₦airaland Forum

I expect your mom to have drawn a line and put a stop to this all these years.She's in the best position to stop the abuse.

Talk to your dad too 'man-to-man'.Age should have made him mellow.

Incrizz:
I only tried to listen to Hinn once, i immediately knew there was something wrong. I later got to hear he was Oyakhilome's mentor and I went "aha".
Scripture says, "They will secretly introduce destructive heresies" 2Peter 2:1
Most of the whole of their messages are true but this is strategic; so that when they introduce the heresies, you will hardly know except by your Spirit led knowledge of The Word!
The Scripture concerning seven women holding unto one man in the end time to say let us just bear your name, is not about man and women but Christ and the church!
Churches will only desire and bear the name of Christ, use the name of Christ becase they know people love the Bearer of the name BUT they, these Churches, would want nothing to do with the Bearer of the name, Christ Jesus Himself.

When you go to these Churches, there is no Christ or His presence there, only hypnotises and slavery!

Whenever your Pastor teaches you anything that feels strange, weigh it with The Holy Spirit and The Word of God and pick God's over all, ALL THE TIME.

If you donot have the Holy Spirit of God as well as study your Bible, I pity you with a lot of compassion.

Don't believe everything you hear especially as a Christian.Wigglesworth,some other man I can't remember and Arch Ben Idahosa were pastor Chris' mentors.

4everGod:
@Thesixthsense for the first time in a while I will disagree with you even though I agree with certain portions of your writeup but the whole message is wrongly packaged and would rather create chaos in the body and not light.

Peronally thr book " Goodmorning Holy Spirit" helped me in my early Christian days but I learnt early to balance everything using Scriptures from the Bible so I filtered every book using the Bible.

I had to understand the value of thr Holy spirit before I sought for Him and received the baptism of the Holy ghost and the gifts of word of knowledge, gift of faith and working of miracles.

What your message should have focused on is on motive! Why do we do what we do? Why do we seek what we seek? There are many true believers under the tutelage of Benny Hinn and many who have come from Oral Roberts...People like the Late Benson Idahosa who I came from are examples.

Benny Hinn seeking the anointing on Kathryn could have been based on desire and belief that if Same could happen between Elijah and Elisha then he could get same.

Some people are redical with desire but how you would know they are on track are by their fruits or via discernment. Your switching off moment has happened a lot to me as well but I do not let that give me an "I am better than you" attitude or an "I am holier than you" attitude. I rather channel my strenght towards praying for them even more and not bashing them.

Not everything about a mans walk with God is open for us to see but his manifestations are and yes sometimes God can demand a seed for a harvest and the Holy spirit can witness same to many others listening and they would jump on it but if you switched off at that point how are you sure u were not being either emotional or the seed time was not for you at that time?

Surely you have sown in other places...surely you have given to the needy....Sowing for a believer is not to be seen as sowing but as giving. ..God is not a gambler.

its not too late to take down the thread. The whole essence of our message is Love and not division and further divisions. All you have written here has been captured by Paul in much of his books in the bible so let those with the spirit of the berean Christians read it and allow the Holy Spirit to open their eyes to the truth.

This platform is a mixed multitude platform and the owner being an atheist has quickly pushed this to front page and I believe that it may be a ploy to further say .."I was right..the church is messed up" and you are encouraging it.

Let us all be mindful of our moderation brother.

God bless you.

I couldn't have said it better.Very well balanced.
The Op's thread sure speaks of certain things wrong in some churches but it is not balanced.
The bolded is my position on giving too.Sure some pastors exploit giving but it is scriptural and works.It has worked for me.

EfemenaXY:
So true. I was going to ask if he was given any receipt for his "expenses"?

Scary stuff though. One might argue he gave all of that out of his own free accord especially as a gun wasn't held to his head.

But then again, there comes the issue of self respect. Call me old fashioned, but if a girl isn't interested in a man, she should have the decency to say "No", firmly to his advances, making it crystal clear there's no future between them and she should reject his "gifts" outright.

Accepting such without any real interest in the man sends off mixed messages which could backfire.

And some men sef equating love = money.

Smh.

Some men(especially those advanced in age)try to 'buy' love and spend money freely trying to win over the lady or the family.It works for some(if the girl or family is greedy).
Only few girls who know their worth and have self-respect reject 'free' money nowadays.

