₦airaland Forum

MrHighSea:
I admire the first paragraph.

Jeez. Like interview. Nah. They're already judging.
Through thoughtful conversations, it's easy to see if you could fit into one's live.

exactly why I said such people na mumu, such guys in your own words are not thoughtful and very impatient as well to want to download over a decade of a person's life just like that .


Personal I don't mind being judged o, cos not be you hold gate of heaven. But you see it's this attitude of humans that has made people play them and show them the side they wish to see, as many people ask you questions but subconsciously wish you told them what they want to hear.

MrHighSea:
Lol

Not when ur past proofs ur perpetual poor decision making skill. Casual mindset (unseriousness). Indiscipline. These go for everyone.

No straight headed guy wants that.

Well I quite agree,same way I see guys with past tattoos or having a kid from two different women as a no no , even if you are now a Reverend.


But then again, I personally withdraw from guys who seem way too vested in knowing every single thing about your past. They will sit you down and begin to interview you,you can even see an imaginary pen and paper on their hands taking notes for future reference. .

Congrats to the lovely couple, may God make every crooked way in your marriage straight .

hisgrace090:
Your observation about his brother is right, 8 years is not 8 months.

the op's brother is the main problem.

I don't know why some people just unnecessarily compound issues, you can't make your wife's sisters behave ,then you can't do the obvious solution by letting your brother have his own place. This is annoying to say the least.



Hence forth ,start saving, I am not saying dupe your brother o,but guy use your head, save every penny you can lay your hands on, a good brother would have settled you to be on your own the moment he got married . 8 years is a long time to serve a master and not get settled, if by now your brother doesn't even want you to have your own place, I doubt he is interested in settling you to be on your own any time soon.

Nigerians will genuinely curse you but never genuinely bless you. They will go to every length to harness the negative energy of the universe just out of wickedness but will never even be willing to break an egg for the betterment of their community or even kids . .

I have always said this.I support Reno 100%

Duggedised12:
you talk too much ,chochochocho. You ended up affirming what she said but in a longer rant . na wah for you o.

my sister ,the matter tire me ,he just ran full 360 degree and ended up saying the same thing as I did. I don rest sef .

Martinez39s:
SMH. Who is a simp? You clearly don't know who a simp is.

Boys will be boys the same way a tiger will always be a tiger, what's your problem with that and how is that repressive?

I have heard of "real men don't cry," it follows from "real men are not emotional." It's repressive, but not in a toxic way. It just a discouragement of emotional incontinence in men. There are men who cry when their daughters are getting married, there is nothing wrong in that, but I can't do that and I don't see it as manly. Some men today would cry if they reconnect with their children after many years, but I will approach such situation with just a handshake. Emotions are not the problem, it is emotional incontinence. Personally, when a loved one dies (or something tragic happens), I will fondly remember them but I don't get depressed or sad at their death, or even cry, because death is part of life, anyone can die at any time, crying solves nothing, and I have to move on with my life. I don't even buy into tears of joy as a man, lmao. All these things are not toxic, men have to be tough, calm in heated situation, and calculative. These things start from the rough beginnings of mankind, men needed to be tough to survive.

The bolded is all I needed to hear , no need to reply you.

Martinez39s:
I knew you will say rubbish. Olodo rabata. By your definition, would you say a woman who wants female dominance (even over males) is exhibiting toxic femininity? Lmao.

Toxic masculinity is simply the feminist propaganda that certain inherent aspects of masculinity are toxic and oppressive to the feminine gender. The ridiculous notion of mansplaining is a classic example of toxic masculinity (as cited by radical and stùpid feminists). When a man interrupts a woman during an argument, feminists (as to whom it applies) thinks he is mansplaining the woman because he thinks he is superior and her opinions doesn't count. Funny enough, and conveniently so, there is somehow nothing like womansplaining and toxic femininity.

lol , I was expecting this , anyway in addition to that, toxic masculinity is thinking being a gentleman , being cultured , having empathy ,etc makes you a simp and a weakling , as masculinity views man as brutish , crude and hardened .


So let me ask you, are feminist the ones that invented the phrase "real men don't cry" , or feminist the ones that invented "boys will be boys" . These are repressive behaviors that men are made fit into lest the have their "manly card " revoked and labelled as "not man enough".

Martinez39s:
If you didn't conveniently ignore my "rants" and "epistles" (because they contained facts you didn't like), you would have seen where I wrote that the number of men who have been raped and sexually abused by women is something we will never know for obvious reasons.

What is toxic masculinity?

I specifically said "raped to death " because even if not here atleast since you have been mentioning global figure ,with their technology and all there should have been at least one case in first world countries where a man was raped to death by a woman. I am sure forensic DNA works on women too .

