Saintmary:

Why are you bothered? You got yourself a live in midwife plus nanny.
This is how you can handle the situation:
Call your mother in law, ask her when she will be visiting, I'm sure she will tell you she will be around for the birthing. Say thanks Mummy.
Once she arrives, behave like you can't do anything, let her pamper you, complain of every sort of pain in the world, thank God it's your first baby. Do like JJC. No matter how hard you work at home, she won't be impressed, she's been there.
On your due date, scream like a banshee, keep mother and son on their toes, let her enter the labor room.
Once your baby is delivered, let mama take over, let her clean, cream, dress, and bathe the baby and wake up at night, keep your baby in the nursery, put your feet up, let her do all the work.
This is the result:
She will not stay for long, she will report you to everybody, she will not come running next time you are pregnant.
Do these:
Compliment her a lot, call her the best mummy, call all your family and his, tell them your MIL is the best, she allowed you to rest a lot, she did everything for you. Praise her a lot.
This is how you handle a nosy MIL.

She said her mother-in-law is a retired director with cash to burn. Thick madam. Used to giving orders?? Kai ma na...
Ain't you reading the whole stuff
Na that kain mama go they do those sh!ts,...ha!!! odiegwu
OP, be kiafu !!

cococandy:
Take it easy.

lol OK.

Can't she even wait till they are out of the birthing room? She want to see the vagina her sons are enjoying.
Perverted mother-in-law.
Imagine viewing your daughters-in-law vaginas all in the name of a wonderful grandmother bonding.
Closet lesbians everywhere
Wetin person no go see


Every other things you are experiencing are just the normal travails of Nigerian marriages. Deal with them with your common sense.

You should be glad your parents can afford rehab. Your mates are left to the harsh elements on the streets for rituals and organ harvests.

dalongjnr:
The greatest mistake I made in my marriage was involving 3rd party into it. Madam Ijeoma, pls be calm and chart a new coast.
I'm going to advice you as a father and a husband.
1.Be slow to anger,as a gentle tongue can break the hardest bone.
2. Be assertive concerning your marriage. They said it's not the bed of roses,so expect challenges and be strong to overcome them.
3. Know that your siblings love you but can stay in the marriage for you. Just make it work by yourself so that even if,they are not there, it will stand.
4. Know the temperament of your husband and adjust.
5. Know your excesses and lapses and work towards perfection.
6. Respect you husband and revered him as mandated by God.
7. Pray for your marriage as if your life depends on it.
8. Don't go to your parents home, go to his elderly ones and his uncle that he respect a lot, stay there until the issue is settled amicably.
9. Remember that you are young and growing, so, expect a misstep, but try and amend it.
At 30yrs, the guy is just becoming a man with a lot of expectations,responsibilities and uncertainties about himself and the marriage. He's there comparing and processing his single days and also confused about everything.
He may be seeing his EX and comparing them them to his wife. Mr Dantee , pardon the guy and let them grow to understand and stand for themselves, it's just 2 kid trying to be adults and parents. Just assist and don't be harsh on them. Sometimes, just persuade them in a gentle way to do the right thing. You na in-law, just be patient. They will grow and learn.

No word for the guy.
Did you see how you exonerated or rather, downplayed the atrocious acts of the husband and then turn around to heaped the "advice" on the victim?
She couldn't keep quiet any longer and had to voice out, now she has to endured being cowered and victimised with hypocritical advices too.

merahki:



Very boring thread. I have just one comment. The hospital fees are way too much
What did you baby have on her skin that cost that much in a government hospital?

Garki hospital is not a government hospital. It is one of the expensive hospital around with the quality of the services they offer. Research before you speak.

Whinny lazyass men that can't take care of their home.
If a woman is handicapped in running her household, this lazyass two-faced hypocrites will tell her husband to marry another wife or get a maid to help her out. They will never ask the man to pick up the slack of taking care of the household. Never!!
Now, they have come again.

So, following nairaland trends on issuing advices:::,
If you, as a man cannot pay your children school fees or at any point in the marriage, you cannot meet up with your own responsibilities, kindly get an assistant from your menservant or allow your wife to get another husband.

ZIMDRILL:



most of africans we are not financial intelligent thats why you find thats husband hide his salary, wife has no clue how much husband earns. husband take out a loan without wife knowledge, then down the line wife gets surprised when the bank, reposes the house due to that loan not being paid. All these its because wife has no clue to thr finances of the home due to both ignorant and the idea of being looked after without really taking part


most women became destitutes after being kicked out of marriage home, because they programmed themselves, to be property of the husband aka to be looked after, leaving everything to the men and to start hustling after being provided eveything for 10 years can be hard

As woman also add value to your marriage not by cooking and having kids only but by being also a financial provider if you gifted in any skill or qualification that can add value to the marriage

What then will be the duty of that man when the woman is practically doing all this.?
Cooking, rearing kids and being a financial provider

Same for all men who refuse to share chores. To hell to all of them

Kekereekun123:
This is why i can never marry a woman who doesn't spend or have her own money. Many guys are being scammed . When my father was very broke we had to beg our mum abroad for more than a month before she paid part of our fees. She was building her second house then. I am still pained today. Any women dat doesn't believe in sharing bill should go to hell

;DThose asking for the other side of the story.

