₦airaland Forum

leboss6:
Thanks a bunch for the advice,point well taken,you really seem to be schooled in matters of the heart cos you have brought a whole new perspective to my predicament now i have to really think deep and make a decision, God help me, thanks again

You are welcome,

Ivynwa:
@poster
Miss Tolutara said what I have in mind and she being married said it better than I would have. You heard her right spice up your life(I mean marriage) or it can get monotonous and drab. I wish I am lucky like you guys and have a married partner and I will work what I've got. Get cosmopolitan magazine, redbook. Visit their site online and other sites that can help you get creative.
I hate to see monotonous marriages and wish you can go to work and remove monotony from yours if you feel it has gone so. You need to go on an intensive lecturing of yourself on how to put the zzzzzzzzzzzz in your marriage like Tolutara said. Get him involved too, you can start with a remake of your look, get some Rihanna short cut or something long and sexy as you will like, buy him some different clothings, hot looking jeans, body hugging tops for men that will have him looking yummy and attractive all for you. Why don't you too party and celebrate your 10th year anniversary if you haven't done that. Go to work girlfriend! and no you are not out of love with him, may be bored with doing the same thing all over and perhaps not going out much together and getting bored coocooned at home. You two can chill in a hotel for the weekend, the Eko meridian with those beautiful seaview will be wonderful.

I quite agree, you don't even really to change your physical looks just your outlook of things need change. Be more playful. It's not that serious you know. I have 3 kids and I still dance for my hunny.

MRbrownJAY:
^^^^shouldnt he take how she treats HIM as a tool to judge her?!

People tend to fake when they are in a relationships, so I will usually watch how they treat others while putting into consideration of their acts with me.

leboss6:
Hello peeps let me just give you guys a brief synopsis of my predicament, i am a facebook user and had built up my profile for almost 6 years so when i woke up one morning to log in i got a message that my account had being deactivated,after trying all i could to no avail i had to register another profile and started adding friends including my girlfriend, when she saw my invite she called and asked me why i deleted her and i told her i did not delete her that my account was disabled by the fb team she hung up and sent me this message


You are rude and silly, you r such a fool.Who the hell do you think you are?i hate your ways,u can go to blazes, oponu,u don't know how to treat a lady,i can never pray 2 have you 4 a hubby foolish ,

That was the most rude message i ever received from a girlfriend in my life,and coming from a girl i really had plans of settling down with i was shocked to say the least now she is on her knees begging for forgiveness please if you were in my shoes what would you do?

Wow, She acted rather in an immature way, however, that is not enough to throw a relationship you built up away. I think you should forgive her but keep on a very short leash and watch her very carefully from now on.

The way to know if your potential wifey is good wife material is to watch the way she treat others she consider below her, e.g waiters, cooks, gate-men etc. That will help you judge her real character. If she show no respect to folks like that, then you know she is not reveling to you who she really is, then you can make your decision.

Goodluck.

jani30:
i have been married for 10yrs and you all know how it gets, when your old in this thin called marriage.
now i noticed i and my husband are growing apart, i dnt know how i feel towards him any more .
we have our know problems but you know how it gets when your out of love, what can i do?

wow sweetie, I am so sorry to hear this.

But I think you guys need to recreate the passion and things you liked about each other when you first fell in love. I completely understand that marriage can become mundane after a while especially when you are really busy and have children.

We have been together 8 years and married for 5. What we do is always trying  keeping the zzzzzzzz alive in our relationship. We find ways to keep each other on our toes. We always have "fun sex" not "married sex"if you know what I mean, we get really naughty. I have learnt to initiate sex and love making in different ways to keep the fun alive.

We try to be very open to each other and try not being stiff or boring.

Please my dear, you need to open up to him per your feelings , let him know if there is something missing. Try not to get to emotional about it but open and honest.

Marriage can only be boring and mundane if you allow it. You have to work at it (it is full time job). Kudos to you guys, to be with someone for 10 years is no joke and you must doing some things correctly.

So Bottom line, you are not out of love , you are emotionally not connecting, so try and do the above, but I do understand it takes two.

