₦airaland Forum

hisgrace090:
So you've not been tired of people deserting your post?

Why not try posting your findings here instead of directing people elsewhere?

barikay:
Attend 5 Night of Glory. Salvation Ministry 21st to 25 January 2019. Search for a satellite/viewing centre in your state. Or come to 17 Birabi Street, GRA phase 1, Portharcourt. Don't ignore this information. Only God that created you can heal u.

madone:
OK next time look out for people in public and help them how can u be there eating and a girl like tat is looking a ur family you no even notice. Selfish looking family

SAMBARRY:
She should sue the useless family for false accusations and libel.so many African families are so animalistic. So because a family member died,his girlfriend has to go in for it.im sure its those kinds of depraved families that will tell her to marry her husbands younger brother even if he's married or they'll tell her to drink the water used in washing the corpse of the husband. Barbaric irrotational and irritating family

O have said it before women know the type of family a man has before saying yes to him.many families aren't what they appear to be on introduction and traditional wedding

GoTV:
Even though I'm a born again Christian, i think Muslims are been marginalized and their rights are trampled upon in most Southern schools. We Christians should better realize that Nigeria is a secular country dominated by Muslims wether we like it or not. Most schools pray the Christian way without considering the faith of Muslims and yet we Christians still refuse to let Muslims wear an harmless Hijab I hope Muric and other Muslim groups reject this open hypocrisy of we Christians

GoTV:
These are the reasons why sometimes I'm ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian. We Christians are way ward and our ways of life is tarnishing the image of Christ.

TV01:
Hi SLVFO, good evening, please allow me to say a few words.

the short answer to your question is Yes! It's also no! There is no playbook or necessarily a template. Every relationship is unique and subject to it's own particulars. Ask yourself, what are those of this relationship?

Funny how politics, religion, and discourse generally, tends to take positions of extremity or polarity these days? Some have said a resounding no and explained why, others an emphatic yes, and give their reasons.

Someone said age is a factor. No it is not. It's maturity, it's vision, it's the wherewithal to think long-term and understand the realities of what is important for a flourishing relationship and satisfying life well lived. If one understands that at 20, they are good to go, if they don't at 40, then halt proceedings immediately.

As a rule, I always counsel a decent age gap for men over their wives. I have 10+ years over my wife, and as it so happens, my wife's younger sisters husband is older than me. The gap between them is 17 years in fact and, in as much as I can vouch, they are doing just fine.

I have someone else close to me who married in his mid thirties to a someone a few years younger - they didn't make it past the 1 year mark. Don't listen to those saying "marry your mate". A post like this will always trigger the older, desperately seeking female who suddenly realises what she is up against - it's good you brought this here, but be discerning who you take counsel from.

If she has been well oriented by her family, upbringing and experience, is past the risky "flighty" stage, or will not/never, as some don't, go through it, and you can match that with the requisite qualities of your own, it's a match.

Just the two words of caution. One is patience, you will possibly still have to give her room to blossom in some ways. Well oriented and mature enough for marriage she may be, but she may need additional space and time to explore grow and adapt in some respects. The only advice my BIL gives to intending couples is for the husband to have patience.

The other is health and fitness. You, if you have taken care of yourself, will be just about at or coming off your physical peak. To ensure you prolong the enjoyment of the physical aspects, and not leave her nursing you when she is just about at, or coming off hers, you need to put the effort into maintaining optimal physical vigour and well-being. Like seriously.

Some of those yahoo-yahoo, slay-queen tales are quite disturbing, To forestall any possibility of that, if you believe, honour The Lord in your search for a spouse. I can corroborate the stories to a degree, and it was The Lord who delivered me and set me aright. I personally wouldn't take my own advice without that foundation

I wish you all the best. You sound like a great guy. Humble and mature. Someone who would make a terrific husband.


Regards
TV

CanadianNaija:
A 20 years old is not in your generation, almost twice removed.
Do whatever you want anyway, you seem to have an answer for everything.

I just wonder how an old man like you almost 40 couldn’t find himself a wife, it’s a desperate small girl that hasn’t lived her life that you want to go and tie down.

I’m done with this topic.

CanadianNaija:
Yul didn’t marry a 5 years old.

CanadianNaija:
Her parents should be ashamed of themselves, I’m sure they are hungry people looking to shirk their responsibilities.

Else, why would it even be a conversation they can have, where they consider giving their child to an old man like you.
If she was done with school and it’s her choice, that’s even another conversation. That is is willing now doesn’t mean she isn’t doing it to get away from home.

