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3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me - Romance (8) - Nairaland

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Few Weeks To Wedding....text Message Discovered. / 3 Weeks To Our Wedding, I Feel Like Calling It Off / Man Caught His Fiancee In Bed With His Best Man 3 Weeks To Wedding (2) (3) (4)

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Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Hoephase: 1:00pm On May 26, 2020
If you love her what happened to letting her see a therapist for her mood swing?
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Munzy14(m): 1:02pm On May 26, 2020
wizzyarts:
She has no problem at all but you're just the problem. As a Christian u claimed to be, why will u ask a lady u haven't get married to come and live in same room with u And u keep touching her everyday and u think she isn't sensitive. Is romance not a sin? Maybe she might be doing this to see and know how faithful you are in maintaining your words. She can as well be thinking "why will two of us (about to wed)sleeping in the same bed with less romance and no sex?"

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Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by DanseMacabre(m): 1:02pm On May 26, 2020
GamalNasser:

Trust me he is a one minute man

grin

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by jaxxy(m): 1:03pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.

What is her sign? Horoscope? Pieces?
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by bizhop01: 1:03pm On May 26, 2020
Tell her that for you to marry her is not by force,
It's will reset her brain to factory mood.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by dozeman: 1:03pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.

You are a born again, I guess and you think the best place you can get advice on a matter that can affect your marriage in future and ultimately your making heaven would be on Nairaland? I am sorry for you.
Look as you are being dragged down.

Don't you have more experienced and more spiritual elders that you can meet to handle this matter? You should have mentors that should be there for you and would always help you out in times like this?

Brov...... you can't stay here and be saying "it's against your faith" and all that. This is not a matter to joke with.

Seek help at the appropriate places, please.

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by BananaPeel(m): 1:04pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.
.
Go and marry her and stop all this mumu talk.
Married my wife despite telling me she always have mood swings. Been married for over a year now and I no see any mood swing.
Go and marry her and be a man.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Prolific2018: 1:04pm On May 26, 2020
chatinent:
You both are on the 'bed' and are 'touching' but no sensitive parts as an advocate of bla bla. So you mean you were touching toes right? And who told you it's Christian to live together with sb you are yet to be married with?
.
The problem is you don't know what rules and principles you keep.



Definitely not an advocate of whatever ur blabla is because you are not supposed to be under same roof, touching.let alone,on the same bed.
You are not 100% faithful to whatever you believe in. You have tampered with the principle already.
Fix you then you can fix her.

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by paul100(m): 1:04pm On May 26, 2020
Righteousness89:
As a Christian, which you say you are, Did you Hear from GOD in any way about her being your wife or you just relied on your own feelings or her appearance and all that?

There is Much More to Marriage than Good sex and all that "I Love you"

You have to be Compatible Spirtually First and then Physically

My Advice to anyone is this; If you were not led to your Spouse , don't go in! Marriage is a One time thing for us who Claim we follow GOD!

GOD is not Committed to where he didn't send you to.. ( My personal Experience)

If you have no Divine connection to her, move away now!

A Failed Courtship is Better Than a Failed Marriage!
Can you explain the bolded text because the bible says Proverbs 18:22
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD,so i don't get
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by t00dugged(f): 1:05pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:


Correct. I tried to avoid this but you know ladies always inquisitive. In fact, truth be told, we had a romance, but not sex. I had to tell her why cant we just wait for few weeks but that apart, the major thing is the way she switches whenever I tell her the hard truth. At times she listens and adjust. I even gat to tell her that if shes using a reverse psychology for me. Although, sometimes I stand my ground but more often than not I apologise.
so you touchy touchy her ,put her in the mood ,come begin dey preach the word of God to her abi?oga your own dey your body undecided.

You sure say you treat that infection well so, or just hiding under Christianity to deceive her? Why are both of you even living under the same roof and sleeping on the same bed if you don't want to have sex till wedding night? undecided

1 Like

Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by samsard(m): 1:06pm On May 26, 2020
Theoarhics:
You are wicked ...how can u be touching her and not want her to kiss u after arousing her. You didn't think its not biblical.
Only sensible answer that isn't religious hypocrisy.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by fortunechy(m): 1:07pm On May 26, 2020
Ur getting her in the mood by touching her..... Don't u know that Women body are too sensitive.... If u can't do, why touchingly joking with her body??
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by joliecouer: 1:08pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:


For the one year we have dated she never for once. I mean for once embarrased me. She respects me in public. My only problem is the way she switches her mood. She just go into her shell and avoid any communication. I've talked to her mildly but this keeps repeating itself.
.

