₦airaland Forum

Wande Coal on Thursday Sept 30, 2010, was involved in another auto crash along Abuja-Benue Road on his way to perform at the Naija@50 concert put together by the Benue State Govt.

The accident, according to eye witnesses left the car a write off but luckily none of the passengers was seriously injured. This is the second accident Wande Coal will be involved in less than three months.

Souce:http://lindaikeji..com/2010/10/wande-coal-survives-another-auto-crash.html

^^^^^^I was about the say that, What Da? Roasted Balls, Oh my

more photos

Sorry folks, Summer never ends for me, I live in the US Virgin Islands,  St Thomas to be precise. Here some photos to cheer you up my lovely Chaircover

For where? they were never around to take care of their parental responsibilities. Some Nigerian Parents and "Owanbe" Parties. Irresponsible folks.

I learnt from their mistakes. My kids are surrounded by Dad and mum telling and showing them we love them. Not we love u but also how great they are,

My Husband and I have exactly the same perspective on Family, We are very Nuclear in Nature. Reasons: we both come from very dramatic extended families and for the sake of sanity and peace. Nuclear is the way to go.

We are actually looking for professional help not mallams etc. But will ask Chaircover. Thanks JayBee

Lagos is the location.

Research Honey, thanks

I am doing a research on the Maximum  an average Nigerian would pay for services such as

1. House-help
2. Drivers/Chauffeurs
3. Laundering Services
4. Gardening
5. Gate /Security Services
6. Caregiver for Children

Thanks Y'all. Wink We are moving to Naija and I need your help.

I am doing a research on the Maximum an average Nigerian would pay for services such as

1. House-help
2. Drivers/Chauffeurs
3. Laundering Services
4. Gardening
5. Gate /Security Services
6. Caregiver for Children

Thanks Y'all. We are moving to Naija and I need your help.

I am not talking about physical traits here, I am talking about as a person. If we are being honest here no one is perfect and there certain things about me I wouldn't to like to see in my Kids.

My obvious one is I can be very Introverted even thought I am quite social. It bothers me when people pry into my thoughts . But the qualities I would love to see, is my Sunny personality, Kind and Considerate of others and very giving.

So the above question is to all, Would you like your Kids to Be like you when they are grown?

if No, why? If Yes, what are those traits.

Beware People!!!!

I READ THIS ON FACE BOOK,

It is almost a year since my daughter Fadeke died and though it is very Painful recounting the details of her death to the public, I need to do this in the hope that other young ladies will learn from her story.



My husband and I are in our early fifties and besides Fadeke, the eldest, we have three other children. Over the years, we did our best to impart sound morals and values into our children though we did not become committed Christians until about five years ago. All our children are single and live at home with us.



About eighteen months ago, Fadeke began having headaches; we did not make much of this and she took analgesics whenever the headaches came but when the headaches became persistent, she went to her office clinic to see the doctor.

She was treated for malaria and typhoid and for a while she seemed okay but the headaches soon returned with a vengeance. Her condition became so serious that she had to take her annual leave because we felt that she just needed to rest. She spent most of leave sleeping and occasionally watching TV and by the time she resumed back at work, she had fully recovered.



Everything went smoothly for about two months then Fadeke started complaining about the headaches again and it was now accompanied by dizziness. This time around, my husband insisted on a full medical check-up for her but when she did this, the doctor still could not determine what was wrong with her. We even had her tested for HIV but the results came back negative; we were perplexed and did not know what to do. Fadeke was in pain and getting weaker by the day; at that point, my husband and I went to tell our church leadership about it, we were in dire need of physical, emotional and spiritual support.



When our pastor heard all that was going on, he advised us to join him in a three days prayer and fasting session to seek the face of the Lord. We were more than willing so for the following three days, our family asked God to show us the cause of Fadeke's ailment and give us a way out of the situation.



When I went to bed on the night of the last day of the praying and fasting, I had a dream. In the dream, I saw the Lord and He told me that Fadeke's condition was a result of an action she took. He said that she had "gone against covenant" by dating a married man; the man's wife was a committed Christian and He was fighting her battles for her. I was alarmed and woke up in a panic; immediately, I woke my husband up, told him of my dream and we began to pray for God's mercy.



