₦airaland Forum

ladyF:
lol the whole weekend luv

Haaaaahahahahahahhaaaaaa..... You can stay for three hours, and go by 7pm.. you feet stay the next weekend

ladyF:
Chai!!! No light at all for here o. Be like say I go come squat. Oya come and open your gate biko

You wan come charge phone.? How many days u wan stay.?

ladyF:


Una get light for your side?

Yess ooo, but not as steady as it used to be last year.. I sure say una side no dey get light naa.?

Explorers:
Lol...I dont get this bro, what going on here?

THEY ARE CRAZY BONES..

ladyF:
I dey alright. I always remember you na. Thinking of you 24-7...

Hahahahaaa.. Wooww.. That's so cool. That's same of me you too

CONFIRRM

ladyF:
Happy birthday dear. Long life and prosperity. Hip-hip-hip...

Hurrraaayyyhh.. Thanks to you dear Lady for remembering me oooo.. How u doing naa.?

This part got me well well.. I know the feeling.

Millz404:
You finally gather all you life savings, borrow join, get a beta apartment and reminisce on your face me, i face you experience... thanking God uv upgraded

jamst2:
Hey! Dont get it wrong bro,this is a protest to take back our right...SUBSIDY IS A HOAX

By what they explained, Removal of Subsidy is a good thing.. If crude oil price drops, the prices of petrol and diesel and kerosine will all drop... As simple as that..
But this government just raised the Prices last week for no single reason at all.. They couldn't blame GEJ because that would be the most stupid explanation to their actions..
THUS, THEY BLAMED THE DOLLAR

princeade86:
i believe that if it is PDP were to be in power, Lagos state will be the first state to go on strike and they will be the one to sponsore and gather people together at ojota and pay musicians to come and play. naija......... hmmmmmnnn..... God will take control one day.

You know,, I am happy that PDP stayed by the side and watched the whole drama, (save for Fayose's stings)..
Now, it is left for Nigerians to save Nigeria. Our leaders are "Shaking Hands", and laughing, and selling petrol for ₦107 among themselves

Trouble Dey oooo..!!
..
First of all, it would be bad if the strike itself enters next week.
Secondly, and most importantly,, it would be worst if banks and other financial institutions join the strike at any time at all.

NwaEzefuNaMba:
Na who be Mbaka?

Ask Again.

We must first see the worst of it all before we start seeing any good thing...
This good thing that we hope to see will be as a result of Nigerians themselves deciding to change things by themselves, and no more waiting for those in power..
We are in for it already..
It had begun..
Rev. Mbaka prophesied it

Following

free2ryhme:
Are you happy with inflation?

At the time occupied Nigeria in 2012, oil was above 100 usd per barrel compared to now that a barrel is less than 40 usd.

If the raw materials are cheap, the finished products should be cheap also...

Wait oo...
Ibe Kachikwu said that subsidy had been removed. (11th May).
V.P Osinbajo said that subsidy was not removed. (14th May)..
...
Now, we are confused..
Which of them is correct.?
...
Propaganda Everywhere.!!!

Meanwhile,, I found this picture online and decided to share it here..

The NLC and TUC were embarking on Strike Action because of the Increase in Petrol Price as the Subsidy still remained intact and never removed..
Other Unions were backing out of the strike in order to suppor the government for Removing the Subsidy on Petrol..
....
Now, there is misunderstanding here.,, and the questions that beg for answers are..
1. Was the Subsidy removed or NOT.??
2. Will the strike still proceed as planned.??
..
(No thanks to the deadly Factionism that plagues almost everything that happens in Nigeria)

idupaul:
We don't want 120 naira a litre then later someone will tell us there is still subsidy. .let them leave it at 145 a litre ooo

Even at ₦145, they called it "Liberalisation of Petrol Supply",, and not "Subsidy Removal", neither did they call it "Deregulation".

asokoromadam:
I thought section whatever of the rules says ,no to Biafra topic.
E go hot for people wey dey this country

Now you don wake..
The rule didn't say No to "Biafra topic"..
It said No to "Threads Promoting Biafra"..
That means, "Threads Ridiculing Biafra" is very much allowed..
...
Now that you are awake, Welcome To Nairaland.