E dey gidigba

MrEgghead:
You and I know the truth.
I respect Nurses and they're irreplaceable but you shouldn't demean our beloved profession.
If you know what it takes to gain admission into MBBS you'll not start comparing us with chemists that cannot spell their surname correctly.

Still didn't read.
Find someone else to argue with.
Thanks

MrEgghead:
Even with your level of education as a Polyvalent Nurse, you still use your hands to type this trash.
I'm a medical student and be that as it may, I can easily detect a quack with mere conversation.
A MBBS holder will always be one; there's no gainsaying about that.
If your know the level of training Medical students pass through, you'll not type rubbish.
And to impress you the more, Medical Doctors training is far distinct from any other professions bcuz that's what the profession demands.
Pls don't ever try such gibberish comparisons again.
If you have beef with any Doctor, settle it amicably because you'll eventually require a doctor's attention when you fall sick.

Not again.

Czartega:


I get it now, your hate for Doctors is a personal thing. I don't crave to be a nurse and I never will.

Didn't plan to rant, but your initial comment was with a lot of derogatory words so what I did was to try and explain.

I'm not trained to hate a patient because without them I'm jobless. Point of correction about your statement of quack doctors. Before one can qualify to be inducted and given the MBBS degree it means that one has met the requirements set by the MDCN (medical &dental council of Nigeria) to be a safe doctor in the sense that he knows what to do, what not to do, when to intervene, when not to, and when to refer. The so called quacks are either not doctors or medical students that might have failed out but still aspire to practice anyway.

About d auxiliary nurses doing surgery. I guess that I've told you that anyone can learn skills, and that's why nurses are replaceable because they have been exempted from a lot of theories that doctors have been subjected to. So when in the medical practice, nurses agitate to be on the same salary scheme as doctors or even try to be the CMD of a health facility, it hurts cause it's just like a sabotage. I may be thinking like this because I know what I went through and when someone tries to undermine this profession, I'll stand up to them.

I don't know why u hate doctors but I guess it's either
#you are a nurse, or someone related or close to you is a nurse,
# a MD broke your heart or
# you tried to be a doctor but couldn't.
It's basically the sequence of what perpetrates hatred to d profession. Adious!

i didn't read your write-up as I have had all this arguments since forever. And I am not going back and forth ever again as you must be a new grad.
The people that I argued for and against back in the day, are already consultants, NPs and senior colleagues in and outside the country.
The floor is open for you and your fellow wet in the ears medics.

[quote author=Czartega post=86300480][/quote]Wetin be this now.? Where is this rant coming from?
If you are not happy with what you are doing kindly get lost and allow people with human mentality to do the job.

The quakery you so much crave for nursing is already consuming your "beloved" profession.
As you are fully aware, the difference between a doctor with MBBS and a patent medicine dealer or quack doctors you train in your hospitals is theory. You also forgot that surgeons were at one time called barbers. Surgical skills can be learnt and performed by anybody damnit, even the so-called auxiliary nurses with millions of years in quakery can give a FWCS holder a run for their money in the operating room.

bnmbv:
You miss the point. I left out other danming things I could have said. Am I the one also responsible for the zero relationship between her family and her self. Am I the one responsible for her not able to have at least one single good friend ?

Why did you marry her after knowing all this in the first place?
Was she a PR or a citizen that made you so blinded to her excesses?
You made your bed sir, so kindly deal with it or back out.
It seems divorcing her will prolong your life but will leave you penniless, I presume? The decision is in your hands. Leave or stay, your choice.

Yeah right. I want to hear the wife's story too.

I doubt Saint OP has anything to his name.
They've all ganged up advising the saint to divorce his wife but will tell the woman to endure for the sake of the kids. Hypocritical Nigerians.

NurzCee:


No it won't. The ban was placed on visitors/business visa....

You are reading the wrong news. The ban is on immigration visas and the EB-3 visa that they issue to nurses is an immigration visa.

Me77:
That's why it is good to marry more than one wife. When madam starts misbehaving, doing whatever she likes and doesn't have time for you.
It is highly recommended to look for a younger fresh wife to start competition.
You'll see how each one of them will be fighting for your attention and doing their best to please you most. You will be spoilt of choices .

