₦airaland Forum

yukinakahara86:
She Left Me for Someone New — While Still in My Arms

Five years. That’s how long I was with her.
Five years of being there for her through everything: her struggles, her dreams, her insecurities.
I gave her my best.
And yet, she left me for a man she barely knew.

XINEE didn’t wait until we were over. She started something new before ending what we had.
She accepted his pursuit in secret. While I was planning our future, she was planning her escape.

"I Love You" and Lies in the Same Breath

Just days before she left me, she told me, “You’re the only one I trust.”
She still kissed me, called me "babe," and held my hand.
But the truth was already rotting under the surface.

She had already been going on dates with him.
While she was still with me.

How I Discovered the Betrayal

She started acting distant. I noticed late-night texting, secret smiles, sudden changes in routines. I never wanted to be the paranoid boyfriend.

Until I saw her phone.

Flirty texts. Sweet nicknames. Hotel bookings.
It wasn’t a misunderstanding.
It was a betrayal.

She Didn’t Just Break My Heart — She Robbed Me Too

What made it worse?
Money went missing.
I thought maybe I misplaced it. Maybe I was overthinking.

But it didn’t feel right.

I reported it.

The police found out the truth. She stole from me.
She admitted it. No shame, no apology. Just another layer of betrayal.

Five Years Meant Nothing to Her

I helped her when she had nothing.
I paid for her bills, supported her through mental breakdowns, celebrated her every small success.
I stood by her when even her family gave up.

And she gave herself to someone else.

That’s not love. That’s betrayal disguised as affection.

Why I’m Telling My Story Now

Because people like her get away with too much.
Because there are others out there going through the same pain.
Because silence only protects the liar, not the one who loved honestly.

I’m not perfect.
But I was loyal.
And I deserved better than lies, theft, and a secret affair.

My Message to Her

You said I was the best thing that ever happened to you.
But the moment someone new came along, you threw me away like trash.

I don’t hate you.
I pity you.

Because you lost a man who would’ve done anything for you.
And one day, when the new guy leaves you too, I hope you remember who picked you up when no one else would.

Final Thoughts

Some people cheat. Some steal. Some lie.
XINEE did all three.

This isn’t revenge. This is closure.

And to anyone reading this, wondering if they should walk away from someone who makes them feel "not enough" —

You already know the answer.

FAQs

Q1: Did she cheat before the breakup?Yes. She was going on dates with him while still in a relationship with me.

Q2: Did she really steal from you?Yes. It was confirmed by police. She confessed.

Q3: Why didn’t you leave earlier?Because I believed in her. I trusted her. I thought love would be enough.

Q4: Are you over her now?I’m healing. Day by day. But I’ll never forget the lessons.

Q5: Would you ever forgive someone like her?I can forgive. But I will never forget. And I will never go back.

I went through exact same thing. The only difference is she scammed me despite everything I did for her. Many times I'd ask her to tell me if she was tired of the relationship, she would say she wanted us to still be together. Then she woke up one day and decided to steal from me. Funny thing is, she's not even remorseful about it. She told a neighbor that confronted her that she didn't take anything from me. That it was done willingly. My heart sank. Some ladies are cold, selfish, wicked and callous.

I made a thread about it. I wouldn't want anybody else to go through what I've been through the past couple of days if I can help it.

Going forward, you see this thing called love? I'm done with it. I just want to focus on my family and those who truly care about me. My friends and family. It's not worth it abeg.

I'm not taking that risk with another woman. What really kills me is people don't understand that when you truly love somebody, you give them benefit of the doubt regardless of the signs. You want to make sure that you don't make decisions in a haste. That has cost me a beautiful relationship that could have blossomed to something more beautiful.

But now, I'm done with this shit called love. It's a waste of time and resources. It's a gamble finding a female that truly cares for you. It's a gamble that's not even worth taking.

OP channel your resources and time to people that deserve it. If you decide to go into another relationship, make certain that she isn't there because of what she stands to gain material wise.

For me, I'm done. Goodluck to anybody searching for love now, it's a messed up dating world out there.

Kavara:
John Olawale Odutayo is an unrepentant scammer.

He is threatening because he has been exposed as fetalu and Stephen ayantoye counterpart.

Tenrack he scammed you of 2k. You kept quiet. You are enabling him.

Domique pls take note.

He is threatening me via mail.

bro can you send me a mail? justinepristine700@gmail.com

Nnamdipapa:
Don't feel like shit, life happens. Imagine you are married to your ex gf, have kids together before showing herself, you would be in way more difficult position than you are today. Life usually teaches us lessons one way or the other, learn your lessons and move on with determinations never to repeat past mistakes.

Learn to invest heavily in yourself and do not be tempted to carry other people's problems, you are only responsible for yourself and never be tempted to buy love or respect. Be true to yourself at all time.

tHank you so much sire. I really appreciate. I hope I can get out of this mood asap. It's messing with my mental.

Nnamdipapa:
Buying cars with the first money I made instead of investing in properties, trying to impress gf and her family members. Deciding to go into marriage and not pursuing my real career after my master's. Trying to please my parents instead of moving out to my own place.