Explorers:
10. A river under Mexico ocean.

Explain this one well ooo

Ooh Boyy Eeehh.!!

Explorers:
11. “A guy I know went to a wedding and got drunk and ate the inside of the wedding cake. He was a chef so I guess he figured out a way to (with the help of someone else) tilt the cake and eat the majority of the inside so the only thing that remained was the hard fondant shell. When the bride and groom went to cut the cake there was hardly any cake inside left.”



12. “I was the maid of honor at my sister’s wedding and up at the altar when Ifelt my stomach gurgle. I really tried to hold it in, but I farted. It was not silent. Since I was standing near the mic, everyone got treated to the sound of my fart. The smell was so bad they had to open the windows.”


13. The preacher was in the middle of the vows and one of the groomsmen interrupted and said, ‘John, I’m sorry but you can’t marry Sherilynn. I love her and she’s pregnant with my baby.’ Wow.


https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliegerstein/wedding-nightmares-thatll-make-you-glad-youre-single?_e_pi_=7%2CPAGE_ID10%2C9391009456

kekakuz:
hmmmm you must be a prophetess

So, tell us.. What happened next.? We are curious

kekakuz:
last night was amazing @ a bubbling club in Abuja with my boss. she is tall robust and in her late 20s. I meet her at a social event where we shared contact and she help me get a job in her office. she not only help me get a job but back dated my employment letter and I resumed promoted.
all her kind gestures towards me made me develop a sense of indebtedness to her but have never been able to pay her back except that I make sure she never runs out of data on her phone.
on Thursday she I received a pm from her asking me if I had plans for Friday night. truth be told I don't have anyplans so I told her no. she said she would pick me up later at night.
I knew she needed a companion to one of her many events and don't want her friends to know she is a loner. so I saw it as an opportunity to give back to her

about 4pm as we approach close of business on Friday , a general mail was sent that we would be coming for Saturday duties and default is equal to suspension.

after the mail I felt we probably would not be going out anymore since there is work. she came by my office and drop her car key and told me to pick her and her friends up by 10pm. she picked a drop and left.
at exactly 10:05 I reached her estate and picked her and 2 of her friends as we head to wuse 2.
we went to have dinner and she slipped her ATM in my hand and whispered the code in my ears.

I paid like a boss and we went straight to wine bar not far away. we ordered drinks and she held on to me as if we have been dating for years. she occasionally kiss me on the cheek. I was being careful not to drink too much because am driving and I don't drink much. so I mixed my jack Daniels with coke. thereafter we drove to a club nearby. their blood alcohol was already above the legal limit. the three of them danced like crazy I just stayed calm forming boss in the VIP section. whenever her two friends come close to me, she jumps in the middle like she was jealous. we danced till about two am when I decided its time to go. they were so drunk if not for the help of the security who helped me bring them inside the car, I drove back into the estate and her two friends came down but she was fast asleep. I carried her inside and lay her gently on the bed. she held me and whisper in my ears stay with me tonight. I knew she was drunk and not in her right mind. I tuck her in her bed
spread and kissed her good night and dropped her car key beside her to enable her get to the office in the morning.

I took a drop home and sleep off immediately. I woke up 7:30 and was running late. I quickly prepared for work but got to the office 30min late. everyone was on time except me. I logged into my mail and saw a query from my boss.
at first I felt it was a kind of cover up eye service but she copies disciplinary and regional head in the mail that unroll 10am to reply why I came late and should not be suspended .
I immediately sent her PMs but she replied none. so I replied the query saying I took my sick sister to a vigil for healing and I over slept after the vigil.
she sent another mail instantly that she recommend that I be suspended for a week without pay with immediate effect.

seriously I was confused because I can't believe it was the same person I spent whole lastnight with.
I picked my bag and just went back home wondering if I was dreaming.