I know you like facts ,I want you to help us out ,go dig out atleast one case even if it's from America,I will wait.

Martinez39s:
Shut up woman! I was never centered on feminism, I was simply setting t00dùgged straight with facts. I was centred on rape, and the wrong notion that all men are rapists and rape is a flaw peculiar to the masculine gender. Funny how all my valid points in my "rants" and "epistles" were conveniently ignored by t00dugged, you, and others only for you and t00dugged to digress, misrepresent me, and turn the table on me.

t00dugged, what is toxic masculinity? Don't run o.

In simple and short terms , Toxic masculinity can be viewed as trying to carry out gender dominance.

Martinez39s:
As I said in my "rantings" and "epistles" (to borrow from pocohantas) which you conveniently ignored, male rape, since human history, has never been seen as something serious. Why spend time crafting a manual for something regarded as trivial and a subject for humour? It's only recently, compared to human history, that male rape is being spoken against, and that is done by a few men and women.

What is toxic masculinity?

Again I ask you how many men have been raped and killed by women ,since you have been born?

Martinez39s:
For the umpteenth time, stop referring to rapists as my brothers (if that's what you mean). I am not folding my hand, I just a practical person who only thinks about the solution. I don't have the childish mind of most women and moronic men that see social media outrage and drama as a step towards solving a problem. Social media rants solve nothing as far this issue is concerned. Bashing men on social media solves nothing. If you want to solve rape, focus on improving the rape laws of this country, upgrading our law enforcement agencies with forensic technology and techniques, and electing competent leaders that are devoted to tackling such issues. Females can take protective measures, as they have been doing, to avoid rape. Bashing all men and erroneously making rape to be a flaw peculiar to the masculine gender will only invite innocent men like myself to state the obvious fact that not all are rapists, female rapists exist, and such misandric generalisation is wrong. I hope pocohantas, cococandy, safarigirl, ishilove, lilmisfavvy, etc. can note this even though I know nothing can stop them from hating men. Finally, you can't stop male and female rape by talking to men and women just as you can't talk a lesbian into being straight, and you can't talk a psychopathic serial killer into stopping, it doesn't just work. Male and female rapists will continue to do their thing.

By the way, what is toxic masculinity?

The bolded ,how come only women have a manual written for them by society to stay safe from being raped ? If you say males getting raped are just as heinous ,how come for generations and centuries only women have this manual?

Martinez39s:
What is toxic masculinity? I am sure you can't even define it concisely.

Offpoint. How does this relate or follow from my argument? With or without feminism, women would be going to schools, it's was just a matter of time. Even in America, where the first feminists movement started, women were already going to schools in America and Europe.


We will never know how many cases of females raping males exists. In society, such cases aren't seen as "newsworthy" by most men and women. In fact, such cases hardly get reported for various reasons. Most men and women see the rape of females as egregious while most men and women don't see male rape as something that serious, and such cases might be received with great humour.

By the way, why do you disingenuously act as if male rape can only be between a grown man and a grown woman, and only through physical force? You do this because you, like your fellow feminists, want to dismiss male rape and see rape as a male flaw that affects women. What about the tons of cases of underaged boys being molested by their school teachers in the United States and other countries? Google.com can fish out tons of such cases for you, and you would notice that there is no such outrage as would have occurred if a man was having sex with an underaged female student. Apart from physical force, did you consider drugging, blackmail, and females ganging up on an helpless man? Apart from adult men, did you consider little boys being raped by aunts or female neighbour's? We will never know how many of such cases are unreported. Would you have ever known that certain men were drugged and taken advantage of by Cardi B if she didn't admit to such?

What about Brittany Spears (not such if it's her) that baited and kissed a boy on public TV without his consent? Imagine if genders were reversed. What about women that grab men's diçk in the club (there was such a case on nairaland, and people said the guy was taking it too far) Despite this, I don't go about calling all women rapists.

lmao. How foolish! This is why I said male bashing on an issue like this is unproductive. In your twisted mind, do you really think a rapist can change by being talked to? Trying to talk a rapist into changing is like trying to talk a heterosexual man into being gay, goodluck with that.

Among your other rantings ,I am more concerned about your submission , Oh is that the reason you and your brothers have decided to fold your hands and drail the thread?


If I am tagged as having twisted mind ,I wonder what terminology you will use for the rapists of Uwa ,but alas ,your bias will lot allow you use such strong terminology for them afterall it is childish and unproductive but using such terminology me is very productive for you ,I guess

Martinez39s:
All women are feminists to varying degrees. Radical feminism is female nature amplified and unrestrained. Feminists are of two kinds: the outspoken, and the pretenders. As proof, in all gynocentric western societies, all women (conservative or liberal, traditional or not, religious or not, etc) will either openly or secretly support the achievements of feminism (child support, alimony, child custody and other divorce laws, being believed when she accuses a man of rape, etc.). No women can oppose these things by their actions. At most, they may pretend they hate feminism and bash it, but they love, openly or secretly, gynocentrism and equitable patriarchy. The issue of gynocentrism, especially in marital laws and claims of rape/domestic abuse, is a topic they like to avoid.

