₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
My sister, I wonder if elderly women like Florence Ita-Giwa experienced menopause at all. From what I heard that woman is a straff-machine, and she prefers young and energetic men

Menopause reduces libido in women but bodies are not the same and there are some who still have urges into their 60s.There are women who work on theirs too because they see no reason to quit..There are drugs to take care of that.
I'm sure someone like Ita-Giwa will have a sex therapist.She will get lube to take care of dryness and keep herself in top shape.
Women her age who are still in the game prefer young energetic men,of course.What's the point trying with men who have challenges getting it up or can't last 10mins?

Ishilove:
Ehen! 200k for a intimacy gadget... Na wa o

This sex matter is a lot more serious than I imagined.

To the side note, 'elder' and 'night club' should not be in the same sentence. It's an oxymoron

It is.People are ready to pay heavily as long as they can get what they dream of.

Didn't they court?They seem not to be compatible.
However,they both seem not to be working on their marriage.Even as an introvert,the man ought to come out of his shell now that he has a wife at home.A married man must talk!

If you can reach out to the wife,tell her to come back and talk to both of them.I'm sure their families will talk to them too. I think the wife has the bigger issue.Why did she decide to marry someone she really doesn't fancy?A lot of women don't like extremely quiet and introverted men and often you can't change such men.You just have to decide as a lady that it is what you can live with which might not be the case.

That friend you saw with the wife is a sign she doesn't keep good company and she is like her friends.

Christian minister?More like an impersonating minister.

Ishilove:
Ha, Oga Thorpido, when I saw the heading I bin tink sey na ya madam don retire from the game

Hahaha.My madam just dey enter peak period o.She no fit retire now.

KingEbukaNaija:
The son looks like Arsenal's Iwobi

They are cousins.

The lady didn't scream?Was it just the two of them in the clinic?

I feel for their parents.They must have used all these locally made insecticides that are mixed with all sorts.
People need to be careful with pesticides and insecticides especially unbranded ones.

5minsmadness:
Very true.
You know when these women hit menopause a lot of them experience drying of the vaginal mucosal and hence more lubrication is needed to enjoy sex. If oga is a wham-bam-thankyou ma'm kind of guy, sex will become pain for her instead of pleasure. I think a good sexual therapy session will help in this case.

You're right.If the technique is poor,it can lead to frustration on the part of women.
I've heard quite a number of women who say they help themselves(not cheating).That's why romance machines are getting good sales.

5minsmadness:
Oga thorpido what was your advice? Did you dismiss them cos thier an elderly couple, or did u ask for hormone assay for the woman? The issue might actually be medical, u know.

Let her do oestrogen /progesterone, ask about hot flushes, give her evening primrose, get a female doctor (who has an open mind o) to talk to her about her sexual health concerns. A depth of treasure could be found if u dig deeper.

The woman wasn't present but i asked the husband if she had seen a gynaecologist and he said no.
I suspect it's a combination of having a low sex drive and getting unsatisfactory performance from her husband.

STFUareyouG0d:
Bros you didn't read the part op said "During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out."

It's not about not listening or consulting God before marriage. It's about being able to stand temptations. We've seen many men of God with marital problems that's led many of them to divorce. We are not infallible. We are humans

Men are dangerous. The can pretend for as long as possible just to get what they want.

From op's post, she sounds like someone who is closed to God and must have prayed over it before getting married to him. But now that things aren't working fine, are we gonna blame God?

It's true that you can't know everything about someone even while dating but if you seek God's face and you are smart enough,you will see the 'skeleton' of who that person is.Character is like smoke,there's just so much you can do to cover it up.You can't hang around me for long and I won't be able to tell to a great extent what you can do or not do.

Hiding an issue as serious as low sperm count is another big issue.

Ishilove:
I don't understand. Is it that people don't seek to know the will of God again before marrying?

Ishi,they don't.This generation isn't patient enough to wait for God in matters of marriage.
Why would anyone marry someone who doesn't listen to you,gets angry easily,not committed to his faith and is a wife beater?It seems people don't spend their courtship learning about the other person but just having fun.

I had a client today at work who came for some treatment.One thing led to the other and I asked him about his sexual life.He said, well that aspect has issues.I asked him how and he said his wife no longer sleeps with him.
One day the wife said she was no longer having sex,that she is retired.She says she's a grandmother now and sees no reason to still,'raise her legs up'.He told me it was a serious issue that he reported to the church elders and she was summoned.Right in their midst,she still insisted she was no longer interested and he was free to find a way to take care of himself.

