and can be trained to attack and release on command."
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/38/250px-GermanShep1_wb.jpg

A Rottweiler ('gentle but dangerous'):
"Rottie is not usually a barker: he is a silent watcher who notices everything. Before attacking, he tends to go very still, and there is no warning growl"
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/84/Rottweiler1.jpg

If you can't find a breeder through the Internet, I think there are some places in Lagos where Alsatians for sale are displayed along the roads. We should be able to link you with those people.

Engagement
3: a mutual promise to marry (syn: betrothal, troth)
Source: dictionary.com

The above definition is exactly what I mean by engagement. It means '[color=#000077]I will marry you[/color]'. It means '[color=#000077]be my wife[/color]'.

(no, not necessarily [I]you[/I] ... )

Eolutosin, I would gladly make you the PR rep for Nairaland! This is a solid ad for Glo Premium. Keep it up!

(Ok, I know you don't actually work for Glo. Just kidding ;-))

Welcome to Nairaland, the Nigerian Forum.

I agree with the idea of commitment, but I inisist that if the guy is not engaged to the girl their "commitment" is not to be taken seriously. Such commitment is not real. What you are saying in essence is that 'I reserve the right to dump you if I find someone else who is more suitable'. What sort of commitment is that?

I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned birth control as an option. (perhaps we see marriage primarily as a way to get children). If two sickle cell carriers decide to get married then maybe they should just make up their minds to adopt. The "love, love, love" that is there today and gone tommorrow is probably not worth the potential pain

Well the fact that I have zero experience with relationships won't keep me from sharing my opinion!

[I]How do you know when a guy is only having you on?[/I]
He asks you to marry him.

[I]How do you convey to a suitor that you also like him without appearing too forward or 'cheap'?[/I]
You mean you can't just tell him

Women!

Ra, it is a well known fact that men lie and pretend a lot when trying to woo women. the fact that women keep falling for it means maybe they have fundamental issues!

But the fact remains that the average woman would not accept the average man for just being himself. The average guy knows that he can improve his chances by wooing you with behaviours that are not really part of who he is! Like maybe helping you with housework

Women demand to be lied to and that is what they get! Oops, we're supposed to be talking about our first dates ...

Solo2, thanks for pointing this out.

The banned drugs are:
»- Paracetamol tablets and syrups.
»- Cotrimoxazole tablets and syrups.
»- Metronidazole tablets and syrups.
»- Sulphadoxine Pyrimethamine tablets
»- Chloroquine tablets and syrups
»- Heamatinic tablets (such as ferrous sulphate and ferrous gluconate and folic acid tablets)
»- Vitamin B complex tablets (except modified release formulations)
»- Multivitamin Tablets, capsules and syrups (except special formulations)
»- Aspirin tablets (except modified release formulations and soluble aspirin)
»- Magnesium Trisilicate tablets and suspensions.
»- Piperazine tablets and syrups.
»- Levamisole tablets and syrups.
»- Clotrimazole cream
»- Ampicillin/Cloxacillin combinations.
»- Ointment-penicilin/gentamycin
»- Intravenous Fluid (dextrose, normal saline)
»- Pyrantel Pamoate tablets and syrups
»- Disinfectants and Germicides.

So should these drugs have been banned? please invite doctors and pharmacists to the forum so they can give us more informed opinion!

Delarontus, diakim says his two nieces like the advert! They are not living outside Nigeria! So I don't think it's right to assume that only those living in temperate regions of the world can appreciate the ad!

However, as the administrator, I maintain that dominant point of view on Nairaland must be that of Nigerians living in Nigeria. That's part of our unique value proposition.

kodewrita: In my own case, I am a lapsed catholic

Kodewrita, I think you're trying to say that you're a 'backslider'!

Women. Today they love you. Tommorrow they 'realise' that they have never really loved you, so sorry the relationship is off and there's a new guy ...

So to answer kodewrita's question. I was probably my first date's 999th date. And she probably didn't consider it a date, or maybe she did but won't tell me, who knows?

Women!

Hello Blendz,

To embed the Google search engine on your personal website, just visit http://services.google.com/cobrand/free_select

Select 'Customizable Google Free WebSearch', and fill the resulting forms according to your requirements.

The code I got looked like this:

<!-- Search Google -->
<center>
<FORM method=GET action=http://www.google.com/custom>
<TABLE bgcolor=#FFFFFF cellspacing=0 border=0>
<tr valign=top><td>
<A HREF=http://www.google.com/search>
<IMG SRC=http://www.google.com/logos/Logo_40wht.gif border=0 ALT=Google align=middle></A>
</td>
<td>
<INPUT TYPE=text name=q size=31 maxlength=255 value="">
<INPUT type=submit name=sa VALUE="Google Search">

</td></tr></TABLE>
</FORM>
</center>
<!-- Search Google -->

All you need to do is embed this html code into your website! Please update this thread with information about your progress.

Actually, the Internet does not run on real-time either! It also also uses packets. That is why sometimes it's difficult to get decent Voice over IP performance on the Internet.

A GSM phone (or wired telephone) has to allocate a dedicated data channel for each call. Or else the voice quality would be as poor as VoIP on our crowded VSAT networks!

Actually, he posted it on a new topic which I had to merge with this one.

I guess I have to answer myself!

From the Wikipedia:
"Packet-switched data under GPRS is achieved by allocating unused cell bandwidth to transmit data. As dedicated voice (or data) channels are setup by phones, the bandwidth available for packet switched data shrinks. A consequence of this is that packet switched data has a poor bit rate in busy cells. The theoretical limit for packet switched data is approx. 170 kbit/s. A realistic bit rate is 30-70 kbit/s.

And for more about 'EDGE' that AYA has been talking about on Mobile Nigeria:
"A change to the radio part of GPRS called EDGE allows higher bit rates of between 20 and 200 kbit/s. The maximum data rates are achieved only by allocation of more than one time slot in the TDMA frame. Also, the higher the data rate, the lower the error correction capability. Generally, the connection speed drops logarithmically with distance from the base station. This is not an issue in heavily populated areas with high cell density, but may become an issue in sparsely populated/rural areas."

So GPRS is not actually faster than GSM. But it uses the available bandwidth more efficiently by dividing data into 'packets' and using all the bandwidth available to it as a given time.

B-)