I don't need to be a genius to know you are a feminist. Deny it.

Learn to read my post properly. I never said women are insensitive, I only said those that turned this situation to male bashing are insensitive. Your pictures doesn't negate anything I said, and you shouldn't call rapists my brothers (as a feminist, we would persist in doing such because you love to group all men together, and call them rapists); I never said there are no male rapists. Male rapists exist just like like female rapists. Male and female rape apologists and deniers do exist; I have seen men and women who have said that a man cannot be raped. However, you would never see me call all women rapists.

Toxic masculinity exists in all men in varying degrees, the society condones it and since Nigeria is tilted towards patriarchy ,it is barely seen as abnormal behavior. Any woman who sees it as abnormal is seen as trying to ruffle feathers and stir the waters and will likely get tagged a feminist .


No matter what you say, feminism is the reason the girl child can now have an education ,if for nothing else ,it is a good thing Infact that was a ground breaking acheivement for feminism and worth celebrating and any man who doesn't appreciate feminism for that feat alone is archaic and barbaric.And if you feel child support , alimony ,child custody are a privilege to women ,maybe you should grow a womb and stop whining.


Back to the topic, how many men have been raped and killed even if they will be it will definitely be gay crimes by gay men.How many elderly men have been gang raped by a group of girls?how many men were sexually molested by their own mothers? Let's compare figures maybe then we will know which to give priority. Why is that when rape comes up that is when you remember that men are raped too? If it's not to water down the seriousness of rape then what is it? Even young boys are now being raped by homos ,but that is a conversation for another day.


If only you will use this same energy to talk to your fellow men making this country scary for women folk , we will get somewhere.

Martinez39s:
"Not all men are rapists" is a fact just as "not all women are rapists" is a fact. Maybe men wouldn't have to say "not all men are rapists" in situations like these if feminists like you weren't going about using this tragedy to imply that all men are rapists and rape apologists/enablers, and rape is a flaw peculiar to the masculine gender. There are tons of female rapists/sex predators, but no one says all women are rapists.

Changing a serious situation like this into male bashing is unproductive, insensitive to the victims of rape, and utterly childish.

In all you have said ,can you please tell everyone reading how you have come to the conclusion that I am a feminist? Let's start from there first.Because it's rather ridiculous how toxic and utterly disgusting you men can be on this forum loosely throwing feminism around .I would very much appreciate it if you point out where you sensed any kind of toxic feminism in my comments. A screenshot would even be better. Thanks .


Also since you claim women are the insensitive and childish ones here , here Below are your brothers ,I am sure these are very thoughtful comments. So who needs orientation more , the women who don't feel safe in the country or the men who make the country unsafe for women ,you decide.

Someone7:
I'm so ashamed of some of my fellow Nigerian men. Even if you are not a rapist, do not be an enabler. The least you can do is have some empathy for someone's pain. That's what makes us human.

Women in Nigeria are scared and angry. They don't feel safe or protected and they are protesting against rape and other violence against women. And you are busy posting vile comments, blaming the victim's or glorifying rape. If you have nothing constructive to say, kindly shut up.

Rape is not a joke, it scars the victims for life. Rape is NEVER the victim's fault. This culture of blaming the victim is not only counterproductive but highly dangerous. This is because victims will prefer to hide and never speak up. When this happens, perpetrators will be free to prey on other women and girls in the future.

Remember it could be your sister, or daughter one day. (If you like say "God forbid" or "it is not my portion). Don't let it happen to them one day before you take action or show some solidarity with the women.

Remember the quote: If you are silent in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor"

well said.

DominusPrime:
Yes of course I know where I belong and its with those who believe that no woman should be raped for any reason. Rape can never be justified. Now if you open your brain and reason properly you will realise that my statement in no way justified rape but simply talked about the reaction of women who generalise men as rapists and how men should react to such. Why are you people angry that men do not agree that they are all rapists? Or you feel we should keep quiet and say yes we all are?

But then again ,did you channel the same energy to talk to your fellow men? Where is the empathy towards the victim in your comment?

Nigeria is trialing India behind as being the Rape headquarters of the world yet you think chanting "not all men are rapists " will be the solution? Where are the men to mentor these youths ? What are your younger brothers seeing you do and say on issues like this? You claim to be a good man but you channel your energy not in the way forward but in fighting gender war ? .

E dey pain una for body ,but on this same forum women are regarded as second in command to the devil , heaven nor fall.