In this era of stabbing? Maybe you haven't heard
Marry the younger "beautiful "wife and I will use both of you as my driver and maid respectively. Who come suffer !!!!!!!
The only time it pains a woman that her husband is cheating or getting married is when she is so much in love with the man or overly dependent on the man. Presently, people just marry for the comfort and with the illusion of love. To some women, you can kill yaself for all they care.

Czartega:
Abeg I'd like to hear the doctor's side of the story. I can't fall for this overcooked story the nurse told, because I've had my own share of experience with a nurse. They are just next to the devil. For me we should replace nurses with auxiliary nurses that are more respectful to doctor's. How can you not read med&surg but you want to be ranked as equals! It's such a shame how doctor's due to the workload started to give up some aspects for other people to do.

You mindset is so poor that I am already puking my guts contents. If you are a doctor, I'd rather visit a native soothsayer for the rest of my life.
What nonsense.

pacretus:
Good for You, but same cannot be said of those who came from polygamous homes, jealousy, envy, and all kind of vices reside in the minds of most poor people(not all). Witch craft and voodoo are demonic practises which are part of most African cultures. If you believe there only exist the good without the bad, sorry to say you are insane. Only in villages do you hear of relatives wanting to take the properties of a deceaseds immediate family. In developed societies, no one cares about your existence let alone wanna harm you because of envy.

Your submissions are fallacious to say the least.
Village people dragging deceased properties both in the cities and the villages? Must be sophisticated villagers!! It never occurred to you that it was the city dwellers that informed the village people about the properties and it's papers? Ain't you speaking from both sides?
Exonerating your city people from their woes is a real hard job.

bukatyne:


@bold:

These people don't harm others because they are jealous or envious of them.

They swindle them of their hard earned money which can be replicated.

Oftern times, I think people who deny spiritual /demonic powers are perpetrators themselves who want more people to be unguarded and not take precautions.

How did you arrived at the emboldened?
Hard earned money which can be replicated? Are you kidding?
Ain't you holding brief for these criminals?
How are you sure that the cash can be replicated?
How about those that were killed in the process? Do ritualist now collect cash instead of killing their victims?
Are you trying to water down these crimes to facilitate the continued projection that there are village people. "Oftentimes in Nigeria nollywood imaginations" we had been lead wrongly to believe that there are people leaving in remote villages who are hellbent on rewriting people's destinies, maiming and killing for fun? These particular projections and continued focus on imaginary seen and unseen forces had caused lots of emotionally immatured minds not to own up to their mistakes and bad choices. Corrupt religious leaders are smiling to the banks because gullible followers has been brainwashed to believe this said tales.

If they died of complications of hypertension, cardiac arrest, diabetes, bad business choices, poor marital choices, even accidents due to bad roads, poor vehicle maintenance etc, na dia village people. Hilarious!!!!
Who do we villagers blame for our own woes too. I guess God. Quite saddening

jesmond3945:
you dont care because you are educated. We are talking of the uneducated ones who have hatred embedded in them and dont tell me if you see your childhood friend, who grew up with you in the village driving bentley, you would not habour some ting of envy in you. You might supress yours because of your level of education, others cannot.

And this same hatred happens to be nonexistent in the cities.? As if every city dwellers are doing great and all the said villagers are languishing in abject poverty.
As I mentioned somewhere, we are products of our own environment, living in the prison of our own creation and suffering from the figments of our absurd imaginations.

Nigga44:
hmmmmm

Some of you have been completely brainwashed.
I blame you not......it's just what you were told while growing up.

What about some of us that live in villages? I wonder with this your logic, how the hell are we still alive?

My point is that sometimes you need to unlearn somethings you learnt as a kid. Not all you hear are actually true. I stay in my village and I've never had any reason to be afraid of anything. Some of the best and most honest people I know are actually in the rural areas.
All the yahoo boys, fake pastors, corrupt politicians, ritualists and the likes don't reside in the villages. Change your mentality..... Visit just once and I bet you visit once every year atleast

Dont mind this people. The number of vices in their cities is enough to kill and dry them like stockfish.
Village people upandan.


Well, I am their village people and we are not going anywhere

Arrant bullshit!!!
Who know you for your village. Shouldn't it have occurred to this village people mongers that you can only kill or maim whom you know quite well or whom you are conversant with their itineraries.
This paranoia island is often created in gullible minds.
I am tired of this bull crap of singling out poor hardworking people residing humbly in their peaceful abodes, as witches and wizards, just because someone somewhere is sorta feeling paranoid.
Anyway, it says a lot about this paranoid and demented group of people especially when their purported villages resembles the Congo hinterlands, the Botswana desert-lands or the riverine areas of Kiribati. These city people are even forgotten as soon as they go back to base. I am from the village and I know what I am talking about, we don't give a hoot about anybody.

