₦airaland Forum

fruityjojo:
Dumb joke!

dumb sense of humor..no wonder!

[quote author=julibaba post=38884893][/quote]were do u stay.am at kaduna

rastamouse:
Thanks. I currently don't have poults for sale.

i tot u r incubating turkey eggs, wil u raise al wen day hatch

rastamouse:
Can any please show me how to embed YouTube video here?

where do u stay,i may be interested in picking some turkey poults

just open n play your youtube video ,dn copy and paste d link directly here.

fruityjojo:
Me too. I am Esan buh I can't ever marry a benin guy! Majority of them are wicked, promiscuous and local!
I have dated one before and he used police to arrest me when I called the relationship off!

frutyjojo so u came to nairaland to say our story,ok tel nairalandas d real reason i brot in d cops.
Mtchew,
u tink u wud walk away with my EOD...
#story4dgods#

Harbioollah:
500L MCB
Tales by moonlight

maybe dir skool microbiology reach 5yrs na. Mus u katch him in broadday lyt ehn.

lilmax:
if the man's salary can comfortably take care of the family without stress then the wife should resign

If not, the husband should resign

what kind of ansa is dis?
Bro so asumin ,u d man,
u wil alow ego rule u,n let ur wife resign?
Hmmm na wa o.

I know its a fiction,but if am in d mans shoe,n dir is a dire need 4 1person to resign,
dn i wud gladly resign witout a flinch.
2gda we wil plan a bisnes wit her income y i stay at home.
Howeva r d children all d same age e.g 8 octuplets at 8months old ehn,

AwesomelyMade:
Ok I have known her for sometime now. I met her on my way to work, we got talking and exchanged contacts. She calls to find out if I have eaten, and I am like 'yes'. '

What did you eat' I ate rice. This she tries to find out everyday until she asked to see and taste the rice I prepared at home.

I understood she was looking for a way to visit. Finally she visited, didn't want hear anything about work or even the rice she wanted to see, but to watch some stuff on my laptop. She calls me to sit beside her. I did! She chuckles and places head on my shoulder, I tried to offer her something but she refuses. I observed that she drew closer at each chuckle

Before I could say jack robinson, she was all touchy and started kissing. I wish I could upload the pix of my mouth, she bit my lips and apologized. Why i asked?

She said she couldn't control herself. She literally asked me to have sex with her and I refused on the grounds I just can't.

'I am a woman for crying out loud' she pleaded, 'please do it'.

'No I can't' I told her.
She gets angry and leaves. I really don't know what to do now.

bros if u write novel,e no go sweet at al o.
1st person narative is teribli borin?
Shes mad at u bkos u made her feel unatractive

mickeyIso:
I had about four one month old poults.Two died today.dunno if the mom stepped on them.what do i do with the remaining two

i call turkeys beautiful olodos,
neva,i repeat ,neva leave the poults with dir moda.
Afta d 1st day of hatchn,

begin ur separation.

Get a big carton,
place d ff in it,
a lamp,
d feed tray,
and 2 broilers(small 3day old or less dan 10day old )

dis is bkos d poults are amazingly dumb,dat dey may starve to death,cos dey dnt know how to eat.

Den ur wata bowl shud b extremely flat,

my poults drownd demslvs bkos i shouted at dem(hope u dnt tnk am joking here,i floggd a poult,and d nxt mrn,i found it drownd itslf,i floggd anoda and it did d same)

feeding:
shud b with broiler starters,

in all,my dear,
poults nid d utmost care,love,and affectn in d 1st 2months of dir lives.

Hmmm,
i mis raisin turkeys.