I really hate poverty.., and Op please don’t lie that her parents are well to do, because if they were, fear won’t even allow you approach them with this kind of talk.

Clarathomp:
They say ''Like fine wine, men get better with age.'' I find this to be true even for women (I'm speaking exclusively for myself while assuming this is the case with most of my gender too)

My point? I like the older me better than the younger me. I mentally cringe at how naive, younger me was and I really wish life occurred in a way that the wisdom we attain at an older age (about different things) could come/happen faster at a younger age, to save us the misery we cause ourselves as youths.

I hope I made sense to you, with that preceding paragraph. At 20, I don't think I was well informed or well suited for marriage in any way. I lacked patience, easily quit things that frustrated me, was indecisive, quick to anger, could hold a grudge and the list goes on. But I considered myself mature and some folks may say I was mature for my age in certain aspects, like the way I spoke and related with people (I was cultured & well mannered) but all my other issues didn't show on the outside .

I'm not sure that what I was like at 20, is any different from what most 20 year olds are like today (I may be wrong but I seriously doubt it) because life happens in stages/phases. You do not escape being a teenager with all the usual tantrums and self esteem issues. The same way you do not escape being an inexperienced young adult bound to make silly mistakes. In a nutshell we do not jump straight from being babies to being well adjusted adults, capable of tackling life's issues. We will all pass through the stages/phases of life.

I don't mind the age difference because personally I like my men older than me BUT can you, really handle a young wife? We are talking marriage not dating abi? In marriage, there is extended family, bills to be paid, investments to be made, budgeting & serious planning to avoid financial strain & borrowing, bad days and good days, etc

Women are hardly educated about these things. Nobody tells us that there's more to being married and staying married beyond the traditional/white ceremony. So we often go into it, ill prepared for the reality . I think even men go into it, ill prepared too. A younger woman may be frustrating to deal with (if she is anything like me, when I was 20) and it may require you making heroic efforts over and over again to maintain a peaceful home. You go fit?

The parents may be willing to let her go because it may mean, one less responsibility for them to worry about.

okoroemeka:
pics will come of 1000 stands 35 day old cuke we planted in sacks,we will compare the yield between sack and planting on soil direct,these Thai guys are claiming that their variety can yield 10 to 15 even 20 fruits,hmmm!well we shall put them to test and bust this myths .

Zoharariel:
Baba, the OP is even a small boy. With my age, the girl I am planning to impregnate na 16 (highest 17 years old).

It is not about having the confidence to approach people in my age group or not.

Yahoo Boys & Ritualists have finished all the women in my younger brother's age group, not to talk of women in my own age group.

I was at Ijebu the last weekend and na so dem tell me say a married man was caught recently & beaten to pulp before he confessed.

The guy went to an herbalist at Ago Iwoye to look for a shortcut to wealth and he was given a ring.

The ring was meant to hypnotize any woman he touches until he sleeps with them & then all their virtues will automatically be transferred spiritually to the guy.

Now, listen carefully. The guy confessed that he went to 911 (a very popular bar in Ijebu-ode where myself & friends go to drink too) and all the women (Olosho) he touched with that ring have already been used by other Yahoo boys & ritualists.

He went to another bar and all the olosho there too have been used.

He now became skeptical of the ring - thinking maybe the Babalawo gave him a sakamanje

Na so the guy enter house & touched his wife (who had just given birth) with the ring and it worked.

Omo, na so the wife start to dey sick & shrink until her people asked her and she told them her sickness began the night her husband touched her.

They started beating the husband until he confessed.

Baba, dem talk say all the girls wey dey TASUED, Yahoo Boys don use all of them finish. Even Unilag, Laspotech & LASU female hustlers (Oloshos) are not left out.

As I dey so, if my 16 or 17 year old babe no gree for me on time, Omo last last, na 12 or 13 year old girl I go go impregnate.

Highest, the court will settle it for us by pronouncing us husband & wife.

I really pity guys wey still dey carry Olosho - I swear!

ednut1:
A 37 year old man . Omo ur caae is different. Naso u go do till u reach 45

Nobodys:
What consequence please.?

CanadianNaija:
I guess you're looking for someone malleable that you can control, if not why don't you have the confidence to approach people in your age group?



You'll marry her now and stifle her, then when she acts her age as a young woman that should be discovering herself you will now come and write stories that touch.

Na you know.

Okeytus:
thats where you need to innovate your products , besides there is an unsatisfying demand for lundry soaps.