The next morning, we told our pastor about my dream and he said that the way out was to find out the identity of the woman and get her to forgive Fadeke but when we confronted Fadeke, she denied being in a relationship with a married man. It was as if Fadeke's denial triggered something because her condition grew worse and she had to be admitted but the doctors could not really help, as they could not pinpoint what was wrong with her.



A few days later, I called one of Fadeke's closest friends, Gladys, and told her about my dream and asked her if she knew the person Fadeke was dating; Gladys told me that Fadeke was indeed dating one of her married colleagues in the office. I was alarmed at this because I felt that my husband and I had brought her up to know better than that but evidently, I was wrong.



On further prompting, Gladys told me that Fadeke had been dating the man for a little over three months when his wife somehow got to know about their affair.



Fadeke had told her that the woman had gotten her phone number from her husband's phone and pleaded with her to leave her husband alone but Fadeke had responded by telling the woman to stop disturbing and to sort the issue out with her husband (I was stunned when I heard this). When her pleas met deaf ears, the woman had told Fadeke that she gave her seven days to stop the affair or else she would have herself to blame then she dropped the phone.



The next day, Fadeke had told her lover about the conversation with his wife and he had apparently gone home afterwards and warned his wife off Fadeke; that was the last Fadeke and Gladys heard of the woman. Fadeke's health problem had started barely a month after that incident. I was horrified that my daughter could behave in such a manner but all I was concerned about was the way forward. Without further ado, I decided to seek out the man Fadeke was dating in her office with the hope that I could get to meet his wife through him.



At first, Gladys told me that the man, Jude, did not want to meet with me but I persisted and after I threatened to go to his office he reluctantly agreed to meet my husband and I. Jude was a good-looking young man in his mid-thirties and upon enquiry, he told us that he had been married for just five years; his wife, Nneka, was a banker and they have one child.



Jude was obviously uneasy about meeting with us and we tried our best to set his mind at ease; we had gone past the point of condemnation, we just wanted our daughter healed. My husband told him about my dream and then we told him that we would like to meet his wife so we could ask her to forgive Fadeke.

Jude told us that she had recently travelled out of the country on a two weeks vacation but he promised to call her and give her my number so we could talk; there was nothing left for my husband and I to do than wait for her call.



One morning about a week later, Jude and his wife came to see my husband and I. Immediately after the introductions Nneka went down on her knees and recounted her side of the incident. Apparently, after Fadeke's refusal to end her affair with Jude and his quarrel with Nneka over her phone call to Fadeke, their relationship deteriorated. They fought constantly and Nneka said that she felt like a fool when after her "seven days ultimatum" to Fadeke, it was obvious that Jude and her were still dating; he still came home late from work and continued answering some late night and weekend calls in a low voice.

She said that she was very disturbed by this then one day while praying, God told her to stop fighting Jude and that she should leave the battle to Him. She had obeyed God by changing her attitude towards Jude and the whole situation.



Nneka said that she had been shocked when on her return to the country, Jude told her about our visit and Fadeke's condition. Nneka told us that she did not know that God would vindicate her in this manner and that she had forgiven Fadeke. I wish I could say that my daughter recovered after this but Fadeke was unrepentant about her actions.

Fadeke was in the hospital for about two months before she went into a coma and never regained consciousness. She died.


Marriage is a covenant (not contract) relationship between a man and a woman. This is why the Bible says that when a man and a woman get married, they become one flesh. In a marriage, a couple stands as one united entity and all friends and foes are common to them;

I laugh bitterly for this generation ,

What is so wrong about dating someone who can't cater for your needs today but might be able to do tomorrow. It is sad to see women have downgraded relationships to materialist ventures. What is even more scary is that the same women will raise their unborn daughters to look down on potentially good men because of where they are today in terms of material possessions.

This same women will choose to become the 10th wife of some rich guy who can take care of her and will come back here to tell us how he is ignoring her. Too SAD!!!!

My philosophy when I was single was to date men who had a potential to succeed not a loser or a layabout. Men who had a plan and a dream to make it. This I-Want-It-Now Mentality is crazy and WILL lead a lot of our women down the path of destruction.

Agibecky:
This is not the Nigeria for my children.
My children will not grow up in the jungle of barbarians.

I love u for this statement. It is so true, My kids can never grow up like this. We are moving back to Africa but certainly not Nigeria,

The cost will be too great. Immediately you step the sole of your feet in that forsaken country, Your mortality rate just increased 50%. Just Sad!!!!

newmusic:
Hello tolutara, how u doing?