I intend to raise 500 turkeys,during my house job

Okybty:
Pls does anyone know when ABUTH Zaria takes house Officer? Thanks

get ur bags ready, d list wud b out insha Allah dis week

firstEVA:
Gflat, the man with unending woman palava

hahahahaha,
my dear abeg help me tel am o,
chai!
Electronic media av helped a lot of real-life slow pokes

wasak:
We started dating in 2011 after a year of asking her out. I just love her naturally not for anything. Admittedly, her stubbornness might be partly due to my over pampering at the initial stage of our relationship, I was naive but I think 4 years is actually a long time for the love to be balanced. At every point in time she claims she loves me more, but no evidence whatsoever to show for it. I don't want to venture into crazy things I've done for her, that's a story for another day.
It appears she takes delight in frustrating me due to my simple nature, actually I can be stubborn too, but not with regards to relationship because I believe it's all about compromise. She's inconsiderate and selfish, always wants to have her way at all time even though I have to sacrifice my convenience for her umpteen times. I'm scared of settling down with a woman who'll finally kill me, I love her no doubt. But it appears love is not enough. Someone talk to me pls

sex wil humble her,
gud sex wil humble her d more
constant gud sex wil cement her humility.

Bro if sum1 taste her b4 u,wit ur slownes,
d relatnsip is ova ok.

I know its a hard bad advice,
but if u rili want dis relatnshp ,go f.uck dat gal,
her virgnity is a major coz,
plus send me a pm...i wil gv u sum badass tip7 ok

NobleAky:
That is the problem...I know one man for the car battery that the prefect refused to write the names of the noise makers. Bimpi is a love and tootpick and Buhari is a ministerial petroleum and he released ontop of her

y am i just seeing schizophrenic writeups today?

EgusiSoup:
So if Oliseh that Buhari Yahoo this fairy of the Egusi not in seriously discrimination what Saul said to her?

plz commenters online,is dis comment 4 real,was it a mistake,or a sarcastic writeup?
Cos if its 4 real,dis is a schizophrenic symptom o,
i hope its eida typo,or na joke

kay29000:
So freaking true. That;s why Linda is richer than seun, even though Nairaland gets way more traffic than her blog.

dis is the single reason i will ensure i become a multibillionaire b4 i ever send any1 else again in my life.

Seun leaves his door open 4 any Nigerian to open a thread n start making money,
i was a non believer,until i started getting orders frm nairaland,
kai,
God bles u Seun,

How much wil u make by reading blog posts on linda ikejis blog,
shes making all d money alone ,and u guys are applauding her?

Can i advatise 4 free on lindas blog...mtchew

humans

#I WONT BCUM A BAD PERSON BCUS OF HUMANITY#

Oga seun,
on behalf,of dose of us dat av at list benefitd smal frm nairaland,

i applaud u sir.
More powa to ur elbow

dowjones:
Nairaland has not tapped 2% of its potential.

only a mediocre will tag Seun osewa an award winning techpreneur cos I've not seen anything special he has done or is doing.

Call me a hater. But this is the truth.

....uncle,if nairaland hasnt tappd 2pcnt of its potential,
dn kindly contact oga seun,and drop ur ideas,
if u raise ideas dat wud add up 48pcnt to nairalands income,

honestly oga seun wud hand over d ownership of nairaland to u,or at least u wud bkum a 50pcnt partner.


Wat u saying is just like 1 iranu oshi statement dat pipu use to make"humans use just 10pcnt of dir brain capacity"

wen just 1week of intense brain activity,and i wil be chopping tramadol 500mg like popcorn

hmmmm
oga seun,
ma binu jor,
u didnt just do a 1daful tin,
ur achievement is an Eclipse.

Airforce1:
Before 1st photo

After second photo
I like my slim nature .. I need trim down.. But don't know how[/b]

