₦airaland Forum

Please oo NL, i want to fry puffpuff and dough-nut. And my teacher(a baker) advised me to get mangarine instead of butter. Because it has a profitable nutrition to the consumer that will eat it, rather than butter that runs most people stomach. I searched for the difference on Google, but Google was giving me the scientifical difference and how their taste differs. But it is the nutritional benefits that concerns me the most. I cant identify, bakers and nutritionist in the house! What is the nutritional difference between butter and mangarine?

#i dont understand why a 43yrs old man who is rich and healthy refuses to get married not even single-but searching. Not to talk of having children#
I'hv waiting for the day he will call my family to lagos to come and eat jollof and poundo yam. And celebrate with him.
What could be the delay is it his
#behaviour#
#fear#
#familybattle#
#superEagles#(sarcastly)

Sounds silly right? I know you must be looking for an insult against me.
But we just have to know our future ahead with the grace and help from God.
Death is a occurence that must happen to every human being. Whether you like it or not. But what if God asks for the age you would wish to die what will you say?
For me it is 90

In this post, i will list some reasons why people die young. You know youthful stage starts from age 20 and stops at age 49. Incase if you dont know, now you know

1) Addictions: such as smoking cigarettes marijuana colorado xanax etc

2) Alcoholism: You might be suprised why i didnt mention ALCOHOLISM with the group of addictions up there. Because alcohol is a major addiction on it own.

3) Violence: So many people have lost their lives to violence including the old. But majority are youths.

4) Thuggery: Thuggery is common mostly in young people. Is more of a gang association, and involves the use of dangerous weapons.

5) Cultism: Cultism and thuggery are very different. Because thuggery is more open but cultism is more of secret association. They are both lethal.

6)Unprotected sex: One of the easiest way to die young. Because unprotected sex exposes people to concreate diseases like HIV/AIDS, STD, Gonorrhea etc.

7) Depression

All kinds of accidents

Welcome back from yesterday's sabbath rest! Happy new day.

1 You are likely to blink more often when you are talking
2 The human eye can function at 100% at any given moment, without needing to rest
3 If the human eye was a digital camera, it would have 576 megapixels
4 The world's most common eye colour is brown
5 In the right condition and lighting, humans can see the light of a candle from 14miles away
6 Although our nose and ears keep growing throughout our lives, our eyes remain the same size from birth
7 colour blindness is more common in males
8 A newborn baby will cry, but not produce any tears. Babies do not produce tears until they are around six weeks old
9 The older we get, the less tears are produce
10 80% of our memories are determined by what we see
11 It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open
12 Dogs cants distinguish between red and green
13 Bees have 5 eyes
14 Dolphins sleep with one eye open
15 We blink between 20,000 and 30,000 times every day
16 The human eye can detect 10million different colours
I hope you'hv learnt something today?

#7fascinatingfactsaboutthepenismenneedtoknow#
1 The first erection: joysticks are born ready, and it is common for babies to exit the womb with an erection
2 A penis is twice as long as you think: joysticks are longer than they look. In fact, around half of the entire length is housed inside the body
3 Your shoe size is the same with your penis length
4 Morning wood: Most people with joysticks have 3-5 erections every night, mostly during REM sleep. This is also called NOCTURNAL PENILE TUMESCENCE.
5 The penis can break: There is no bone in the penis. Which is fairly unusual for mammals. Breakage during vigorious sex and masturbation.
6 No brainer: Most people with joysticks have very little control over exactly when they ejaculate. Simply it does not involve the brain
7 Cornflakes prevent masturbation: Dr John Harvey Kellogg, the breakfast cereal mastermind invented cornflakes and other products because he thought the plain foods would lead Americans away from the sin of masturbation.
Thanks for your time!

I just finished insulting one Aboki that is selling pepper. "werey fe gba mi lori ata N300". I insulted 4 people in total just today. What about you? Either physically or online

In this new generation, a 3year old child can have an understanding capacity of a full grown teenager.
Some kids came to pay us a visit in our home and they are between the age of 3-7, and they were two of them. So one day, my sister was bathing for the younger one who is a girl. Somehow somehow the girl touched my sister chest and said "see breast"! Suprisingly my sister gave a dirty slap at her back and the little girl began to cry. That was how i got to know this. Then i asked the girl "who taught you this rubbish?" she began to cry so my sister told me to leave her for now that she must have learnt that when her mum undresses in presence thinking she is still an infant.
I once flogged her elder brother for peeping at me while undressing in the middle of my wardrobe. Their mother is not taking it serious at all. When we reported her daughter to her on phone she said that is how she behaves at home. Can you just imagine this level of insanity. What do you think in this type of situation?

