₦airaland Forum

A kid was tryin to tell his dad about his mum's bakasi, the following conversation took place;
KID: 'Dad, I saw mum's bakasi'
DAD: 'where?'
KID: 'at her backside'
DAD: 'can u decribe him?'
KID: 'yes dad, its big, wally,bigger than u dad.'
DAD: 'i c'
KID: 'dad, what do u mean by "i c?"
DAD:' i mean i c the reasons why your mum has been avoiding me, she's been seeing her bakasi boyfriend'
When his mother reuturned, it was a thong of war between mother and father,

and who de hell is he that is greater than the pope maybe it was Jesus at the back or somethg OMG, ma ribs r breakin!

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long
flight from LA to NY. The lawyer
leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The
blonde is tired and just wants to take a
nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a
few winks. The lawyer persists,
saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun.

He explains how the game works: "I ask you a question, and if you
don't
know the answer, you pay me,
and visa-versa."

Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he
will easily win the match, so he
makes another offer:

"Okay, how about this "If you don't know the answer you pay me only
$5,
but if I don't know the answer, I
will pay you $500."

This catches the blondes attention and, figuring that there will be no
end to this torment unless she plays,
she agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the
earth
to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a
five-dollar bill, and hands it to the
lawyer.

Now, its the blondes turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down with
four?"

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop
computer and searches all his
references. He taps into the Air phone with his modem and searches the
Net and even the Library of
Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his co-workers and
friends he knows. All to no avail.

After over an hour, of searching for the answer he finally gives up.
He
wakes the blonde and hands her
$500.

The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to
sleep.


The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blonde and
asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?"

Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the
lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

One night a guy took his girlfriend home. As they were about to wish
each
other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in
the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and
smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at
her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" . "No way.
It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" . "No, no, and no. I love
you
too, but I just can't!" .
"Oh yes you can. Please?" ,
"No, no. I just can't"
"I'm begging you , "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's older
sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy
voice
she said, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it.

Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for
God's sake and all of ours,
" TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE CALLING BELL ! ! "

Please guys what will you do if ur fiancee is pregnant for ur own biological father

I need an answer quick because one of my old school friend is in the mess right now.

Thanks and have fun!!

A lil girl was playing with her playmate which was a boy in the lil girl's compound and suddenly she saw some ripe mangoes on the mangoe tree in their compound, she told her mother that she wants to climb and plug the riped mangoes.

Her mother told her not to, that if she do, the lil boy will look at her paint under her dress.

Some minutes later, the lil girl came back calling to her mother with the ripe mangoes in her hands,

Lil girl: mummy mummy, I've plug the mangoes.

Then her mother replied vehemently,

Mother: didn't I tell you not to climb because that  boy down there will look at your paint?

Lil girl: No mummy I pulled off my paint and keep it inside the house before i climb the mangoe.

For a couple of years I've be blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine , too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of.

But now i found out the real reason:
I'm tired because I'm overworked.

Here's why: the population of this country is 273 million,
14 million are retired which leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school , which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government, which leaves 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces, preoccupied whith killing Bin Laden
which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.

Take from the total of 14,800,000 people who work for the state and city government and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time, there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

As of today, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just TWO PEOPLE to do the work.

YOU and ME!

And there u are sitting on your butt, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice real nice,

Happy val, ,

Click the link below to shake it!
http://www.flowgo.com/index.cfm?action=view&id=12746&scid=9964

Shasho's Cyber Cafe,
                                                                                        # 13 Gyado Hospital Rd,
                                                                                         Gboko,
                                                                                         Benue State - Nigeria.
                                                                                         7th Feb., 2006
Kokscity,
The US Marines,
U. S. A.

Dear Sir,

                                   APPLICATION FOR A GREEN PASSPORT

Sir, I humbly write to apply for your green passport with reference to your advert on Nairaland forum on the 7th of February, 2006.

I am a health young Nigerian who haven't seen a green passport before.

I promise to do my best to make use of this passport.

I shall be very glad if my request is granted.

                                                                                                   Thanks,
                                                                                                   Yours Faithfully,
                                                                                                   John Terry

Hello all,

I got a problem here,
I have this girl I love so much and my plans for her is marriage,
but if things work out well, I will be leaving for Canada in September for my studies and I am sure I will stay there for atleast 5 years before I'll visit Nigeria again and I am afraid maybe this girl will leave me for another man in my absense although I've discussed it with her and she said she will wait for me and I can't afford to lose this girl cos I love her so much and my parents won't allow me to marry at this age.
I will be 20yrs in May and she is 18 yrs now.  
Will she really keep to her words?

What are ur own views about it?
I'm so confussed.    

Hey,

Thanks so much for the time u spent in going through my site and I appreciate ur contributions and I will do somethg positively in my powers to amend, u know I'm just comming into this.

I look forward for more advice from you. Seun, I look forward for urs too.

Thanks once again.

Nice day to you all.

Hello everyone,

I want you to share your views about my website, I'm still working on it and I will also need some useful advice from you too if u have any, I will so much appreciate.

>>>>>> www.freewebs.com/coolterryonline

Sign the guest book if u want to.

Thanks and have a nice time.

OMG!!! where is this world going to, a girl of 14

Seun:
Someone should wake this teenaged girl up, call her parents or something!

Seun u got a point there, someone should help out or else................

Ashbaby:
If u get along just fine, that's ok. Just what difference is acceptable, though? I know a 67 year old lady that married a 24 year old guy.

THATS BULLLLLLSHIIIT!!!

the woman is a witch! how could she

George W. Bush, Clinton, and Gore were all in heaven, and the angel said, "You must cross this river and we will judge how much you have sinned based on how far you sink."
Dubya goes first and gets up to his neck, but makes it across. He looks back and sees Al Gore walking on the water. He appeals to the angel saying, "He's sinned as much as I have, what gives?"

The angel says, "He's standing on Clinton's shoulders"

A little boy said to santa:

Boy: santa, give me a brother.

Santa replied. Give me your mother.

I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!

How do u know when kids start to grow up?
Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!

Good job hotstepper, na better job wey u do,

if u fit translate help us wey no de fit read bible, hmm, we go de fit readam,

if at all u come do de translation wetin be de name wey u go giveam?

na King Hotstepper Version abi?

I just carry awoof greeting throw way to u now.

hmmm..... MTN see what u can cause?...

OMG.... this is a very good one here and a good handwriting too....
what will the woman do now

OMG i cant wait to get into that aquatic heaven... damn!
even if the captain tells me its goin to sink in the next five minutes.

goodguy thank u for this information, i will start to make arrangements straight away...

OMG i cant stop

Thats to funny hotstepper

this (Rtd) inspector really got a name there

got another one? drop it hotstepper cos i cant stop laughing

lol..... thats a good one there dm
i like it.


lol lol lol lol lol

oh....oho....man u spend ur time doing all that?

OMG, this is serious,

a man has got a yam, a goat and a lion.
he has to cross the river but can only cross with one of them @ a time.
how do u think he should go about it?

ha ha ha this man really got some problem,

he should better give the yam to the goat to eat then the goat to the lion to also do justice to it,
so he can have only the lion to cross the river with, lol......

sha thats his problem...

Hello people, I got some very few websites of some nigerian actors and actress,
Can anyone of you kindly give me some especially Ramsey Noah's and Emeka Ikye?

RMD = www.rmdpromotions.com
Genevieve = www.aboutgenevieve.com
Rita Dominics = www.ritadominic.com

Please I will appreciate it.