₦airaland Forum

Dammytrager:
*Carries a pale of conc H2SO4 water n wets d birthday boy

Captain Timmy here is ur birthday song
Happy birthday 2 u,
happy birthday 2 u!
u were born in d zoo’
u were born in d zoo’
with d monkeys ‘n donkeys dats looks just like u!

hahaha!!!

May God fill your birthday with smiles and happiness, and may you always know you are one of His special children!

happy bornday lecturer

God bless my awesomest student. He keeps teaching us about responsibility and humility while having fun.
God bless you.

When will the cross multiplication take place?
Btw, are you sure the variable on your side is a whole number?

Chiamaka01:
Come back here, jor.
You'd better go and hold Kemi tight, so that she won't be snatched from you.

Is that the yoruba version of your name?

Chiamaka01:
What? That is child abuse! Does he do it to only indigenes or any inhabitant of Oyo?

Chiamaka01:
What? That is child abuse! Does he do it to only indigenes or any inhabitant of Oyo?

Chai......Chiamaka, this issue isn't as elaborate as people make it seem. It's something that happens everywhere in as much as the wife snatcher is rich and influential.

People mostly take a lot of historical stories they have heard and their dramatic minds mixes the stories up with real life occurrences.

Don't let yoruba girls bobo you oh They are good at that

*runs outta thread*

understatement:
it still happens.And it is oyo not ibadan..The alaafin of oyo can have any woman/lady that pleases him.Nobody can do anything to him..He is very powerful politically so the police are under his foots.In those days,when he snatches your wife you have to run away from town,because if u are caught,u wld be castrated and made to work in the palace pounding yam for ur ex-wife..lol..He is old now so he doesn't do dat again,but the picture of his smallest wife that I saw on net recently,hardly will she be older than you!

Haaaaaa!!!! Understatement baba...small small now and I thought your name was understatement.

It's like you stopped liking the name and decided to make us know today.

Anyway, I think a lot of what you say is true but I think people tell a lot of exaggerated versions of these stories.

Like I said earlier, any woman leaving her husband or getting married to this monarchs must have been lured with wealth or threatened in some cases but I don't think the occurrence is common to only yoruba monarchs or even monarchs. Rich men do it all the time.

Chiamaka01:
And if the girl isn't interested Can't she report to the police?

That doesn't happen again.


The fair girls part cracked me up.
Why only fair girls?

DrHost:
It true............ To Timmy happy birthday, Bigger, brighter and better you IJN

Thanks sir.

Chiamaka01:
Do the Yoruba monarchs actually take people's wives? In this century?

Ahn han........not anymore oh Back then, human rights wasn't really existing. The Monarchs had supreme power, they made and broke laws.

The only way that would happen now is with the consent of the woman in question.

Fela had over 30 wives.
KSA has about 6 wives.

I'm sure at least one of these women must have abandoned her husband for affluence and wealth.

haydot95:
wicked

I really didn't mean to.....








But what the heck.......it's fun

dejii01:
Whatever makes you sleep at night.

Be a good boy now.......It's my birthday, was that what I taught you?

Chiamaka01:
Thank you! You're being nice because it's your birthday, though.

No oh.....I'm turning a new leaf....




























A new banana leaf.....

haydot95:
noted

Trouble maker.........

haydot95:
kings do...and for today,u re the king

Lol...okay now, for today

After today......I politely decline.

haydot95:
Morning y'all...and happy birthday to our very own chief manipulator...the troublemaker,no...troubleseeker,and olowo ori chiamaka #no b me talk am o...anyways,ogbeni Timmytimmy,happy baiday!

The dude that has a knack for saying the craziest things in the weirdest ways possible.

Thanks for the generous compliments but I hope you know that the yoruba people don't collect other people's wives anyhow. Keep your wife abeg

God bless you.

understatement:
HBD..LLNP

I remember the time I was sent to your barracks after you did a little something.

I waited for a Loooooooooong time and your barrack goons kept peering at me.

God bless you sir......it's my prayer your gift of lightening damp spirits won't ever leave you.

dejii01:
Happy Birthday Bro!!!