She will come back for you.. By the time her friends start talking about you, she will replay the whole night again with smiles all over her face.. This time, you've got to stay with her.

iamVirus:
written by: DJ Virus


1. You drive by when you're in need of money.
You see a bank with nobody at the atm.
you rush in.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3710100_2425_jpeg499f1c1c3f5e501c7f6823a6eb3747f5

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2. You can boldly see [OUT OF SERVICE]
Then you clean your eyes and check again
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3710109_2349_jpegfb44aa26f71f365599ebdc553ff8e3b2

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3. but, you have to go to the bank with long queue
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3706513_img20160402152659edit_jpeg7824a56df997cc042ee28e0102b75cea

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4. You See The Long Queue
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3677945_58638_jpeg88eb2ef81f8ad36e9237ba6b8e5de0ec

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5. No other choice, you join the queue
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3677928_58637_jpeg9aff8c892fa5832c65c689ca83c0eaf3

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6. After waiting for 30mins, someone comes to tell you he was here before you
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3707206_article232635919D8144E000005DC401634x511_jpgbde072354c425217e78cfd0cb3566fbb

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7. You'll be like, oga, no provoke me
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3710122_2348_jpeg6fda563eaba98cd3192e236a22682554

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8. Then, people on the queue start supporting the man. so you have to make way for the man. but, withdrawing 1k will not waste time naa

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3710163_2386_jpeg4defdc93496d876b301b2525e032a072

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9. Then, you see people with more than 4 ATM cards
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3710116_2388_jpeg61131a26a2b84ea4467b7f843db0f746

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10. But, you still keep cool and wait for you turn
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3710179_rubbish_jpegcf98c6c688ca08fa5a316f4da975ee31

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12. An ovaSabi guy just walks in and thinks everybody queuing is a fool. he decides to use the atm with nobody on it. on inserting his card, you wave him
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3677998_image3a58643_jpeg77d8a010d84f930001b09c474a3c3005

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13. ATM swallows his card, you're like
https://funnypicturesgallery.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/1351737293781_funny-pictures.jpg




14.He then walks into the bank to go and complain

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3706682_whensomeoaddsuonagroupdatdoesntconcernu_jpeg09c13e565584094aad9e3a77864d1ae0

15. Finally, you're the next person to withdraw, but that pretty lady wants to withdraw all the money in the ATM
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3706590_facedissapointe1462285312347_jpegaeab505ef3bd745e1802c7877c520943

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16. She calls bank security to come help her on the ATM machine

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3706637_11825709101564070320752457781589815212041363n_jpeg2547647628ea3bd9d72fd4b49cdee7c9

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17. You finally step out to withdraw
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3709525_dancefat_jpeg8201f440a617d84c6e7f6302b026baa3

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18. YOU WITHDRAW AND DANCE YOUR WAY HOME
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3709151_dance_jpeg6ab50ecc1a8efd326a50d52464c29b2c

You ended the story so quick..
What about the time he finally gets to insert his card, and the ATM shows him "TEMPORARILY UNABLE TO DISPENSE CASH".??"

virginboy1:
Could this tribal epistle be a warning or a rumor?

Oga explorer wetin you think?

**COPIED**

[06/05 11:42] [b]
By Adamu Mohammed.

Ever since President Muhammadu Buhari took over the mantle of leadership of this great country Nigeria, we(Hausa-Fulanis) have come under severe media attack from enemies of progress. Just because they are educated than us, they stereotype us with negativity. Just because they own and control the media, they use the media against us.

But let me make something clear to you stupid fellows hating us, whether you love us or hate us, it doesn't change anything. We are who we are and we will continue to remain like that. We hate you even more and we can never love you because you are all infidels. I pity those of you who keep deluding yourselves that we can love and trust you simply because you worked against your people to our own advantage, never!

I heard that the stupid Governor of Oyo State, Ajimobi said that they won't accept the proposed Grazing Bill. But my message to the filthy Yoruba pig is that, if you don't want to give us your cursed land, we will rear our cattle not only on your farmlands but in your churches. And if you try to stop us, we would killed your chicken hearted men like rabbits then turn your mothers, wives, sisters and daughters to our sex slaves like we have always done.

It is either you give the whole of South to us to use as grazing reserve or we soak it with your blood. And what you would do like you always do is noise on Facebook and Twitter. you cannot be united against us because there would always be the likes of Tinubu, Amaechi and Okorocha in your midst who will divide you for selfishness and love of money. Such treacherous characters can't survive in our midst because we burn them and their families.