Shalom

The part I have a problem with when you are with friends and both Naija, You are trying to level up but the are faking an accent with you, Irritating.

phemmy26:
she accepted me back after the one week and we went back as normal, showing all the love and about two days ago i couldnt get off the fact that she cheated on me so i asked her two days ago if she ever cheated on me, and she said said no then later she called me in the night only to tell me that if we are going to stay together again that she had a confession to make and she then told me that she slept with the guy about three days when we made up and that it wasn't intentional, i went to her house immediately she told me and was on the verge of leaving but she cried and begged me not to. I don't want to leave her because i love her and i could see those guilt in her eyes and really sorry for what she did. I accepted her back. Is that a right decision i made for the sake of love. I love her and would nit one to loose her. That very day i asked her the question if she has cheated on e, the very guy she cheated with still shook hands with me that day. Girls are wicked upon all the love i gave to her and some times i say to my self that to love someone is definitely a waste of time and oe shouldnt love because now i have tasted love and love hurts and wicked

I would never again love a girl so deeply cos now i know its definitely not worth it. They all the same

1st, This Poster is S.T.U.P.I.D or what?, haba, After all  the advice your were given by the  people here. You have the audacity to post the poo above and ask us if it was ok take her back.?

Then your crazy self tells us women are the same, omo eat poo jor. You an I.D.I.O.T , you deserve what you got. Grow a pair and quit being a man with such low self esteem, with your I can't live without her crap. Hhen Die for her then, errant nonsense.

davidylan:
What sort of English is this? Reading mama bear's posts is akin to taking a language test!

lol, Hi David, I am a fan of your posts,

SA Goddess:
@ OP

Why did you only feel guilty in the morning when you had the whole night to mess around and think about what you were doing?  How does the new lover feel about this situation?

[b][b]PS:  Not sure if I am th[/b]e only one but sms English is almost impossible to read, _{wish people would learn to write properly} just thinking out loud, don't mind me![/b]

thought i was the only one who feels this way, I couldn't comprehend her post at all.

8 Years, married for 5 , 3 kids and counting, They Best 8 years of my Life, muaaaaah to you baby.

agabaI23:
What makes it paradise hun

It is more of a comfort thing, With your heart against his, Talking , kissing or whatever, two hearts beating in unison , omo. I love it and my honey knows.

I love doing this, especially with his arms around me, omo, that na paradise

@ OP

I took the liberty to look at your profile and what i saw  is a beautiful African queen

Then I wondered How could one  be so beautiful and S.T.U.P.I.D at the same time.

Girl get a "real life"!!!!! You never find you man.

Nice One @ OP

Very interesting

My definition of Beautiful Love is shared by you to me, It caresses me, anchors me , cares for me and above all cherishes me.

Baby u know what I mean.

NL Folks share yours,

Source:

http://originalmgbeke..com/2010/06/youre-not-married-yet.html


Every day, you log onto FaceBook and what do you see waiting for you on your homepage?


‘Bisi has gone from being in a relationship to engaged’

‘Anita is now married’

'John just put a ring on it'



If your homepage ain't giving you the gist, you are straight up hearing it from the horse’s mouth when the Bisi actually updates her status via her Iphone for Facebook with ‘OMG, I’m engaged’. Or Anita is updating her status from her honeymoon, talking about ‘Chilling in Morrocco with hubby, I’m so blessed and lucky to have him’.



So, you’re like dagnabit! I’m taking a FaceBook break because this oppression is too much but, you learn the hard way that you can run, but you can’t hide…for the very next day, your homegirl is calling to give you the 'latest gist'… ‘Omo, guess who don engage themselves ooo’. If your homegirl ain't calling you, you're feeling the oppression every Sunday at church, when the Pastor stays announcing the latest engaged couples, and urging y'all to congratulate them, and pray for them. And if church isn't doing the work, all the millions of wedding websites that are circulating the internet, definitely hit home.





It doesn't help that you dated Mike for 6 years, and then he broke up with you on some 'baby, it's not you, it's me' and then turned around to quickly move on with some other chick, and propose to her after only 8 months of dating. You're like crap! What did I do wrong? I cooked for him, cleaned for him, provided a listening ear, performed those acrobatics in bed, and played the wifey material role like I was supposed to, so what did she do differently, that I didn't? Heck! He always told you that you were 'wifey', and a 'keeper', but I guess actions speak louder than words. You're actually pissed off by the unfairness of the whole situation, after all you groomed him, primed him, prepped him and introduced him to your family and friends…only for him to pull the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’…and 8 months down the line, you stumble across his wedding website and you’re like what Imagine! Another babe dey enjoy the result of your hardwork. Kai!



Matter of fact, it seems like all of a sudden you're hearing a whole bunch of those 'they dated for 8 months, and he proposed' type of stories, and you can't help thinking about all the men whom you dated for 2 +years, and they ain't say peep about marriage. But when you think harder, you realize that all of them are married, so it definitely wasn't them with the problem now. Could it be you? things that make you go hmmm,





You're kinda hoping that this marriage fever will pass, and all man will begin to hear word again but who dash monkey banana? Marriage season is here to stay, and somehow you've been left on the sidelines looking at those million wedding websites, FaceBook status updates, and feeling those random twinges of self pity because it seems like everyone else in the world is getting married, but YOU.


