₦airaland Forum

ToToChoper:
Sorry to say--------- this African "model" kiss is a silly pittance of an attempt to stir some comical prograganda that Africans are wholly single-lip kissers, hence boringly inexperienced lovers.  

Shock:
[size=19pt]I think someone needs to be whipped for putting stúpid and irrelevant topics on the front page![/size]

Big-Man:
@Ame Lon Ro

All what you have said are correct. All women sometimes can be arogant (even men do), but they can compliment a home.

You really have to work on them to get the best out of them. One key thing is understanding your spouse. Know her strong and weak points, then you work on her weak points and strenthen her strong points. A woman can actually make or break your home depending on how you managed her. Most of the broken marriages are caused by men, though hard to admit. A woman is ready serve you if you show real love for her.

Does your spouse know your income and spending? Do you cheat on her? Is she part of your decision making? Do you care enough for her? How many times do you call/communicate to her in a day? When last do you have intimacy with her? etc etc. These are the basic ingredients that can make or break a home.

I don't have a perfect home either, but i made my spouse a Home Manager, while i am the Home Director. In that sense she knows every bit of my home and it is working well for us. My spouse actually made me a man i am today by God's Grace. I am always trying not letting our egos get on our ways. Most times you will never succeed without making her an icon in the home.

Ujujoan:
Right about your 200th post you'll soon begin to see that NL's full of hypocritical guys who 'make the rules as they go'!

They'd frown at s3x on the first date and yet insist women are not worth 'waiting for'!

They'd be the first to condemn a woman who doesn't want to marry a poor man but then trun around and say 'I WILL NEVER MARRY A JOBLESS WOMAN'!

They will swear they treat women right but when they open their mouth to address women here, you'd wonder if they had any respect at all!

I gave on them a long time ago!

Thanks for sharing anaywayz 

sofeco:
Where U not the person that came here long time ago praising your lovely husband here on NL?.

elderly:
These days we dont have time for long passages or comprehension.

Come to think of it, You might be in that situation.

Pls provide your ref:

cantell:
Sounds like the words of a lonely and depressed woman.
Well. . . whatever bakes your beans.

Romeo4real:
@OP - Reading the long post, quite a few things jumped out at me.
It seems that despite your assertions to the contrary, you were quite overwhelmed by the wealth of your wife's family. In fact, it impressed you sufficiently enough to cloud your judgement and reason. This was partly the reason you made a judgement call against your gut instinct - Marrying this girl. Lets look at some of your comments -
How could you plan to get married to someone, when by your own very admission (later in your post), you had not met any member of her family, never met her parents, did not know where she came from? In fact, you did not know a lot about her at this stage.
Why would you furnish us with this information? Unless it was important to you, or it made an impression on you?
What exactly is making you jittery? Could it be your own insecurity?
Well, this statement explains it at last. You feel the need to justify your background - though no one is questioning it. You admit you start seeing the girl in a different light - What light bis that exactly? And you say "Kemi's affluence told a different story about her" - What story exactly? That someone from such an affluent family could want someone like you?
This is such a revealing statement. You were ready to be rejected because you have a deep rooted insecurity. U already assumed they would not think "you were good enough". Their statement about not standing in their daughters way also confirms what you originally thot - That you are not up to their standards, but if that's what Kemi wants, then so be it.
So you accept that was resistance was a charade? You were never really going to break up with her - because you don't think you could find anyone better.
Stay away where? Sleep out of the marital home? What did you do about this?
Her drinking isn't new, and you know that. You just chose to ignore it before.
The fact that you are asking her this questions shows your state of mind and the lack of authority you wield in your marriage
You finally voice your insecurity. You have always considered yourself "riff raff" beside Kemi. She knew it, and her family knew it.
This statement encapsulates the totality of this situation. Have you tried to articulate to yourself what it is exactly you love about your wife? Your post contains no information about her good points, what she does for your, or the children, etc. In fact you have accused her of neglecting the children. What exactly do you love about her/ OR are you in love with the idea of being married to someone like her? From her background? With her family's money?

You married her knowing these vices, choosing to believe she will change, admitted you were going to marry her anyways. You accepted the behaviour - for 6 yrs. You also confirm you love her NO MATTER WHAT.

You see, Kemi knows you were impressed by her family's wealth. She knows that you wonder why she chose a "riff raff" like you. She knows it made you insecure. She know you do not think you can get better. She knows you love her no matter what. She knows you do not have the guts to leave. She knows all this, and that's is why she is confident in her behaviour. This is why she married you. And until you develop some guts, and become regain control of your relationship, this situation will not change.

chaz:
Are you unsatisfied with your marriage or relationship? Do you need a listening ear to give you advice? Or are you thinking of having an affair? Or are you thinking of ending your relationship? Well, i can give you good advice or help you find a partner for a discreet secret affair. Just call me, Lets talk 08068391182.

Busy_body:
Did she say she's got a good man or she has got good coping and managing skills with lashings of patience









Actually I have all of the above

lagerwhenindoubt:
@poster, I have a few questions (you do not need to answer)

1: how long have you been married for.
2: What is your level of financial security
3: Do you have a job that pays at minimum N50k per month
4: Does your wife have a job N50k per month

It is important to realize that while children are a blessing, they require absolute care to nurture that blessing to fruition. when we walk the streets and see Area boys and street hawkers we often wonder what their parents thought, That is not your portion in Jesus Name. Amen

There is such a concept as Family Planning and it is not a fashion statement but a critical look at the following
1: Can you sustain the growth and maturity of your first-born,usually if you are caught by unplanned events that cut your monthly sources of income when a second child is on the way. the chances are you will manage finances to prepare for a second-born and the first-born usually bears the brunt by virtue of being older. eventually the first-born will come second-place as you try to bring-up your second born. when you add your responsibilities as a bread-winner and the fact that your expectant wife will also need more attention and monies during the 9month period. you are in for a whammy if you have not planned for this
2: Considering the high cost of rent these days, you may want to plan ahead and save up for rent, because it cost me at least N120+k at LUTH (Pre and Ante Natal, Birth and Recovery+Drugs) and I don't plan on visiting soon.

E don happen, e don happen, you need to start saving fast. otherwise you will be blind-sided with events you have not planned for.
Stick in there. It comes with the territory