₦airaland Forum

My bad. I should have asked for the beginning of the book. The first chapter. Excerpts from any other part of the book can't be understod in isolation!

99.9% of the story I've posted so far is not my work. The author is Atala Talata Wala. Next chapter coming very soon. Sorry about the delay.

1. Is it a novel or a play?
It's a story about kate and Godwin

2. Who are the characters? We don't know them. history?
All we know about Kate and Godwin comes from the story.

3. Setting? Godwin's room and the local store?
The 1st scene was in Kate's house, the 2nd at a shopping complex, 3rd a clothing store, 4th a computer store.

4. Started kind of abruptly, no preamble. What is the main gist of the story? Just a boyfriend and girlfriend having a typical argument?
Yeah. It's about the life of Kate and Godwin.

Kate: Goddy, sorry for the delay, I saw this dress and I,

Godwin: Sorry Kate, I'm in the middle of sorting something out
in a computer shop so I can't talk right now. I'll speak to you later.
(He cuts the line, and turns back to the shop assistant, who he
notices has used the opportunity to surreptitiously dial his own
phone and whisper something into it.)

Godwin: So who is that you are calling? Your manager? Yes, call him -
I will tell him what a lazy, hopeless assistant he's saddled himself
with. You will lucky to still be with a job when I finish with you!

(Godwin rages some more, then suddenly, two very big men barge into the
shop and stand in the doorway. The shop assistant jumps up excitedly.)

Shop assistant: Yes, that's the man I was telling you about who was
trying to take a CD without paying.

Godwin (in shock): Hold on, what's going on here?

First Man: Mister Man, you think you are smart! We have people like you
always coming in here and stealing things.

Godwin: No-o, that's a lie! I did not pick up anything,

Second Man: Look, we don't have time for your stories. Just pay for
what you took now-now.

Godwin: I cannot pay, because as I keep on telling you I didn't take
anything!

First Man: OK, enough talking. Now we will show you that we mean
business. (They advance on Godwin, who begins to back away.)
----
Alas, this is the end of the story, for today. When should I post the next installment?

Godwin: Ol' boy, I'm worried about these your, er, meditations o!
Anyway, I just want you to know I'm going. I don't want you to think
I've taken anything from your shop, that's why I'm letting you know
now.

Shop assistant: What are you talking about? What about that CD that you
were asking about when you came in the shop?

Godwin (taken aback): CD? Which CD? Are you sure you're not confusing
me for someone else?

Shop assistant: What are you talking about? It was definitely you!

Godwin (irritated): No it wasn't! If you had managed to stay awake
while I was here instead of snoring your head off like a faulty
generator, you would have been able to see so.

Shop assistant (curtly): My friend, I cannot allow you to leave the
shop unless you pay for that CD.

Godwin (angrily): Look, there's no CD on my person! (Spreads his arms
out.) Do you see any place I could have hidden it?

Shop assistant: I don't know - maybe that friend of yours that you
were here with has carried it out of the shop already.

Godwin (really angry now and shouting): Are you smoking something or
what? Which friend? Man, you are absolutely the most USELESS,
INCOMPETENT shop assistant I have EVER come across in my entire life!
You really need your head examined, I tell you!!

(While Godwin is ranting and raving, his phone rings. He picks it up
- it is Kate on the line.)

Kate: Goddy, sorry for the delay, I saw this dress and I,
----

Do you want still want more, more, more?

(Forty five minutes later, and Godwin is wandering about the shopping
centre with a miserable look on his face.)

Godwin (grumbling to himself): I knew this girl would take this long.
And I haven't been able to see anything interesting in this useless
shopping centre. Just fashion and gift stores - and the few
electronics stores only have a pitiful selection of goods. (Suddenly,
he stops and his expression changes to one of interest.) Hm,
"Computastic Ltd - stockists in all kinds of computer hardware and
software", that looks promising - I think I'll pop in and take a
look. (He walks in the store and notices that the shop assistant has
his head on the counter and is fast asleep, snoring.)

Godwin: Hello? Hello? (raising his voice) HELLOOOO!?!?

(The shop assistant continues to snore. Godwin reaches out and gently
taps him. The shop assistant reacts violently, jumping up from his seat
and waving his arms about.)

Shop assistant (shouting): What? Where? When did you go there? Who told
you that?

Godwin: Hey, cool down! Sorry for interrupting your dream, but I'm
interested in looking around your shop, and I wanted you to be awake
while I was doing so.

Shop assistant (rudely): Eh, you didn't have to hit me on the back to
attract my attention.

Godwin (astonished, thinking to himself): Attract his attention? What
attention was there to attract? (To the assistant) I'm sorry I
disturbed your, er, deep thoughts, but I would like to ask you some
questions while looking around, if that's OK with you.

Shop assistant: (grumpily): Fine. (He settles his head down on the
counter again, and a few seconds later Godwin hears gentle snoring
which gets progressively louder and noisier.)

Godwin (thinking to himself): Perhaps this shop is so poorly patronised
that this guy has realised that he might as well do a paying job by
night and come over here and catch up on some sleep during the day. (He
wanders around the shop.) And no wonder it's poorly patronised too!
Look at that, the most recent version of Windows they have is Windows
95, and it's obviously a pirated copy! And I don't know who is going
to buy a 14 inch monochrome monitor which seems to be held together
with sellotape! Oh well, I don't think there's any point in staying
around any longer.

(Godwin approaches the shop assistant who is snoring merrily away. He
stands well back, reaches out cautiously and gives the lightest of taps
on the assistant's shoulder. The reaction from the assistant is even
more violent than before - this time he leaps up, seizes a pole
underneath his table and brandishes it about while looking wild-eyed
around the shop.)

Shop assistant: What? How did he do it? Where is he now? When is he
coming?

Godwin: Ol' boy, I'm worried about these your, er, meditations o!
Anyway, I just want you to know I'm going. I don't want you to think
I've taken anything from your shop, that's why I'm letting you know
now.

Shop assistant: What are you talking about? What about that CD that you
were asking about when you ,

Still boring, or do you want more?