Op,I'm a Christian who believes in divine healing but I do not agree with your write-up.
The bible doesn't teach what you have written up there.

Autopsy...wetin kill am?

There was no written contractual agreement here on expenses so legally there's nothing to pay back.
Thruth be told however,why did the family collect all that money from him?

1k001:
So now it's the victims fault that he didn't volunteer information when the pharmacist elected to change his drug. This kind of attitude is not professional and frankly is deadly.

The onus is always on the professional to prevent any untoward outcomes. Patients don't know what they don't know, that's why they come to a professional who knows to guide them.

There was everything wrong with what the pharmacist did!

I have it there in my statement that the pharmacist ought to have asked questions.However,the victim in question had a condition that he should tell every health professional he comes across.It's helping the health professional help you better.
Conditions like asthma,ulcer,reaction to certain drugs etc should be things you volunteer even at first contact.

charijee:
[color=#CD1076]That's terrible!

They left their window open while making love [/color]

It's because of the heat.

joseph1832:
If you don't see any issue in an uncle sponsoring a man's wife in her education, then you shouldn't see any issue if that uncle start fucking_ her.

How many uncles sleep with their nieces guy?

There's no issue here oga.
You knew she's a catholic from the beginning.Catholics prefer to wed in their churches and you need to go through the marriage requiremens too in the church.You should have been prepared for that.
I don't see any issue with an uncle sponsoring your fiance's education after marriage as long as he's not a sugar daddy.
The issue of not laying your hands on her should not even be a point.

Go ahead as long as you are sure of your fiancee's love and commitment.

Rape should be taken as a very serious offense in Nigeria with a weighty punishment.

Till then,rapists will think they can get away with their evil.

shadeyinka:
Ask the ladies who are "wailers": Does wailing reduce the pain? Or does wailing make the pain more bearable?

I guess it does.I compare it to shouting in sports when you throw a hammer,a javelin or lift weights.

Make she wail if she want o,dem no dey arrest any woman in labour for wailing.
It's a way to get some relief,let out some steam.

shadeyinka:
Aren't a man supposed to be a MAN? Facing up to his responsibilities.

Did he not impregnate his wife, why should he allow the woman alone to stand the sight of her own blood!

LOL

I understand for most responsible men it not actually about the blood but the feeling of helplessness. There is nothing you can do then to help your wife.

Men would probably help do the delivery of their child for their wives if they could

Not staying in the labour room doesn't make a man not to be 'man enough'.

Well,it's her blood.

Some men will probably kill the baby in the process of delivery if they were involved in the process.
Do you know that some doctors are not even involved in the delivery of their own babies?

joyAA:
Yea, I'm trying to take care of them the best way I can, and it's been all good.
The updated story excludes a lot of frustration and disappointment but in all, I'm not where I used to be, and I know I'm headed somewhere great. Thanks

Yea,I know there would have been a lot of frustrations but things are definitely better than before.Keep your head up.

Compelled?
Not everyone can stand the sight of blood or the trauma of childbirth.It doesn't mean they don't love or care about their wives.

Psycho!
His wife should have helped him get treatment or run for her life.

NairaMaster1:
Ok, have ever heard of congenital kidney? The herdsman was born with a congenital kidney (just one kidney located at the lower abdomen) so check your biology text books and see the location of a normal kidney. The abnormal kidney presented as a gangrinous mass. Doctors are not as you think. If he wanted the guy dead it's as simple as ABCD.

Even if it was a congenital kidney abnormality and the kidney had to be removed,the victim should not have been left in the dark.

Mistake?
Even biology students will recognise a kidney.
There's a conspiracy here.

joyAA:
#sigh... It really was a difficult time, but I'm glad I'm in a better place atm. I graduated from uni, currently rounding off service, uni was sponsored entirely by mom, thank God for her!
Stuff got worse for my Dad- I can't even begin to say how bad, but I know all will be well...after all, he's still my dad, wish I could do more than I'm doing for him and mom.
I've dealt with all the confusion, hatred depression, sadness, low self esteem and all, I'm a better person.
#betternotbitter
#thebestrevengeissuccess
Thank you all for the advice

I just saw your thread and I celebrate with you that you have pulled through.
I'm happy you're not bitter or full of revenge.You can b e on your own and not have to deal with all those confused cele church people and your stepmother.
Take care of your parents(forgive them,they were ignorant).