The developed cities, towns and villages of the world happens to be someone's "village" too. How come you do not attribute this attacks to the developed areas you reside in with your dysfunctional families and envious friends.? Is it because you have been programmed by some fvcked up psyche that poor or poverty means wizardry or witchcraft.??
It never occurred to this 21st century Spanish inquisitors that 95% of their enemies follows them from the city??

Vyolet:

There are financially independent women, who are 32 with more than 4kids, what faces you may be backing someone else and vice versa, it all depends on people you have met and mingled with.

You are sounding like being an housewife is bad, someone has to keep the home front while the other brings home money, it shouldn't matter who brings in more money but ofcourse, no man would want to cater for the home while his wife goes out to bring money hence the woman always have to be the one at home taking care of things.

Every family has what works for them, there is no standard to how a family should live their lives as, a family can work better if both husband and wife works, only the husband works or only the wife works, just pick what works for you and stick with it.
Do note that what you choose to work with is exclusive to you and shouldn't be forced on someone else.

Leave the unfortunate kid alone.
Him and his backup singer up � there are always stirring the hornets net out of misplaced frustration with the female gender.

nwanneni:
lol,at your age you still dey do "I have a friend".
A statement associated with failure worldwide.
I thought you wanted to tell me your age,the number of kids you have and the value you possess,not some third person crap any fool can concuct.
I turned 28 this year and boy I am grateful,atleast I afford not to use another person as reference,unlike you.
Face your website business in peace,university of liverpool and then?

Gotta quote this for posterity.
I have always known whenever I read from a jobless Nigerian yoot that still feeds from mama's crumps.

We4all:


Sometimes, when you talk without thinking, you end up making a fool of yourself. You obviously didn't read what brought about the initial talk of expressing breast milk, and you jumped right into it because you also want to be heard.

W.H.O. is advocating for exclusive breastfeeding just like religious are against abortion. Regardless, Nigeria has one of the highest rates of abortion prevalent cases. If women in Nigeria love babies so much, then why abort in the first place?

Now, you are digressing

We4all:


Like I said before:"Learn to understand first before commenting. I wasn't talking about 'babies', but a particular 'baby' who is old enough to take cereals.

Yes, orphaned babies may be used to feeding from a bottle, and I'm saying that no baby will die if he/she doesn't get breastfed for a few hours.

Mothers should learn to practice both breast and bottle feeding, so babies can easily adopt to them in case of emergencies. Parenting encompasses a whole lot, and a mother who can't improvise isn't ready to be a mother yet.

Just shut the hell up cos you know nothing.
The WHO and paediatric associations that has been promoting baby friendly initiatives by ensuring a conducive environment for mothers and babies are not fools. But here you are, trying so hard to take us back to the stone age of infant malnutrition and death.

The initiatives has come a long way with great success.
Recently through the advent of baby friendly and exclusive breastfeeding, mothers are now willing and proud to breastfeed their babies without being mocked like in the past centuries where the rich had to employ wetnurses to nurse their babies because breastfeeding was seen as not fashionable and gross.
Expression of breastmilk are for those mothers who has the means of storing them. These mothers are often the rich and the middle class in our society whom you will never see breastfeeding in public. Same can't be said of babies whose mothers do not have the means to preserve the milk.

When you have a baby, do not breastfeed on demand, breastfeed only when there is nobody about and we will know how many of your kids that will survive infancy without protein-energy- malnutrition.

We4all:


Thanks for your input! But why didn't your sister express the breast milk into a sterilized bottle before her departure? She knew she had a baby, but was not proactive enough to come up with a back up plan in case the baby rejected the cereals.

The truth is, most parents know next to nothing about parenting and think they can just jump right into parenthood. Like I said in my post, it is wrong and distasteful to expose boobs in public all in the name of breastfeeding a child. What about kids who lost their mothers during childbirth? How do you think they cope?

As for your last point: Well, no one wants to be told that sex wasn't created for pleasure. But that doesn't change the fact that it is, what it is!

Express the milk and put it inside GUO or PMT motor fridge . Better be realistic here, Oga.

fendorf:
We got our case complete after 8weeks.they rejected my wife’s police report after 4 weeks.we resent the same PCc and got the final case complete today. Exit Interview date loading....

Congrats sir. Winter landing loading!!!!!!!

Babygal2020:

See the exact message I sent him:
Good afternoon Oga Emeka.... I intended coming to ur house two days ago but learnt you had gone out. I'm so sorry for shouting at u d oda day. Pls forgive me.
On a normal day, I can never shout at him. Pregnancy can make one to be aggressive.
You can google it.

You see . You are not apologetic at all, you are still blaming pregnancy. You just appeared apologetic because your husband wouldn't have non of it. Pregnancy does a lot of things but it doesn't make people rude. We are who we are, ma'am.