In this life not everybody you see really deserves a helping hand. I can tell you that some poor people are proud than some elites.
We once had a neighbour who we were very close to. As in family-friends. So one day i saw the trouser that my friend was wearing, the trouser was under-sized for him because he had grown taller than the trouser's length. And that is even one of his best trousers he wore to church.

So one day i picked some of my favourites clothings and jeans trousers even palm shoes. I ironed the clothes and some trousers and presented it to him. He was very glad and happy and showed his mum, the woman pretended to be happy about it sha.

But till date, i have never seen my friend wearing anyone of them. The thing pain me o because i still loved the clothes and shoes i gave him. I am even confused maybe it is my friend or his mother that are ingrate. What do you call this type of attitude?

Happy new month!

What can i do for my close friend who have being scratching his underneath for weeks.

A pharmacist prescribed an antibiotics for him but still itchy. He described his discomfort from coming up inside his body. #Lil will sometimes grab his joystick and rub it hard until it becomes pink# he told me.

I asked him when last did he Bleep and he said last year. I dont know how to help him again o. And i cant watch him crying from discomfort. What medications should i get for him?

I heard that BAT has opened the border of one country to Naija. I think Niger or so!
They said foreign rice is cheaper unlike the local one. We ate one yesterday and we were not afraid of chewing stones. So how much is a bag of foreign rice? Regular market goers

It is rainy season. Have you tasted mango this year?

Dollar is depreciating! Dollar is depreciating! But i am yet to see the effect of that in the price of goods in my area. No difference yet! Have you seen any difference in your own area? Are things cheaper or stagnant?

What changes your mood whenever you're unhappy? Is it music company of friends doing your hubbies working out partying watching movies meeting with loved ones talking gaming sporting gyming kissing massage etc my one na some smooch

I cant really remember when last we bought a bag of rice in our house. Maybe december of 2022. But in lagos i guess a bag of rice should be around that 80k or more than... In your state kor?

Wizpa:
No be for everything you go manage
Food you go manage
Phone you go still manage
Stop being a cheap individual... no one will take you serious that way

Go and get yourself a good camera phone, abi you wan manage till you die ni?

It is not everybody that is tired of poverty. Oye ko ti ye e

Jewessgratitud3:
Dumb" yet this is your second or third comment on the post under one hour.

Keep salivating and dying of hunger over my food. E no go ever touch your mouth.

Wizpa, tell her you're not a vulture !

My aunty's husband kissed his wife in the presence of their children. And my mum was not okay with it, she rebuked them privately and told them that children are fast learners and very sensitive. They tend to do things they have seen their parents doing in their presence. I see nothing really bad in it, except that the children are less than 12 in age. Is it right?

Jewessgratitud3:
All this secondary school levers making noise all over my post, please your noise is becoming too much.

I no know who be una mate for here.









Y'all go and get a life and leave that bet naija shop you're typing from.

Is like you're enjoying life in the brothel where u are cooking your low budget food. THE TRUTH SHALL SENT YOU FREE, only if you're ready to leave.

Jewessgratitud3:
Seek who's attention exactly? Like I care what you or my agenda think about my post?

If any of your nonsense bothers me I would have long stopped but cos I don't give a hoot what Inconsequential elements think about me and my post, I won't stop. So deal with it!

Your words and lame attacks got nothing on me cos you don't exist as far as I'm concerned.

Pls who understands this poem? Am lost

Jewessgratitud3:
You shall give account of every idle words you have spoken here today cos I don't remember calling you.

Continue

Yawn!

Jewessgratitud3:
I made this yam fried egg and sauce on a low budget prepared only half of the yam.

Yam 1700
Vegetable oil 300 ( my vegetable oil is finished and I'm on a budget)
Egg 500
Fresh tomatoes and peppers 400.

You too can try it. Very filling too.