Most importantly,please take your time before rushing to marry.Lay a very good foundation first.Get to know the guy well.

I wonder why he's still sitting down there.He should have been wisked to a hospital.

I hope they can still save that leg.

Domestic abuse.
Woman seek justice.Petition his bank,civil rights lawyers and first lady of Lagos and the CJ.He should pay for his crime.

Greenbullet:
just imagine his speed on FIFA will be 41

Haha

Onegai:
What does a SMALL BOY LIKE YOU know about such weighty matters, hmm better go and find a Tonto Dike thread with the rest of your mates or go and write JAMB

I've written JAMB ma but I'm awaiting results.I'm here to while away time.

tearoses:

Nairaland has turned me into just laughing out loud just all of a sudden.
People think I am mad

LOL

ijeshaboy:
how old are u?

Just 16yrs.

Some African players take things to the extreme.He's supposed to be a striker but won't even be able to chase balls.

Onegai:
Lillypearl, I knew a child who also started having seizures. It does happens to babies and they actually sell the medicine for it here. I don't want to mention it here to avoid you attempting to self-medicate. However, tell your present doctor to refer you to LUTH or UCH. You need a Consultant Pediatrician who will refer you to a Neurologist. They need to diagnose what's wrong.

I think you should get on Facebook and locate your husband. Send him a simple message: "Hello I hope you've been well. I'm sorry for cutting off all contact, I felt it was the best way to handle our situation at that time. However, there is something going on now: our out daughter is sick. She's getting treatment. I wanted to inform you so you could decide if you would like to visit her and check up on her. We will not discuss our marriage but please let us focus on being good parents for her during this trying time. I'll understand if you need a bit of time to understand what's going on but this is not the time for us to argue or trade blame. Thanks".
Don't ask for money, when he comes around, then share your concerns about her medical bills only and accept that afterwards if he does pay towards her upkeep, he gets to visit her and spend time with her.

As for marriage, you need to sit down and look inward: how could I have done things better, what am I willing to do and what can I accept and what can I change and where are my boundaries? Do I need to be slower to anger and rashness, do I need to speak up when need be and be concise, do I need to be more conciliatory, do I need to be firmer on some things and learn how to communicate better my needs, do I need to learn how to be more understanding and cut him a break? Those are questions that have answers that must come from within.

It may never work with him, but at least you owe it to yourself to make you a better person so you can be a better mother. If along the way, he brings up a reconciliation, ask him what he wants from a marriage and explain what you want.

All the best.

Lillypearl,Onegai has said everything.Take your child to a teaching hospital so you can see a consultant paediatrician/neurologist and you wouldn't have to spend a lot of money(except time).

Look for your hubby,search facebook,look for mutual friends,reach out mainly because of your daughter.

Your background may have contributed to how your marriage turned out and the fact that it was a long distance relationship but you can take an introspective look at yourself and see how you can improve as a person.

Mindfulness:
Not at all.

Your advise is not for the faint-hearted as you said.

Ishilove:
Not really. It's called 'Oedipus Complex' and it has nothing to do with dating married men. It's just a preference for much older men because they feel men in their age group are too immature.

Loveslife, I used to be like that when I was younger. I felt much older men are a repository of knowledge and experience. I had this yearning to see and understand the world through older eyes, and older men provided that telescope. But as I grew older it just sort of left my system...maybe because my eyes got older too, I could now form certain opinions and reflect more deeply on my own, so I didn't have that urgent need anymore.

I have a feeling your sis is an old soul, but be that as it may, 5 children is a lot to handle, and come on, let's face it, the man isn't looking for love again. He's looking for a helper and companion. If she goes ahead, she should not expect passion or romance. He will be more like a sturdy, weather beaten rock who has seen it all. She may feel stifled, and when the teenagers start acting up with the headiness and arrogance that come with blossoming youth, she may not be able to handle them.

3 months is also quite a short time to be talking about marriage. I advise she waits till 6 months, PRAYING and WATCHING.

The Oedipus complex has always been there I guess but it made her date men who were far older than her.

[quote author=loveslife post=49504805][/quote]Not your sister but the lady I said is like your sister.She eventually married a man 28yrs older than her.