I haven't met you personally but I feel like we've known each other for very long.

Very very very troublesome. We have that in common although compared to me, close but no cigar.

God bless you, Alfa Deji I have a feeling OAU will be a lot of fun.

uumm:
I think the entire nairaland populace can attest to the fact that you're way "naughtier" than me.. happy by-day

Thanks a lot.....You're one of the few I know personally here. First time we met, I recall that I was explaining to someone how hard BCP students would have to read and you just sat there smiling.

Then came the test, and you beat the crap out of us.
God bless you.....Abundantly and beyond your imagination.

joshlayi:
Happy Birthday Bro TimmyTimmy. You've been loyal to the thread. *thumbs up*

Thanks a lot bro......Even though the loyalty stemmed from joblessness. .

God bless you.

Chiamaka01:
Happy Birthday, Timmytimmy! Why did you edit your birthdate? America will know. I wish you long life, prosperity and a job in the military.

Madame Margaret Thatcher, God bless you abundantly. God bless your trouble making, geeky ministry!
Believe it or not, you've influenced with us with your eccentricity and genius. Thanks a lot.


No military oh please....

Benvolio:
lighting candles. ...hapi birthday to u..hapi birthday to u....hapi to u TimmyTimmy. ..lala la la tu lu! !! make ur wishes bro!

Benvolio:
*[/b]I fink I shud actually congratulate chiamaka instead of TimmyTimmy*my thinking ni o*my thinking ni o*

Thanks bro.....God bless you enormously.

Is that my gift?

haydot95:
Morning y'all...and happy birthday to our very own chief manipulator...the troublemaker,no...troubleseeker,and olowo ori chiamaka #no b me talk am o...anyways,ogbeni Timmytimmy,happy baiday!

understatement:
HBD..LLNP

XXX5:
HBD bro.. wullnp

haydot95:
Morning y'all...and happy birthday to our very own chief manipulator...the troublemaker,no...troubleseeker,and olowo ori chiamaka #no b me talk am o...anyways,ogbeni Timmytimmy,happy baiday!

Awwwwww...... Thanks guys, I feel loved.
God bless you all.

It's my birthday.........Hallelujah Sombori! !!!

Chiamaka01:
'...triple in size'? Is that not a blatant lie? Anyway, enough derailing.

"Lies" are a function of our personal experiences and knowledge.
It's a lie to you.

Like he said:

tobeykush:
I wouldn't say blatant...

pelumhee:
Thanks for this..God bless you

You're welcome.

toluwalope1:
.slimy.very slimy

iyanma........Thank God say na only only wire and conc H2SO4 dey slimy for my side.

Where is that naughty uumm?

Chiamaka01:
Why did you do that? Stop trying to embellish it.

Embellish?

No oh.....I said the truth. Our tisha e yave tish us to always be say the truth

2) YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THE TIMES

The Bible speaks about the sons of Isaachar that understood the times. They planted crops the right time, took care of cattle at the right time and entertained themselves at the right time.

For you to be at the top of your game, you must understand the place of time management and calculated effort. Don't follow anyone, I repeat, don't follow anyone. Take the first two weeks to study your body chemistry and know when your brain is at its sharpest and at it's dullest.

You must understand that the time you have to read in Pre degree is hardly sufficient because what you have learnt from SS1- SS3 will be cramped together and you are expected to survive. Yeah! Its a tough life.

For this reason, you must know when your body will be at its full full capacity to absorb knowledge and then you strike while the iron is hot. You must also know when to sleep and when to gist and when to cook and eat.
For the boys, their problem will likely be girls and for the girls, your problem will likely be gist.
Let discipline be your watchword!

Lemme propose to you some tips in this area :

I) The best time to read is when you're just waking up, your brain will be amazingly fresh. Don't start cooking or praying for hours by this time. Grab some Maths and demolish it.

II) Sleep when you're meant to sleep. I beg you in God's, if you aren't a night reader, sleep at night. Reading at night is over rated. Most people deceive themselves at this time. The fact that you read at night doesn't mean you're serious or hard-working.