‘What’s wrong with me', you ask. ‘Why can’t I meet a correct bobo too?' I’m smart, educated (2 degrees and counting), pretty, can cook a mean isi-ewu and generally throw down in the kitchen, can cook it up in the bedroom as well, and come to think of it, all those ex-boyfriends of mine always complimented me and said that I was 'wifey material’.

You just can't seem to meet a decent bro. The dating scene is wack and the 'market' is very dry and drab looking. All the guys that you've met recently all seem to praise your greatness and tell you how awesome you are, and how you’re wifey material…but…they aren't looking for anything too serious, and just wanna be friends with benefits.

You're tired of playing these guessing games with men, he likes me, he likes me not. You just want some permanence o jare! Someone to call your own, so that you kwa can oppress other single ladies on FaceBook. Ah ah, e easy?


It doesn't help that all your married friends smugly tell you how men see their future wives, and instantly know that she's the one/after a few months of dating, they know that she is wifey, sooo you're definitely thinking that something is wrong with you.




You’re thinking ‘chai…30 dey approach ooo’ (since the memo went out, that 30 is the cut off age after which if you’re still not married, you should go and jump off a bridge). Your ‘juniors’ don marry and born pikin since. In fact, dem dey on their 3rd pikin now sef. Your mates dey rock matching aso-ebi with their husbands in church and/or weddings.
You officially hate going to weddings because all the boo'ed up women seem to clutch their boyfriends possessively while marking their territory, the married women seem to be very smug about their status, and when it’s time to catch the bouquet, your married friends give you that pitying smile and the nudge like ‘girl, go and catch the bouquet na’.

Everyone is asking ‘oh baby, why you dey single sef?, you need to put yourself out there, go out more, be more social’…but they don’t know that if you do any more putting of self out there, na to run naked for street, remain.

You even start dreading running into your Aunts, because the subject of marriage always comes up and they give you all these suggestions, like you ain't tried it all. And let's not talk about your parents,





What’s a girl to do?




Do you continue to mull over the matter and feel sorry for yourself? Maybe even drive by a couple of bridges on your 29th birthday to determine which one you will jump off when 30 nack and ring no dey for hand?

Do you hang up all your mini skirts and abortion belts, in exchange for more Mary Amaka looking outfits, because ‘well behaved women and wifey material don’t hit the club no more’.

Do you join the church and become an usher, because rumor has it that all the good and God fearing single men full ground for church.
Do you hold off on buying that townhouse that you’ve been eyeing or that 2012 BMW, because your mother told you that men are intimidated by successful women?


I mean…girl, what are you going to do? Put your life on hold waiting for marriage to happen? Worry your pretty head about things that you can't control?

Truth of the matter is, you realize that you might get married, and you might not. It's all a game of fate + luck. So in the case of the latter, what's a girl gonna do? Hop off that bridge because life without marriage is a life not worth living?




But one day, like a bright shining light, it hits you and you jump up from your workspace in corporate America, feeling energized and ready to take on the world (your coworkers are alarmed but they will be fine). The light bulb goes off in your head and you suddenly know that you must continue to live life to the fullest and not worry about things that you can’t control. The dating scene is wack, and you're probably not going to meet a man at the wedding that you plan to attend next weekend, but so what?

The 'good' men are MIA (the women in Yankee claim that the men are in Jand, the women in Jand say the men are in Yankee, everyone abroad thinks that they are in Naija, and the women in Naija give you the blank stare, and say that there are no men)…so really, where are those men hiding? Well, until that magical secret hiding place is discovered, you decide that you are going to continue to do you. You're going to have fun with your girls (single or married), you're going to buy that BMW, life is short, abi? You're going to travel more and experience more of life. You decide that you're not going to put your life on hold and worry your pretty head over the fact that there's no bling bling on your ring finger.



You say to yourself 'I'm not married yet, but so what?'. Life goes on.

To me weddings ceremonies are nice if you can afford it but if you can't it is quite unneccssary.

True story as it happened to moi:

We met and dated about 3 years , we decided we wanted to get married. We had some money but if wanted a quality wedding ceremony in Georgia, you would need some good change. Husby and I also wanted to start a business around that same time as we are both business minded.

Any how to cut long story short. We had to make a choice having a wedding or starting a business? as attractive as having a nice wedding sounded to me especially being a woman who want my time to shine before friends and family, I just couldn't imagine spending all that money in one day and not able to fulfil our dreams of being a business owners. He had me choose stating whatever my choice was he will do it .

I chose start our business but instead of a lavish wedding, we had a traditional wedding with intimate friends (people in attendance 20 including bride and groom).