All the above are summaries of mistakes made so far that I would not repeat. No matter the mistake in the past, your biggest mistake today would be living in regrets, the past is past, and I am taking direct steps to remedy the past.

my mistake is being too invested in people who don't give a Bleep about me. It's happened several times. Be it in relationship or friendship. You're right I am too emotional. This is something I would have to work on one way or another. I am that type of person that goes out of his way to please a person, I always keep my own needs on the back burner. I feel better knowing people I care about are okay. I seldom think about me first. And this has always hurt me repeatedly. Yet I keep sailing on...it's a terrible habit.

Being too forgiving, being too eager to let backstabbing and betrayal slide. Being too nice...being a good person. Not being able to control my emotions. Being in a haste to trust people, so much that I give them too many opportunities to mess me up.

I feel like shiiit rn.

SalamRushdie:
My entire family in the US are legit oo, we even have an NBA player and we no dey ever put hand for crime

bros abeg I fit shoot you PM? It's important please.

Martinez39s:
In as much as female nature is invariably universal, some women are more calculative and smarter than others. Some won't easily fall for certain things that others will fall for (though they have the same objectives, some will be shrewd to thoroughly clear doubts and ensure safety before jumping ship). For example, some women will fall for strange numbers asking them out while others will be careful and suspect if their boyfriend is orchestrating it all to test them. This can be due to experience or common sense.

Your girlfriend, if she goes on to date someone else, will more careful given the experience she just had with you. Her future boyfriend will see it as a win? Lol. Maybe she was too careful in your tests because she was caught blatantly in the past. Many of these updates (e.g. boyfriend testing you, etc) have already been dicussed in many female whatsapp groups. Some even go as far a having a secret phone that their husbands and boyfriends don't know about and will likely never find.

Some have some experiences that others don't have. Sometimes, a woman's response to accounts online will depend on circumstances and factors. For example, what is your status and the perceived status of the guy asking her if she has a boyfriend? It is easy for a woman to reject a guy who has a lower status for relationship. Would that be the pass you were looking for? If it were a much richer guy whose identity she had verified and was sure to bag, would she have rejected?

You just need to accept that no woman is beyond hypergamy. Your mother, sisters, girlfriend and all the woman alive, dead and yet to be born will jump ship for the better deal. No woman is different. If you are looking for a relationship, you must have this in mind and proceed wisely: in how you trust, in how you invest in her, in how you lead, in how you prepare for a possible rainy day and disappointment from your spouse, etc. Stop looking for a different woman who only exists in lala land. If your girlfriend had an option better than you, she would leave you.

Life is just what it is. Hypergamy is not going anywhere. Hypergamy is not good or bad (personally, I think it is good), it is an unchangeable part of human life. Make peace with it.

I had known about your teachings for a while, yet I let my feelings get the best of me. I hope someone else can learn from my mistake.

https://www.nairaland.com/8461427/got-scammed-served-breakfast-single/7

Keep doing the good work boss.

SpencerForbes:
Last week, I played a prank on my babe by using someone’s else pics to chat her on TikTok. She always leaves my messages unread cos of TikTok. The moment I told her I really like her and I asked her if I could ask her a question. She started narrating her life story to me. Telling me where she lives and where she’s from. Then I told her I want to date her, she asked really?

I played along and asked if she had a boyfriend, she replied yes, somehow😂

I was reasoning if na babe wey I don Dey date Dey reply somehow. Even if she didn’t fall but the win wasn’t convincing enough. The babe just Dey find higher bidder make she monkey branch.

I confronted her and had to give her a pass for that. Some go deny you outrightly like my ex. She told a man in front of me that she doesn’t have a boyfriend that I’m her friend. Since then I stopped trusting that gender.

I’m kind of pitying the girl cos if I react she’s going to hate all guys. She has a good character and is very feminine, she’ll be good for the next generation and she’s earning fair enough. I just don’t understand why the sudden rush to monkey branch. The female mind is really something else. I’ve been expecting it from her due to the lessons I’ve learnt on this thread but I’m still going to give her another chance and if she fails, she’s gone.

this I should have done earlier. Put her to test. Bleep I was too trusting.

https://www.nairaland.com/8461427/got-scammed-served-breakfast-single/7

I hope many learn from this. Now I'm being blamed.

Yeah. But then again, I am to blame. I was foolishly in love. I didn't think about the ruthlessness of females. Despite everything I had done for her from the very beginning helping with rent and all....man..I feel so stupid. I should have learnt from other people's experience.

Esope6320:
STILL AVAILABLE

Esope6320 good morning brother. Abeg help me edit your post here to remove the lady pic https://www.nairaland.com/8461427/got-scammed-served-breakfast-single/6 Thanks and God bless.

clevybrown:
Not possible....

howfar bro..abeg help me take that lady pics down. Thanks.

https://www.nairaland.com/8461427/got-scammed-served-breakfast-single/6

Cenaman good morning bro. Please help me edit your post on the single mother that scammed me thread. Help me remove the pictures. Thanks man.

Akinfemmy I've updated the thread bro

Lucent8:
....

I've been trying to reach you. I didn't ignore you messages. Mine aren't getting sent. I don't want you getting the wrong idea. I didn't snub. I would have called you then but it would have interrupted with my work. So I tried later, and noticed your phone has been switched off ever since. 🙏