Human wants are insatiable,nobody can satisfy anybody,we are just trying.

Wassup Love, How are ya?

I am of the premise that everyone has their limitations, yes even in a relationship. I don't believe it is possible for one person to be able to give to the other party everything. No?

I am seeking additional opinions from both genders on this, u can either validate or discredit my opinion but please do so with reasons.

Papers Papers Papers, It all about the Paper,

See what Nigeria is driving our youths to do all in the name getting British Citizenship, I guess he must leave naija by and mean Necessary

follypimpi:

Hater    

Abi folly?, she ask for advise, we gave and now she claims she is laughing at our comments, Good for her now she needs to look in the Mirror and smile to herself.

Me I no get problem, my hubby can't keep his hands off me, why do u think i born 3 pikins in 4 years, abeg. and I am still a size 4 US with no Stretch marks and a flat belly. so to each his own, I am out!

Ok, Mz fanta, Wonderful.

Have a happy married life with your perfect man.

Still waiting for answers to my questions,

I don't understand why people are praising the openness and outspokenness of her Fiance about her weight BUT conveniently forget that he ridiculed her before his friends and also to her face.

How can someone based on other people opinions put pressure on his wife?. this is ridiculous.  What will happen if it takes a few years and tries to have children? hen? Especially the Males folks here are saying she should be grateful.

So Since he thinks she looks too old , we need your opinions on how to look younger than him too, as she can do something about weight but what about looking. old , what should she do?

I am telling you poster Wahala Dey!!!!!!!

folly, if he is he needs to say so, and free the girl with her self esteem intact . Not everyone is meant to skinny, and some men love them Big.

"ust last weekend, he complained that some of his friends saw  my picture and said I was fat and look older than him. He said he felt bad and that he does not want this to happen again. That I shld make sure I exercise everyday and loose the weight before November. "

That above statement from poster, shows her fiance has no respect for her. I cannot imagine anyone of my Hubby friends would dare make that statement or any other negative statement to my hubby about me without leaving with a smashed mouth )family included. cos he believes if i am trash, i am his trash alone and nobody else to be judged by them.

No only that his friends disrespected  his Wife-to-be, he had the audacity to come back and repeat it to her telling never to let that happen again, again those are traits of abusive behaviors.

I hope poster sees why I am concerned.

Folly,

I completely understand where Amaka is coming from because whether she likes it or not, she will never be secure in his love for her as constantly at the back of her mind she will always be reminded that she is walking on eggshells. Several questions will always surface, when she eats a choc bar, what is he thinking?  

and like the  poster said she doesn't feel pretty anymore, Big problem because nobody's love is greater than the love you have for yourself, and verbally abusive relationship typical starts this way  as name calling typically will follow. He his already verbally abusing her actually, with his comments to her but still very subtle.

I am actually afraid for the poster. as quoted below in her OP

"But he is not satisfied with my looks. Between August last yr and this yr, we have seen 4 times and each visit, we spend quality time together. But the issue is that he keeps complaining about my weight. Everytime we chat or speak, he is always so particular about if am still on the diet and if I exercised. I have been on a diet and joined a gym. I have come down from a US size 14 to size 12.
I told him he was putting so much pressure on me and he shld stop asking me about my weight.
Before our introduction in April this yr, I asked him if he was sure it was me he wanted, he said yes but that his fear was I wld eventually look older than him.
Just last weekend, he complained that some of his friends saw  my picture and said I was fat and look older than him. He said he felt bad and that he does not want this to happen again. That I shld make sure I exercise everyday and loose the weight before November. "




Poster, Marriage is already complicated as it is without the extra drama issues like this may cause. Having said all of this, Poster, you would have look inward to decide what to do. But if it were me, I would go to counseling alone as well as with him before I make such a big decision. Wishing u well.

Wow

That a lot chew on from your post. so I am going to go back and re-read it and come back with a response.

But off the bat, I am carefully going to say you do have big problem. You are with someone that isn't good for your self esteem as you are not his ideal expectation of a Wife. It might seem small right now but once you get married, it will be like the proverbial "Big elephant in the room".

Your Fiance is also too wrapped up in what people thinks about his wife, so not only are you dealing with his opinion, you are also dealing with the opinions of others, which means double wahala.


I will back, but that has been what i thought so far,