Trust me I have been there . it is not easy and kind of frustrating .
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by paix(m): 1:08pm On May 26, 2020
If wants kisses, give them to her. Kiss her nose, kiss her forehead, kiss her hand, kiss her neck, kiss her lips. Let her have the kiss of love.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Froshhh7(m): 1:08pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.
...ur case is very simple man dump ur shitty beleive Bleep her wella n she will be so grateful to u..thank me later
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nehyooh(m): 1:09pm On May 26, 2020
This is Serious ooo
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 1:09pm On May 26, 2020
Lol, two of you are fooling each other. You claimed to be faithful, and yet you kept a woman under thesame roof, thesame bed, lol, I laugh in Swahili. For what abeg? To suck free early morning breast? Romance is not a sin abi?

And when you sleep, your body don't touch each other, you put pillow between the two of you? Let me go straight to the point, its either you are lieing you havent slept with her or you are IMPOTENT. I guess you should help the girl by leaving her
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by WHITELIGHTER: 1:10pm On May 26, 2020
Mypeople2:
You sure? Okay so how many hearts did she break before she met here ?

Leave the guy make he dey believe everything woman tell am. By default every woman wanna play saint
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Marshalemmy(m): 1:11pm On May 26, 2020
MansoryMX:


We live in evolutionary world that changes from time to time. It’s understandable to see a woman who wants no sex before marriage but it’s rare to see a guy who wants no sex before marriage (I respect you) but Bro, you are playing with fire. That aspect you are gambling makes up 70% in marriage and if by any chance you discover you are a one minute man after you get married to her or you cannot match up her sexual desires and fantasies, bro you are in deep shit. Another important issue is her mood swing. All women have mood swing when they lack something they want. Some it’s just one of their many annoying characters. My wife has mood swing more than any woman in this world but I am used to it and just ignore her whenever she starts. Check thoroughly if you can cope with this mood swing because it will not stop anytime soon. I always tell people who are about getting married this. “When it comes to marriage, love is not enough. There is tolerance, patience, good sex to orgasm, contentment, understanding and respect for each other
Oga u have said it all and as such, I will say nothing to this guy. Meanwhile take one beer for my head at any nearest joint account
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Froshhh7(m): 1:11pm On May 26, 2020
Oluromantic:
Youre abt to marry a mel-chlor or san-mel. Apart from mood swings, they want admiration badly and they get easily angry if not admired. I once dated a girl like that before, I was the one who by myself told her we're not compatible, cus I couldn't cope. She ranted when I told her, abused me and my parents blabla but I felt free like I was caged before. That's me though, you may be able to cope. We're different.

By nature, they lack moderate feelings, emotional independence and stability...that's their weakness. It's usually from one extreme of emotions to the other extreme skipping moderation and balance in-between. At one time, they'll love you like babies, like all their life depends on you. Another time, they'll show serious temper over little things. Either you date for marriage or there's nothing between both of you. No ordinary friendly plays or so at all except birthed by emotions. If you beat her often in a ludo or whot game na wahala. If you decide to be passive abt her swings, she may leave for her parents or friend house for being ignored and that'll be embarrassing. But their strength is being supportive, they can give u their all or even indebt themselves for you in loves name.

If you know u can't cope, you still have time to decide. Forget about family.. only 2 of you'll live together as man n wife. Forget the general conclusion that women are emotional..little things upset them blabla. It's when they want to be selfish they say all that. Not all women are emotional dilly-dallys. Though emotional, some are sensible with their emotions. I'm not wishing you separation at d edge of ur wedding but the truth need be told. You need to be very emotionally balanced and independent on your own to keep her going. If you are, then you can cope, but if you're not, hmmmm...
...j
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Maobichek: 1:12pm On May 26, 2020
dingbang:
You sef.. But you were touching her and you didn't tell yourself it wasnt biblical too abi.
Hahahaaaa!!! you are bad oh!
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 1:12pm On May 26, 2020
3 weeks to ur wedding and u guys are on bed playing with one another ,isoryt
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 1:12pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:


I'm not a 1 minute man. Cos before I rededicated my life to christ. I have had flings with 2 different ladies which I told her and coupled with I did a medical check up recently and was treated of only infection which I told her.