#spits on op# #tear op a dirty slap# op no vex o,i just dey practice how to e-insult as i dey see 4 nairaland o

dozmandon:
U never see cheat? which planet u dey? haven't u heard of mtn 150mb for 20naira daily? dey there dey dash dem 100naira

bros abeg how dem day do dis 1 na

OduntanGabriel:
No matter how much we hate them, we will
surely miss them. Nairaland is a platform where
we have different types of people coming to
share, agree, disagree, derail some topics. Most of
these people made this place a better site to visit
often and now let me take you back to the
memory lane and remember some people who
made this plaCe interesting but seems to have
gone on an exile.
1) The GARRI Dealers : These people have
nothing meaningful to talk about except issues
concerning garri, they will open a thread to ask us
the price of Garri in the market, or sometimes
wanting to know how a certain post affects the
price of Garri in the market. (how does this affects
the price of garri in the market ). it's been a while
we see them and I think some of us miss them
because they put smiles on our faces with different
jokes they make out of garri issues. (They might
come back to ask me how my post affects the price
of garri in the market )
2) The Just Passing Bye Crew : We can call them
the trekkers also, they move from one post to
another just to let us know they were passing bye.
These sets of people are never serious with any
serious post on nairaland. if you are very observant,
you will notice that, they could write "just passing
bye "on over 15 front page threads
daily. wherever they are now, I hope and believe
they have gotten to their final destinations.
3) The French Men : Just early this year they
were very active here on Nairaland. They were
our brothers who live in Nigeria but usually claim
to be from France. we don't do this in France, I
have never heard of that in France etc. Those were
their comments. I wish them well in France or
wherever they claim to be.
4)America Will Know : I don't need to tell us the
founder of this great statement but to God be the
glory, she had many children here on nairaland
who always write on people's post how
Americans will know everything about us. Seems
America has stopped knowing and that Is why we
haven't seen them for a while.
5)Thunder doing Press Up Team : whenever these
people come online, they are here for a fight,
telling their fellow nairalander how the thunder
that would fire him or her is still doing Press up.
Maybe due to ban or their thunder might have
fired them after the press up, that is why they
have been missing.
6) Oga At The Top : Chai, the man really hear am
for this place, every post that needed an urgent
response could not be answered to because those
that commented on it would claim that only their
oga at the top is answerable to the question
asked. yeye people. The rest is history now.
7)Diaris God Team : We all know there is God,yet
they come on nairaland to derail people's post all
because you want to mimick our former mama (I
didn't mention name ooo, it could be NCCF
mama ) wherever these people are,i want you to
know that Chai, diaris God oooooo.
8]Commentary reserving Teams : Instead of
reserving their comments, they will tell us "i
comment my reserve " yet there is nothing notable
to read from
them. If u were part of this team, I comment my
reserve for you.
9)End Time Things : Do I need to remind you about these people, they tell us every news on nairaland is a sign of end time. I think you are aware that this post itself is a sign of End time.
10)The Tecno Ambassadors : There was a time
every post about tecno hits front page, if u like
write,! how to remove your tecno battery " it will
hit front page and also generate Lot of
disagreement from nairalanders. Every comments
made about Tecno generates lot of Likes those
days . where are these ambassadors? Are they in
China? The tecno, Samsung, blackberry
ambassadors... I hail thee! how market?
notable mentions to the omo oniles(land owners )
I couldn't write on them because we still have
them, seems they have come to stay because
there is an upgrade to their name now, u can call
them the introverts.... #stealing is not corruption
,#I was here ,pin mouth charger crew etc
Fellow Nairalanders, I have tried, abeg add yours
to remind us of our long forgotten friends who
were once here .
Mods : I really do not know where this thread is supposed to be posted, kindly accept my apology for putting it here. it might actually be a sign of end time...... lalasticlala Seun

#grabs popcorn#
#spreads mat#
reads post

boring
#adonbelivit#
#spits on post
##spits on op#
#runs of th

adepaki:
1)Any form of gambling,sport bets,baba ijebu or whatever name it is called will leave you poor and frustrated for the rest of your life.

2)Renting expensive apartments:its sad how a person with a salary of 150k will want to live in lekki paying an outrageous sumof money as rent just to belong.

3)Expensive phones:running to buy every new phone iphone6+ of 220k when you don't own a land anywhere,that's stupidity

4)Online shopping:just to say I bought it online you enter your card details on every shopping website in Nigeria.

add yours if you wish

bro i undastand ur point o,and dats 4 average guys abi,
sum pipu r just waiting 4 dir parents 2 drop dead n inherit millions,

i know a guy who earns ova 200k and rides a car worth 5mil...