Fastforward 5 years later, Our PC repairs and service centers can boast of 2 locations in the US Virgin Islands. We had a renewal of our vows recently with 200 hundred guest and it was lavish alright .

What I am really saying is, if you belive in your future together, a wedding ceremony has to be something you can afford comfortable and if you can't you get the rest of your life to make it up to each other, it really isn't a big deal.

;d ;d ;d ;d ;d

Heard she prolly wanted him to die so she could get the Life insurance, What a cold-hearted creature

(PEOPLE.com) -- Gary Coleman's panicked wife initially balked at helping him after he suffered an apparent head injury that left him bloodied, according her 911 call.

Shannon Price, 24, tells the operator that Coleman was stricken while preparing her something to eat the evening of May 26 downstairs in their Santaquin, Utah, home.

"He just got home, I heard this big bang, I went downstairs. Blood everywhere," she says. "I don't know if he's okay. I'm not down there right now because I have a fever, if I get stressed out I'm going to faint."

Price says, "He fell. His head is bloody. There's blood all over the floor. I don't know what happened." The operator asks, "Is there any way you can go down there at all?" Price replies, "I'll try, I don't know, I mean, "

When the operator asks if anyone else is there who can go downstairs, Price says, "No," and adds, "I've just been kind of sick. I don't want to be traumatized right now."

Price then is heard saying, "Gary, are you okay?" and telling him, "Stay where you are" and "Don't move, Gary."

The operator asks Price to tell Coleman to put pressure on his own wound. "Gary, you have to put pressure on your wound," Price is heard saying. "He's lethargic, I can't really help him. I just need help quick."

The operator says help is on the way. "I just can't be here with the blood," Price says. "I'm sorry, I can't do it. I can't. , There's blood all over and I can't do anything."

Price then says, "I can't drive" because she's been sick with a fever. "I can't do anything right now."

The operator asks Price "to at least give him a towel" so Coleman can apply pressure to his wound. Price replies, "Yeah, I'm just panicked. I don't know what to do , I just don't want him to die. I'm freaking out."

Next, she's heard telling Coleman, "You have to put this on your head , Keep pressure on this, okay, hold this." She tells Coleman, "You need to sit down. Sit down! Gary, sit down!"

People.com: Lawyer says Coleman divorced in 2008

She tells the operator just moments before emergency crews arrive: "I'm gagging, I got blood on myself, I can't deal."

Coleman, 42, was taken off life support two days later after doctors determined he'd suffered a brain hemorrhage and his condition worsened. An official cause of death is still pending an investigation. Police say there was nothing suspicious about his accident.



Source

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/celebrity.news.gossip/06/02/gary.colman.wife.resisted.giving.aid.ppl/index.html

Princek12:
pls complete your sentence oooooo. You have to kneel down to give "ori" now. Abi ?

Amen to the above,

I do it sometimes, When maybe I really messed up and wanna really apologize but he does it too though

Definitely do it when i want to to to to to (I no fit even complete my sentence) hahahahahah, leave matter for God, lol

For all the busy moms, this might be another option for a baby sitter, Just kidding


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsaEvyHNZGs

MS B,

u No see wetin I see,  na we ladies go dey say, men this Men that, gosh!!!!!, no wonder Men are not being honest with ladies anymore.

Dude said he needed a break not a break up, !!!! What she needs to do is to have him define the break , how long and the rules that govern it and
determine a time when they will review their time apart and make a decision how to forge ahead either separately or jointly.

Lacrissa, Lacrissa, Lacrissa

I believe I have called you 3 times,

Girl, you are behaving like an unfinished and uncultured girl instead of being a lady.

A lady who respects herself and claims she loves this man will give him the time to think about his future with you. he has said as much,but you conveniently looked for an opportunity to hang with a dude that likes you and taking stuff from him (basically taking advantage of that Guy's feelings) but you want your feelings to be respected . No wonder he is cooling his heels with you. He can see he is not dealing someone matutre.

You are  not even smart enough to keep your mouth shut but you  told the man you are trying to keep you with another guy??( what exactly were you trying to achieve by tell him)?? , are listing to yourself at all . Then you have the audacity to ask him if he wanted to breakup. If he was smart, I hope he does.


I remember people here on NL told you give him the time he needs to make up his mind, but no, Lacrissa did not hang out with her girlfriends but instead a dude  or better yet, look inward and see if there was somethings she did to contribute to the issue at hand. She is there asking dumb questions .

Girl, you really have no business dating right now. You need to mature some more as you will only hurt yourself and others in the process, IMO.


So to your question if you should end it yourself, Newsflash Girl, you already did. Hope you are happy