III) This one is very important. Take advantage of the free bits of time in between your time table. You won't notice but most of you will spend this short spans of time goofing around in class. Please leave the hall and engage yourself vigorously. If you do this, you'll sleep peacefully at night.

Stay glued.......More to come.

toluwalope1:
.nothing special.its just a pound of flesh(muscles),just like any oda organ but then has the ability to double it's original size (triple in some cases) and create life while effecting a tremendous amount of pleasure.

It has also been the the downfall of many a great man.

Keep calm and dissect it

No pressure whatsoever.

uumm:
this boy's looking for trouble.. anyway..

www.texasescapes.com/CentralTexasTownsNorth/Pluto-Texas.htm

and that is how to embarrass your Sunday school........



Read the whole of Psalms and submit a 10pages of A1-paper summary next Friday.

CONTINUATION OF PSEUDO-READING.

Look at the formula below :

Actual work done = Intensity of focus × time spent.

Mr A reads in Pavilion for 5 hours but then there is a hot chic reading directly behind him. Also, Mr Bayo seems to be angry today as he is embarrassing people not wearing ID cards.Mr A is reading Stoichiometry but all the things happening around him seem more interesting than stoichiometry. Let's assume the intensity of focus has a scale of 1-10. Needless to say he would have a focus of 1. The brain would choose chics over Chemistry anyday so........he ends up not doing much in a whooping 5 hours.

Applying our formula : 5 × 1 = 5
Work done is 5.


Miss B wants to take advantage of the short break hence she is hiding by a safe spot behind Lecture Theatre D. There is hardly any distraction here.
Short break is 1 hour but her focus is on a scale of 9 as the stoichiometry has just been taught in class and it has bee troubling her since secondary school.
She locks up and engages her mind actively with only chemistry.
Applying formula :
9 × 1 = 9

She has just done the impossible. She created a work done of 9 with a time of 1 hour.
You're now wiser. Don't pseudo-read.

uumm:
on behalf of dammy, let me return the bubble bursting favour..
he said he schooled in pluto, and not "planet pluto".. so even though there's no planet named Pluto, how sure are you that there's no other place on earth named pluto?

Chai.......

Bro Micheal, diariz God oh.

I wee not talk sha.


But I'll say this , the only POPULAR place we all know named Pluto is actually a sphere of ice.

Or do you know about any pluto in Akwa-Ibom?

Firstly, I want to commend my fellow ex-predites for their indefatigable and tireless efforts in steering you towards a clear path. I know their rewards are in Great Ife.

They have already spoken about focus, hardwork,determination and every other psychological aspect so I won't say much about that. By this time it should be clear that it's a herculean task that has been set before hence you must build the inner strength for this.

I'll talk more about practical and non-negotiable trends that I observed amongst the very successful ex-predites. I implore you to read it and digest it.

1) FLEE FROM PSEUDO-READING

What do I mean by pseudo-reading?

You'll meet a variety of students on this journey. You'll meet those who read and don't show it and you'll meet those who make a big event of studying and reading. They make noise all day about how much they have read, answer all the questions in class and attend night-classes. On the outside, they seem like the serious ones but really all the things they do is to help them create a psychological deception that they are doing useful work. They do these things to convince their minds and every other person that they are hard-working.

I warn you now, DON'T BE LIKE THIS AND AVOID MOVING WITH STUDENTS LIKE THIS.

They are the ones who make a big show of reading in the rotundas and pavilions while watching everything in the least bit entertaining that passes before their eyes. My fellow ex-predites can attest to this.

They jump from one church to the other with the intention of reading but don't get any work done throughout the night.

Lemme say this clearly, most people will fall under this category. I almost did but God helped me.
You're now wiser, don't do this!

Is There a secret way out? Yes, there is And I'll update later.

I beg you all in God's name, read this thing and take it with seriousness, it's the gospel truth.
Ex-predites can attest.

Dammytrager:
Pls wat is Fb is it a country...I don't knw cos I schooled in Pluto

Lemme burst your bubble small.......


Pluto is no longer a planet

Btw......Facebook is the market square in Nnewi