I so much detest Southern Christians because they are the problem of this country. If I have my way, there won't be any functional church in this country, especially in the North. That's why I am so much happy with Governor El-rufai who is living up to the expectations of Allah in Kaduna State. We are not really pleased with President Muhammadu Buhari who is too slow to implement everything we asked him to implement in this country for us, he has not even done 20% of the Northern/Islam agenda, what he is waiting for I don't know.

We will make life unbearable for Igbos like they are in Hell, and yet we won't let them have their useless Biafra because the whole of South is a conquered territory. We can never see Yorubas as allies no matter how hard they try to please or serve us because they are born traitors and infidels. Those slaves in the Middle Belt would continue to be willing tools in our hands, and the day they attempt to raise their heads, we will cut off their heads like weeds. I lack words to tell the inconsequential and always crying Niger Delta because what we are waiting for is for President Buhari to declare state of emergency in Rivers, Bayelsa and Delta, then we will show them how to use power.

We are at war with you people but we won't allow the country to breakup because, natural resources found in any part of the country is our heritage and birth right. We will continue killing you in large numbers until you are truly submissive to us as your slave masters. We won't stop killing you until we fully takeover your land as a conquered territory. This is not the time to mince words, this is not the time to sugarcoat things, and this is not the time to be economical with the truth, this is nothing but the truth, ignore it at your own peril. [/b]

[06/05 11:42] Uche Akobundu

My brother, create the bolded part as a seperate thread, put it's source, and shout lalasticlalal.!!!..
Yess..
Nigerians need to see these glaring warnings themselves,, even if it comes on "Facebook and Twitter"; or even on "Nairaland".

Jerryolumide:
As much as a genocide can happen in Nigeria I doubt if an ethnic cleansing can occur, God forbid though

We have grown past ethnic cleansing though... As for genocide, u can't say..

sweetcocoa:
As usual, very educative thread but explorers you been fall hands with that your yeye ghost thread sha.

First of all, you don't expect the best from people at all times..
Secondly (and most importantly), he was actually asking if ghosts exist in that thread. Then he took an inclination to the "Yes" option to show us some events that made a lot of people to actually believe that ghosts exist.

misspicy:
Our society is not ready to accept that a woman can voice out her sexuality just like her male counterpart.

Its a man's world and social media is like the only place women (feminist) are allowed or free to voice out their opinion because of the anonymity


Trust me,its worst when you talk about crushing on a guy with people,they give you this "Ashawo" look


I believe we will get there someday


So I finally made FTC on FP after a long time
Lalasticlala weldone o

Nairalanders should show me love for my Birthday coming up next week...let's start getting the likes from today

Your Birthday is Next Week.??
If it is Thursday, then, we are Birthday Mates..

Explorers:
5. Rwandan Genocide.


The Rwandan genocide was the well-planned ethnic cleansing and massacre of 800,000 Tutsis and “moderate” Hutus in Rwanda. The genocide, which began on April 6, 1994, was orchestrated by Hutu tribesmen, who not only attacked the Tutsis, but also any of their own tribesmen who protected them.The genocide had been in the works since at least 1992, when the Belgian ambassador to Rwanda warned that the Hutus were preparing for an ethnic cleansing. Another Belgian, Professor Filip Reyntjens, also appeared before the Belgian senate and warned that the Hutus were operating death squads. He even mentioned one of their leaders as Rwandan Army Colonel Theoneste Bagasora, who would later command the genocide. In January 1994, the commander of UN troops in Rwanda, General Romeo Dallaire from Belgium, also sent a fax, now known as the “genocide fax,”to the UN, wanring that the Hutus had plans to wipe out the Tutsis. He requested more troops and permission to attack a Hutu arms cache. The UN turned down his requests and instead told him to inform the Rwandan government, which was filled with the same people planning the genocide. That same month, Dallaire seized an arms cache, which was placed in custody of United Nations and Rwandan troops the same Rwandan troops who were training the rebels who perpetrated the genocide.

Why am I thinking that Nigerians are ignoring some warnings already.?