So guys(well men don't retire,i would have asked the ladies),what happens if someday,your wife says she's done with sex?

*by the way the couple are in their early 50s.

Crazy cultures and ignorance.

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it. I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

By using your legs......as in walk away.
If you really think the relationship makes you unhappy and is choking you,simply let him know you can't continue that way.You've got a possessive guy and he won't change.I wonder what marriage will be like with someone like that.
As for your family,let them shout.You're the one who's going to be in the marriage anyway.A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.Simply let them know it won't work.

Your own don be.You sef wan be big boy.

She should get her tubes tied.

Nairagara falls.

Na wa.At 50yrs old she'still 'cutting shows'?

chikajesus:
Sorry I am just reaching out now,getting online is not so easy because of light issues.Thanks to all that reached out with words of encouragement.I have decided to follow someone advice to seek help both with the NGO, and also for them to taake my baby to an orphanage home which is ok so I can pick my life back.i. will have access to the child as we agreed.I am already going through a process,in as much as I need help but I think this option is best.Thanks to all,may God see me through.Thank you Mr .............

Alright.You can give us a feedback on progress made.

Adaobi12:
Thanks everyone for your suggestions.
I sent for the father on monday( i gave the son a note to give to him)
on tuesday, their father's sister came instead.
i actually thought it was their mother, she told me that the brother was too busy to come. So i started by telling her how the boy sleeps in class, neglects his homework, his tattered look and not coming to school with snacks.
She opened and told me that the problem is that the brother won't let anyone near his kids. That she has come many times to takr the kids to leave with her but he won't let her.
I asked about the brother's wife, she said she will rather not talk about her.
I explained to her that the brother is really doing a bad job in taking care of the boys, the dangers of leaving them all alone at night, starving them etc. She said she knows, infact their parents knows and has called the man many times to either advise him or better still let the children come leave with them.
She then assured me that she will do everything within her power to address the issue. Infact she will take the kids with her back to Enugu after our exams today, whether the brother likes it or not.
She appreciated my concern and left.

So, my prayer is, let her keep to her word about addressing the issue.

I still collected their mum's contact, who knows i might still need it.
Though i won't be seeing the boys again till next term.

Let's see if the sister keeps her promise and does something positive.If the kids come back next term with no change,you will have to invite social workers to get on his case.

edwife:
OP It is a long one but i don't want to summarise as everything is as important as the other. This is not just about you the husband but for both, your wife should also worry and not just allow the mantra "I am too exhausted for sex" to be an excuse. You both should sit down and discuss it.It is affecting you as well as it should affect her. The only problem I have with you is your threat of infidelity, Mr it won't solve anything!

If I go by many here, i could also say maybe she has reached Perimenopause or menopause - oh yes some women reach this phase in their 30s or after all she has had 3 kids,she is probably the one who is no longer small down there because she wasn't sleeping when you both got married before,was she? Or is she fat now? See i can't say all these stuff because i know this is a common experience among married couple who have kids and busy; they lose the passion,motivation and creativity.

This is something I got long ago because one needs to prepare and know how to handle stuff like this especially if you want to keep your relationship exciting.It is a long one but very educative.

Good piece.

What is written on the picture is that she gave birth to 11 baby girls.Op i don't know where you saw boys in your write-up.

.....But 11 girls?Whao,that's the US female soccer team.

LuveU2:
We caused this.
This is what happens when people look down on themselves.

How did you cause this?

Does the wife work?It seems the wife doesn't want to do anything about the situation probably because she depends solely on him for money.
Unfortunately,she(they)have to seek help first.

muhamadnur:
thanks sir i will try That.

I just saw your pictures.Just visit the teaching hospital in Maiduguri.

Slayed the look?Can't even define what she's wearing.

What kind of work does your wife do and how much work does she handle - including domestic work?

Visit a hospital where they have an orthopaedic surgeon.It is possible you have a cruciate ligament injury.

You can indeed marry her but you put yourself at the risk of contracting the virus.Yes there are positive and negative couples living together but it requires a very high level of discipline.
I know how love works,it's like strong liquor and a man feels nothing is important under the influence until he is sober.
If you were to be my younger brother,I'll shake you till you snap out of this infatuation.

Iyabetojas,bromocriptine can make you dizzy and combining it with moduretic can give you fainting spells.You need to be placed on minimal dose of bromocriptine initially and taken only at bed time till your body adjusts to it.
If you still have fainting spells,talk to your doctor let him re-evaluate and maybe adjust your drugs/dosages.