Op I must say u are foolish for bringing ur relationship and wedding plans to Nairaland. Nairaland is a very toxic place for marriage and relationship advise, watch and see hw ur relationship will be ruined cos of the negative advise u will get from here.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by pawesome(m): 1:12pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.
She sliping in your house before marriage is biblical
You touching her is biblical



Oga,you have been doing it out if the books before so what's the big deal bout kissing her abeg
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Marshalemmy(m): 1:13pm On May 26, 2020
MansoryMX:


We live in evolutionary world that changes from time to time. It’s understandable to see a woman who wants no sex before marriage but it’s rare to see a guy who wants no sex before marriage (I respect you) but Bro, you are playing with fire. That aspect you are gambling makes up 70% in marriage and if by any chance you discover you are a one minute man after you get married to her or you cannot match up her sexual desires and fantasies, bro you are in deep shit. Another important issue is her mood swing. All women have mood swing when they lack something they want. Some it’s just one of their many annoying characters. My wife has mood swing more than any woman in this world but I am used to it and just ignore her whenever she starts. Check thoroughly if you can cope with this mood swing because it will not stop anytime soon. I always tell people who are about getting married this. “When it comes to marriage, love is not enough. There is tolerance, patience, good sex to orgasm, contentment, understanding and respect for each other
Oga u have said it all and as such, I will say nothing to this guy. Meanwhile take one beer for my head at any nearest joint
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Sunkyapogee(m): 1:13pm On May 26, 2020
Lack of sex swing mood..give her some and see the changes cool
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by xtiandamondre(m): 1:13pm On May 26, 2020
dingbang:
You sef.. But you were touching her and you didn't tell yourself it wasnt biblical too abi.
Before someone would open up their problem on the media like this, they might be fed up and need a serious advice to move in with their life. A simple message of hope can revitalize the marriage and things get back to normal.

If you cant give better advise, sit back for the matured mind to write contribute meaningful responses. OKAY
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Liposure: 1:13pm On May 26, 2020
xxxtedyxxx:
Stop falling for her mood swings.
A woman won't respect you if she knows what she does affects you in some way.
Be passive.
Stop reacting to her mood swings.
In addition.

Your babe needs betta kpanshing...
Keep that bible/Christianity stuff aside.

Flog her now, or another guy outside will flogg her for you.

By the way...have you read this story...?
i support u. Flogging will do
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by lifeisbeautiful: 1:14pm On May 26, 2020
I don't believe in no lady is too hard understand,experience contribute to our we live side a side with woman
First a man number 1 priority is to improve on yourself in all angles,she might earn better than you do for now ,but if you keep improving on yourself she will submit herself to you
Second add value to your relationship,
Most ladies all believe they are right but allow her to prove herself but with patient and tolerate you can correct her,that is only when she sees you are more intelligent and you are real man
You are yet to be married,you don dey see faults,despite marital life is a union that no one can predict from the unset,be responsible financially despite she earn more than you,take charge of the relationship from unset with RESPECT
Issue of sex before marriage.

You are both in the same room touching each other and time to kiss reach you beginning to read bible verse,as for me am a Christian but I can't marry a woman without going deep into her ministry,she not a virgin neither I am then why come decieve myself,I will know my woman sexual ability before marriage,if na woman way too like sex I will brace up and to know if I can satisfy her before head to ulter before marriage so that she or me will not be complaining of sex after marriage or I will not have a side chick that will be my sex mate
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Roland17(m): 1:14pm On May 26, 2020
Donbabaj:
I left her in the sitting room without any remorse but my mind no carry am. I went to plead with her now & she agreed. :'(

You are setting a dangerous precedence that is unsustainable in the long term.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by Nobody: 1:16pm On May 26, 2020
3 weeks to the wedding and you want to cancel now? That poor, poor girl. I am sure you Courted her, and engaged her. Did you not know about her mood swings then?

I know we are in the era of selfishness and me-myself-I but calling off the wedding is cruel. Still, a cancelled wedding is better than a divorce. I hope this girl has a good support network around her.
Re: 3 Weeks To Wedding & I'm Confused! Please Advise Me by kolade560: 1:16pm On May 26, 2020
I hate people that beg always to settle quarrels, women need strong men in their lives and not weak ones.
Has your begging reduce her attitudes, when she acts in such manner, shun her too she will realise her senses. stop always initiating settlement.

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