Someone said you were barking at the wrong tree , and it's true . You either outrightly condemn it or occupy your self with derail tactics,there is no sitting on the fence. This rape culture we keep glorifying subconsciously in Nigeria has to stop.


You don't support rape ,you are one of those good men yet you are more occupied with lecturing us on the relationship between money and sex on a rape thread , what does that say of you? Yes we have heard it over a billion times , countless number of threads have been created on how women like money ,how men should not give women money,bla bla bla ,but couldn't you just take a break on this thread.?is bringing sex and money a sensible thing to do on a thread where a lady was gruesomely raped and murdered? Ask yourself that question.smh

DominusPrime:
They don't o my brother. Deep down they know their brothers and fathers are not rapists. Infact when they calm down and you ask them they admit they aren't. But right now they will say such things as a means to calm frustration. Imagine how mad men walk the streets shouting at no one in particular. We usually ignore. But make the mistake of asking one why he is shouting, na then wahala go start for you wey ask. Let's learn to live above such statements as men and not let it get to us. The strength of most women is in talking and arguing. The best answer most times is silence.

There are those men who keep silent on issues like this

Then there are those who channel their energy to defend the bro code with the " not all men are rapists " chant instead of condemning the rapists,

Then there are those who boldly come out to support the rapists like the ones Below.


In all of these categories ,non seem to be empathizing with the victim. These groups of men are all categorised among the group of rapists apologists.

And I guess you already know the category you belong to. Smh

vivalavida:
My fellow Nigerian men need to do better.
This constant raping of girls is something to be ashamed of. If u are pressed sexually, locate a brothel or get a girl friend. Or marry. Don't unleash your animalistic sexual urge on innocent defenceless girls.

Glad you are speaking out ,if not Nigeria will overtake India as rape headquarters and it's really disturbing.

Nigeria is gradually overtaking India as the world rape headquarters smh

Isn't this the same modus of operation of boko Haram?

InvertedHammer:
/
The more reason they should test each other out.
I believe people who say no sex before marriage have things to hide. What if during honeymoon the guy dives into an ocean? Any refund? Or his generator refuses to start? Regrets?

/

ocean and generator lol . What term will you use to finger sized rod? .


Anyway in my personal opinion I very much agree with you. Sexual compatibility among other aspects of the relationship can not be over emphasized.

InvertedHammer:
/
The more reason they should test each other out.
I believe people who say no sex before marriage have things to hide. What if during honeymoon the guy dives into an ocean? Any refund? Or his generator refuses to start? Regrets?

/

ocean and generator lol . What term will you use to finger rod? .


Anyway in my personal opinion I very much agree with you. Sexual compatibility among other aspects of the relationship can not be over emphasized.

InvertedHammer:
/
"No Sex Before Marriage" is an agreement between the two partners not to have sex with each other until the marriage rites are concluded. How do we define naivety?
It doesn't guarantee abstinence especially on the third partner who is not part of the deal. It is total bullshit.

2020 and beyond should be "No Pregnancy No Marriage". Nigerian girls too waka . Trust at your own peril. Trust but Verify.
/

Waka Waka with who? Aliens? considering that men shooting blanks and having limb rods is now on the rise. You should not be quick to tilt this towards one side bro.

Money is meant to be spent on earth. Remember Solomon had everything before he said vanity upon vanity.

Kekereekun123:
The lift in AU Building speaks Chinese before English lol. A friend was there last year. African union still dey owe them for the building.

lol

So who is the real victim here ,the man or the woman?.

4Play:
This whole indecent dressing leads to sexual assault nonsense forgets that up until relatively recently, our ancestors walked around unclothed. It would have meant that assault was the order of the day. However, if you study all those newly discovered tribes such as the Koma tribe there is no indication that the women are habitually assaulted. If anything, clothes can arouse the mind as to what lies beneath, a sense of mystery, which for men lacking self-control leads to rape.

exactly , those days adolescent girls could bathe outside without fear that a pervert will be lurking in the shadows . I ask myself what went wrong ,smh

Donbabaj:
Correct. I tried to avoid this but you know ladies always inquisitive. In fact, truth be told, we had a romance, but not sex. I had to tell her why cant we just wait for few weeks but that apart, the major thing is the way she switches whenever I tell her the hard truth. At times she listens and adjust. I even gat to tell her that if shes using a reverse psychology for me. Although, sometimes I stand my ground but more often than not I apologise.

so you touchy touchy her ,put her in the mood ,come begin dey preach the word of God to her abi?oga your own dey your body .

You sure say you treat that infection well so, or just hiding under Christianity to deceive her? Why are both of you even living under the same roof and sleeping on the same bed if you don't want to have sex till wedding night?