Why are you always displaying your low budget foods online? And why are you always cooking foods meant for vultures and dogs? Maybe you should be using illustrating photos from shutter stock rather than this shi.... We are hungry doesnt mean we are mad people

Right from when i was a kid, i was forced to stay indoor when my peers were outdoor having fun. I was flogged everytime i tried to sneak out.
In the journey of life, i'hv learnt to be lonely.
1 When i was in primary level, i was a fighter in the class and later became violent. I cant count the numbers of pupils shirt i'hv torn. I was really poor academically.
2 In high school, my mates had besties, girlfriends, friends etc. But i had none. This time i became less violent but very harsh and mean in my words. When others went for sports and social clubs, i always hid myself under the school's basement.
3 In my adolescence period, i entered university of which i am still in currently. I had a place of work. And my boss always complain to my parents why i love to be silent at work and prevent smiling always. I guess i am just tough inside but not outside.
The same parents who me locked up indoor in my childhood. Are now begging to be interactive and be associative. Is it not too late?

My sis have being informing me that my younger brother is always wearing my shoes especially the versace one which is my favourite for hanging out with his girlfriend and his friends. But i usually ignore the information.
Unfortunately for him i caught him flexing with that my versace sneakers along with his gang. I was actually returning from airtel office for nin linkage when i caught him on the way.
I decided not to disgrace him among his peers, so when we got home the punishment he was going to serve is to wash my clothes and shoes for 2weeks.
MANY DAYS FOR THE THIEF ONE DAY FOR THE OWNER. Can you just imagine such audacity.

Has any of your relationships last up to a year? I am talking about the erotic one.

What is your highest budget for this year, and what for?
Is it for business, family, personal use, organization etc.
For me i need N800,000 for a couple of brand new computer system for my sticker and design business. What about yours?

There is always a mix up and a little misunderstanding between the difference of water closet and closet in Nigeria. Nigerians are still yet to recgonize the difference between those two objects. But there is just one big difference between water closet and closet. The difference is;
WATER CLOSET: uses automatic flush direct from the water source. All you need is just to use the automatic jear of button to flush.
CLOSET: uses manual flush direct from the user. The user uses his/her bucket to flush the closet. It is not connected to any water source. Therefore the user will have to come with a full bucket of water.
Disclaimer: If you're still confused if the closet in your toilet or bathroom is automatic or manual, water closet or closet. This is a thread for you to know!

[quote author=Jewessgratitud3 post=129268970]I need very foolish advice here. TESTIEBOBO'S VERSION

I'm picky when it comes making relationship choices. For me attractiion has to come from my otherwise I'll find it easy to accept the vulture.


There's this cow, very delicious and. I'm sure will be older than me or we'll be of same age I hate watching his contents on Facebook and what attracted me to him was one of his yansh opening videos where he talked about premarital sex and the dangers of engaging in it as an idiot. I was wowed that a dark handsome cow like him could speak against such practices nd his audience that day were butchers and teenwolves.

I began to hate him and noticed he addresses the youth more and is always teaching them immoral and chemistry lessons. I somehow felt hatred to him and one day swallowed the courage to ask him if he's fucking. He didn't reply.

I recently came across his video again and asked him for the last time on his comment section if he's fucking and I sai

I dont blame you i blame the mod that you begged to push dis topic to FP "nplfmod" or whatever

I'm a comes to making relationship choices. For me attractiion has to come from my end otherwise I'll find it difficult to accept the individual.


There's this guy, very mature and. I'm sure will be older than me or we'll be of same age I love watching his contents on Facebook and what attracted me to him was one of his sit down videos where he talked about premarital sex and the dangers of engaging in it as a Christian. I was wowed that a dark handsome man like him could speak against such practices and his audience that day were youth and teenagers.

I began to observe him and noticed he addresses the youth more and is always teaching them moral and academic lessons. I somehow felt connected to him and one day summoned the courage to ask him if he's married. He didn't reply.

I recently came across his video again and asked him for the last time on his comment section if he's married and I sai

Myself and my senior at work were discussing on things that we will never do. However, he told me his spec was a dark lady with a big yansh and a pointed bwess. He said he can never date a chubby lady with stretch marks all over her body. And i told him that if smoking weed was the last fun in the entire planet i would rather stay bored.
And he argued that it was not possible. And that he to when he was younger he told his seniors that he would never smoke. But eventually when he was living alone, he got influenced and began to smoke weed. So he said if i began to live alone i would start smoking weed for one reason or the other. He even said it reduces depression and anxiety. I rejected it. Is he not trying to make a negative influence on me like that?

Who is the first person to text you "good morning" everyday? Is it your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, best friend, father, mother, brother, sister, school mate, co-worker and none etc. Who exactly?

I threw this question to other social media app. Suprisingly, most of them didnt get the puzzled question.
I want to see if NL users will get it.
What bat sleeps upside down? What BAT thinks upside down?