Ma broda may God help us?

damton:
True talk. but making money from just snapping pinshure and working the runway could be a very good feeling

yeah i know o,bt i rada b d don paying d person snapping d pix,

i rada own d busines payin 4 d endorsment

i rada b d Boss ,dan d boy with a face on d bus...

Friend its way cooler bin d MONEY BAG

mtchew,
just 1 nyash,
we wen folo nyash,com add plenty plenty busines,n cum b fyn boi,n cum day study medicine nkor,
#spits on d ikebe#
ur friend b 3rd klas material,d nyash na just him excuse

say booo to #teamolodo#


#team-intelligentias#

damton:
celebrity is the best job now. Don't know if there are vacancies

celebrities get a large chunk of money frm endorsements,

business men grant dem d endorsements,

hahaha,
it simply means dat owning a business is still d most lucrative tin in d world...

BabaNath:
Did you skip the part where I wrote the word 'some'? Isn't my statement conditional? FYI, I am not poor and can never be.

God 4bid dat u r poor,
am just saying,its nt true dat d poor r happy n som rich folks unhappy,

BabaNath:
So far they are happy using this, they are better than some of the rich who can afford anything but happiness

who told u,d rich are nt happy?
D analogys nt cool ok,

if dat fone fall off dat rake,dats wen u wil know a selfie stik is unda 2k.

#the rich are as happy as d poor, and d poor can be as unhappy as the rich#

infact d rich are alot happier dan d poor?
Constant lyt
gud fud
internet conect
no skool fees wahala
gud house
gud medika care
bta housing,

common,

who eva tot up dis mentality dat d poor are happier dan d rich, was just scamming d poor,

if u doubt me,go to a slum.....n listen carefully

dn go to a Gra,or a highclass estate??

human problms still remain d same,howeva i beta b in wealth,n b unhappy,
dan bin poor n stil b unhapy

abokinamu:
Will send it to you on whatsapp or on telegram add me its free

heres my watsap num 08063152970

wellmax:
I'm not trying to take a vibe on Northerners. I was born and bred in the North, lived in the East but presently working in the SW. Everywhere I go they constitute over 80% of beggars and most of them with one form of deformity/handicap or the other. Like I said, I do respect and love the Northerners.

am frm edo state,grew up in lagos,n currently work in d north,and am saying u put our lives at risk,
by making such derogatory statement on a public forum ok,

imagine saying,
all igbos r drug pushers
all edo gals r italian harlots
all tiv gals r domestic hoes
all yoruba gals r loose
all edo boys r womanizers
all katsina youths take codeine
all yorubas r cowards??

Now wont u incite d whole of Nigeria??

#SAY NO TO TRIBALISM #

wellmax:
Wonderful!!! The power of knowledge.

Come to think of it, illiteracy is the major cause of problems in Nigeria, medical or otherwise. Have you ever wondered (with due respect) why Northern Nigeria has more people with deformities and abnormalities. Illiteracy is the major cause.

chai,
see stereotyping n generalization,

how do u know dat d north hav more d4mitys n abnormalities?

Its bkos of tins lyk dis,northerners hate southerners with an undying hatred

bigmill:
You are very lucky, but why didn't any of the doctors or nurses think of asking questions before commencing treatment. Why were they not aware of the negative effects of adding Soybean to infants food? Anyways, thank God He saved your family from being a victim of poor medical infrastructure in the country.

Remenber d Doctor is also human,he kant remenber everything,
and most likely d parents misd dat out wen givin d history(op hope am ryt)

any smat doctor wud conect d line if u gv d history of introducn a new food b4 onset of seizures

plus she said its a new research ok,
tank God she found d cause


and remenba,
a chemist certified dat formula
a food scientist aprovd it
a nutritionist endorsed it
and even nafdac aprovd it,

but now d Doctor bears d brunt 4 nt knowing,dat a new research,av found dat soybeans aint gud 4 babies
chai,
diaris God